Stand Inside Your Love
by Angelica Diablo
Summary: The song-fic saga of Cye and his secret admirer. I bumped up the rating due to some graphic scenes in chapter 20. Summary for latest chapter: "Love heals everything, We're no exception to that rule"
1. Stand Inside Your Love

Stand Inside Your Love  
Song fic by,  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Ronins. Also, this is a song fic…and Stand Inside Your   
Love is a song by The Smashing Pumpkins. Glad I got that all cleared up.   
  
  
"You and me  
Meant to be  
Immutable  
Impossible  
It's destiny  
Pure lunacy  
Incalculable  
Insufferable..."  
  
He sat there, head bowed slightly foreword. His blue-green eyes were closed against the   
light thrown across the paper in front of him. The tiny desk lamp was the only   
illumination in the dim room, and it's harsh brightness hurt just then. An anonymous   
letter sat on his desk. It didn't say much, but it said enough.  
  
"But for the last time  
You're every thing that I want and ask for  
You're all that I dreamed..."  
  
Whoever had written it must have known him from collage, or perhaps had seen him on   
one of his frequent trips to the beach. Whoever it was, they knew about him and his   
girlfriend. Or should he say, ex-girlfriend. The letter in itself confused him. Why   
would anyone have sent this to him? Why now? Why him?  
  
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?  
Who wouldn't stand inside your love?  
Protected and a lover of  
A pure soul, and beautiful you..."  
  
It had been a hard breakup. He'd never been through a rougher one. There had been   
screaming, yes, and tears on both sides. He'd stormed home, an unusual state for him.   
He rarely stormed. Then again, he'd never walked in on a girlfriend kissing another guy   
when he had been on his way to propose to her before. That had been two days ago,   
and the wounds in his heart were still fresh.  
  
He knew he'd been a zombie as he'd gone from class to class for the past few days.   
When Kento had come to visit yesterday his buoyant cheeriness couldn't penetrate   
Cye's gloom. In an attempt to lighten his spirits Kento had dragged him out to a   
nightclub.  
  
That had been a disaster in itself. As the fates would have it, (And don't they always?)   
she had been there with her new boyfriend. And it wasn't even the guy she'd been   
kissing last time he'd seen her! He'd lasted all of five seconds inside that place before he   
turned and walked out.  
  
Kento had followed him as soon as he noticed what had made Cye leave in such a hurry.  
"I'm sorry man, I thought a night out would cheer ya up."  
  
Cye had waved him off. "It's alright. You didn't know." He had paused for a moment,   
then took a small box out of his pocket. He didn't know why he'd continued to carry   
it. Wishful thinking he supposed. He handed it to Kento.  
  
"I had meant to give this to her yesterday." Cye had said before Kento had had a chance   
to make a crack about Cye proposing to him. "Now I know I won't be able to. Maybe it   
will give you better luck when you find someone you want to give it to."  
  
Kento had just nodded.  
  
  
"Don't understand  
Don't feel me now  
I will breathe  
For the both of us..."  
  
Cye had come home and thrown himself into his bed. He'd fallen asleep choking on his   
tears some time later that night. It could have been hours, it could have been fifteen   
minutes, he hadn't given a dam. He had sobbed so hard he'd been unable to breath and   
had felt as if his heart were slowly turning to a block of solid ice. He'd prayed that the   
sun wouldn't rise so he wouldn't have to face another day without her. His dreams had   
been fitful; they'd been of her standing on the beach under a start-studded sky.  
  
"Travel the world  
Traverse the skies  
Your home is here  
Within my heart..."  
  
He'd awoken to a terrible headache to the garish light of day. He'd pulled himself out of   
bed and forced himself to take a shower. The water was like a blessed friend, caressing   
his naked and vulnerable body. When he finally stepped out and dried himself off he   
was out of hot water.  
  
He'd dressed in the first cloths he happened to pull out of his closet and shuffled into   
the kitchen. He halfheartedly munched on a cold pop tart, and wound up throwing half   
of it away from disinterest. It just wasn't worth eating that day. He didn't have any   
classes, blissfully. He was supposed to be out on a picnic, a romantic date…He found   
himself flopped on the couch with a book lying open on his chest. He'd gotten through   
the first sentence, and that was it.  
  
"And for the first time  
I feel as though I am reborn  
In my mind  
Recast as child and mystic sage..."  
(Obligatory Sage mention here.)  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to think about something other than her.   
The phone's ringing made him jump so high he toppled off the side of his couch. With a   
groan he picked up the receiver and put it to his ear.  
  
"Moshi. Moshi." He'd said in a dull voice.  
"Cye? What happened?" Sage's voice was instantly concerned.  
"She's gone Sage. I went to her place to surprise her." Cye recounted the tale; now and   
then pausing to choke back a few blistering tears.  
  
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?  
Who wouldn't stand inside your love..."  
  
Sage had done his best to console him over the phone line, and when they'd hung up   
Cye had felt a bit better for pouring his heart out. Not much though. He'd gone out for   
a long walk. He didn't return for hours, and if asked he wouldn't have been able to say   
where he'd been. He just knew that he had been. Somewhere. Earth he assumed, but   
these days he wasn't to sure any more.  
  
It was dark now; the sun had set some time ago. He returned to his apartment and   
found a note had been pushed under his front door. It had been typed up, the only part   
done by hand and been the words, "A Friend," they had been signed with a flourish so   
as to disguise the mark of their maker.  
  
"And for the first time  
I'm telling you how much I need and bleed for  
Your every move and waking sound..."  
  
He'd carried the note to his room. The desk lamp was the only light he'd bothered to   
turn on in the whole apartment. He'd read and re-read the few simple lines on the scrap   
of paper until his head hurt.   
  
"In my time  
I'll wrap my wire around your heart and your mind  
You're mine forever now..."  
  
He didn't know how to deal with this one. It read simply enough:  
  
"You've been hurt, we all hurt. But you, you are different. You are not made to hurt   
this way; you were made to be loved. And who wouldn't love you? Who wouldn't want to   
be loved by you? You always will be loved, never forget that."  
  
That was it. That was all. Somehow he didn't know weather to accept it as a warm   
message, or to crumple the note and toss it away.  
  
"Who wouldn't be the one you love and live for?  
Who wouldn't stand inside your love and die for..."  
  
There was a simple message in the note. He crumpled it in his hand until it was a tight   
paper ball. Tears again began to slide down his face. "How could she?" He asked   
again. Finally, instead of throwing the note into the trash he just dropped it into a   
desk drawer. He watched it roll around for a moment, then slammed the drawer shut. He sighed and   
flicked off the desk lamp. He'd have to get up early tomorrow and go to class. He'd   
have go get up and live his life. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it, but he couldn't   
hide from tomorrow any more than the next guy. In the dark he found the way to his   
bed and curled up on it. He closed his eyes against the new wave of tears.  
  
"Who wouldn't be the one you love?"  



	2. Stand Inside Your Love 2: Let Me Be the ...

Let Me Be the One  
Song fic  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. Do own Pirro and Jezzalyn. Let Me Be the One is by   
Blessed Union of Souls. This is a sequel to Stand Inside Your Love by request.   
  
  
"So you're scared to show your feelings  
Baby I do understand  
Well I don't make a promise I can't keep  
And I vow to be a real good friend…"  
  
She was sitting on the side of her bed her head hanging down with her chin almost   
touching her chest. Through the wall that her bedroom shared with Torrent's she could   
hear Cye talking in his sleep again. Just on the other side of the wall was the head of   
Cye's bed, and over the past few years or so he had lived there she had listened each   
night to him talking his way through various dreams and nightmares.  
  
Tonight wasn't any different. He was again dreaming of Jezzalyn. Always Jezzalyn,   
that cruel bitch who had cheated on him. During the months the two had been dating,   
Pirro had listened to long elaborate fantasies he'd had about her, and in each of them   
he'd told her of his love. Pirro had longed for someone to care for her the way Cye had   
adored that snob, and during several long, cold nights, had found herself crying her   
heart out just from the emotion she'd heard him express.  
  
But tonight it was Jezzalyn again, and a bitter agony in his words. He always spoke his   
heart as he slept. Only now he was speaking Pirro's words, "And who wouldn't love   
you? Who wouldn't want to be loved by you? You always will be loved…" And he   
trailed off, only to cry out, "But I love you! Why Jezz? Why don't you love me?" Pirro   
knew he'd gotten the note she'd sent several days before, and felt her heart wrenched   
out to hear him use her words like that.  
  
"In those big green eyes I see a glow of love  
I just hope I'm the one you're dreaming of…"  
  
Pirro knew she'd never been a good neighbor and introduced herself properly. At first   
she thought he was some strange psychopath when she'd heard him blathering on in his   
sleep about some Tulpa guy, or making death threats toward someone named Sekhmet.   
Throughout the months she realized he was talking in his sleep when he had a one sided   
conversation with some Kento dude about leaving the food alone until he was done   
cooking. Soon she knew him better than she knew herself. She learned about the battle   
with Tulpa, about his life, and about Jezzalyn. She also knew his secrets and his desires,   
and everything he never even told his best friends.  
  
Listening to him like that, and knowing him so deeply, soon caused her to ache talk to   
him, but courage always failed her. Hearing him now, after she'd sent her note, she   
realized she might never have a chance to comfort him again.   
  
"Let me be the one to hold you  
Let me be the one to care  
Let me be the one to light your flame  
Oh baby oh baby  
Let me be the one…"  
  
She stood up and tapped his wall lightly. She heard him stir and grumble something   
about it being too early. She tapped again, right next to where she knew his head would   
be. A moment later she heard him come out of sleep with a start. "Wha…?" He asked   
in a startled voice, trying to get his bearings.  
  
"Cye? Mouri Cye?" She asked softly.  
  
"Huh? Yeah?" He asked. "Kayura? Are you hiding in here somewhere?" He asked, a   
strange tone coming into his voice, one she recognized from his battle dreams.  
  
"No, not Kayura. Just a friend." She said in a hopefully soothing tone. Her stomach   
was in knots; what if he freaked and rejected her? "You were crying out in your sleep,   
and I wanted to make sure you were okay." She said lamely, so as not to sound like a   
freaky stalker person.  
  
"I didn't wake you, did I?" He asked, sounding embarrassed.  
  
"No, I wasn't asleep yet. Cye, I want to tell you something, and it will probably sound   
strange coming through the bedroom wall from someone you hardly know…" Pirro   
trailed off.  
  
"What?" Cye asked, sounding apprehensive.  
  
"I want to tell you that it's okay to get over her. I know how much you loved her, and   
she was a fool to let you go. There are girls out here that would give an arm and a leg to   
talk to you; you can find someone so much better. Someone who loves you back." She   
knew she was going out on a limb.  
  
"How would you know…Wait, are you the one who wrote that note?" He asked.  
  
"Ye…Yes." She said.  
  
"Oh." He answered simply. For several long moments there was silence, then she   
heard him roll over and shuffle the bed sheets around a bit. Then he said in a more   
muffled voice that told her he had wrapped the sheets around himself, "Do you have a   
name?" He asked, sounding like curiosity had over ruled whatever else he had been   
feeling.  
  
"Yes…" She answered. For about an hour the two of them talked. Finally she calmed   
him down from the small scare she'd given him, and they just talked. Eventually he'd   
fallen asleep on her, and she'd then gotten up and gone to bed thinking of how he was   
laying peacefully with only a wall between them.  
  
In his sleep he began talking again, only now he asked, "Mandy, how do you know?"  
  
"We spend all our time together  
We can't stand to sleep alone  
When you say you have to leave for now  
I miss you before you're gone…"  
  
Mandy. That was the name she had given him. Mandy. She couldn't bring herself to   
give him her real name. It was the next night. She was again sitting on the edge of her   
bed listening to him. There were the noises that told her he was getting ready to settle   
down for the night. She could hear him moving around his room as he changed his   
cloths, and climb under the sheets. In her mind she could picture him going through   
this routine, and let the images tumble through her thoughts like stones dropped in a   
pool.  
  
After several moments she heard him whisper, "Mandy?"  
  
"Yes?" She asked.  
  
"I have a question."  
  
Perhaps it was comfort in strangers, or perhaps he just hadn't bothered to go out and   
buy himself a diary, but she soon became his nightly confidant. She didn't know how or   
why exactly, but he trusted her. Soon they were talking every night until late, and she   
would practically have to talk him into going to sleep most nights.  
  
"All along we thought this was absurd (absurd)  
Every moment that we spend goes by too fast  
Darling, Darling take this chance with me  
Cause I have eyes for only you  
Oh baby…"  
  
"Mandy, let me see your face…please…" Cye's voice came to her where she lay in bed.   
He was asleep she knew, he'd been telling her about how Kento had joked that Cye was   
hearing voices and had asked him if his kitchen wall talked too. Half way through a   
sentence he'd nodded off. It wasn't unusual, really. "Mandy, this is crazy, but I…I want   
to meet you." He said softly. "I mean, I want, I want to see you…I think I love you…"   
He'd said in his sleep after months of talking through the wall to each other.  
  
Pirro felt her heart stop beating in her chest. Loved her? He loved her? How could that   
be? He must be mistaken. She began to convince herself that she'd heard wrong until   
she heard his voice through the wall again.  
  
"Mandy please, don't hide from me forever, it's cruel." He said in a stronger voice.  
  
Pirro shook her head. She closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep, ignoring his   
words on the other side of the wall. In her dreams she stood, wind blowing against her   
flawless skin, her auburn hair pulled away from her face. And Cye stood before her,   
reaching for her, calling her beautiful. She leaned foreword and kissed his cheek.  
  
"Let me be the one to love you  
Let me be the one to care  
Let me be the one to light your flame  
Oh Baby, Oh baby…"  
  
Morning came with out any special ado, and Pirro pulled herself out of bed. She   
dressed and readied herself in the best fashion she knew how. She pulled on her kindest   
clothing, the shirt that brought out the color in her eyes. Then she tapped lightly on the   
wall.  
  
"Mandy?" Cye asked groggily. She knew he didn't have class until two, and no work   
till six, so she'd be waking him up.  
  
"Um, Cye? It's about, us I guess. You've asked me a thousand times if we could meet.   
Well, I think I want to, today, if you don't mind." She said softly.  
  
She heard Cye practically jump up on his bed. "Like, today? Like, now?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, like now." She told him. The knot in her stomach from earlier was back. "And   
please, um…I have to tell you before we meet. I've only lied to you about one thing."  
  
She heard the noise of him getting dressed stop. "What's that? You're really a chick,   
right?"  
  
"Yes," She said, almost laughing. "I'm a chick. But my name's not Mandy, it's Pirro."  
  
"Pirro." He repeated.  
  
"Let me be the one to love you  
Let me be the one to care  
Let me be the one to light your flame  
Oh baby Oh baby  
Let me be the one  
For you…"  
  
Pirro stood just inside her door. She heard him walk into the hallway, and stand   
waiting there. She waited until the hall was deserted except for him, and then stepped   
out into the shade of the doorframe.  
  
"Pirro?" He asked her, still unable to see her completely. "Pirro, I know you have   
wanted to keep this relationship on a purely anonymous level, but please, you said   
you'd come meet me today." He said.  
  
She bit her tong and stepped into the light, shutting her door behind her. She looked   
into his eyes and waited for a reaction.  
  
"Don't be scared to show your feelings   
Cause baby I do understand  
And I don't make no promises that I can't keep"  
  
Cye's eyes traveled over the scars that wove a fine webbing over her skin. Fire burns,   
completely covering her face, and neck, and hands…  
  
"Pirro?" He asked. When the girl in front of him nodded, he walked foreword and   
hugged her. "I'm so glad to finally talk to you face to face. Please don't think this too   
foreword of me." He asked her.  
  
She was startled out of words, the words that always came so fluently when the wall   
was between them. She hugged him back, and tears managed to squeeze themselves   
through her scrunched up eyelids. When he released her, he noticed her tears. "What's   
wrong?" He asked.  
  
Pirro could only shake her head for a moment, until her voice returned to her. "I have   
watched you, listened to you talk in your sleep for five years, and you are full with   
this…this eye for beauty. An artists eye, and…"  
  
A swift motion with his hand cut her off. "Mand…er…Pirro, I don't care. You have   
been the one to talk to me through one of the hardest times in my life. If you think I'm   
going to be as materialistic as all that, then I don't think you've been listening to me."   
He told her.  
  
She just looked at him dumbfounded. He, he would say this? To her? He…  
  
"Come on," He said, interrupting her thoughts of denial. "I told you a month ago, that   
when you let me see you I was going to take you to the movies. Now let's go." He   
smiled. She stood there for a moment, then started walking. He looked back over his   
shoulder once to see if she was following, and his oceanic eyes met hers dead on. No   
wavering to look at her scars, or to show he was only being polite. He just looked into   
her eyes.  
  
"And I vow to be the one."  



	3. Stand Inside Your Love 3: 17

17  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: 17 is by the Pumpkins. Don't own Ronins. Do own Pirro. Do own Sasha.   
This is the third part of Stand Inside Your Love, back by popular demand.  
  
  
"17 seconds of compassion…"  
  
"I'm fine, really! It's no big deal!" Pirro half shouted in a choked voice as she swept into   
her apartment. Into the safety of the darkness within her private sanctuary. A home   
with covered windows and no mirrors; it was escape.  
  
Cye was beat red in the face as he followed her into her apartment, assuming she'd   
meant to invite him in. "But Pirro…"  
  
Pirro turned to look at him, cutting him off. In the dimness of the room she appeared   
almost normal. "Cye, I said it doesn't matter. That's why I never leave the apartment. I   
have everything delivered to my door, and I work from home on the computer writing   
stories. I should have known better than to leave…"  
  
"But you did." Cye pointed out. "And I'm sorry for…"  
  
She cut him off again. "Yes. I did. To see you. Don't be sorry…" Her voice softened   
with her last few words as she looked into his eyes.  
  
"17 seconds of peace…"  
  
On the way out of the theater they'd passed a group of people standing around deciding   
what movie to go see. To Pirro's delight, Cye had taken her hand in his as they started   
back to the street. She was so elated, that she couldn't help but smile at the warm   
sunlight she normally shunned.  
  
That was, until she and Cye had drawn close enough to over hear part of what was   
being said by the seven or so business men with their fashion dolls. "Oh my god, how   
did she ever get him? She must seriously be putting out. I wonder how much she paid   
him to appear in public with her..." The girls were chattering among themselves. They   
tittered their little high-pitched giggles as Pirro's face fell.  
  
Cye had been about to say something when Pirro had grabbed him and pulled him   
away from the group. Her actions only caused them to laugh harder, but she acted like   
she hadn't noticed as she had pulled Cye back towards home.  
  
"17 seconds to remember love is the energy  
behind which all is created…"  
  
Pirro came back into the small living room with two drinks. Cye was sitting on the   
floor, looking quite comfortable. Pirro handed him his soda as she sat next to him, being   
fairly daring with how close she sat to him.  
  
Her heart fluttered when he smiled at her as he accepted the drink. There was a   
moment of silence until they started talking again. The moment of uneasiness passed   
and dissipated as they resumed their conversation from before. Eventually though, he   
had to leave for class.  
  
Pirro sat in the dark in front of her computer, typing away at her latest novel. Before she   
knew it the sun was set and the monitor was the only illumination in the apartment.   
  
Hours later there was a light tap on the door. She answered it, and Cye stood there with   
a smile on his face. "I just wanted to stop by before I headed home to see how you were   
doing." He said.  
  
She invited him in and said, "Why wouldn't I be anything but fine?"  
  
He shrugged. "An excuse to see you." He confessed.  
  
Pirro felt herself flush at his words as the two walked into her living room. "I'm   
flattered." She told him with a smile. "I'm glad you came."  
  
The pair sat on the floor, not feeling like using the couch. Cye glanced at her computer   
monitor and smiled. "So, is that the latest tale by the infamous Julie Shudder?" He   
asked her.  
  
Pirro nodded. "I'll autograph you a copy if you want it." She told him jokingly. "It will   
be priceless, I never have book signings, none of my fans have a clue what I look like."  
  
Cye gave her a smile as he glanced from the screen to her, his gaze never once making   
her feel uncomfortable, never once making her think he saw only scars. His gaze   
making her feel…human.  
  
"17 seconds to remember all that is good…"  
  
It was late at night – well, morning would probably be a better term – and Cye was still   
over. They had sat side by side for hours just talking as they always did, only now there   
was no wall to separate them. Finally it seemed Cye would ask the question Pirro had   
been waiting for him to ask all day.  
  
"Pirro, I don't want to pry if you don't want to talk about it, but how did it happen?"   
He asked her.  
  
Her first instinct was to avoid the topic all together and answer with something like,   
"How did I become a writer you mean? I don't know, I just started writing one day and   
decided I liked it." But she knew what he meant.  
  
When he thought she wasn't going to answer he quickly amended, "I mean, if you don't   
want to talk about your scars then…"  
  
She shook her head and silenced him. "No, it's alright." She said as she sighed and let   
her self gaze off into middle distance. "It's been a long time since anyone has ever asked   
me to tell the tale, but not a day goes by that I don't think of it." When he didn't say a   
thing she went on. "I will tell you, since I know you actually care." She finished softly   
as she turned to meaningfully look into his eyes. When he met her gaze with tenderness   
and curiosity she smiled. Oh, it was so good to have a friend.  
  
"17 seconds to forget all your hurt and pain…"  
  
"I was eleven years old." Pirro started. "When I was spending the night at my best   
friends house. We were in her upstairs bedroom, talking till late at night about makeup   
and whether we should start wearing it soon, or boys we liked, and the normal girl   
things for that age." She paused for a moment at the happy memories. "I was vain then   
about my hair, I was proud of it. You see, my name, Pirro, means hair on fire, and as   
you can see by what's left of my hair that it's red. Everyone in my family has had red   
hair, and my parents thought Pirro would be a cute joke to describe my locks."  
  
Again she sighed. "Unfortunately, my name took on a more literal meaning that night."   
She glanced down at the floor. "It must have been around three in the morning by then,   
probably a bit later though, when we both noticed that something in the air didn't smell   
right. We should have run out of the house right then, but instead we talked ourselves   
out of thinking anything was wrong. By the time we realized we were smelling smoke it   
was too late, fire blocked our way down stairs, and it was too far to jump out of the   
window. We raced around the upstairs in our bare feet until it just got too hot, and we   
wound up crouched by the window calling for help, but too choked by smoke to scream   
too loudly."  
  
Pirro trailed off again as the old terror revisited her heart. Cye was now listening   
intently and looking like he didn't dare open his mouth. His presence itself was   
grounding her and keeping her from losing it right then as the scenes played on in her   
mind.  
  
"I still remember how Sasha clung to my hand with all her might, she was so scared.   
When the fire reached us I remember we both moved to escape the flames by jumping   
out the window, but a spark landed on my head, and my hair caught fire before we   
could." Pirro's voice began to intensify as she recounted the last of the tale. "Sasha   
grabbed me and tried to put me out, but her nightgown was ignited in the process."  
  
Pirro bit her tong, and then forced herself to go on. "I think it was then that the firemen   
had reached us, because I remember someone grabbing me and rolling me to put the   
flames out, but then I blacked out. I don't remember anything until I came to in the   
hospital. I remember there being so much pain, and then the doctors let my family see   
me, and everyone was crying. And then…" Pirro felt her voice catch in her throat.   
"They told me that Sasha didn't make it, she died from her burns." Pirro realized she   
was shaking when she finished the sentence. As always, she had slipped into a state of   
almost helplessness when the memories washed over her, just like she had been helpless   
to battle off the flames that had scared her flesh.  
  
"17 seconds of faith…"  
  
For a moment Cye said nothing. She knew he'd have a hard time finding the right thing   
to say – if there even was a "right thing" to say. Yet it wasn't a tense moment, more of   
an absorbing one.  
  
Seventeen heartbeats later she found herself being drawn foreword as Cye whispered,   
"It's okay, sweet Pirro…" He'd looped an arm around her and was cradling her against   
him to calm her down. She gladly accepted his warmth as she rested her head against   
his shoulder. "I know it was hard for you to tell me that…" He said in a soft voice. "But   
it's alright, it's over now. And you're here, with me…"  
  
Pirro noticed the hesitation before he added the "with me" part. It was sweet; no one   
would ever say such a thing to her normally. Being this close to a guy was something   
she'd never experienced before.  
  
"17 seconds to trust you again…"  
  
After a while the subject had changed, and Cye and Pirro went on talking about things   
for hours. Finally, as Cye was telling Pirro about how he'd hoped to get to see a local   
production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Pirro snuggled against his shoulder and   
nodded off.  
  
Well this was a first. Cye had never out lasted Pirro before; she'd never fallen asleep   
before him. Yet there she was, comfortably asleep in his arms. A smile played across his   
lips as he listened to her breathing.  
  
"17 seconds of radiance…"  
  
He didn't care if she was covered in scars; she was adorable as she contentedly   
slumbered. He knew he wouldn't be able to move without waking her, but before he   
could finish deciding whether he wanted to wake her or not his body decided for him as   
he felt himself begin to nod off. He tried to keep his eyes open a bit longer, the screen   
saver from her computer shedding the only dim light in the room. He wanted to   
remember this night.  
  
He found himself thanking whoever up there was listening for sending Pirro into his   
life.  
  
"17 seconds to send a prayer up…"  
  
For just a bit longer Cye kept himself awake, not wanting to let go of the moment. He   
managed to whisper to her sleeping form the words, "I think I love you Pirro." Before   
he fell asleep himself. Then all was bliss.  
  
"17 seconds is all you really need"  



	4. Stand Inside Your Love 4: Ugly

Ugly  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins, Pumpkins wrote the song, do own Pirro and Jezzalyn,   
and that's all I have to say.  
  
  
  
  
"I don't look in the mirror  
I don't like what I see staring back at me…"  
  
Pirro began to wake up when she felt her bed moving under her. It was…breathing?   
What the…?  
  
She slowly made herself focus her foggy mind. Wait, this couldn't be her bed; she was   
sitting up. Groggily she moved her head, her cheek sliding across the warm fabric her   
face was resting on. Further investigation of her immediate surroundings let her know   
that she had her arms around the something that was breathing. Wait a minute…  
  
She forced herself to open her eyes and she found herself lying in Cye's arms. She must   
have fallen asleep while they were talking or something. Before she could relish the   
moment further she noticed what it was that had woken her up; the phone was ringing   
in Cye's apartment. She pulled her head off his chest and blushed to find that they had   
tangled their limbs together in their sleep. Quite an awkward position to be in after only   
seeing each other face to face for one day.  
  
She was about to try to wake him when he opened his eyes under his own power and   
smiled down at her. "Good morning Pirro." He said in a morning-choked voice.  
  
"Good morning to you too…but you better get up, your phone's ringing." She told him   
in a soft voice.  
  
"Everything is clearer  
I'll never see what you see…"  
  
Pirro was starting a pot of coffee when she heard Cye tapping lightly on their adjoining   
bedroom wall. "Yes?" She called.  
  
"Great news! That was Kento on the phone, my good friend I'm always telling you   
about. There's going to be a get together at Mia's, and they want to meet you! Kento   
says that he's heard so much about you over the past few months, but never meeting   
you made him think you might be a ghost or something." Cye joked. He was obviously   
excited to be seeing all his old buddies again. Yet Pirro felt as if someone had just   
punched her in the stomach.  
  
"Pirro? Can you hear me?" Cye asked through the wall when she didn't reply right   
away.  
  
"Yeah…" She answered softly.  
  
"Well, its in three days, can you come?" He asked her hopefully.  
  
Pirro paused for a moment to think it over. "Sure! I'd love to meet these people you've   
been telling me about for the longest time." She said in a cheery voice that wasn't totally   
her own.  
  
"It's not me  
So beautiful and free…"  
  
"We'll meet Kento at his place before the party, then drive to Mia's together." Cye was   
saying as they headed down the road in his car. Over the past few days they had made   
plans together, and although Pirro felt deathly afraid of how his friends would react to   
her, she was drawn into the excitement of Cye's contagious enthusiasm.  
  
Pirro gazed out the windshield, holding on to her seat with a slightly tighter grip than   
most people would. Cye glanced at her as he drove and asked, "What's wrong? Don't   
like driving?"  
  
Pirro blushed. "I rarely ride anywhere by car since I never really leave the apartment,   
I'm just not used to riding at such a high speed." She confessed. It was true enough,   
cars did set her on edge, but her main source of anxiety was still meeting his friends.  
  
Cye smiled at her as he pulled into Kento's driveway. "Here we are." He announced,   
then looked over at her warmly. "Come on." He said in a softer voice, sensing her   
tension.  
  
"I'll never be what you need  
Can't help at all…"  
  
"So what's with you? You look like you tangled with the wrong waffle iron or   
somethin', what happened? Cye never told me you'd be all messed up." Kento asked in   
his usual cocky voice, not really meaning to be insulting. He'd been expecting another   
girl along the lines of Cye's usual girlfriends. Cye had the face to attract girls like   
Jezzalyn, and even if Cye wasn't being biased, his girlfriends were usually – at least in   
looks – similar to the beautiful Jezzalyn.  
  
The scar-covered-one before him instantly looked hurt. "It was an accident when I was   
younger." She said quietly.  
  
Oh. Kento noticed Cye was giving him a warning look to not crack any more jokes   
about Pirro's appearance at that moment.   
  
"Hey, I was just joking with you. It's okay, right?" He asked.  
When Pirro forced a smile, Kento grinned. "Come on, we're gonna be late." He told   
her.  
  
Pirro looked at Cye for a moment. Time seemed to stand still as she debated asking Cye   
to take her home right then and there. Kento's loud voice cut into her thoughts as he   
asked, "You comin'?"  
  
Pirro nodded and followed him to his van with Cye at her side. Kento went against his   
nature long enough to pretend he didn't hear Cye whisper to Pirro, "It'll be okay. You   
don't have to worry, they'll like you."  
  
"I was born so beautiful  
But now I'm ugly…"  
  
"Hey! How'd Sage beat us?" Kento complained grumpily as they pulled in front of the   
manor. Sure enough, Sage's car was parked out front.  
  
"Hey! Fashionably late as always Kento?" Sage shouted to them from the porch as   
Kento and Cye climbed out of the van, Cye turning to hold the door for Pirro.  
  
"Of course! With a fine Lady to boot!" Kento shouted back as he slammed his door   
shut, a large grin spread across his face. Fortunately during the ride over Cye had   
gotten Kento and Pirro talking, and soon Kento seemed to have won Pirro over aside   
from his earlier lack of self-control when it came to what words fell out of his mouth.  
  
"So just who is this mystery girl Cye?" Rowen's voice came from the doorway as he   
stepped outside with Mia to greet the new arrivals. Mia was just smiling quietly as she   
waited for Cye's reaction.  
  
"Everyone, meet Pirro." Cye announced as he held out his hand to help her out of the   
van, even though she didn't need it. He felt like being a gentleman at that moment.  
  
"And I rot in my skin  
As a piece of meat does, every day…"  
  
Pirro had expected the shocked looks on their faces as she came into the light. Mia,   
although she had tried to be discrete in her shock, hadn't been able to keep her hands   
from fluttering up to her throat in surprise.  
  
Sage noticeably shifted his weight, even though he was good at controlling and   
concealing his emotions. Pirro was so used to spotting these things, she picked up on it.  
  
Rowen had opened his mouth to apparently say something, but had stopped before   
making a noise and it took him a moment to close his mouth again.  
  
Pirro noted that all three of them had looked at her, then promptly looked away again so   
as not to offend her. Yet it was their looking at the ground that offended her most. She   
started to feel ashamed, and was again tempted to beg Cye to call the whole thing off.   
She was even prepared to call for a cab so he could stay here and hang with his friends.   
Who was she to begrudge him these people?  
  
"I know I'm nothing…"  
  
Pirro glanced from one to the other of them. Cye broke the tension quickly by saying,   
"Well, aren't you going to at least say hello?"  
  
"Yeah guys, don't be rude or anything!" Kento reprimanded them playfully, but he got   
his point across. All three of them standing on the front porch appeared embarrassed as   
they smiled at Pirro apologetically.  
  
"I know there's nothing I can say  
To change  
The judgment in their ways…"  
  
"I'm sorry Pirro." Mia was the first to apologize. "Please, come in. Ryo's inside starting   
a fire in the fireplace, and White Blaze has apparently taken over the couch." She said   
with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, ever try to get a white tiger off a piece of furniture when he doesn't want to   
move? It ain't easy, let me tell you." Rowen told Pirro with a smile.  
  
"Tiger in the house?" Pirro asked, looking a little uneasy.  
  
"Sure, didn't Cye tell you about White Blaze Pirro?" Sage asked, slightly ribbing Cye in   
the process.  
  
"Sure she knew about him." Cye said almost defensively.  
  
"I just didn't think he'd be in the house…" Pirro said as she hesitantly followed the   
others as they funneled into the house. Pirro had remembered Cye mentioning the tiger   
plenty of times in his sleep, but she still found it hard to believe that this beast would be   
not only in the house, but taking over the furniture.  
  
"I'll never be what you need  
Can't help at all…"  
  
Once in the house they all gathered in the living room where Ryo had a nice blaze going   
and was adding logs to the fire.  
  
"Hey Ryo! Guess whose here!" Rowen called as they entered the room.  
  
"What?" Ryo asked as he turned to look up from his creation.  
  
Pirro was standing behind Cye, in the farthest area of the room from the fireplace. Ryo   
noticed her and smiled awkwardly in her direction. "Hey, what's up?" He asked her.   
  
"Not much." She replied, eyeing the fire. As the others chose places to sit down she   
made her way to the seat farthest from the fire in the room. Cye noticed this as he sat   
next to her but didn't say anything.  
  
Pirro's skin was sensitive to heat, and she was still a bit afraid of the flames. Ryo   
seemed to notice the look she had given the fire, and appeared to feel bad that he had   
built it in the first place, but he sat down near it and smiled at the room anyway.  
  
"My love was so beautiful…"  
  
The room was filled with tension, even though on the outside everyone was happy.   
Pirro did her part to keep the conversation going, but inside she was still nervous.   
After about fifteen minutes Kento blurted out, "So where's the food? I'm starved!"  
  
"Wow, you've been here a full quarter hour before you mentioned food Kento, a new   
record!" Rowen commented. The whole group laughed as Kento puffed himself up and   
acted proud.  
  
On the way to the kitchen, Pirro took the course that kept her as far away from the fire   
as possible. She was trying not to be edgy, but she just couldn't help it. Even though   
these people weren't trying to exclude her, she knew that she just didn't fit in   
completely. They had a deep past that held them together, and she just wasn't a part of   
that…she wasn't a part of their world in so many ways.  
  
Everyone helped themselves to sheet pizza buffet style, and then sat down around the   
table to eat. Pirro was thankful for the excuse of food to not speak as much.  
  
"But now I'm ugly  
Yeah…"  
  
Pirro almost dropped a piece of pizza in her lap when she jumped in surprise at what   
she saw before her. Four figures, three men and one lady, had just appeared out of   
nowhere.  
  
"Hey Sekhmet, Kale, Kayura, Dais. How are you doing?" Ryo asked.  
  
Pirro instantly recognized the names. Cye didn't seem to be surprised by their sudden   
arrival; so she decided it couldn't be that big a deal. Then the warlords spoke. The first   
thing out of Kale's mouth was, "Who the hell is that?" Indicating Pirro.  
  
"She looks like something White Blaze dragged in." Dais muttered under his breath.  
  
That was it. Pirro was through. She knew that with time she'd be able to fit in with the   
others, they were at least making an effort to take her in. But these people? Nu-uh. No.   
Way. She set her pizza down on her plate, stood up, turned around, and walked out of   
the room.  
  
As soon as Kayura saw Pirro leave she turned around and smacked both Dais and Kale.  
  
She just felt like she needed to get out of the house. Run away, just like every other time   
someone commented on her scars. Let them think what they wanted, and get away.   
Always, every day, just get away.  
  
Cye was angry. "What is with you guys today? Why do keep picking on Pirro because   
of her scars?" The other Ronins and Mia fell silent and looked down at their plates. The   
warlords and Kayura shifted uneasily.  
  
"We didn't mean…" Kale started.  
  
"Yeah. Right." Cye said as he stood to follow after Pirro.  
  
"I'm good enough but I don't care…"  
  
Pirro strode towards the road. On second thought she headed into the woods.  
  
"I'm good enough but I'm not there…"  
  
The shade of the forest felt good on her skin. She blinked back any tears that threatened   
to spill over.  
  
"I'm good enough but I don't care…"  
  
She was hurt by the comments of the warlords, but also embarrassed by her own   
actions. She didn't know which was worse.  
  
"The sun is out but I'm not there…"  
  
Why should she even care? She didn't know these people; she didn't have to. She could   
go home and forget about them and live her life.  
  
"I'm good enough but I don't care…"  
  
Cye…That's why she cared. She didn't want to ruin his night, but she felt that her   
actions already had. Guilt bubbled up inside of her and she quickened her pace.  
  
"The sun is out but I'm not there…"  
  
Why did she have to have come? She should have just told Cye that she couldn't make   
it…Then he could have had his party and just come back and told her about it.  
  
"I'm good enough, somewhere…"  
  
She sat down at the base of a large pine tree and leaned back against it's trunk with her   
eyes squeezed shut. She didn't even hear the soft footsteps following her.  
  
"I'm good enough, somewhere…"  
  
"Pirro?" Cye asked tentatively. She jumped slightly at his voice, but didn't open her   
eyes.  
  
"What? Look, I'm sorry for ruining the party…" She started.  
  
"No. You didn't." He said cutting her off. "They shouldn't have said that to you." She   
remained quiet. Finally she heaved a tear heavy sigh that nearly broke his heart. He sat   
next to her and whispered, "Pirro…"  
  
"I don't look in the mirror  
I don't like what I see staring back at me…"  
  
Pirro was pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers and trying to stop her tears.   
"I didn't mean to make such a stir…"  
  
"I told you, it wasn't your fault. Stop thinking that it was." Cye instructed. "They had   
no right to say what they did. I'm sorry you had to meet them if they're going to treat   
you that way…"  
  
"No." Pirro said. "They're your friends. They aren't used to people like me. I don't   
blame them. It happens. It's my life. This is just how people act around me."  
  
"They're good people. They shouldn't act like that."  
  
"Cye, it's okay. They didn't know. Now they do. It's over." Pirro told him, knowing   
she was visibly shaking no matter how much she tried to control it.  
  
Cye was silent for several long moments while Pirro collected herself enough to wipe   
her bitter tears away and look over at him. "I can't help it that I'm this way. They can't   
help it. You can't help it. This is life. This is my life." She said, not realizing she was   
shouting by the end of it.  
  
Cye winced back when she screamed in his face. Realizing what she was saying Pirro   
sat back and just looked at him. He was beautiful, he would never know what it was   
like to be tortured daily because of his face. His perfect face, covering his perfect heart.  
  
Pirro found herself crying again, though this time not because of what they'd said to her,   
but from the wave of emotion she felt at that moment for Cye, but not daring to move or   
speak for fear that her own mouth would betray her.  
  
"Everything is clearer  
I'll never see what you see…"  
  
Cye was watching her closely. Suddenly he could sense a change in her, and instead of   
looking at him with a forced calmness like a mask, she was sitting ridged and practically   
holding her breath as she looked at him. Cye finally got her to meet his eyes, waited a   
moment, then said, "Fine. It's over. We'll let it be if you want to Pirro. If you want to   
we can go home right now. If you want to we can go back to the manner. If you want   
to…we can, we can go to the moon for all I care! Pirro, they are my friends back there,   
and I love them as family, and if they hurt you they're going to feel sorry and apologize.   
I know they will. And if you give them time, like Kento, they will accept you too. But   
for now, it's not them I'm worried about."  
  
Pirro looked down at the dead foliage on the ground as if it were the most interesting   
pattern of shapes she'd ever seen in her life.   
  
"And I rot in my skin  
As a piece of meat does, every day…"  
  
"Pirro…" Cye whispered as he reached out and cupped the side of her face in his hand   
to get her to look back at him. Her eyes flickered up to meat his. "Pirro, I don't care   
what they say. You have been the best thing in my life. You have taught me so many   
things with your words. You, Pirro, you have taken my burdens on as your own and   
carried them with me in the dark, alone, living through a bedroom wall. I don't know   
many people who would do that for someone else unless they had a good reason." He   
told her.  
  
Before Pirro could even part her lips to reply he'd caught her mouth in a kiss that sent   
her mind reeling. Stars were bursting behind Pirro's eyes. Never before had any man   
ever gotten close enough to so much as brush against her if he could help it. This kiss   
filled her with such a longing to be close to him it overpowered her and she found   
herself wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her.  
  
"I know I'm nothing…"  
  
"Um, guys? I think we found 'em." Rowen announced uneasily. He really didn't feel   
like breaking those two up at the moment.  
  
Mia was looking like she might actually cry. She felt so horrible about what had   
happened. Kayura was looking sorry herself, and Dais, Kale, and even Sekhmet were   
hanging back after the tong lashing Kayura had given them.  
  
After a moment Cye and Pirro broke apart when they heard Kento clearing his throat.   
Both of them blushed as they turned their heads to see the entire party standing there   
looking uneasy.  
  
"Hey Pirro," Kento started. "Listen, we're all really sorry…"  
  
"We didn't mean to hurt you like that, we didn't mean…" Ryo continued.  
  
"It's not like we were trying to be cruel or anything…" Rowen cut him off.  
  
Pirro waved them off, again turning her eyes downward to the ground. "Listen. It's   
over now, okay? You didn't know." She insisted. "I didn't mean to…"  
  
Cye cut her off with the wave of his hand. "Don't apologize for ruining the party   
again." He told her. "You didn't."  
  
Pirro nodded and kept silent, even though she still regretted running off. Well, almost   
anyway. That kiss was worth it…  
  
Pirro sighed again and slowly got to her feet with Cye's help. She looked up at the   
others. Kayura walked foreword and said to her, "You haven't ruined anything." She   
said assuringly.  
  
"You know, I heard a rumor that there was ice cream back at the manor." Sage said, his   
way of making a peace offering at that moment.  
  
"REALY?" Kento asked, his mood suddenly lightened completely.  
  
The whole group walked back towards the manor, the tension from earlier seemed to   
have been broken now that the apologies had been made. Cye walked beside Pirro, and   
after several moments he took her hand in his. "Pirro?" He asked tentatively, obviously   
still slightly embarrassed that their 'moment' had been walked in on.  
  
"Yeah?" She asked him in a fairly soft voice so as not to attract the attention of the   
others.  
  
"You sure you're okay?"  
  
"Yes. I'm fine." She answered.  
  
"Because I'm ugly…"  
  
  
  
Authors Note: Please review and tell me what you think. I'm not gonna become a   
better writer because one morning I woke up and found that someone hit me with a   
talent stick. Please give me any ideas as to how I can improve; all your comments are   
greatly appreciated. Thank you.  
  
~Angelica Diablo  



	5. Stand Inside Your Love 5: Love of My Liv...

Love of My Life  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins, Carlos Santana and Dave Matthews wrote the song. Do   
own Pirro. Thank you, and enjoy the show.  
  
  
  
"Where you are  
That's where I wanna be…"  
  
The room of Pirro's apartment was dark. The stars and a tiny sliver of the waxing moon   
outside were straining to squeeze their light into the room through the gauze of her   
window shades. Cye was in his room changing out of his work cloths. Pirro was   
sprawled out on her bead on top of the covers and staring at the ceiling.  
  
It had been a week since the party. Cye had taken her home late because they'd spent a   
while at Kento's just hanging out. For the first half of the ride home Cye had been fairly   
quiet, then he'd brought up the 'incident in the woods back there' as he'd put it.  
  
Pirro felt herself blush, but she turned to look at the side of his face as he talked. "I   
know it was foreword of me, and I'm sorry if…"  
  
Pirro shook her head and put a light hand on his arm. "No, it's okay. Really." She'd   
insisted. Then she'd done something she'd only done when living vicariously through   
her characters in her stories. She leaned foreword and kissed his cheek. He'd smiled   
then, and she knew it was all right.  
  
"And through your eyes  
All the things I wanna see…"  
  
Tonight Cye had promised to take her out. Well, talked her into it actually. He'd   
suggested she go with him to see A Midsummer Night's Dream. She'd learned enough   
from talking to him to know that Shakespeare was one of his passions, and she wanted   
to share it with him. She'd been ready to go for two hours since she'd been having   
writer's block lately and had nothing better to do.  
  
She couldn't wait to go to the theater; this may as well be considered their first date   
together, although they weren't officially a couple just yet. She still liked to think of him   
as her boyfriend even though she wasn't sure he thought of her as his girlfriend.  
  
Boyfriend. She was playing with the word in her mind, rolling it over in her thoughts   
and toying with the possibility of actually saying that she had one. Had a boyfriend.   
Things were sure strange lately.  
  
"And in the night  
You are my dream…"  
  
During the intermission at the theater, the pair had elected to get up and stretch and see   
if they could find a place to get a drink that wouldn't completely rip them off for two   
bottles of water. As soon as they'd each gotten their beverage – Cye insisting on paying   
for her even though she offered to pay herself – they'd stretched their legs in the lobby.  
  
They passed by a group of people who were discussing modern day authors vs. the   
classics like Shakespeare. "How about that Julie Shudder?" One of them said. Pirro   
paused to try and eaves drop on this conversation. Cye was smiling at her when he   
heard her pen name mentioned.  
  
"Shudder's good. I wouldn't be surprised if her works are considered classics by our   
grandchildren." A woman in her thirties mentioned.  
  
"That or her books will be banned like Mark Twain for her explicit language and usage   
of local color." A slightly older man mentioned and the members of the group chuckled.  
  
"I can see the book burnings now." The first woman commented. "And the enraged   
letters to the editor of local newspapers complaining of how Shudder has corrupted   
their children by writing about the truth in life." The others nodded and agreed.  
  
"Much like those burnings of the Harry Potter books. What tom foolery." Another man,   
appearing to be in his late fifties, commented.  
  
Pirro smiled, then motioned to Cye that they should move on and reclaim their seats   
soon as the house lights had just been flickered to call the audience back. Cye nodded   
and followed her back into the house.  
  
"That was interesting." Cye commented.  
  
Pirro smiled and nodded. "I've never gotten to hear what my readers thought about me   
first hand before. I mean, I've read the reviews, but it's not the same." She commented.  
  
Cye smiled and had been about to say something when the house dimmed to black and   
the curtains parted to continue the show.  
  
"You're everything to me…"  
  
The play had gone smoothly, and Pirro had very much enjoyed herself. It had been ages   
since she'd gone to the theater, and she'd forgotten how much she missed it.  
  
On their way out of the theater to the parking lot Cye turned to her randomly and asked,   
"You up for a late night snack?" He asked.  
  
Pirro smiled and nodded. "Sure. Why not?"  
  
"You're the love of my life  
And the breath in my prayers…"  
  
The pair was sitting in a booth at the local Denny's restaurant and each of them was   
eating an ice cream Sunday. The conversation was slowly coming to a stand still, as   
each of them was enjoying the presence of the other more than the small talk.  
  
During the lulls in the conversation Pirro would notice Cye glancing at her over the top   
of his ice cream. She wondered if his mind kept wandering back to the kiss in the woods   
like hers did. They had both been dodging the subject since the car ride home from the   
party. Pirro knew how Cye felt about her, and figured he'd have to know her emotions   
by then, but she still wasn't sure if talking of them was the right thing to do.  
  
Part of her wanted to keep it undercover, it was sweet to hold this thing like a tiny bird   
in her hands, but she knew that soon she'd have to let it out and see what happened.   
Still, this warm silence, this gentle newness, was like a blanket draped over the   
shoulders accompanied by a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter night.  
  
They each paused the present conversation on which Broadway play they would like to   
see best, to take another bite of their melting ice cream. Pirro glanced up only to find   
herself gazing into Cye's eyes. A distant part of her mind was musing that the rest of   
the world had seemed to disappear outside of those oceanic eyes. For the longest of   
moments the two of them had remained unmoving, the sweetness of the moment filling   
Pirro with warmth. Then it ended, they both smiled awkwardly and got back to the   
debate of Ragtime versus RENT.  
  
"Take my hand  
Lead me there…"  
  
They climbed into Cye's car, laughing together over nothing. During the drive home   
they slowly fell silent.  
  
"It's a beautiful star lit night." Cye commented absently after several minutes of warm   
silence.  
  
Pirro nodded. "Yes, it is. There's just a small silver slipper of a moon tonight."  
  
Cye smiled. "The Glass Menagerie." He quoted her reference.  
  
"Yeah, it was a good read. Sad, but a good read." She commented.  
  
"Then let's make a wish on the silver slipper of the moon, and perhaps it will come true   
for us, although it didn't for dear Blue Roses." He suggested.  
  
Pirro chuckled at the small joke at the nickname for one of the characters in The Glass   
Menagerie. Then when she realized he was serious she raised the sparse eyebrows that   
scattered themselves in wide arcs above her eyes. "I stopped making wishes on celestial   
objects a long time ago." She told him.  
  
Cye almost looked hurt. "Why?"  
  
"They never come true for me." She stated simply.  
  
Cye glanced over at her, though in the dark it was hard for Pirro to read his expression.   
"I've never had a problem with that. Perhaps if you make a wish with me then my luck   
will rub off and your wish will come true."  
  
Pirro regarded him for a moment, not sure just what to make of this. He was sounding   
like one of her more love struck characters at the moment. After another moment of   
consideration she decided she'd humor him and play along. "Alright, I'll try it." She   
told him and was pleased to see a small smile play across his lips.  
  
She looked out her window to the slipper of a moon and formulated her wish into   
words carefully. Silently she wished upon the moon, feeling herself quite foolish. When   
she finished she muttered under her breath, "I wish I wish upon a fish that something   
good will come of this."  
  
"What was that?" Cye asked her.  
  
Pirro was really blushing now. "I figured if I was going to do something childish, I'd do   
it how I did when I was a child. 'I wish I wish upon a fish that something good will   
come of this' is something I made up when I was three or so. It was a safe guard against   
having a wish backfire. Like the person who wishes for money, and then a loved one   
dies and they inherit a fortune, that kind of thing."  
  
Cye laughed softly under his breath. "That's cute." He told her.  
  
Pirro was completely embarrassed now. "So why don't you make a wish then?" She   
asked him, trying to get the spotlight off herself.  
  
"I already have." He told her, that same small smile sounding in his voice.  
  
"What I need is you here…"  
  
Back in the hallway of the apartment building Pirro and Cye stood in front of their   
doors. Finally deciding she didn't want the night to end just yet Pirro opened her door   
and invited Cye in for a quick drink.  
  
Smiling, Cye accepted her offer and followed her into the dark room. Pirro had left her   
computer running, and the words "Forever Young" were still dancing across the screen.   
Cye took the coke Pirro handed him and the two of them took seats on the floor to talk.  
  
The lights were left off. Pirro had explained to Cye a few days ago that although bright   
lights didn't hurt her too much, as a rule of thumb she tried to stay out of them when   
she was just at home because her eyes were fairly sensitive. Cye found himself not   
minding the darkness too much with Pirro there to share it with.  
  
"I can't forget when we are one  
From your lips  
The Heavens pour out…"  
  
What may have been a half an hour went by, the cokes had been drained, and the two of   
them had wound up leaning close to each other for body heat. It wasn't really that cold   
in the apartment, but they were both looking for an excuse to be closer to the other. If   
asked, that would have been the reply given by either of them in order to avoid   
embarrassment.  
  
Cye was intently listening to Pirro explain her situation with her latest story. "I just   
can't seem to figure out where to go now. I know where I want my characters to be   
eventually, but I'm not sure how to get there." She told him.  
  
Cye nodded, and took into consideration the plot she'd just laid out for him. "Well,   
what about…" He started, suggesting that she pull one of the characters from earlier in   
the story back into the light.  
  
"I can't forget when we are one  
With you alone I am free…"  
  
Cye paused for a second in the conversation. Somewhere in the building a radio was   
playing. He smiled in the darkness and said, "You hear that?"  
  
Pirro listened for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah…" She said softly.  
  
"That's one of my favorite songs." Cye confessed.  
  
"Every day, every night  
You alone  
You're the love of my life…."  
  
Pirro got up, leaving Cye feeling an emptiness beside him where she had been lounging.   
He watched her in the dim room as she switched her radio on. She skimmed the   
channels for a moment, then found the one that was playing his song.  
  
Cye glanced over at the window, then stood up and opened the blinds so that their   
slipper of a moon was visible shining into the room. He walked to the surprised Pirro   
and took her hands. "May I have this dance M'Lady?" He asked her quietly.  
  
Pirro looked slightly taken aback. "Umm…I don't really know how to dance…" She   
confessed.  
  
Cye smiled warmly at her. "Then I'll teach you. Just follow my lead." He wrapped one   
arm around Pirro's waist, and took her hand in his other. Pirro instinctively placed her   
free hand on Cye's shoulder as he started to take her around the moonlit room.  
  
"Every day, every night  
You alone  
You're the love of my life…."  
  
  
At first Pirro was rather clumsy at it, not fully trusting herself, but after a few missed   
beats she managed to get the hang of the dance. The song stopped, and the next melody   
came on, and Cye just kept dancing with her, taking her around her apartment. That   
song ended too, and Cye and Pirro kept going.  
  
Pirro's breath was taken away as they floated around the rooms in her apartment. She   
had never imagined that dancing could be this fun. After what might have been half an   
hour Pirro had to stop them. Her legs couldn't take much more exertion, her muscles   
never being quite strong. Cye just stood then, and pulled her in his arms against him.  
  
"We go dancing in the moonlight  
With the starlight in your eyes  
We go dancing till the sunrise  
You and me we're gonna dance, dance, dance!"  
  
After a moment of listening to Cye's heartbeat, Pirro noticed he had been playing with   
her hand as he held it, intertwining their fingers and measuring the size of her hand   
against his. The sound of Cye's breathing, his body heat radiating throughout her as she   
leaned against him, mesmerized Pirro. Finally Cye held her hand in his and looked   
down at her.  
  
Instinctively, Pirro looked back up at him and met his eyes. "Pirro," He started. "I have   
something I want to say to you…"  
  
Before he could finish the sentence, the blissful serenity of that moment was rudely   
shattered by the sound of a phone ringing in Cye's apartment. Cye looked annoyed.   
"It's close to three in the morning, who would be calling this late?" He asked.  
  
Pirro sighed, "Whoever it is, it has to be important." She said, aching to know what he   
had been about to say to her.  
  
Cye nodded. "I'll be right back." He told her, then quickly rushed to his apartment to   
answer the phone. Pirro turned her radio off so she could hear what was going on in   
Cye's apartment.  
  
She moved to the wall and pressed her ear against it. From there she could hear Cye   
pick up the phone. After a moment of silence she heard him say in a worried voice,   
"Rowen, where are you?" A pause, then, "Just stay there, I'll come get you." And he   
hung up the phone.  



	6. Stand Inside Your Love 6: Shackled

Shackled  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Do own Pirro. Vertical Horizon wrote the song.  
  
  
  
"For so long my life's been sewn up tight  
Inside your hold  
And it leaves me there  
Without a place to call my own…"  
  
Cye was at Pirro's door. "Pirro, take this. Everyone's phone numbers are in here." He   
handed her an address book. "Tell them that there's been an accident, and they need to   
meet me here." He handed her a scrap of paper with directions on it.   
  
"Cye, what happened?" Pirro asked him, frightened by what could make him act like   
this.  
  
"Rowen's in trouble, and it's something that the others and I have to help him with. Call   
Mia, and the other guys as well." He told her. He paused, as if he wanted to say or do   
something more, then decided against it and instead said, "I have to go help him." He   
turned and left quickly. Pirro shut the door to her apartment and went to her phone.  
  
"I know now what shadows can see  
There's no point in running  
'Less you run with me…"  
  
One by one she called the groggy Ronin and Mia to tell them what Cye had said about   
Rowen and give them instructions on how to get there. Each of them had seemed   
annoyed by getting a phone call that late when they first picked up, but once she'd   
explained to them what had happened they'd become fully awake. Sage had even hung   
up half way through her talking as soon as he'd gotten the place where Rowen was.   
Pirro hadn't been insulted though; she understood this was a crisis for the Ronin   
Warriors, even if Cye hadn't known she knew about the Ronin armors.  
  
Pirro sat in her silent apartment alone. Worry was filling her as she hoped things would   
be okay. Somehow, she knew it wasn't any ordinary accident that Rowen had gotten   
himself into.  
  
"It's half the distance through the open door  
Before you cut me down  
Again…"  
  
Cye drove with determination. His was the closest home to the sight of Rowen's   
accident. Up ahead Cye could see the blinking lights on the remainder of Rowen's   
vehicle.  
  
The car had been totaled when it hit the tree. Rowen had claimed he wasn't hurt badly,   
though Cye couldn't figure out how he'd managed that when he looked at the debris.  
  
Cye pulled over and got out of his car. "ROWEN?" He called. There was no answer.   
That was odd. He walked towards the car calling Rowen's name again, keeping his eyes   
open for his friend. He heard a faint buzzing noise as he got closer. Oh. Shit.  
  
Lying on edge of the road was Rowen's cell phone. Rowen was gone.  
  
"So let me introduce you to the end…"  
  
The others drove up one by one. First Kento, then Ryo, then Sage, and finally Mia. As   
each one pulled up, Cye explained to them why he'd had Pirro call them.  
  
"Rowen called me to say that he'd been in an accident, and figured I was closest and   
could get here quickest. He had been driving along when someone appeared in the   
middle of the road, and he'd crashed when he swerved to avoid her. He said she'd then   
disappeared. When I got here, so had Rowen."  
  
The others looked just as suspicious of the Dynasty's involvement as Cye had been.   
They scoured the surrounding area for any sign of their blue-haired friend, but couldn't   
find much of anything besides the cell phone, and it looked like that had just been   
dropped. There was no sign of struggle.  
  
"Now how could someone take Rowen without any big struggle?" Sage wondered out   
loud. Cye wished he'd had an answer.  
  
"And I feel the cold wind  
Blowing beneath my wings  
It always leads me back to suffering…"  
  
They were back at Mia's place, and Mia was going through all the old files, trying to find   
something to explain to them what had taken Rowen. Nothing was working well at all.   
She couldn't find a thing that would have just shown up in the middle of the road.  
  
The others were pacing around the house, or taking out their frustration in some other   
way. Cye was sitting, worried about his friend, and worried about how he'd left Pirro   
like that. 'I hope she understands and isn't mad at me…' He thought to himself as he   
tried to figure out where Rowen might be.  
  
"But I will soar until the wind whips me down  
Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again…"  
  
Mia came down the stairs. The sun was up by then, and she looked like a wreck. She   
had dark circles under her eyes from stress and lack of sleep. "Nothing." She said.   
"Just came for some coffee, then I'm headin' back up." She explained as she walked   
zombie like into the kitchen.  
  
"So tired now of paying my dues  
I start out strong but then I always lose  
It's half the distance before you leave me behind  
It's such a waste of time…"  
  
"I get the feeling we're missing something." Ryo complained.  
  
"Yeah. Rowen." Sage snapped irritably.   
  
Before Ryo could come back with a biting remark Cye said, "I know what you mean   
Ryo, it's like we're overlooking some detail we missed earlier."  
  
All four of them were silent as they tried to figure it out. None of them could, though   
they were wracking their brains.  
  
"Cause my shackles  
You won't be  
And my rapture  
You won't believe  
And deep inside you will bleed for me…"  
  
It was getting close to noon. Pirro was pacing her apartment, frightened that she hadn't   
heard from Cye yet, or anyone for that matter. The phone rang. Pirro dove for it.  
  
"Moshi Moshi!" She said expectantly. Damn. It was a telemarketer. She hung up, even   
though normally she was polite to those people. She didn't want to tie up the phone line   
in case Cye decided to call. She was going insane.  
  
"So here I slave inside of a broken dream  
Forever holding on to splitting seems…"  
  
It was getting near early evening. Sage had gone up stairs to check on Mia, and when he   
came back he reported that she had fallen asleep with her face on the keyboard and he'd   
put her to bed.  
  
"So take your piece and leave me alone to die  
I don't need you to keep my faith alive…"  
  
Cye decided that Rowen wouldn't be calling, so it was foolish to keep the phone lines   
open any longer. He got up and called Pirro. "Hey, um…I'm with the others at Mia's   
place. Yeah, well…Rowen's out of it right now. Yeah. I probably won't be getting   
home tonight, or until Rowen is all right. He needs all of us right now. Yeah. Alright,   
Good bye Pirro." He said and hung up. That was the hardest thing he'd done in a   
while.  
  
Kento walked into the room and saw Cye staring at the phone. "You really care for her,   
don't you?"  
  
Cye nodded. "I wish I didn't have to lie to her." He said.  
  
There was a crash upstairs. Cye and Kento raced to Mia's room, arriving seconds after   
Sage and Ryo. The window was open, and a nightstand had been kicked over, and Mia   
was sitting up looking around. "What happened?" She asked, startled out of her wits.  
  
There was nothing else out of place in the room, and whatever it had been, seemed to   
have left. It was so strange…  
  
"I know now what trouble can be  
And why it follows me so easily  
It's half the distance through the open door  
Before you shut me down  
Again…"  
  
They were all huddled in the living room, none of them wanting to sleep alone that   
night. They had closed and locked Mia's window, even though she could have sworn   
that it had already been locked.  
  
"Something's going on here…and it's like it's right there in front of us, but we can't see   
it." Mia was complaining.  
  
Cye was having trouble, having been awake for over twenty-four hours strait, and he   
wasn't sure he would be able to take any one on.  
  
"Cye, you look worse off than the rest of us. Go ahead and sleep." Sage said to him.  
  
Cye shook his head, promising to try. He didn't know if he could succeed, but he'd try.  
  
"So let me introduce you to the end…"  
  
Cye quickly came to consciousness as Kento shook him. "Wake up man! Something's   
up!"  
  
Cye opened his eyes to again see that a window that had been locked was open and   
blowing cold air in on the room. A few chairs had been turned over, but that was it.  
  
"What the…?" Cye asked as he gazed around at the confused and frightened faces of   
his friends.  
  
"Cause my shackles  
You won't be  
And my rapture  
You won't believe  
And deep inside you will bleed for me…"  
  
Pirro lay awake on her bed. She was so worried about Cye and the others. She was   
going stir crazy, unable to help out. She was running through her mind the story of   
what had happened to them since Tulpa and the Armors first entered their lives. She   
was looking at the tale with an analytical view, as if it was all a story, trying to guess   
what the author had in mind.  
  
She got up and went to her bookshelves. Something was tugging in the back of her   
mind, though she couldn't figure out just what.  
  
"Though you know you care…"  
  
Cye and the others all jumped when Mia's stereo system suddenly burst into song   
without anyone touching it.  
  
"…And my shackles  
You won't be  
And my rapture  
You won't believe  
And deep inside you will bleed for me…"  
  
They were looking at each other as the strange song played on.  
  
"And my laughter  
You won't hear  
The faster  
I disappear…"  
  
Rowen was kneeling in a graveyard. He was staring with unseeing eyes at a head stone.   
It didn't look like he could bring himself to move, as if he'd been kneeling there for   
hours until his eyes refused to focus on the stone words any longer. The form of the girl   
stood behind him, watching him, waiting for him to move. He didn't.  
  
"And time will turn your eyes to tears."  
  
The group of five glanced at each other as the song drew to a close.  
  
"What was that?" Kento asked.  
  
Mia jumped up. "A clue! I think I'm getting an idea…"  



	7. Stand Inside Your Love 7: The Crying Tre...

The Crying Tree of Mercury  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Edgar Allen   
Poe wrote the poetry. Do own Pirro. Do own Kaiya. Don't pick on me. Thank you.  
  
  
  
  
"This is the song  
I've been singing my whole life…"  
  
The four remaining Ronins and Mia were sitting in the living room when the taxi drove   
up to the manor. They looked at each other in mixed states of confusion as they stood to   
see who it was.  
  
The vague hope that it was Rowen come home to them was in the back of all their minds   
as they rushed out the front door, not even bothering with pulling on shoes in their   
haste. The noontime sun beat warm on them as they waited expectantly for the form   
inside the vehicle to pay the cabbie, grab a book bag on the seat next to it, open the door,   
and step out.  
  
"I've been waiting like a knife…"  
  
"PIRRO?" They all asked at the same time, shock obvious on their faces. Cye's face the   
most of all.  
  
"Why did you come here?" He asked her as he rushed foreword to greet her, unsure   
that this was the safest place for her to be at the moment.  
  
"I have a confession to make, and I have a gift for you." She said in one breath. Cye   
could tell by the way she was squinting her eyes that they were hurting her. Before she   
could say any more he had taken her and the others back inside.  
  
When everyone had settled down in various stages of expectancy around the room Pirro   
decided it was time to reveal knowledge.  
  
"To cut open your heart…"  
  
The small navy cloth-bound book lay open in her lap, the ribbon she'd been using to   
mark the pages was flopped over he knees. She could tell from the look in their eyes   
they were seriously wondering where she was going with this. She took a deep breath   
and recited the words from the poem she knew so well.  
  
"Alone, By Edger Allen Poe." She began. The others exchanged looks of uncertainty.  
  
"From childhood's hour I have not been  
As others were – I have not seen  
As others saw – I could not bring  
My passions from a common spring –   
From the same source I have not taken  
My sorrow – I could not awaken  
My heart to joy at the same tone –  
And all I lov'd – I lov'd alone –  
Then – in my childhood – in the dawn  
Of a most stormy life – was drawn  
From ev'ry depth of good and ill  
The mystery which binds me still –  
From the torrent, or the fountain –  
From the red cliff of the mountain –  
From the sun that 'round me roll'd  
In its autumn tint of gold –  
From the lightning in the sky  
As it pass'd me flying by –  
From the thunder, and the storm –  
And the cloud that took the form  
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)  
Of a demon in my view"  
  
  
"And bleed my soul to you…"  
  
  
They were silent, dumbfounded before her. Most of them had been giving her odd   
looks when she had begun reading as if to say that they didn't think they should be   
wasting time reading poetry when they should be searching for Rowen, but the second   
she'd said the word "torrent" they sat up and took notice.  
  
The poem spelled out their story in prose. How…? The look in Pirro's eyes told them   
she'd known what she was doing when she'd chosen that poem to read to them. The   
only one who didn't seem utterly dumbfounded that she knew this was Sage, though   
lines of confusion were spread across his face as well.  
  
After a long moment of silence Cye spoke up, "Pirro, I've never told you about the   
armors. Who, what are you?" He refused to believe that she was somehow part of the   
dynasty. He refused to believe she was evil…yet how did she know about the armors?  
  
Pirro sighed. "The same way I knew about Jezzalyn. At night I can hear you talking in   
your sleep through the wall." She said softly. "I've known for a while, I just…"  
  
"Never told me." Cye finished for her, hurt that she'd lie to him. Well, not outright, but   
he still felt deceived.  
  
"This is the sound  
I've been making my whole life…"  
  
"Alright, so you know about the armors." Sage interrupted what looked like it might   
become a lover's quarrel. "Why did you come here?" He asked, changing the subject.  
  
To this, Pirro had a less ready answer. The best way she could describe what she'd felt   
was that the book had told her to come here and read that poem. Beyond that, she'd   
assumed things would play out as they should once she'd gotten there. She knew she   
had hit a roadblock. She did the only thing she could think of and held the book out for   
one of the others to take.  
  
Before Cye – who had been sitting closest to her – could take the book, it dropped from   
her hand. She didn't know why and mentally cursed herself for being clumsy. Yet   
when she looked down, she knew why that had happened. The book was lying open to   
a different poem.  
  
"Annabelle Lee." Mia said as she peered at the exposed pages.  
  
"It was many and many a year ago,   
In a kingdom by the sea,   
That a maiden there lived whom you may know   
By the name of Annabel Lee;--   
And this maiden she lived with no other thought   
Than to love and be loved by me.   
I was a child and she was a child,   
In this kingdom by the sea;   
But we loved with a love that was more than love--   
I and my Annabel Lee--   
With a love that the wingéd seraphs in Heaven   
Coveted her and me.   
And this was the reason that, long ago,   
In this kingdom by the sea,   
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling   
My beautiful Annabel Lee;   
So that her high-born kinsmen came   
And bore her away from me,   
To shut her up in a sepulchre,   
In this kingdom by the sea.   
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,   
Went envying her and me--   
Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,   
In this kingdom by the sea)   
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,   
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.   
But our love it was stronger by far than the love   
Of those who were older than we--   
Of many far wiser than we--   
And neither the angels in Heaven above,   
Nor the demons down under the sea,   
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul   
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--   
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams   
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;   
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes   
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--   
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side   
Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride,   
In her sepulchre there by the sea—  
In her tomb by the sounding sea"  
  
When she finished speaking, Mia seemed to have a clearer understanding of what was   
going on.  
  
"I've been waiting for this night  
To clear up all the talk…"  
  
Mia was rushing through the house, pulling on a coat and shoes, and instructing the   
others to do the same.  
  
"Wait, hold up Mia." Sage said. "Just what have you figured out."  
  
"We are dealing with a ghost." She said simply as she pulled on a sneaker while   
standing on one foot.  
  
"Ghost?" The others asked in unison.  
  
"Yes." She said simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Although I'm selfish to a fault  
Is it selfish, it's you I want…"  
  
They were all crammed in the back of Mia's tiny jeep – as they all somehow manage to   
be, though it's always boggled peoples minds how that many people could fit in that   
tiny space – with Ryo riding shotgun. "So you see," Mia was saying, "All this has been a   
clue that we will find Rowen in the cemetery by the sea."  
  
Sage and Ryo were nodding their heads as if it made sense to them, Pirro was sitting   
back in quiet contemplation, Cye looked like he was absorbing this in stride, while still   
contemplating Pirro's previous revelations, and Kento looked mildly confused.  
  
"I see how the ghost theory explains the things getting knocked over, but how did you   
get that out of what's happened?" Kento asked.  
  
"Well, I'd already been suspecting it was some kind of spirit when it kept knocking over   
furniture," Mia explained as if she were talking to one of her students. "And the poem   
just confirmed my theory about finding something at the graveyard by the sea." She   
said as if were perfectly logical.  
  
"You,  
I did it all for you…"  
  
Silence had fallen on the occupants of the jeep as they pulled into the hallowed ground.   
Mia parked the jeep and they climbed out to begin the search for any sign of their   
vanished friend.  
  
"This love  
Will stand as long as you  
There's really no excuse…"  
  
Rowen was slumped foreword on the ground in front of the headstone. Something was   
stirring within him, telling him to wake up. Slowly he pulled himself out of his groggy   
stupor. He was cold, even though the now descending sun was still warming the air.  
  
Things weren't making sense as he pulled himself back into a sitting position. Where   
was he? His head was pounding as if he'd had a hangover, but he doubted he'd been   
drinking. His fogy mind seemed to clear when he noticed the name on the headstone in   
front of him. Everything seemed to make sense now. He remembered now.  
  
"Kaiya." He whispered to the breeze.  
  
"I did it all for you…"  
  
The movements of the others caught Rowen's attention, though at first he didn't know   
what to make of it. He made a noise in the back of his throat as he debated calling to   
them, but it seemed enough for Ryo to pick up on his location.  
  
"He's here. He's in the new section." Ryo said. "The new, children's section." The   
others seemed to become reserved as they entered the plot for graves of those kids who   
had died over the years. It was called the children's section, though there were people   
up to eighteen buried there. They made their way through the head markers quietly.  
  
Pirro was hanging back throughout all of this, knowing that when things were settled a   
good long talk with Cye was in order. It frightened her a bit that she may have betrayed   
him in not telling him what she had known, but what could she have done?  
  
She noticed that Cye continued to glance at her out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't   
say anything to her in front of the others, as some conversations were best left to the   
privacy of their apartments.  
  
"These are the tears  
I've been crying my whole life…"  
  
Sage was the first to spot Rowen's form where he was huddling on the ground. En mass   
they rushed to his side, all with a thousand questions being barely suppressed by the   
knowledge that Rowen may not be up to talking at the moment.  
  
Pirro stood back as the other five crowded Rowen. Sage helped him to his feet as the   
others stood around him protectively, but Rowen didn't seem to want to leave the grave.  
  
"Come on Rowen, let's go." Kento urged. "Dinner's waiting."  
  
Rowen was still procrastinating. "I can't believe it." He was saying.  
  
"Believe what?" Sage asked, his arm around Rowen's shoulders.  
  
"Kaiya, Sage…Do you remember her?" Rowen's voice seemed like a soft plea for   
understanding.  
  
Sage nodded. "Yeah, that girl you dated years ago…"  
  
"She's…"  
  
Sage didn't need Rowen to finish the sentence. He'd read the name on the gravestone.   
The date of death was familiar too. "She died when the dynasty attacked." Sage stated   
in a cold voice.  
  
Rowen just nodded.  
  
"Like an ocean of desire…"  
  
"We're getting you out of here and cleaned up. You're covered in mud." Sage was   
telling Rowen as he again started to try to haul Rowen along to Mia's jeep. Still, Rowen   
didn't seem to want to go.  
  
His eyes were focused ahead of him, though the others couldn't seem to be able to tell   
what he was looking at. None of them that is, except Pirro.  
  
Pirro was studying the form intently. A young girl, fairly attractive, shoulder length   
black hair with soft green eyes. She was staring at Rowen as if he was the only man on   
earth. "I assume you're Kaiya?" Pirro didn't care that Cye, Sage, Ryo, Kento, and Mia   
were giving her the strangest looks.  
  
"Yes, that's her." Rowen was answering for the spirit that was before them. "Though   
she's surprised you can see her too."  
  
"I'm reaching thru the noise  
Across the dusk of time…"  
  
Kaiya approached them, though it was impossible to tell if she was walking or simply   
floating. Perhaps it was a mixture of both, Pirro didn't know. At any rate, the girl's   
image before her didn't look happy with the Ronins. Kaiya was angry, and sad, and   
something else that Pirro couldn't make out in the girls eyes.  
  
"What's going on?" Sage was asking Rowen, giving his friend a hearty shake.  
  
Rowen blinked, then said, "She called us…"  
  
"Within the lilting lies…"  
  
"Rowen, stay with us now…" Kento warned.  
  
"Yeah, we don't need you running off with some ghost chic." Cye added.  
  
Rowen shook his head. "Something's wrong…she shouldn't be here…"  
  
Pirro nodded. She stepped towards Kaiya. "I think I know what can help."  
  
Kaiya looked down at Pirro for a moment, then placed a hand on Pirro's shoulder. As   
the others watched, Pirro's form crumpled to the ground. Cye was at her side in an   
instant, trying to revive her. Pirro wouldn't move.  
  
"I am singing out to you"  



	8. Stand Inside Your Love 8: The Everlastin...

The Everlasting Gaze  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro.   
Do own Kaiya. Do own Sasha. Do like reviews. Thank you.  
  
  
  
"You know I'm not dead…"  
  
The others were crowded around Cye where he held Pirro's body carefully. "Come on   
Pirro, wake up! Come on!" Cye was practically begging her. He gave her a bit of a   
shake, trying to get her to open her eyes.  
  
Slowly, the green eyes flittered open, shut tight against the light, and then opened again   
to gaze up. Gaze up not at Cye, but at Rowen.  
  
At first Cye didn't notice, and just hugged her in his excitement that she was awake. She   
pushed Cye away and sat up, not taking her eyes off of Rowen. Startled, Cye turned her   
to look at him. Her body turned, but her eyes remained fixed upon the archer.  
  
"Pirro?" He asked. She didn't respond in any way. "Pirro, why are your eyes green?   
Normally they're brown…" Cye's voice trailed off. He already knew the answer to that   
one. He was no longer speaking to Pirro.  
  
"Now you know where I've been…"  
  
"Kaiya…" Rowen's voice was filled with something that not even Cye could place.   
"You're family never told my you'd died…"  
  
Kaiya stood, shrugging off Cye's arms. Cye stood as well and stepped back, he hadn't   
even realized he was still holding her. 'Where's Pirro…?' Cye was wondering   
frantically, but knew better than to say anything at the moment.  
  
Rowen looked like he wasn't sure how to react. He was still dazed. "Kaiya?" He asked.  
  
Kaiya advanced on Rowen, a hard look in her eyes.  
  
"As you sleep  
Torn I am…"  
  
"You bastard!" Came the hiss in a voice that wasn't quite Pirro's, followed by a hard   
slap. Rowen held his cheek, more in shock that she'd actually hit him than from the slap   
itself.  
  
"What was that for?" Rowen asked.  
  
By this time Sage had stepped in as the others prepared to do likewise. He placed a   
hand on Kaiya's shoulder to hold her back from hitting his friend again. "Alright Kaiya,   
just back off…" Sage began in an attempt to diffuse the situation and be calm and   
rational about this.  
  
That's when Kaiya finally removed her gaze from Rowen. She snapped her head   
around to look Sage directly in the eye. Although there was hair shielding one eye, Sage   
had the feeling that Kaiya was looking him in both eyes anyway. The thought sent chills   
down Sage's spine. Still, he wasn't going to back down. "Why are you here Kaiya?"   
Sage asked.  
  
"Weighted down  
Patiently  
Born of love…"  
  
  
"You." Kaiya hissed again in that strange mutation of Pirro's voice. Somehow it was   
obvious to those who heard her that she didn't mean 'you' specifically as in just Sage,   
but 'you' in general. All of them. Kaiya growled angrily, and Sage dropped his hand.  
  
"Kaiya?" Mia asked tentatively. "Um, what did we do?"  
  
"It's what you didn't do." Kaiya stated in a biting voice that was full of ice. Apparently   
Kaiya thought it was obvious why she was there.  
  
"You know I'm not dead…"  
  
The faces of the five warriors and Mia were in a state of shock when Kaiya finished   
spelling it out for them. When the Dynasty attacked she had been standing next to a   
store window that exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere. In her confusion – not   
realizing the flying glass had killed her – she had continued running with the masses of   
people.  
  
Something had gone terribly wrong then, it must have been the influence of the   
Dynasty. She couldn't explain to them in any terms they would understand, but she had   
found herself caught in some strange sort of limbo. No matter what she did, she   
couldn't go on. She was trapped between the worlds – closer to the mortal plane, yet   
not quite touching it. She had missed the gateway that opened when her body died.  
  
Then her eyes narrowed. "You are the ones who were supposed to keep this from   
happening. You were supposed to protect us."  
  
"Us?" Came the mutual reply.  
  
"All who died because you didn't do your job fast enough." She told them with glaciers   
in her voice.  
  
"I'm just waiting in my head…"  
  
Cye was visibly starting to shake. This strange parody of Pirro's voice was really   
starting to wear on his nerves. He wasn't sure what to make of Kaiya's story, or what to   
do about it, but he knew if he ever wanted to speak to Pirro again he'd have to find   
some way to appease Kaiya.  
  
Yet it didn't look like he'd have to speak yet, as Kaiya had again turned her attention to   
Rowen. In Pirro's body, Kaiya reached for Rowen and cupped his face in her hand.   
"Dear sweet Rowen…" She crooned, causing Cye to grit his teeth as his stomach   
churned.   
  
"Forever waiting  
On the ways of your desire  
You always find a way…"  
  
Rowen had finally composed himself enough to shove Kaiya away after she pulled him   
into a rough embrace. Rowen looked rather abashed, and Kaiya looked quite pleased   
with herself. "Ah Rowen, I can live again." She told him.  
  
"No." Cye told her, finally finding his voice.  
  
"Why ever not? Oh, I see…" Kaiya said in an almost taunting voice. "You love,   
whoever she is." Kaiya indicated the 'she' was Pirro by pointing at herself.  
  
"Where is she?" Cye asked in a dangerously calm voice.  
  
"Floating around here somewhere I'm sure. Oh don't worry, she can't hear you. She's   
to busy trying to find out what I'm up to." Kaiya pouted then. "I don't see why it really   
matters to you. She will go where she's supposed to in time, and when this body dies I   
should be able to find the right path, barring another invasion you fail to put an end to."  
  
Ouch.  
  
"Hey, we fought off the Dynasty, we did what we could. We defeated Tulpa, we tried to   
save everyone we could." Ryo growled, not liking to have salt rubbed into old wounds.  
  
"And thru it all  
Into us all you move  
Forgotten touch  
Forbidden thought  
We can never have enough…"  
  
How to appease Kaiya; the thought of the day. They had finally managed to keep Ryo   
from pounding Kaiya into the ground when Rowen's high-strung yelp of surprise made   
them all turn to see the ex-Warlords and Kayura were standing there.  
  
"Problems?" Kale asked, stating the obvious.  
  
"What's wrong with Pirro?" Dais asked, not wanting to invoke the wrath of Kayura   
again.  
  
"She's possessed." Kento said. "By Rowen's old flame."  
  
Kaiya turned to face the newcomers, her eyes blazing with malice for those who hadn't   
protected her from her wandering fate. When she spotted the warlords, something   
changed in her face. "And you…" She growled in such a way that all of them – even   
Kayura – took a step back.  
  
"You know I'm not dead…"  
  
For who knows what reason, Kaiya's eyes locked on Dais first. "You sick bastard…" She   
growled. "You helped kill me."  
  
Dais obviously had no ready comeback to that one. He and the others just looked at   
Kaiya as if they couldn't find words to make up for what was taken from her. It was   
true, in a way, each of them had attributed to her death. She did have a bone to pick   
with all of them.  
  
"Found below  
The creatures scream  
Stranglehold  
A god machine…"  
  
Silence so thick with tension it was almost visible had settled around them. Kaiya had   
glared in a circle around at all of them. Even Mia couldn't escape the piercing gaze. Cye   
was running on frazzled nerves. He'd had barely two hours of sleep in the past 48   
hours, and he really wanted to get this over with.  
  
"Kaiya, leave Pirro alone." He finally said. "Your battle is with us, not her."  
  
Kaiya regarded Cye again. "Hmm…an interesting suggestion, yet not one that's really   
worth my while."  
  
Cye took a step closer to Kaiya. "Give Pirro back. I'm sure there's another way to get   
you to a gateway so you can go on…"  
  
"THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!" Kaiya snapped, causing several of the others to jump   
slightly at her voice. All of them were fairly skittish at the moment, some more so than   
others.  
  
"Begging to  
Tear us out  
Worn as hope…"  
  
"Isn't there?" Came the familiar voice. The owner of the voice wasn't yet visible, but in   
an instant everyone present save for Kaiya seemed to recognize it.  
  
"Anubis." Ryo said under his breath. The others all bowed their heads respectfully for   
their departed friend.  
  
"Yes, hello again Wildfire. And all of you, greetings my friends." He said in his soft,   
gravely voice. "Torrent, do not fret for your friend, she's here with me." Anubis added.  
  
Cye couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips. He had been so worried that   
something would happen to Pirro while she was floating in the strange limbo, that he   
had feared never seeing her again.  
  
"You know I'm not dead  
I'm just the tears inside your head…"  
  
Kaiya wasn't happy with this new development. Something wasn't right here, she knew   
it. She knew she was about to lose her new body. She glared around, searching for the   
owner of the phantom voice. "Show yourself!" She called out to Anubis.  
  
"Kaiya, your name means forgiveness…" Anubis told her softly.  
  
"What of it?" Kaiya asked him.  
  
"Surely you must see that no one here murdered you directly, and all are sorry for your   
fate." His whispery voice pointed out.  
  
"Forever waiting  
On the ways of your desire  
You always find a way  
And thru it all into us all you move…"  
  
"Yeah Kaiya, we didn't mean to hurt ya! We just wanted to help everyone, we couldn't   
do everything all at once." Kento said.  
  
"Yeah, we're only human." Rowen pointed out, finally regaining most of his   
composure.  
  
Kaiya was watching them all like a hawk. They had no idea what she had gone through.   
She wanted them to know the pain of being unable to comfort her grieving family…to   
watch as her family was corralled along with the rest of the innocents by the Dynasty,   
and forced to suffer just to feed the Dynasty with their pain. No, these people could not   
possibly understand. Never could they watch as their families forgot how they had   
died, and grieved even more for lack of knowing who or what had caused their   
mysterious death. No, they could not know. She convinced herself to not give up.  
  
"Kaiya," The voice of Anubis spoke again. "If you are to be trapped in that body, would   
it not be prudent to not make enemies with every person you came across?"  
  
"Shut up." Kaiya snapped. "The more enemies I have, the faster I die, and the sooner I   
find peace."  
  
At this, Cye again stirred uneasily, not liking this talk of killing Pirro.  
  
"Forgotten touch  
Forbidden thought  
We can never have enough…"  
  
"Death did not bring you peace the first time Kaiya, why would it help if your second   
death also caused the murder of an innocent?" Anubis pointed out.  
  
Kaiya was glairing, not liking the fact that Anubis was right on that point. She knew   
that the only one there that had nothing to do with any of this was the one whose body   
she'd stolen. The girl had sensed that Kaiya had needed a body to communicate, and to   
find a way to the gateway out of the torturous limbo, and she had offered her body   
willingly, trustingly. That, if nothing else, wore on Kaiya's conscience.  
  
Damn it no! She refused to be won over! It wasn't going to happen! How dare these   
people presume to try to take from her her ticket out of there? How dare they try to   
saddle her with guilt, when it was they who were the guilty ones!  
  
This was enraging!  
  
"You know I'm not dead…"  
  
The look of utter contempt in Pirro's narrowed eyes sent such a sickening shiver down   
Cye's spine that he actually felt like recoiling. He had to continue repeating to himself   
that this was not Pirro, but Kaiya. Kaiya. Kaiya. Not Pirro.  
  
He couldn't stand to think that he had to wait for some crazy dead chick that was bent   
and determined to crush him with guilt to decide to get over it for him to be able to have   
Pirro back. Kaiya was looking Cye dead on, wondering why his face wasn't crumpled   
completely with guilt. Oh yes, guilt was there, but so was something else, and it was   
obvious that Cye had more serious attraction to the one whose body she was in than   
Kaiya originally thought.  
  
No, don't think about the innocent you're killing. Argh! Stop it! She wanted so badly   
to pummel Cye at that moment for reminding her of the innocent, that she could barely   
control herself.  
  
"We all want to hold in the everlasting gaze  
Enchanted in the rapture of his sentimental sway  
But underneath the wheels lie the skulls of every c.o.g.  
The fickle fascination of an everlasting god  
YOU KNOW I'M NOT DEAD…"  
  
For a moment all was swirling black and gray before Kaiya's eyes, then she lunged for   
Cye. In her minds ear she could hear Pirro's shout out an unheard warning to Cye.   
Fortunately, the water Ronin didn't need it. Cye quickly and effortlessly managed to   
pin Kaiya's arms to her side. "Give. Me. Pirro. Back." He said.  
  
Pirro had been floating until the man with red hair showed up. His presence had   
grounded her enough to pay attention to what was going on. She opened her eyes to the   
scene before her just in time to see Kaiya use her body to attack Cye. When she cried out   
the man with red hair made a soothing noise. "It's alright, Torrent can handle himself   
quite well."  
  
Pirro glanced at him then. "Who're you?"  
  
"My name is Anubis." He told her. That was all she needed to know, she'd heard about   
Anubis before. If she had been paying attention to what he was saying to Kaiya and the   
Ronins when he'd fist shown up, she would have caught that already. She turned her   
attention back to those down there.  
  
"Can she be helped?" Pirro asked in reference to Kaiya.  
  
"I'm just living in my head…"  
  
Kaiya was struggling against Cye, but not doing a very good job of it. "Alright, knock it   
off." Ryo growled at the thrashing girl. "Anubis doesn't show up for no reason, now   
listen to what he has to say, or at risk of getting pummeled by Cye I will hurt you."  
  
Kaiya somehow seemed so amused by this prospect she forgot to keep thrashing.  
  
"It's alright Wildfire." Anubis insisted. "She simply doesn't want to know how to   
forgive. She is blinded by her hate. And her fear."  
  
"I fear nothing! The only thing any fear leads to is death, and I welcome it!" Kaiya   
informed him in an almost pleasant voice.  
  
"Yes you do." Anubis stated.  
  
The way his voice seemed to be filled with knowledge he shouldn't have, seemed to get   
to Kaiya somehow. She lifted her eyes to the heavens, and the general vicinity of   
Anubis' voice. "Fine! What are you up to?" She asked him.  
  
"Forever waiting…"  
  
Kaiya was crying. Tears were splattering the ground. Cye still held her, but no longer   
as a captor. Anubis' words had worn her down until Cye couldn't bring himself to   
restrain her. At that point she'd turned and thrown herself on him, sobbing on his   
shoulder. When he'd finally pried her arms from his neck – she had been strangling him   
unintentionally – she hadn't been able to support herself and Cye had found himself   
kneeling on the ground with her leaning against him.  
  
As Pirro watched, she smiled. Sure she felt a twinge of jealousy, but at the same time it   
was good to know that Cye wasn't going to be cold hearted to someone who just needed   
someone to lean on. Literally.  
  
"Forever waiting on cruel death…"  
  
"I'm sorry." Kaiya said to the lot of them.  
  
"No. We're sorry." Rowen said to her as he knelt at her side. Kaiya shifted from Cye to   
Rowen; Cye happy enough to let her go, and Rowen happy enough to give her a hug   
now that she wasn't homicidal.  
  
"Yes, we all are." Mia reiterated. The others mumbled their agreements.  
  
"So I guess it's back to hell…" Kaiya said softly. "I can't kill your friend."  
  
"You know I'm not dead  
I'm just living for myself…"  
  
"No." Anubis' voice broke through, startling everyone. "That's why I'm here. Do you   
think I was aloud to return to this place for no reason?"  
  
Kaiya looked up to the sky, able to now see Anubis' outline. He appeared to be holding   
Pirro to keep her from floating away. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Anubis smiled.  
  
"Forever waiting…"  
  
"The gateway has…*always*…been open?" Kaiya asked. Anubis just nodded as Kaiya   
repeated his words. "Why couldn't I leave?"  
  
"You were so convinced that you had missed it you never looked for it. Instead you   
decided to seek revenge on the Ronin."  
  
Oh. Kaiya looked up at the sky. The first stars were beginning to appear on the horizon   
and the sunset was slowly starting to fade away. Kaiya was kneeling between Rowen   
and Cye, and bracing against them both. Pirro's body was beginning to weaken from all   
the stress. It was already weak to begin with anyway, and attacking Cye earlier hadn't   
really helped matters.  
  
Anubis settled down beside them, holding Pirro out to her body. Kaiya looked at   
Rowen. "Tell my family what happened to me, that I was injured when the window of a   
store front exploded. Tell them it was in an earthquake, and they can stop looking for   
my murderer." Rowen nodded. She sighed then, and her body collapsed into the arms   
of both Rowen and Cye.  
  
Anubis smiled as he moved Pirro towards her body. In spirit she had no scars, and for a   
moment Cye glimpsed her, as she would have been had she and Sasha run when they   
first smelled the smoke.  
  
"You know I'm not dead"  
  
Pirro slowly opened her eyes; glad that it was twilight, as she was sure she wouldn't   
have been able to get her eyes to focus any other way. She was groggy, her whole body   
ached, and she could smell Cye next to her.  
  
She gazed at his face with warm brown eyes. After all she'd seen that day, on top of all   
she'd known before, she knew in her heart that one thing was for certain. "I love you."   
She told him, then promptly passed out into a mild sleep. For that day, Pirro's job was   
done.  



	9. Stand Inside Your Love 9: Secrets

Secrets  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Cure wrote the song. Do own Pirro. Do like cheese,   
but you don't care.  
  
  
"Secrets  
Share with another girl…"  
  
Cye was in the back of Kento's van with Pirro's head in his lap. He had lain her down   
on the seat, not wanting to wake her. He cradled her head gently in his hands, gazing at   
her face. Her confession of love had caught him off guard, but it hadn't completely   
thrown him. He should have realized that she loved him too.  
  
"Talking all night in a room  
All night…"  
  
Pirro Slowly opened her eyes, her head pounding. She remembered passing out, but not   
much before that. There wasn't much light in the room, but what there was hurt her   
eyes and she quickly scrunched them closed again. She could hear someone breathing   
in the room with her. Lifting a hand to see if she could find who it was, she felt the   
sleeve of her nightgown slip down on her arm. Wait a minute, nightgown? How'd she   
get in a nightgown?  
  
Noticing she was awake, Cye said softly. "Mia put you in your nightgown for me before   
I put you to bed." He explained. "I didn't want you to be uncomfortable." He blushed   
as Pirro laughed softly.  
  
"It's good to know you're a decent man." She said with a soft smile, still not opening   
her eyes. "Did you get the license of the bullet train that hit me?"  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah, the driver was complaining because your hard head left a dent in   
his train."  
  
Pirro smiled. "Good. He deserved it." She felt him take her hand in his. She entwined   
their fingers and tried to open her eyes again. When she did, she found him smiling at   
her. Her heart couldn't decide if it wanted to speed up to the rate of a hummingbird, or   
stop beating and lodge itself in her throat.  
  
"Everything slowing down  
I wish I was yours…"  
  
"Pirro, why didn't you just tell me you knew about the armor?" Cye asked her. They   
were sitting side by side on her bed, leaning against the headboard. Pirro was under the   
covers, and he was on top of them.  
  
"How could I? It would sound strange for me to tap on your wall and say, 'Um, excuse   
me? For the past few years I've been listening to you talk in your sleep. I'd like to thank   
you for saving the world with your Armor of Torrent.' Seriously." She paused as he   
chuckled at this. Smiling she turned her head to look at his profile. "Cye, I wanted to   
tell you, but it didn't seem relevant. Then, after a few months…it just would be hard to   
bring up, you know?"  
  
Cye nodded. He turned his head to look her full in the face. "I guess it's just strange to   
think that all this time…what else have I said in my sleep?" He asked, looking like he   
was slightly weirded out by this thought. It was in a way, an invasion of privacy, she   
knew.  
  
"You've told me that you think…" She paused, then when he looked expectantly. She   
couldn't say it. It just wasn't right. "You've told me you think I'm a good friend." She   
finished lamely. She knew it sounded stupid, but at that moment she didn't care. She   
couldn't bring herself to repeat his words. "You talk about your life, things that are   
going on…I knew you were going to propose to Jezzalyn before you did I think." She   
confessed. Cye blushed then, and looked down where their hands rested together   
between them, fingers still interwoven.  
  
"Strangers  
Nobody knows we love…"  
  
It was the next day. Pirro was brushing out her thin hair after a shower when she heard   
the knock on the door. "Who is it?" She called.  
  
"It's me!" Cye's voice came to her, slightly muffled through the door.  
  
Pirro froze. Last night the conversation had left a small hole between them. She hated   
the feeling that she'd betrayed his trust, yet at the same time, what could she have done?   
They hadn't really fought, but a gap had opened between them.  
  
She opened the door a moment later to see that he wore an expressionless face. "Pirro,"   
He said. "Could I ask you something?"  
  
She hesitated, "What?" She hoped he wasn't going to say something about last night's   
conversation. She hated the thought that her knowledge was about to drive a wedge   
between them.  
  
"Would you mind if I escort you to my apartment?" He asked.  
  
Pirro eyed him a moment. "Um, no…hang on a sec, let me put on some decent cloths."  
  
"As you wish. I shale wait in the hall." He told her. Okay…how much sake had he had   
lately?  
  
When she opened the door a moment later she found him standing as if he hadn't   
moved an inch. He waited for her to shut her door behind herself, and then led her to   
his own rooms. He was silent as he opened his door. He waited for her to step into the   
dark room, then closed the door behind the both of them. "Cye? What's going on?"   
She asked.  
  
He was silent, but she heard him flick on a switch behind her. Candles lit the room.   
Electric candles. Their light was dim enough that it didn't hurt her eyes, and yet there   
was no fire. Laid out before her on the living room floor was a picnic blanket, with a   
picnic basket set in the corner. Pirro's eyes were wide with shock.  
  
"Because the last time we got together it was ruined by a phone call. I wanted to make it   
up to you." He said. She turned to see a smile on his face. He had planned this? "Go   
ahead and sit down." He said, ushering her to the blanket.  
  
Once she sat, he pulled sandwiches and other picnic foodstuffs from the basket and   
served them to her.  
  
"I catch your eyes in the dark…"  
  
In the dim room Pirro found herself daring enough to lean against Cye. The last of the   
food had been eaten, and with a full stomach she was beginning to feel drowsy. She   
smiled when Cye's arm went around her as she leaned her head back on his chest.   
"Pirro?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah Cye?"  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, sounding slightly apprehensive.  
  
"What for?" She knotted her eyebrows together.  
  
"For being angry with you for not telling me. I know I didn't show it, but I was angry   
with you. I was hurt that you hadn't trusted me to tell me. Then I realized how I would   
have probably reacted if you had told me. I know it took a lot for you to even speak to   
me in the first place, and then to go meet my friends, and then to come and help us find   
Rowen. Pirro, I'm lucky I have you to stick by me. I don't know why you do. I'm   
surprised you even believed me about the armor when I was talking in my sleep."   
Before she had a chance to answer, Cye went on. "Listen, I don't know if you remember   
saying it, but before you passed out, you told me something. Do you know what that   
was?"  
  
Pirro shook her head no. "I don't remember much. I remember feeling like I was   
floating. Then this dude with red hair showed up, and the next thing I knew I was in   
my body again and I passed out." She said.  
  
Cye rested his cheek against her head, not sure he could tell her what she'd said.  
  
"One look relives the memory…"  
  
"When Anubis returned you to your body I caught a glimpse of your spirit." Cye said   
softly. "I saw what you would look like today without your scars."  
  
For a moment Pirro was silent, then Cye was able to hear the sound of her sniffle back   
tears. "Without…without my scars?" She asked in a tear-choked voice.  
  
"Yes…I thought it was only fair of me to tell you." He said. "Since it seems to be a time   
for confessing."  
  
Pirro turned and buried her face in the front of his shirt. He could feel her hot tears   
soaking the fabric as her arms wrapped around him. She cried openly as he wrapped   
both his arms around her and held her close. "I just wish I could be beautiful…" Pirro   
breathed into his shirt between sobs.  
  
"Remember me  
The way I used to be…"  
  
Cye pressed his lips to her forehead, then bent his head down and whispered in her ear,   
"You already are."  



	10. Stand Inside Your Love 10: Beautiful

Beautiful  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro.   
Can't get this song out of my head…and if you heard it I'm sure you wouldn't be able to   
either!  
  
  
  
"Beautiful  
You're beautiful  
As beautiful as the sun…"  
  
  
Pirro's tear-streaked face slowly turned to gaze up at him. It was obvious by her   
expression she was wondering if she'd heard him right. Emotions were washing   
through her eyes; shock, wonder, disbelief, confusion, and even a bit of fear. Yet she   
didn't back away. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet Cye's, though she couldn't   
see clearly through the blur of tears that were building up and just waiting to spill over.  
  
Cye didn't dare do anything but smile warmly with his eyes to show that he meant it.   
His heart was beating at twice its normal rate as he looked down at her. He wanted to   
say more, but was afraid that she'd reject him. Still, he wanted her to know how he felt.   
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to show her.  
  
"Wonderful  
You're wonderful  
As wonderful as they come…"  
  
Pirro suddenly rushed foreword and wrapped her arms tightly around him again. The   
new wave of tears spilled over as she buried her face in the side of his neck. Finally she   
trusted her voice enough to whisper, "I love you Cye. I've loved you for years. I've   
loved you since I first heard you talk in your cute little accent. I've loved you since I first   
heard you confess your heart in your sleep. I love you!" She told him as she pressed   
herself into him.  
  
"And I can't help but feel attached  
To the feelings I can't even match…"   
  
  
Cye was balled over in emotion. He felt as if the dam had been broken and all the water   
was spilling out everywhere, leaving him helpless to do anything but float along the   
currents and let them take him where they willed.  
  
"Pirro…" His voice was barely more than a whisper.  
  
"With my face pressed up to the glass  
Wanting you…"  
  
"Pirro…" She heard him whisper. She had never heard anyone call her beautiful since   
the accident…well; her mother and father didn't count. She couldn't help but go a bit   
crazy at the thought. He had told her she was beautiful. He was holding her. He   
wasn't letting go. Goddess! He wasn't letting go! Her tears swept down her face, but   
she did nothing to stop them.  
  
"Beautiful  
You're beautiful  
As beautiful as the sky…"  
  
  
Cye leaned his head gently against hers. "I love you too Pirro." He breathed, though he   
was speaking as loud as he could. He paused for a moment, then found his voice again   
and said in a slightly louder voice, "I love you too."  
  
He heard her sharp intake of breath at his words, and smiled when he felt her nuzzling   
against him. She was such a strong woman that he'd always thought of her as being a   
bigger person, but when he held her like this he found she had a small build. For   
several long moments Cye held Pirro as she collected herself. He loved the feel of her in   
his arms. Finally, she was in his arms.  
  
"Wonderful  
It's wonderful  
To know that you're just like I…"  
  
"Pirro, you're shivering…" Cye said softly, as he tried to comfort her.  
  
Pirro nodded. "I love you, I'm just…just…" She whispered. Cye smoothed the back of   
her shirt over with his hand. Pirro gave up on finding the words and collapsed against   
him. She was all cried out at the moment. Cye was making soothing noises in the back   
of his throat as he calmed her with his presence. He didn't dare say anything though; he   
didn't want to spoil anything.  
  
Finally, he felt her shifting her weight. She pulled back away from him slightly, leaving   
his entire front feeling cold with her absence. In the dim light of the room he caught the   
glimmer of her eyes as they searched his out. She was gazing at him, and it sent shivers   
through his body. He wanted to tell her in a thousand words how he felt about her. He   
wanted to tell her that she was the most precious person to have walked into his life,   
and he valued her more than he did himself. He wanted to tell her that he felt his soul   
would explode without her, but he couldn't get his voice to work properly. All he could   
do was caress the side of her face gingerly; as if he were afraid she might break as he   
wiped away her tears.  
  
"And I'm sure you know me well  
As I'm sure you don't  
But you just can't tell  
Who'll you love and who you won't…"  
  
In the look Pirro had given him Cye knew that she was aching inside just like he was.   
Yet now was his time to be silent. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her   
against him gently. She curled up against him, resting her head against his chest.   
"Pirro, I've noticed that you normally let me talk about everything, and I don't talk   
much normally." He confessed. "I want to listen now, tell me about your life. Tell me   
everything." He told her softly.  
  
Pirro gazed up at him. Yes, normally she did have him do most of the talking, mainly   
because living on a computer she never really had much to say that could add to the   
topic at hand. She loved to hear him talk and unburden his mind, and was in love with   
his voice. She couldn't think of what he wanted her to say until he again swept his hand   
over the side of her face, brushing away a lock of hair that had plastered itself to her wet   
cheek and said, "Tell me what they did to hurt you Pirro. Let it all out. I'll hold you, I   
won't leave you." He vowed.  
  
"I love you  
As you love me…"  
  
Pirro curled closer to Cye the way people seem to do, even when they think they're as   
close as they possibly can be. Her eyes unfocused as she began to recount her tale, she   
was lost in the past and had only Cye to hang on to as an anchor in the storm of   
memories.  
  
"I was in so much pain the first few days after the fire. Then it just didn't hurt any more.   
I mean, it hurt all the time, but I guess I got used to the thought of being in constant   
pain. It didn't make it any better, if at all it was made worse. It made me believe that   
the physical pain would never stop. Eventually it did, but that didn't mean all my pain   
stopped.  
  
"My family came to visit me often. My mom and dad did, my mom practically lived in   
the hospital to stay with me, and my dad came in the evening when he wasn't at work.   
He still spoke to me, but I could tell I'd disappointed him. I think I disappointed him   
when I was born that I wasn't a boy, and now that I was ugly I wouldn't be able to find a   
good husband. I know it's old fashioned, but that's how he was.  
  
"My mom seemed to want to believe that as soon as all my bandages were off I'd still   
look the same as I did before the accident. They were both so worried at how I'd look   
that they forgot I'd just lost my best friend. Sasha's mom had made it out of the fire, but   
her younger brother had died, and her father had been out on a business trip at the time.   
He had returned back early and visited me once, but I could tell by the look in his eyes   
he blamed me for Sasha's death as much as I blamed myself.  
  
"Still, I didn't say anything to my parents, they were too worried about everything else.   
I guess they were in as much a state of shock as I was to really stop and think about the   
whole situation. I believed that when I got back to school everything would be fine. I   
was just as delusional.  
  
"It took a long time. Months just to get me moving and walking again. It was close to a   
year and a half before I was attending school on a regular basis, and I had a tutor to help   
me catch up, along with physical therapy, and other such doctor visits." Pirro trailed off   
for a moment to look up into Cye's eyes. He was looking at her with compassion and   
love. He just held her, and waited for her to go on.  
  
"My first day back at school was…hell. I walked into the classroom, I was proud that I   
had done it and would be returning to my studies again. I thought my old friends   
would be proud of me to that I'd managed to make it back to school again…" Tears   
began to well up in Pirro's eyes again. "They all blamed me for killing Sasha. The   
rumor had gotten around school that I'd pushed her into the fire to save myself, and   
none of the kids would look at me. During lunch I sat alone. Outside or after school,   
whenever I passed the kids they'd refuse to turn their eyes my way. That, or they'd call   
me ugly, burn girl, fire baby, and names I refuse to repeat.  
  
"I couldn't escape it. Everywhere I went, every face I'd found friendly before the fire   
had twisted into spiteful masks. Finally my parents agreed that a private home tutor   
would be better than having me coming home in tears everyday and refusing to go to   
school every morning. Every time I left my house people would glair at me, shout   
insults from the other side of the street, or worse, shout insults while pushing me on the   
ground. It was hard for me, I'd had muscle damage and it took me so much longer to   
stand back up then it took most people. I'm better at it now, but I'm still slower than   
you Cye.  
  
"When I finally graduated things were better, my parents agreed that I could have a   
year off schooling to try my hand at writing. They said if I could finish my book, or at   
least have a good start on it then they'd let me try to publish it before going to college."  
  
Pirro stopped talking then. She tightened her hold on Cye and closed her eyes as she   
pressed her face against his now tear-stained shirt.  
  
"So let the clouds roll by your face  
We'll let the world spin on to another place…"  
  
"What happened next?" Cye whispered after Pirro had been silent for several minutes.  
  
"Cye, ever wonder why I never spoke of my parents before?" She asked him softly.  
  
"The thought had crossed my mind, but I never asked for politeness sake." He   
confessed in a tender voice, knowing that this was a hard thing for Pirro to talk about.  
  
"I never went to college. I came strait to this apartment, after I sold my parent's house,   
car, and most of their worldly possessions. I was left with plenty of money after I sold   
everything, especially since I had just published my first book, and had the insurance   
money." Pirro barely whispered. Though her voice had been clear when she started   
talking, her throat was obviously choked up with tears by the time she paused for a   
breath.  
  
Cye was silent, knowing exactly what she was about to tell him.  
  
"They were on the way to pick me up from my physical therapy when the car hit ice and   
went flying off a bridge and into the river." Pirro's voice cracked then and sobs began to   
wrack her body.  
  
"We'll climb the tallest tree above it all  
To look down on you and me and them…"  
  
"It's alright." Cye told her as he did his best to comfort her. "It's alright to cry over the   
death of your parents." Pirro was sobbing uncontrollably against him. A distant part of   
her mind felt bad for ruining his shirt, but the rest of her just gave in to the tears and to   
Cye.  
  
"And I'm sure you know me well  
As I'm sure you don't  
But you just can't tell  
Who you'll love and who you wont…"  
  
When it finally seemed that she would dehydrate if she shed another tear, Pirro lay still   
against him again. Cye could tell by her breathing that she'd calmed down after what   
could have been fifteen minutes of sobbing and pouring her heart out. He could also tell   
that she was still very much awake.  
  
Pirro had buried her face in his muscular chest, and Cye was wondering not just how   
she was doing, but also how she could possibly be breathing. After a long period of   
silence Pirro stirred again. She pulled reluctantly away from him, a deep blush was   
apparent on her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" She said as she furiously swiped at the last tears   
still hanging on her eyelashes.  
  
"What for?" Cye asked her as he handed her a tissue.  
  
"For sobbing all over the front of your shirt…" Pirro said ashamed of her actions. She   
hated crying in front of people. She would have rather taken the insults of her   
childhood all over again instead of cry in front of someone, especially Cye. And what   
had she just done? She discarded the used tissue and was about to turn away with   
another apology when Cye caught her wrists.  
  
"Don't let your life wrap up around you…"  
  
Cye pulled her back towards him. "Pirro, don't be sorry. I think you needed that…" He   
whispered. She came willingly enough and never took her eyes from his. "Pirro, it's   
alright. I can get a new shirt, I can't replace you."  
  
"Don't forget to call, whenever…"  
  
Somehow this strange guy didn't care that she was ugly, didn't care that she had just   
gunked up the front of his shirt with her crying, or that she was in no way worth his   
time. Somehow he was here, asking with his eyes if it was okay for him to comfort her,   
if it was fair of him to ask her to not leave.  
  
"I'll be here  
Just waiting for you…"  
  
Somehow this strange girl didn't see that she was an angel, didn't see that he could   
never be good enough to her, or that he was just another man. Somehow she was here,   
asking with her eyes to not let go of her, if it was okay for her to trust him forever.  
  
"I'll be under your stars forever…"  
  
Cye guided her into his arms, only instead of just holding her, he bent his head down   
and kissed her. He felt her melt into him as her arms wrapped around his neck. For the   
shortest of eternities they were entwined, the desire holding the moment still.  
  
"Neither here nor there  
Just right beside you…"  
  
The pair ended the kiss and for a moment sat there with their eyes closed, their faces   
only millimeters from each other. "I love you Pirro…" Cye breathed against her lips. "I   
always will. You are the most precious person in my life, and I don't want to live   
without you." He confessed, his eyes still closed.  
  
Pirro hadn't moved either. "You, Cye, are the most wonderful man I've ever known. I   
adore you, I love you. I'm not afraid of the sun when I'm with you…" She whispered.   
Oh, his kiss was so sweet, so tender, so much like everything she'd ever wished she   
could have. This was what she'd envied every other woman on the planet for having.  
  
"I'll be under the stars forever…"  
  
Cye placed a delicate hand on the back of Pirro's neck and guided her foreword again   
for another kiss. A soft tender kiss that spoke a thousand words. When this kiss too   
was broken, Cye kissed Pirro's temple as he pulled her against him. By now it was late   
at night, and he knew she was tired from the emotional time she'd just been through.  
  
"Cye…" She whispered, or perhaps she was simply sighing, he didn't know. He lay her   
down on the floor, then reached out and pulled the plug on the electric candles,   
plunging the room into darkness. He lay down beside her and wrapped his arms   
around her, holding her safe. "I love you…" He heard her whisper in her sleep.  
  
He kissed her one last time before burring his face in her soft hair. "I love you too…" He   
whispered against her hair as he dozed off as well, only to repeat the declaration over   
and over again in his dreams throughout the night.  
  
"Neither her nor there  
Just right beside you"  
  



	11. Stand Inside Your Love 11: With Every Li...

With Every Light  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Do own Pirro. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song.  
  
  
"Taking over  
We're taking over  
Throw the weight up off your shoulders now  
That we can show our love…"  
  
It had been only a few days since that night when she had confessed her love to Cye,   
and since then she'd been walking on cloud nine. Whenever he didn't have classes or   
work, Cye would be taking her out for walks, or just to do a bit of sight seeing. For   
living in the city for around a decade, she had seen very little of it.  
  
Today she was going to surprise him though. After learning her way around the city a   
bit, she was going to visit him at work. He had a part time job at a café, and she knew   
that it was one of the more dead times of the day. Clutched in her hand was a small   
book with a spiral binding. Two Orcas swam across the cover, exploring some lost   
sunken city. Inside, the book held her handiwork. She had taken a short time out from   
writing her story to create this gift for him.  
  
She had diligently copied down into this book the poetry she'd written for and about   
him over the years. She had a small section of the book dedicated simply to quotes from   
stories, songs, and just people on the street that had to do with love and the way she felt   
about him. On one page in the middle of the book she'd drawn a heart, and written the   
lyrics to their song around the edge of it. And on the last page, she'd written simply:  
"And who wouldn't love you? Who wouldn't want to   
be loved by you? You always will be loved, never forget that."  
  
Now her hands were shaking as she entered the café and found that he was on break in   
the back. She took a seat and tried to calm herself. She had no experience with men   
outside her stories. She didn't know how Cye would react to such a gift, or if it was   
even a good idea to create such a thing.  
  
The young man behind the counter asked her if she wanted anything, so deciding that   
she had better order, she got a white mocha and hoped that she liked it. While the man   
was making her drink she asked about Cye. As soon as he'd served her he went in the   
back.  
  
Pirro hid the book under the table and looked up at Cye when he emerged from the   
break room a few moments later. A warm smile spread across his face as soon as he   
noticed her, and he slid into the seat across from her, excited just to see her there. "So   
what brings such a fine Lady out here?" He asked her.  
  
"A handsome young prince who has stolen her heart." Pirro answered in the same   
joking tone he'd used with her. That was one thing about them Pirro enjoyed, although   
both of them were joking in tone, both of them meant what they said to each other.  
  
"You've never come out to visit me before, what's the catch?" He asked, his smile   
giving away his happiness.  
  
"No catch, just felt like coming by." She answered wryly. When he cocked his head to   
the side, knowing she was up to something, she pulled the book out and placed it on top   
of the table. "Well, that and I wanted to surprise you and give you something." She   
confessed.  
  
His eyes sparkled at her when he picked up the book. To hide her blush she took a sip   
of her drink as he leafed through the pages. After a moment he settled on one of the   
poem pages and read through it, mouthing out the words silently as he went. When he   
finished he looked back up to see that she was a deep scarlet. "You wrote this all, for   
me?" He asked, obviously shocked.  
  
Pirro nodded and tried to force her skin to cool down. She watched as he leafed through   
the rest of it, to find that she had filled every page. Yes, she did have way too much free   
time on her hands, she was well aware, but if it could make Cye smile the way he was   
now she'd write thirty of those books for him. When he turned his gaze back up at her   
she wondered what it was glimmering in the corner of his eye. He stood up and walked   
around the table towards her. Pirro stood as well and he pulled her into a great bear   
hug.  
  
"Pirro, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me! Oh I love you!" He told   
her as he practically crushed her against him. All Pirro could do was hug him back with   
what strength she had in her arms and blush as the few other customers, and the young   
man behind the counter turned to gaze at the embracing couple. She knew that in the   
hushed atmosphere Cye's declaration of love had reached everyone's ears, but she   
didn't care! Oh she had done the right thing in giving it to him!  
  
It seemed that Cye's co-worker had been so touched by their little scene that he had   
covered for Cye and let him have a little extra time to talk with Pirro until she finished   
her drink and had to leave to let him get back to work. The entire time, Cye had been   
gazing warmly into her eyes, looking like he was going to burst with his joy. The   
happiness he'd shown her had sent her almost literally skipping back to the apartment.  
  
"It's almost over  
It's almost over  
No more war and no more soldiers  
To stand against his love…"  
  
"No, I'm not telling you where we're going." Cye told her as he continued to drive   
away from the city. He had talked her into going for a drive, and only after he'd gotten   
her in the car did he confess that they had an actual destination. Pirro resigned herself   
to her fate and decided that she'd let him have his fun. They had been an official couple   
for several weeks now.  
  
As they drove, Pirro noticed that the horizon seemed to level off up ahead and looked   
like a large smooth stone. Wait, no…it was shifting. Shifting, but holding still. She   
squinted and leaned foreword in her seat, not noticing the smile Cye was giving her.   
What on earth was that? It was almost as if they were heading towards…wait a minute!   
They were heading towards a large pool of water…that was the ocean! Her eyes grew   
wide as she turned to look at Cye. He wore a big grin on his face. "You told me once   
you've not seen the ocean before outside of a photograph. I thought it was high time   
you got to visit it."  
  
Once they were sitting on the beach, Pirro and Cye sat close together watching the   
waves. They couldn't go swimming, as Cye couldn't have told her to grab her bathing   
suit without giving it away. Not that Pirro really knew how to swim. "It's so…" Pirro   
thought for a moment for a word that could describe the ocean. "Awe inspiring." She   
came up with.  
  
Cye nodded. "It's beautiful, I've always loved the ocean." He told her. He pulled her   
close and she leaned against him as they watched the waves roll into shore. "It's good to   
have peace here, especially with someone to share it with." He commented almost   
absently, but watched her out of the corner of his eye for her reaction. Pirro rested her   
head against him.  
  
"You're going to spoil me Cye." She warned him.  
  
"And I'm going to enjoy spoiling you Pirro." He told her.  
  
"Away  
With all the troubles that you've made  
Away  
With waiting for another day  
Away…"  
  
On a double date with Kento and his girlfriend Raina, Cye and Pirro sat together on one   
side of the table, Kento across from Cye, and Raina across from Pirro. The ice cream had   
just been served, and Pirro was getting uncomfortable, noticing Raina giving her odd   
looks all evening. Pirro had ignored it, and was about to dig into the ice cream when   
Cye suddenly put a hand on her arm, startling her into dropping the spoonful she had   
just picked up back into the dish.  
  
"Do you hear that?" He asked her. Pirro cocked her head to the side. The restaurant's   
music station was playing their song. Pirro nodded her head to say she heard it, and   
Cye took her spoon out of her hand, set it on her placemat, the took her wrist and   
dragged her into the isle.  
  
"Cye? What are you doing?" She asked. He just smiled and started dancing with her.   
Laughing, she went along with him. The waitresses couldn't decide whether to be   
annoyed or amused by the pair continuously getting in their way. By the time they'd   
returned to their seats their ice cream was closer to the consistency of soup than   
anything.  
  
Pirro and Cye were both beaming with suppressed laughter as they rejoined Kento and   
Raina. It would seem that Raina was jealous that Kento hadn't asked her to dance, for   
upon their return, Pirro over heard Kento say, "This is their thing, let's let it remain with   
them." It seemed that Raina didn't know that Kento, though he could dance quite well,   
didn't like to dance all the time. Especially in a place like this, it just wasn't a Kento   
thing to do.  
  
They finished eating, and had gone their separate ways. "I feel bad for Kento." Cye   
commented as he drove them home.  
  
"How come?" Pirro asked sleepily.  
  
"I think Raina is angry with him for not being as, ready to publicly express his feelings   
as we are." Cye smiled.  
  
Pirro opened her eyes and turned her head to gaze at him. "You can tell Kento cares for   
her though." She yawned. "I hope she gives him a chance though."  
  
Cye nodded and smiled. "Look, our slipper of a moon is out again tonight." He   
commented.  
  
Pirro smiled. "I've already made my wish."  
  
"Look ma  
The sun is shinin' on me  
Impatient  
In love  
And aching to be  
Could you believe in heaven  
If heaven was all you had?…"  
  
Cye woke up to the sound of someone knocking furiously on his door. He dragged   
himself out of bed, pulled on a pair of pants, and stumbled to unlock and open the door.   
"Yes…Pirro? What's going on?" He asked when he found her standing there looking   
like she'd just fallen out of bed herself.  
  
Pirro startled him by launching herself at him and wrapping her arms around his neck.   
"I just checked the news on the 'net, 'Standing at 100mph' just hit the top sellers list!"   
She cried happily. "Standing at 100mph" was the title of her latest novel.  
  
Cye wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, spinning her around.   
"That's great!" He cried. Then remembering that there were other people in the   
building, probably trying to sleep, he carried her in his apartment and kicked the door   
shut behind him. "We have to celebrate!" He told her excitedly, then kissed her.  
  
A few hours later found them sitting across from each other in a table for two at an   
Italian restaurant. They toasted to Pirro's success, as well as Cye's, and were each   
sipping their beverage when they overheard the conversation at the next table:  
  
"It seems Julie Shudder has caused another stir in the writing world. No one seems to   
know who she is, not even her agent." One man was saying.  
  
"I wonder if it's that mystery about her that keeps her on the best sellers list." His wife   
commented in a haughty voice that wore at the edges of Pirro's nerves.  
  
Pirro put her glass down angrily. She didn't want hearing this ruin her evening, but it   
annoyed her just the same. "Excuse me." Pirro said to the couple, trying her best to   
remain polite.  
  
"Yes?" The woman asked, looking down her nose at Pirro, a look of disgust on her face.  
  
"Have you ever read any of Julie Shudder's books?" She asked.  
  
The woman shook her head. "No. Why would I waste my time with such rubbish? As I   
said, she's only selling so well because of no one knowing who she is. A publicity stunt   
if you ask me."  
  
Pirro smiled. "You do know that her first book made best sellers list before anyone   
knew she was an anonymous writer, don't you?"  
  
The woman scoffed and opened her mouth to deliver some biting remark or another,   
when Cye cut in. "Don't knock it 'till you've tried it lady."  
  
The woman's face had gone beat red, and her husband seemed pleased. She apparently   
had decided that it wasn't worth trying to argue further with these lesser people.  
  
The dinner had gone on without any further unpleasantness, and the festive mood was   
restored as soon as the snooty lady and her husband left, for Pirro had begun to crack   
up. "That woman was hilarious. She hadn't even read the books and she decided she   
was too good for them. I think I'll have to base a character on her."  
  
Cye found himself laughing as well. "I'm glad you didn't let her get to you."  
  
"Yeah…" Pirro realized she'd just laughed at an insult. This was a first. She smiled   
widely at Cye, and he leaned foreword and clinked his glass against hers.  
  
"To laughter." He toasted.  
  
"To laughter." She agreed and they both smiled as they sipped their drinks, mimicking   
the snooty woman. Then they both nearly choked trying to suppress their laughter,   
drawing the eyes of the other patrons of the restaurant. Not that they cared, they were   
off in their own little world.  
  
"We're taking over  
We're taking over  
Throw away your four leafed clovers  
And stand beside this love…"  
  
Pirro was pacing her room. Writers block held her in its grip, and she couldn't find a   
way to break through it. Cye was at work, and she wanted to visit him, but she knew   
that was just procrastinating from getting to her own work. It seemed that every so   
often she just couldn't find the words, and this night was one of them. In her mind she   
could see her characters talking, interacting, going about the story, but then she hit a   
wall and it felt like they were looking at her as if asking, "what now?" What now…and   
she couldn't answer no matter how hard she tried.  
  
It drove her slowly insane trying to find a good plot twist that would steer them in the   
right direction. Nothing was working. Everything she came up with sounded so cliché   
to her, and she was getting frustrated. She finally wore her legs out and had to sit down   
and gripe to herself silently. After another hour of trial and error, and the deletion of the   
same page about three times, Pirro left her computer to lie on her bed and stare at the   
ceiling.  
  
She must have fallen asleep, for the next thing she knew she was being woken up by   
something brushing her nose. She batted at it and rolled over, wanting to return to her   
dream about Cye. Still, the thing persisted. She batted it away again, only to hear a soft   
chuckle. That woke her up.  
  
She opened her eyes to see Cye leaning over her. He must have used the spare key   
she'd given him a few months ago. There was a faint smile on his face as he brushed a   
stray lock of hair off her forehead. "Good morning Pirro." He joked. The level of light   
in the room told her it was well past sun down.  
  
She grumbled something incoherent and sat up. As always when she fell asleep in the   
afternoon, she woke up feeling cold, sick to her stomach, and completely disoriented.   
"What time is it?" She asked, knowing a headache was on its way. She wasn't in the   
best of moods, and was feeling quite grumpy.  
  
"It's about eight o'clock." Cye told her, then his expression became concerned. "You   
feeling okay?"  
  
Pirro nodded. "Yeah, just a headache." She explained, putting her fingers to her   
temple.  
  
He smiled. "I'll get you some Tylenol."  
  
"Thank you." Pirro said. When he returned with a glass of water and two white pills   
she swallowed them and handed him the glass, which he set on her night table.  
  
He put a hand on her shoulder and lay her back down into her pillows gently. "Here,   
you're tired, bad day?" He asked as he lay next to her on the bed.  
  
Pirro nodded. "I have writers block, and nothing is working. Everything's been done,   
and what hasn't been done, I can't think up." She said, exasperated with herself. Cye   
put a hand on her forehead and brushed away the stray locks of hair.  
  
"You're one of the best authors of our time, and you're still young. You'll think up   
something to say, and find the right words to say it with." He consoled her. When she   
just raised her eyebrows at him, he pulled her into his arms. "You always do. Why   
don't you take a break from that story?" He suggested as she settled against him.  
  
"And do what?" She asked, wondering what he was up to.  
  
"You told me once that you went through a phase where you collected mythology, and   
you memorized all the stories you could." He told her, resting his face against the top of   
her head.  
  
"Yeah…" She replied, closing her eyes against the dim light in the room, waiting for the   
Tylenol to kick in.  
  
"Tell me some of them." He instructed in a soft voice.  
  
"Um, alright…let me think for a moment." Pirro felt her mind let go of her struggle to   
find the next page in her new novel, as it slipped back to the familiar stories full of great   
beasts, love, and heroes. She felt the drug begin to sooth the throbbing in her temples as   
she found her favorite title float to mind.  
  
"The Tale of the Four Tasks, known also as the story of Eros and Psyche." Pirro started.   
She couldn't see Cye's smile, as he listened to her spin the tail of the two lovers,   
separated by day, and shunned by the goddess of Love and Beauty.  
  
For hours Pirro talked, and Cye listened to her tell the tale of The Girl Who Married The   
Moon, The Girl Who Loved Horses, The Mud Pony, Pyramus and Thisbe, and other old   
stories. Soon her voice was hoarse, and she was smiling.  
  
"Help?" Cye asked her when she curled against him and sighed softly. She nodded her   
head sleepily and snuggled close. "Good." He whispered, then kissed her temple   
before closing his eyes.  
  
Cye woke up the next morning to the soft rhythmic sound of Pirro typing away at her   
story.  
  
"Away  
With everything you've grown to hate  
Away  
With everything that holds you safe  
Away…"  
  
Pirro just smiled when Cye came to give her the news. "Kento just called to invite us to   
go to his house to hang out on Saturday, you up for it?"  
  
Two days later they were in the car, pulling into Kento's drive way. Kento was   
answered the door as soon as they knocked and invited them in. "Hey Kento, you like   
living like a hermit?" Cye asked jokingly, referring to the fact that Kento had no lights   
on in the entire place, and twilight was falling over the land.  
  
"Nope." Kento said with a smile as he closed the door behind Pirro. He waited for Cye   
to make his way towards the living room before hitting the light switch.  
  
"SURPRISE!" Came the shout, startling Cye and causing him to step backwards into   
Pirro as he was pelted with handfuls of Trixie Glitter*.  
  
"Happy birthday buddy, even if it's a few days early." Kento said with a wide grin   
spread across his face.  
  
"If we'd done it on your birthday you'd have suspected something." Pirro said as she   
stepped beside Cye and looped an arm around his waist, dusting Trixie Glitter off his   
shirt.  
  
Cye grinned. "Thanks you guys!"  
  
"Come on, let's stop dawdling and get to the birthday cake!" Kento whined as he   
directed the group to the dining room.  
  
Following their bottomless-pit of a friend, Cye turned to Pirro and asked, "You knew   
about this?"  
  
She smiled up at him. "I'm the one who called Kento and begged him to let us use his   
place."  
  
"How'd you get him to agree?"  
  
"I promised him that I'd buy the good cake since you wouldn't be baking." She   
confessed with a grin.  
  
Cye just laughed and gave her a quick kiss as they joined the others.  
  
"Oh quit the mushy stuff and make your wish." Kento complained, indicating the   
candles on Cye's cake.  
  
Cye shot a knowing glance at Pirro and said, "I already have." He said softly, then blew   
the candles out.  
  
"And every light I've found  
Is every light that's shining down on me  
I'm never alone…"  
  
Cye and Pirro were talking to each other through the wall in the dark of night. Pirro   
was worried about how troubled Cye sounded. Finally she broke down and asked,   
"Cye, what's wrong?"  
  
Cye's first instinct was to say that it was nothing and brush it off, but he knew Pirro   
wouldn't buy it. She knew him too well for him to get away with it. He sighed and   
confessed, "Jezzalyn came to the café today."  
  
Pirro was silent on her side of the wall. She didn't like the sound of that. "Nothing   
happened, she ordered coffee and tried to make nice to me, but I ignored her past a   
customer/server relationship. Another customer came in, and I had an excuse to not   
talk to her. She got mad and stormed out." Cye continued.  
  
He could sense the tension coming from Pirro through the wall. "I was just shaken up,   
but I think she realizes now that I'm not her toy to play with. I'm yours Pirro, you know   
that."  
  
Pirro nodded. She sighed, understanding why he might be shaken up, knowing that   
today would have been the first time he'd seen Jezzalyn since the break up. Still, there   
was a strange knot in her stomach at the thought of the woman Cye almost proposed to   
showing back up in his life, even if it was just to buy coffee.  
  
"Pirro, don't get mad, I doubt I'll see her again. Besides, it's you that I love." He tried to   
make amends. Pirro knew he couldn't have helped the fact that Jezzalyn had wandered   
into his café…she decided to just brush it off and said, "I love you too Cye."  
  
"Look ma the sun is shining on me  
Taking my time to do as I please  
Could you believe in heaven  
If heaven was all you had?…"  
  
It had been weeks since the incident with Jezzalyn's return. The next morning Cye had   
shown up at Pirro's apartment with a poem he'd written for her, to show her that she   
was the only one for him. She'd laughed and hugged him, and the bad feelings were   
washed away to a secret part of Pirro's heart where she kept all her doubts and fears.  
  
Pirro was walking to the café to meet Cye when he got out of work; they were going to   
go to dinner that evening, and she had decided to show up a few minutes early. As she   
walked she smiled, even at the little children who shied away from her at first, then   
smiled back. She was in such a good mood that evening; something in the twilight air   
electrified her skin. It was a beautiful day, and she didn't feel that it was in any way   
marred by the tattooed kiss of the flame on her skin.  
  
Cye wasn't in so good a mood. He knew that Pirro was on her way, and Jezzalyn had   
just walked in the café, and was again trying to strike up a conversation. He did his best   
to thwart her attempts, as he brought her back her change. He suspected she paid with   
a twenty for the sole purpose of making him hand her the change.  
  
As she held out her hand, he placed the bills and coins in her palm, at which time she   
took his hand and pulled him foreword. Uh oh…what was she up to? He pulled his   
hand away, and in a moment of 'shock,' Jezzalyn spilled her drink down the front of his   
shirt.  
  
"Ouch!" Cye cried as he jumped back, the hot liquid stained his good work shirt and   
burned his chest.  
  
"Ooh! You better take that off before it burns and leaves scars." Jezzalyn said, not   
getting the meaning behind the hard look Cye had just given her. She leaned across the   
counter and before he could duck into the back to change into the shirt he had brought   
to change into for his date with Pirro, she grabbed him by the front of the shirt and   
started unbuttoning it on him claiming she didn't want him to end up covered in burn   
scars.  
  
"The sun is beaming  
Radiating  
All the love we are creating…"  
  
That was the wrong thing to say at that moment, as Pirro had just stepped into the café   
and stopped dead in her tracks. She had only caught something about "covered in burn   
scars," coming from the blonds lips as she disrobed Cye. The scene didn't make sense to   
Pirro's startled mind.  
  
Cye noticed her as he struggled to both get his shirt off and push Jezzalyn away. He   
finally shoved the blond off him as his co-worker came to his rescue, bearing Cye's spare   
shirt. Cye ripped his work shirt off and threw it to the ground, mopped himself off, and   
pulled his other shirt on while saying, "Oh my god, Pirro! This is not what it looks like!"  
  
"Who's that?" Jezzalyn asked, eyeing Pirro scornfully.  
  
"Jezzalyn…" Cye said exasperatedly, and was about to tell her to shut up when Pirro's   
eyes narrowed.  
  
"So that's Jezzalyn?" Pirro asked, and although she felt like she had been punched in   
the gut when she found this girl stripping her boyfriend, she still was taken by the   
simple beauty of the blonde's features.  
  
"Who are you?" Jezzalyn asked, giving Pirro a dirty look. Then she glanced at Cye, and   
back at Pirro. "Don't tell me, this is your new flame Cye? Honestly, you could do so   
much better." She said down her nose.  
  
Pirro was trying to keep herself calm, but at that moment her mind was spinning out of   
control. She knew she should be rational about this, she knew Cye said he loved her,   
but she knew he had loved Jezzalyn too. She cold see why; Jezzalyn had so much more   
to offer.  
  
"Shut up Jezz." Cye warned as he stepped around the bar and closer to Pirro.  
  
"Oh, I see how it is." Jezzalyn said. "You're all over me, until you have to make it look   
good in front of little girly-girl here, huh?" She asked as she wrapped a graceful,   
unblemished arm around Cye. To Pirro she then said in her melodic voice, "Don't   
worry hon, I'll give it to you strait, even if Cye will just joke around. Why don't you just   
go on home?"  
  
Pirro wanted to say something; she had tunnel vision and couldn't see anything but   
Jezzalyn. She missed that Cye was moving to detach himself from Jezzalyn. To Pirro's   
blurry mind it looked like Cye was moving to wrap his arm around Jezzalyn. What she   
did see clearly however, was Jezzalyn leaning to kiss Cye on the cheek.  
  
Pirro turned around in time to miss Cye shoving Jezzalyn away. She was out of the   
door in time to miss Cye calling to his coworker to cover for him. And she was lost in   
the crowd in time to slip from Cye's line of view and out of his sight. He moved after   
her through the crowded street, but lost her when he found she wasn't going home. He   
didn't know where she was going, but was worried that she didn't know the section of   
town she was headed for.  
  
"We are creating…"  
  
Jezzalyn left the café and followed Cye with a confused look on her face in time to see   
him turn and punch a wall. "What's that about Cye?" Jezzalyn asked.  
  
"Jezzalyn, get the hell out of my life. You left me once, but I'm leaving you now. Go.   
Away. You. Bitch." Cye growled.  
  
Startled that Cye even knew such words, Jezzalyn stepped back. Cye turned his angry   
eyes on her and she took another step away. Cye glowered at her until she turned and   
strode off.  
  
He went back into the café, punched out, grabbed his things, and went to his car. He   
drove around the city, hoping to find Pirro, but after three hours he decided to go home   
to see if she was there. He found an empty apartment, and knew he had no hope of   
finding her that night. He went into his own rooms and lay down on his bed in his   
cloths, willing himself not to cry.  
  
"And every light I've found  
Is every light that's shining down on me…"  
  
Pirro found her way to a familiar street eventually, and made her way home. She   
walked into her apartment a good hour after Cye had fallen into a thick sleep. She   
locked her door, thought a moment, then put the chain on too, just to make sure. She   
didn't want to see Cye when she woke up. She put on her headphones so she wouldn't   
be able to hear him through the bedroom wall, and finally cried herself into a restless   
sleep.  
  
"I'm never alone…"  
  
  
*Trixie Glitter: A substance that is like regular glitter, only it is magic and blessed by   
Trixie and isn't fun to breathe in when being pelted with. Admittedly, it came from   
Jasper SnapDragon's mind, but as he is one of my best friends I assumed he wouldn't   
mind. ^_^  



	12. Stand Inside Your Love 12: Shame

Shame  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro.  
  
  
  
"You're gonna walk on home  
You're gonna walk alone  
You're gonna see this through  
Don't let them get to you…"  
  
Cye wanted to kick something. He wanted to throw something. He wanted to punch   
something. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. Anything to get his   
frustrations out, but all he was doing was walking. He couldn't stand to be in his   
apartment, knowing Pirro was on the other side of the wall. Knowing she wasn't talking   
to him  
  
Not that he could blame her.  
  
"Shame…"  
  
Cye had lost himself in the crowded city street, but he hadn't lost the memories.  
  
That morning he'd gotten up to hear noise on Pirro's side of the wall. Relieved that she   
was okay he'd tapped on the wall, but gotten no response. He listened carefully, and   
recognized the noise as muffled music, most likely from headphones.  
  
Deflated, but not completely defeated, Cye had gotten up, gotten dressed, and waited to   
hear her get up. Eventually he heard the tell tale sound of Pirro sitting up in bed, and   
taking off the headphones.  
  
He was instantly knocking at the bedroom wall, trying to get her attention. "Pirro!   
Please talk to me, let me explain…"  
  
"What's there to explain?" Pirro had snapped, cutting him off.  
  
Cye continued, undaunted. "Pirro, I told you she'd come to the café, I've told you I'm   
over her. Pirro, you know what you mean to me." He realized he was on the verge of   
babbling.  
  
"Love is good and love is kind  
Love is drunk and love is blind  
Love is good and love is mine  
Love is drunk all the time…"  
  
Pirro hadn't bought it. He didn't know why. He supposed that she was so hurt that she   
couldn't listen to reason. He hadn't meant for his temper to flair. He hadn't meant to   
shout at her. He wished he could take it all back.  
  
She had shouted back, and then he'd heard the slam of her bathroom door, telling him   
she'd shut herself in the one room of her apartment where she couldn't hear what was   
happening on his side of the wall. She had efficiently and abruptly ended the   
conversation, and Cye realized what he had just said.  
  
He'd slammed his fist against the wall, grabbed his coat, and walked out.  
  
"Shame…"  
  
Now here he was. He wondered if he wanted to ever return to his apartment. He   
passed Jezzalyn on the street. She'd moved towards him as if to speak, but he'd brushed   
by her and left her behind.  
  
"CYE! HEY! CYE!" He heard his name called. At first he ignored it, but the voice kept   
getting closer. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and spun him around. He raised   
his fist to punch the owner of the hand, then saw it was only Kento.  
  
He lowered his fist and sighed. "What do you want Kento?"  
  
"What's with you?" Kento asked. "Why didn't you answer me?"  
  
Cye finally shrugged Kento's hand off his shoulder. "I'm just out of it." He choked.   
"Pirro isn't talking to me."  
  
Kento looked stunned.  
  
"You're gonna walk on home  
You're gonna walk alone  
You're gonna walk so far  
You're gonna wonder who you are…"  
  
Cye was sitting in Kento's living room. He had just poured his heart out to his friend,   
telling everything that had happened. Kento was watching him silently, then finally   
sighed. "You know what you have to do now, don't you?" Kento asked.  
  
Cye looked up from inspecting the floor. He waited for Kento to explain, not bothering   
with asking.  
  
Kento sighed and walked out of the room. Cye could hear him moving through the   
bedroom, then emerge back into the living room. Kento tossed a small box at Cye who   
caught it reflexively. Cye didn't have to look at it to recognize what it was. The   
engagement ring he had bought over a year ago and had handed over to Kento when he   
broken up with Jezzalyn.  
  
"Shame…"  
  
"Cye, I've seen the two of you together. I know you love her, and she's better than those   
bimboes you normally date. She loves you too, you know she does. You are going   
home right now and apologizing." Kento made it clear that he was not joking around,   
and that he would probably hit Cye if he resisted.  
  
Cye looked up at Kento for a long moment, as if debating just how much that punch   
would hurt, and if it would hurt more than being rejected by Pirro. After a moment he   
nodded and pocketed the ring, knowing he had to try to make things right. He stood up   
slowly and Kento seemed to accept that.  
  
"Alright. Let's go, I'll drive you back." Kento said. Cye nodded and followed him out   
the door.  
  
"Love is good and love is kind  
Love is good and love is blind  
Love is good and love is mine  
Love is good all the time…"  
  
Cye was standing in front of Pirro's door. Inside he could hear her typing furiously   
away at her computer. His hand was posed over the door, not quite daring to knock yet.   
He hadn't realized he was holding his breath until he felt the desperate need for oxygen.  
  
It could have been five minutes that Cye just stood there, not sure what he was waiting   
for. Suddenly he heard Pirro's voice inside the door. "DAMNIT!" She cursed and   
pounded the keyboard with her fist.  
  
Cye stepped away from the door, but then he heard her sobbing. His heart broke, and   
he reached in his pocket for her spare key. He'd gotten in the habit of keeping it there.   
He opened her door easily – as she had taken the chain off about an hour ago – and he   
slipped into her apartment. "Pirro?" He asked softly as the door shut behind him.  
  
"Hello goodbye  
You know you made us cry…"  



	13. Stand Inside Your Love 13: Crash and Bu...

Crash and Burn  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Savage Garden wrote the song. I know someone's   
already used this song to make a fic out of, but I had been planning on using it in this   
story, so I hope no one thinks I'm using their ideas. You know I love you out there, and   
I don't want to step on anyone's toes. Do own Pirro. Do own Jezzalyn.  
  
  
"When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please  
To tame your wild wild heart…"  
  
"Pirro?" She heard her name come being called from the front of her apartment. She'd   
heard Cye let himself in, but it was too hard to lift her face off her keyboard to bother   
with looking up at him. There was a pregnant silence that filled the air as Cye stood   
uneasily in her living room, waiting for her reply.  
  
Pirro silently listened to him shift his weight, and then call her name again. "Pirro, I   
know you're home." His tentative voice reached her. Still, she didn't move. She didn't   
want to see him. He was such an ass hole! She couldn't stand to see him now, not after   
what he'd done, or the piece-of-crap story he'd fed her about hot coffee. A part of her   
mind had wanted desperately to believe him, but she didn't.  
  
She was so angry with him, but more angry with herself for trusting him in the first   
place. She continued to scold herself silently for being fool enough to believe that   
someone like Cye really cared about her more than he cared for someone as beautiful as   
Jezzalyn. She knew he didn't care for Jezzalyn as much as he once had, but she had seen   
them next to each other. Cye deserved someone who was beautiful, who didn't have so   
many issues, who was just a better person. And just because he didn't care for Jezzalyn   
as much now, that didn't mean he didn't care for her at all.  
  
"I know you feel like  
The walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relief  
And people can be so cold…"  
  
"Pirro, I know you're there." Cye said again in a more resigned voice than he'd been   
using. She heard him walk into the room and quickly turned her head to keep him from   
seeing the tears streaked down her face.  
  
"What do you want?" She asked. "If it's the shirt I have of yours, it's in the closet. And   
anything else of yours I have in a box in there." She said. She could tell by the way he   
shifted his weight that her words had hurt him deeply. She didn't want to lose him; she   
didn't want to hurt him. He'd be so much better off without her to weigh him down.   
And still, she really wanted to scream at him.  
  
"Pirro, I didn't come here to get my stuff. I'm not here to fight with you." He told the   
back of her head. Pirro closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. She listened as he   
took a step closer to her. "Pirro, look at me."  
  
Pirro turned in her swivel chair to face him before opening her eyes. She regarded him   
as he stood with his hands in his pockets, looking like someone had ripped his heart out   
and stepped on it. Looking like *she* had ripped his heart out.  
  
"Pirro, I know you don't believe what I told you, but what I told you is true. I have no   
reason to lie to you, and I don't want to lose you because Jezzalyn decided that she was   
going to show up and try to screw with my life again." He said in what could have been   
one breath. Silent tears were streaming down her face as she listened to him. Oh she   
wanted to believe him, but he didn't deserve the crap she knew she'd put him through.   
Just because she was cursed with her past, didn't mean that he had to be too. This was   
her logic. Her mind couldn't decide if she was breaking up with him because she   
thought he deserved better, or because he seemed to want better.  
  
"When darkness is upon your door  
And you feel like you can't take any more…"  
  
"Why are you being like this?" Cye asked her as he took another step toward her chair.   
She could tell that her silence was killing him inside and he was getting angry, she   
couldn't stand it any more.  
  
"Cye, it's better for both of us if you leave me. You know it." She said around a choked-  
back sob.  
  
Cye looked like he'd been struck in the face. "Pirro…don't…"  
  
"Don't what?" She asked, on the offensive now. "Don't let you go and live a free life?"  
  
"Pirro, you've never been a burden to me." Cye said, not liking where this was going,   
and wondering what they were fighting over – Jezzalyn, or him being better off alone.  
  
"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone…"  
  
Cye was shaking his head after she had explained to him why he didn't deserve her.   
"Pirro, I didn't come here to fight with you."  
  
"Then why are you here?" She challenged.  
  
Cye took a deep breath and said, "Listen, I came because you're right. I don't deserve   
you. I don't deserve someone who has a way with words that melts my heart. I don't   
deserve someone who I love. You're right, I don't deserve someone as beautiful as you,   
because I have the nerve to associate myself with someone as ugly as Jezzalyn."  
  
"When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
You're caught in a one-way street  
With the monsters in your head  
When hopes and dreams are far away and  
You feel like you can't face the day…"  
  
Pirro didn't know what to say. Part of her wanted to slap him, the other part wanted to   
hug him, and a third part wanted to just walk away from him. "Cye…" She whispered.  
  
"No Pirro." He quickly cut her off. "You seem to think that I should be with someone   
else because you don't think you're worth it. Listen to me; you are, but if you are going   
to continue to push me away, I don't know if I can hang on much longer."  
  
"Why hang on at all?" She heard herself asking, though she didn't mean it. She knew   
she didn't, but it was too late now.  
  
"Pirro, do you love me?" Cye asked her.  
  
"Yes." She said, though it ripped her heart out to say it. She knew she loved him, but   
she had made up her mind that he should be with another if he were going to be happy.   
She couldn't remember how she'd come to that conclusion, other than it had been   
reached a few hours ago after crying herself out of tears.  
  
"Pirro, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you love me, but you want to   
push me away. Because you know what? I love you too. I loved you last week when I   
kissed you then threw you into the water at the beach. I loved you a month ago when   
you attempted to cook dinner and burnt the food and wound up ordering out instead. I   
loved you on Valentines Day when we got each other sick. I loved you a year ago when   
you finally let me take you to the movies that first time. Pirro…" His words finally   
failed him.  
  
"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone…"  
  
Now Pirro was shaking her head. "No." She stated. "You loved me, but you deserve   
more!" She told him. She knew she really sounded like one of her sappy characters, and   
wanted to kick herself for it. She hated those characters, and she normally had them   
killed off by the end of the book simply because she got sick of them.  
  
Cye surprised her suddenly by moving foreword and pinning her to the back of her   
chair with a hand on each of her shoulders. "Pirro, I don't want or need or deserve   
anything else. I want you. I love you. I don't want to have to leave you."  
  
Pirro broke down a bit then as he pulled her into his arms. "Pirro…" He said. "Please   
don't do this." Pirro sighed, then wrapped her arms around him when she felt his hot   
tears against her skin. It wasn't over, but it was a step closer to being there.  
  
"Cause there's always been heartache and pain  
And when it's over you'll breath again  
You'll breath again…"  
  
"Pirro, what did you wish?" Cye asked.  
  
Pirro was startled slightly, but she knew what he was talking about. "Cye, I…"  
  
"No, tell me, what did you wish for?"  
  
After a pause, Pirro spoke softly, "I wished that you would love me as much as you   
loved Jezzalyn. I was selfish, I wished that you would love me more than you ever   
loved her, and that you would be the one."  
  
Cye gave her a tighter squeeze. "Pirro, my wish came true too. I wished that you would   
let me be the one to make you smile. But I have a new wish now Pirro, but I'm afraid it   
won't come true."  
  
Pirro pulled herself back just enough that she could look Cye questioningly in the eye.   
"Cye, I can't stay with you if I'm just going to bring you down."  
  
Cye was starting to look discouraged. "Pirro, stop saying that. Where did this come   
from? What happened to you being mad at me because of Jezzalyn?"  
  
Pirro sighed. "Your story never changed. Every time you told me, it was the same   
story, and I know you. You couldn't lie to me to save your life."  
  
Both of them gave half smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes at that remark. She   
swiped at her nose, then went on. "Cye, I saw you standing with the most beautiful girl   
in the world. You can't tell me that you couldn't go out there and get someone like her,   
only not as mean."  
  
Cye shook his head. "I could attract someone who looked like her, but I'd grow to hate   
the girl because she wasn't you."  
  
"When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned it's back on you  
Give me a moment please  
To tame your wild wild heart…"  
  
Pirro was filled with a longing to let herself believe it was true. She took a deep breath   
and studied his face. Mentally she shook herself. She was being such a fool to not   
believe him. Wasn't it obvious in his manor that he was sincere? She didn't know any   
man who could make himself cry, or would let himself cry in front of her or because of   
her.  
  
"Tell me Cye, what is your wish now?" She asked, her way of trying to make amends.  
  
Cye didn't answer right away. Instead he let go of her and reached inside of his pocket.   
He pulled out a small box as he lowered himself to bended knee. "Pirro, I know I love   
you, and I know you love me too. I know that now isn't the best of times, but this is my   
wish. Pirro, I want you to be my wife, as you are the only woman in the entire world I   
want to spend the rest of my life with." With the end of his speech he opened the box to   
reveal the diamond engagement ring.  
  
"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone."  
  
Pirro couldn't breath at first for shock. She knew he hadn't planned on this for long, or   
she'd have heard about it through the wall. Still, she knew what her answer was before   
she even had to think about it. Though it killed her to say this to him, she spoke the   
words, "I can't."  



	14. Stand Inside Your Love 14: Yellow

Yellow  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. Coldplay wrote the song. Do own Pirro. Do own   
Sasha. Please don't rip me apart for the twist I've added to the story. Hey, it would be   
boring if everything was always all perky and fluffy and happy.  
  
  
  
  
"Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And everything you do  
Yeah, they were all yellow…"  
  
Pirro steeled herself for the tirade that was sure to follow, but it didn't come. Instead   
she watched as something in Cye's eyes seemed to crumple to dust, completely crushed   
and broken. She knew it was his heart.  
  
Cye looked at her with eyes that revealed his aching soul clearly, and it felt like a knife   
in Pirro's heart. She saw the question in his eyes. "Why? What do you mean you can't?   
What's keeping you?" But none of those words escaped his lips as he slowly snapped   
the box shut, concealing the beautiful ring from view. Almost trancelike, he stuffed the   
small box back in his pocket as he gazed into her eyes, boring a hole into her with his   
eyes. Finally Pirro had to turn her gaze away.  
  
"I do love you Pirro." Cye said.  
  
"I know." She whispered.  
  
"I do want you to be my wife." He went on in the same disjointed voice.  
  
"I know." She whispered again.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you, or make you do anything you obviously don't want a thing to   
do with."  
  
To that she was silent. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to be his wife. She   
wanted to be with him for the rest of their days. She just couldn't.  
  
She sat there silently as he leaned foreword and gave her one final kiss, not too different   
than a kiss they'd shared in the woods over a year ago. She could taste the salt from his   
tears, but before she could kiss him back he was pulling away and getting to his feet. "I   
won't bother you any more Pirro." He said.  
  
Pirro stared at his back for a moment, then opened her mouth to speak. "Cye?"  
  
He paused and turned to look at her over his shoulder. The look in his eyes wrenched   
her heart. "Yes?" He asked.  
  
"Don't forget me." She asked of him.  
  
"I never could. I never will." He promised her. She sat in her chair and stared at the   
empty space where he'd once stood, long after he'd gone into his apartment, gotten his   
keys, and driven off.  
  
"I came along  
I wrote a song for you  
And all the things you do  
And it was called Yellow…"  
  
Pirro knew she had to make herself move before she made herself sick. She had sobbed   
into her arms for so long her whole body ached. Cye wasn't coming back. She had   
followed his path to her door to find that he had set the key he'd used to enter her   
apartment on the end table by the door. He was gone, and she knew it was all her fault.  
  
"Cye…" She whispered his name to her empty apartment, but the walls wouldn't   
answer her. They mocked her with their silence, telling her that she was as big a fool as   
she thought. The echo of her voice reminded her that she was alone, just as she was   
meant to be. There was a solemn note to that thought which made Pirro shiver and   
wrap her arms around herself.  
  
It took her some time to force herself to get up and go to bed. She wondered what Cye   
was thinking, but for once the other side of the wall was silent. He hadn't come home.   
She didn't know it, but Cye had gone to Kento's, and had wound up spending the night   
there, as Kento had decided Cye wasn't fit to drive in the state he was in.  
  
It was mid morning when the mail came. She had long ago paid to have it delivered   
directly to her door as opposed to her having to go pick it up. She forced herself to go   
through it and see what had come.   
  
Junk mail, junk mail, bill, add, shit. Oh shit. Her agent. She dropped the other mail and   
tore open the professional envelope. She skimmed the letter, then cursed fluently under   
her breath. She was behind in her latest deadline, and her agent wanted her to know   
that if she didn't deliver, or make a public appearance, she'd drop Pirro's account.  
  
She turned to look at her computer. "Forever Young." The words of her screen saver   
were glairing at her menacingly. She let the letter from her agent hit the ground as she   
sat before the cold machine and applied scared hands to keyboard.  
  
She looked up when she heard Cye return to his apartment, but she could tell he wasn't   
alone. Kento was with him, and it sounded like Kento had spent the better part of the   
trip over trying to talk Cye out of his decision. "I'm moving Kento. I have no reason to   
stay." Cye's voice insisted.  
  
"Cye, yes you do. She's living in the apartment next to yours." Kento said stubbornly.  
  
"No. She's the reason I have to move. I can't live here any more. I love her too much to   
torture the two of us any more." Cye said softly. There was silence as Cye went   
through his rooms and began to pack.  
  
"So then I took my turn  
Oh what a thing to have done  
And it was all yellow…"  
  
Pirro watched out the window of her apartment as Cye crammed the last suitcase in the   
trunk of his car where it was parked in front of the building. He had wasted no time in   
finding a new apartment, and now was leaving her for good. Her shades were down,   
and she stood between them and the pane of glass, pressing her fingertips against the   
cool surface as rain washed the grime off the outside of the building, purifying the air as   
best it could.  
  
For a moment Cye glanced up at the building, and Pirro swore he looked directly at her   
as the rain pelted his face. She pressed her palm against the window, almost in a wave   
of farewell, her love for him just as strong at that moment as it had ever been. Her   
breath caught in her throat as he met her gaze dead on, her love reflected in his eyes as it   
had every time he had gently laid his eyes upon her.  
  
He stood there for the longest moment just looking at her, but not making any move to   
show that he acknowledged her being there beyond that. She swore he could have   
easily been crying, but it was impossible to tell in the rain. No, he wasn't crying. He   
might have wanted to, but he wasn't. He seemed almost serene. He was, resigned.   
That was the word. He had accepted his fate to a life without her and now was facing it   
dead on. In stepping into his car, turning the key in the ignition, and glancing back one   
last time before pulling away from the curb, Pirro knew he had sealed the final good   
bye.  
  
She stood there still, watching his car as it moved through traffic and out of sight. It was   
gone and no matter how she craned her neck she couldn't spot it. He was completely   
out of her life. She stood there silently, watching the rain play over the city, wishing she   
could wash away with it. She looked at the two notes in her hand. One was from her   
agent, and one was from Cye.  
  
The first one was a congratulations on the completion of her latest novel. "I have never   
seen you write angst so well. I don't know where the inspiration came from, but do   
keep this up. This is a sure seller. I already have two publishing companies begging to   
let them print it."  
  
The second letter was of a different tone entirely. It didn't say much, but it said enough:  
  
"Dear Pirro,  
  
I know how you feel about my proposal, and I figured I owe you an explanation for my   
actions. I love you, but I see now that you need your down time. Please remember that   
regardless of how you feel, you were made to be loved. And who wouldn't love you?   
Who wouldn't want to be loved by you? You will always be loved, never forget that. I   
won't.  
  
Forever Yours,  
Cye"  
  
That was it. That was all. The ink spattered as a single tear dripped onto the page it was   
written on.  
  
"Your skin  
Oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn it into something beautiful  
You know, you know I love you so  
You know I love you so…"  
  
Cye was sitting alone in a café, sipping listlessly at his mocha. He was leafing through   
the latest copy of the newspaper as he ignored the flirtatious glances he was getting   
from a girl across the room. Suddenly he paused as a small article caught his attention.  
  
A sad smile played across Cye's lips as he read the paragraph in black and white. "So   
Julia Shudder, you've made best sellers again." He said, not realizing he was speaking.   
"And no one knows who you are."  
  
"No one knows who?" A female voice asked, startling him. The girl across the room   
was now the girl standing beside his table.  
  
"Julia Shudder, the author." Cye said, not looking up, not caring to. He was slightly   
irritated by her presence. He wanted to be alone for this moment of contact with Pirro,   
as he hadn't had sight or sound of her for six months.  
  
The girl nodded and sat down across from him, making Cye frown, though not   
unkindly. He didn't want to be rude; he just wanted to be alone. "Are you a fan of   
hers?" The girl asked.  
  
"Yes." Cye stated, re-reading the article.  
  
"I'm Sasha." She introduced. Cye almost choked on his mocha.  
  
"Sasha?" Cye asked, remembering the name of the girl who had perished the night   
Pirro had received her scars.  
  
"You sound like my name's a dirty word." She commented, sounding insulted.  
  
Cye instantly apologized. "No, I'm sorry. I was just startled to meet a Sasha. I have   
only heard of one other Sasha." He explained.  
  
Sasha eyed him slightly. "No harm done. Who is this other Sasha?" She asked.  
  
"She's dead. She was a friend of a close friend." He said.  
  
"Oh." Sasha said, not liking that thought.  
  
Cye paused and glanced up at this girl. "I'm sorry, I have been rude. I'm Mouri Cye."   
He introduced.  
  
"Nice to meet you Mouri." She said.  
  
Cye puckered his eyebrows together. "Where are you from Sasha?" He asked.  
  
"Kentucky, USA." She said.  
  
Cye nodded. "Mouri is my family name." He reminded her.  
  
She blushed. "I just moved here, forgive me, I keep forgetting." She apologized.  
  
"It is alright." Cye told her. "Don't worry about it." He checked his watch. "I had best   
go, I have to get to work." He told her, picking up his paper, downing the last of his   
drink, and leaving.  
  
"Cye?" He heard Sasha's voice ask his back. "Can I meet you again?" She sounded   
hopeful.  
  
Cye turned to look at her. "Unless you can be satisfied with a completely platonic   
relationship, do not seek me out." He told her. "You are a sweet girl, but my heart is   
given." He turned and left, the paper under his arm. He would later cut out the article   
and store it between the pages of the hand-written poem book Pirro had given him.  
  
"I swam across  
I jumped across for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
Cause you were all yellow…"  
  
Pirro was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her new neighbor had moved in. Her   
second new neighbor since Cye had left her. The first had found someone to love, and   
had just moved in with her new fiancé. This new man, not much older than herself, was   
driving her nuts.  
  
He always played loud music, breaking into her concentration when she tried to write.   
That, and he was bent and determined to be a good neighbor. He had knocked on her   
door and asked to be let in, bearing flowers as an "I'm introducing myself." Present.  
  
She had brushed him off after he had presented the flowers, then nearly dropped them   
when he peered through the crack she'd opened the door and caught a glimpse of her   
face. Now he was annoying her by trying to get her to come out and be friendly like   
because he pitied her and thought she needed friends. She'd even heard him ask one of   
the other tenants if there were a demon hiding out in her apartment as a joke to get her   
to open her door. She had not been amused.  
  
She wanted to write to Cye, but he had left no forwarding address, and no new phone   
number. She hadn't dared to call up Kento or one of the other guys, as she didn't want   
to put them on the spot to betray Cye's location if he didn't want contact with her.  
  
She had just finished yet another novel. She was waiting now for her Editor to pick it   
apart, and didn't feel like starting on something new. She didn't want to write at the   
moment, she wanted to talk. She wanted to speak with Cye, to curl up in his arms   
again. This was just, so, depressing. Her agent seemed to find her new mood was good   
for her style. She wanted to slap the woman.  
  
She knew that Cye would understand. If only she hadn't driven him away. If only she   
hadn't told him she couldn't. But still, the fact remained, that she could not marry him,   
no matter how much she wished to. She only wished she had the courage to tell him   
why, but couldn't take the shame. It was better this way, him not knowing the sin they   
had committed together. He unknowingly, and she, she intentionally. It was all the   
same.  
  
She rolled over again. She should have known when she let herself fall in love with him   
that eventually marriage would come up. She had been naive in thinking he might be   
willing to continue their relationship without such a commitment. She'd just never   
bothered to tell him as it hadn't come up, and she never thought about it. And now, she   
couldn't tell him at all in free conscience.  
  
"I drew a line  
I drew a line for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
And it was all yellow…"  
  
Cye was sitting in his armchair in his new apartment. Julie Shudder's latest masterpiece   
was open in his lap, but he wasn't reading, he was resting his face in his hand. Here was   
Pirro's heart laid out before him, and he could tell she still loved him more than   
anything.  
  
Still, he couldn't go back. He couldn't tell her that he had made a mistake, that he   
would do anything to call her his own again. Still, he couldn't bring himself to do such a   
thing. He knew she would never believe him when he told her such a thing, and so he   
had to leave.  
  
He thought back to all the times they'd spent together. He knew Pirro was insecure, but   
he hadn't believed it was to the point that she believed herself unworthy of marriage.   
That was the final straw. He could handle everything else, but that was going beyond   
the line. He couldn't stay with her and fool himself any longer that she actually would   
grow old with him as his wife, as that was obviously not going to happen. He couldn't   
go through all that, couldn't do that to either of them. He had to leave.  
  
Still, her words were comforting as he held her book in his lap. He smiled down at the   
book as he traced her name with his fingers, then resumed his reading, wondering what   
Pirro's amazing mind had come up with now.  
  
"Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn it into something beautiful  
And you know for you  
I'd bleed myself dry   
For you I'd bleed myself dry…"  
  
"Write something new Julie. Give us some insight to you. All your stories are so   
diverse. Do something closer to autobiographical." That's what the latest letter from   
her agent said. They wanted autobiographical? She could never do that! Wait, maybe   
she could.  
  
She sat down and typed out the query letter, explaining that it wouldn't be   
autobiographical, but it wouldn't be anything she'd ever written before either.  
  
She hoped this would work. She really did, because she figured it was her only chance   
to let Cye know what had really happened, why she couldn't agree to marry him. It was   
the only way she could make it fair to him. Well, it would never be fair, but as close as   
she could make it.  
  
She sat down and instantly started typing away at her computer, starting with a   
prologue where a small girl found herself trapped in a house fire. She smiled, knowing   
she was writing an autobiography, but no one, save a spare few, would know that it   
really was one. Not even her agent would ever know.  
  
"It's true, look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine…."  
  
Cye was passing by a Barns and Noble when a new display out front caught his   
attention. There was a new book out by Julie Shudder. He smiled, deciding he could   
stop long enough to pick up a copy. He walked in and took one of the books from the   
display, looking down at it expectantly. His heart leapt into his throat.  
  
"Living Through A Wall, Wishing On A Star." Was written in red across the cover, the   
picture was only that of a door that has been chained shut. He stood there   
dumbfounded for several long moments, until one of the clerks tapped him on his   
shoulder to see if he was okay.  
  
"I'm going to buy this." He assured the fairly distraught looking woman. He took it to   
the counter and purchased it as promised, then went strait home to read this new novel.  
  
He got half way through the second chapter when he couldn't help it any more. He   
picked up his phone and called Kento. Impatiently he waited for Kento to pick up.  
  
"Moshi. Moshi." Kento's voice came over the phone line.  
  
"Kento, Pirro has a new book out." Cye said in a rushed voice.  
  
He could hear Kento sigh. "Man, you have got to start getting over her, it's been over a   
year."  
  
"Kento, it's about me."  
  
"What?" Kento asked, sounding slightly confused.  
  
"Kento, I know why she said she couldn't marry me." Cye said, sounding like he was   
going to explode from this new discovery.  
  
"What?" Kento asked again, now having to know what Cye had found.  
  
"Kento, I think she was already engaged.  
  
"WHAT?" Kento practically shouted.  
  
"Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And all the things that you do."  
  
Pirro sat beside her window as a tiny silver slipper of a moon made its way across the   
sky. ~Please grant my wish one more time…~ She prayed to the pale silver sliver.  



	15. Stand Inside Your Love 15: Best I Ever H...

Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Vertical Horizon wrote the song. Do own Pirro. Do   
own Sasha. BTW: I love reviews *cough* hint *cough*  
  
  
"So you sailed away  
Into a grey sky morning  
Now I'm here to say  
Love can be so boring…"  
  
Cye was shaking his head for all the good it did him as he was talking on the phone.   
"Kento, you don't get it, she had to leave me. She hadn't meant…" Here Cye trailed off   
for a moment, trying to think how to word this. "It doesn't matter. At least, at least now   
I know why she wouldn't marry me. I think she did love me."  
  
He could hear Kento sigh heavily on the other end of the line. "I told you, you have to   
stop beating yourself up over her. Find someone new already! That Sasha girl you've   
been hanging out with lately, what about here?"  
  
Cye again shook his head. "No Kento, not her. She's a nice girl."  
  
"Just like every other girl you meet. 'Oh, she's nice.' Cye!"  
  
"I know Kento, I know…but she is a nice girl. She's just…" Cye trailed off again.  
  
"Not Pirro?" Kento asked, his voice bordering on anger. He was slowly starting to get   
frustrated with Cye.  
  
"Exactly." Came Cye's blunt reply.  
  
It was Kento's turn to shake his head.  
  
"Nothing's quite the same now  
I just say your name now…"  
  
Pirro was lounging in the dark pit known as her apartment. There was no light in the   
room; even her computer had been turned off as she tried to subdue her imagination.   
From the moment her book had been on the shelves she had felt butterflies in her   
stomach. At first they were those of excitement, she was unable to wait for the reviews   
that would make or break her for this new breed of story. But now…  
  
Now they were the butterflies of self-doubt. Had she really done the right thing in   
publishing such a piece? Cye was certain to find it; its title was obvious enough. What   
would he think of her now? And what if…what if he decided he hated her for the lie   
she'd lived with him? She'd rather die then live with the thought of Cye hating her. She   
couldn't live with it.  
  
"I'd rather die." She whispered out loud as she gazed from her seat into the tiny   
kitchenette with the rack of assorted knives. She pried her eyes away and shook her   
head. She was such a fool. Her phone rang and she stood to answer it. The tiny voice   
of hope in the back of her head told her it might be Cye, but no. Of course she wasn't so   
fortunate. It was just her lawyer.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to re-write my will." Pirro told him.  
  
"But it's not so bad  
You're only the best I ever had…"  
  
Cye let the picture of Pirro fall to the ground from his hand.  
  
You don't want me back  
You're just the best I ever had…"  
  
Pirro let the picture of Cye fall to the ground from her hand.  
  
"So you stole my world  
Now I'm just a phony…"  
  
Pirro was curled up on her bed. She knew she should have let it go by now. It had been   
months since her latest book hit the shelves; Cye wasn't calling her. Not that she blamed   
him any, but it would still be nice to know what he felt about the truth now that he   
knew it.  
  
Not that she had any right to know. 'You're such a fool, he's probably moved on by   
now. He probably has found someone else to catch his eye, someone else to spout   
poetry to. You had no right to print that book and re-open the old wounds. You had no   
right to selfishly want him back in your arms after what you so openly and willingly did   
to him. You're a dishonorable wretch.' She berated herself.  
  
As the months had past, all the hope she'd had of her book redeeming her had flown   
away. At night she had taken to keeping her windows completely covered so she   
couldn't see the moonlight.  
  
"Remembering the girl  
Leaves me down and lonely…"  
  
Cye was finally finished with work for the day. He was now debating what to do with   
the rest of the evening, as he had no definite plans yet, and was feeling rather down. He   
had come across a magazine today in the display that's picture was only a giant question   
mark, and the boldface subtitle was asking, "Who is Julie Shudder?"  
  
Cye had picked up the 'zine to flip to the article. The author of the multi-paged piece   
had run through several theories as to why Julie hadn't revealed her face to the public –   
among them outrageous claims that Julie was really a man named Pedro, Julie was a bi-  
polar mental case who was afraid that the government would kill her if it knew where   
she lived, and Julie wasn't real, and the books were a joint effort by her agent and   
publishing company for the publicity of an anonymous writer.  
  
The journalist had then gone on to go through all the books and give a brief summary of   
them, and how good he thought they were, as well as how big a hit they'd been. The   
article ended with a plea to Julie to bite the bullet and come out of the closet, as it was   
time to end this foolishness and face the world like a man, or woman, whatever the case   
may be.  
  
Cye had found himself furious at these people for trying to pressure Pirro into showing   
herself. They had no right! If her stories are good, why bother her?  
  
He had sighed and put the magazine down, walking away. He had been good; he   
hadn't thought about Pirro constantly lately, he'd managed to push her from his mind.   
Now he was thinking about her again, all because of that article.  
  
He glanced at his watch; Sasha had wanted to meet him for coffee in an hour. It was   
obvious that she wanted to hook up with him, but he refused to be anything but friends   
with this girl. He had made up his mind that he was going to remain true to Pirro in his   
heart, at least for a while longer. He almost felt bad for Sasha, but he didn't lead her on,   
he told her flat out that he wasn't interested. She wanted to continue the friendship, so   
he had. That was all.  
  
"Send it in a letter  
Make yourself feel better…"  
  
Cye had written countless letters, notes, and the like to Pirro since he'd left her, but he'd   
still yet to actually send any of them to her. On her birthday he'd even bought her a   
card. It was sitting in the top drawer of his dresser, address filled out, postage stamp in   
the corner. The only thing he hadn't done was put it in the mailbox.  
  
He had dozens of letters written, explaining that he forgave her for what she'd done,   
and for each of them he had a letter written asking her why she'd done it, and searching   
for a reason to forgive her.  
  
He was standing in front of a mailbox, just daring himself to put the latest forgiveness   
letter inside. His hand was shaking as he stared at the gaping mouth where he would   
drop the envelope and not be able to get it back. He wanted badly to contact her again.  
  
Sasha wasn't speaking to him. The other night at the coffee house she had again made it   
obvious that she wanted to become more than just friends, and Cye had again pushed   
her away, brushing aside her advances.  
  
Things had come to a climax when, as he'd walked her to her car, she'd kissed him. He   
had been caught totally off guard, and hadn't pushed her away instantly. He found her   
arms wrapping themselves around his neck. When he had managed to pull himself   
away she was smiling warmly up at him, the same smile he'd seen on Pirro's face once.   
For a brief moment of insanity he forgot that it wasn't Pirro he held in his arms and   
whispered her name.  
  
Sasha had stood there stunned for a long moment. The moment he'd realized what he'd   
said he sucked in a sharp breath, waiting for her reaction. Her face fell as she let go of   
him and took a step away from him. "Who's Pirro?" She asked.  
  
"Just…someone…" Cye had started, not sure what to say.  
  
Sasha's eyes narrowed. "She's that one you're still in love with, isn't she Cye?" She   
accused. "It's been almost a year Cye, get over her! I know you have had no contact   
with her, so what is your problem?" Sasha continued her diatribe, demanding he wake   
up to the fact that Pirro wasn't coming back, and she, Sasha, was there for him.  
  
Cye had only been able to stand there and take it before ending the conversation quickly   
and leaving. He didn't know what hurt worse, the fact that he knew he had just lost one   
of his friends, or the fact that Sasha was right and he did need to get over Pirro.  
  
That's why he held this letter he wanted to send her, and in his own way find some sort   
of closure to his life. Ha, closure, he had never thought he'd be using that word. He   
was starting to sound like some sort of psychologist now…that was just great.  
  
He looked down at the letter in his hand. No, he couldn't mail it. He knew he couldn't.   
He turned around and went back into his living room, dropping the letter into a drawer   
with all the other letters he'd written.  
  
"But it's not so bad  
You're just the best I ever had  
You don't need me back  
You're just the best I ever had…"  
  
Pirro was going over the long letter that her lawyer had sent her, describing in detail   
everything she'd need to know about what she wanted to do. She sighed as she went   
through it. She knew what she had to do. She had the will she wanted all set up.  
  
She was ready to pick up the phone and schedule her appointment, but it rang the   
moment she placed her hand on it, making her jump back away from it. She had to let it   
ring a second time before she was able to pick it up. Inside she was praying that it was   
Cye, but the voice she heard on the other end of the line was that of a stranger.  
  
"Is this Julie Shudder?" The voice asked, sending a cold chill strait down her spine,   
freezing her to the spot. Who on Earth…?  
  
"How did you get this number?" She attacked, wondering whom she would have to cut   
complete contact with for giving away her number.  
  
"Because I know you are also known as Yoshimoto Pirro. I read your book Pirro; I'm an   
avid fan. This is Tanaka Naoki." Came the male voice.  
  
Pirro dropped her phone in pure and utter shock.  
  
"And it may take some time to  
Patch me up inside  
But I can't take it so I  
Run away and hide…"  
  
Cye was packing again. Kento was again frowning at him and telling him that he was   
acting foolishly, and Cye was again brushing past Kento as if the other man were just a   
piece of furniture. "It's just a vacation Kento…just a two month vacation. I'll be back, I   
just need to get away from a city where everything reminds me of Pirro."  
  
Kento sighed, having to agree with Cye on that one. "It will do you good to get her off   
your mind." He told his best friend. He felt like he had lost a part of Cye ever since   
Pirro had been out of the picture, and now Kento felt as if this vacation was just putting   
more space between them. Cye had been so much the loner lately, and Kento had   
wished there was some way to get Cye to see that there was a world beyond Pirro.  
  
Cye finished packing his last suitcase. "My flight leaves in two hours." Cye stated. "If   
we're going to meet the others before I leave then we better do it now."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want us to see you on your plane?" Kento asked.  
  
Cye nodded his head. "I'm sure. I don't want you guys trying to drag me back. I'll see   
you all again soon enough."  
  
Kento crossed his arms over his chest and moped.  
  
"And I may find in time that  
You were always right  
You're always right…"  
  
Pirro knew she had to go and visit the Tanaka family, she had no choice. She should   
have known that Cye wouldn't be the only one to recognize the storyline in "Living   
through a wall, Wishing on a star." She should have known that her fiancé would   
recognize her as well. There was a time when she had been almost friends with Naoki,   
during one of the times their families arranged for them to meet. She had known that   
their parents were debating arranging their marriage at such a young age, though   
nothing had been finalized really, and not soon after it had she had been trapped in the   
fire.  
  
The Tanakas had decided to simply keep in touch for a while to give Pirro and her   
family some space. Pirro had refused to see Naoki when he'd come to visit her in the   
hospital, and after that the two families had drifted. When Pirro's parents had died,   
getting in touch with Naoki and the Tanakas was the farthest thing from her mind as   
she'd never really cared for Naoki romantically in the first place, and she knew that his   
family had ceased contact due to her "condition."  
  
Turns out Naoki had believed that it was Pirro's family who had broken contact. But   
later, after Pirro had left no forwarding address and gone into seclusion, he found he   
wanted to break the engagement so that he could be open to find a wife. He had tried   
for years to contact her, but only found himself on a wild goose chase, and Pirro had   
forgotten about him almost completely.  
  
The moment she'd remembered Naoki was when she realized that Cye was about to   
propose to her. She had wanted to agree to marry Cye right then, but knew she couldn't   
do it. For all intents and purposes, she was spoken for. Now she was in a taxi on her   
way to the airport. The Tanaka family lived in Osaka, and she wasn't looking foreword   
to the plane ride.  
  
The taxi pulled up in front of the airport and let her out. She collected her bags and paid   
the cab driver, then went to get her baggage checked. Soon she was waiting with her   
carry-on bag only, trying to ignore the looks that a small child across the isle was giving   
her.  
  
"So you sailed away  
Into a grey sky morning  
Now I'm here to stay  
Love can be so boring…"  
  
"Yes, I'm taking a flight to Osaka, staying there a week, then going on to the cottage I   
rented on the sea just outside Osaka's city limits." Cye explained his travel plans. "I'll   
be back in two months." He was bidding a final farewell to his friends before catching a   
cab to the airport from Kento's house.  
  
After going through and giving everyone a hug he climbed in the back seat of the cab.   
"I hate to do this to you," Cye said to the driver, "But I'm afraid I'll be late for my   
flight."  
  
"That's alright, the airport's not far." The cabbie said as he pulled away from the curb.   
"I just came from there, dropped off this girl who didn't look to happy to be goin' where   
she was goin'. Where you off to anyway?" He asked, trying to make friendly   
conversation.  
  
"Osaka." Cye answered.  
  
Before Cye said more the cabbie chuckled. "So was that girl. If ya see a girl on the plane   
who doesn't look so happy, try to cheer her up won't'cha?"  
  
"Sure." Cye agreed.  
  
"She looked like she might be real pretty if it weren't for the fact that her face was all   
scared up." The cabbie muttered as he pulled up to the airport. Unfortunately Cye was   
checking his watch and hadn't been paying attention. If he had, he would have taken   
the time to question the cabbie more instead of paying and jumping out to grab his   
luggage and getting to the baggage check. Most of his things had been sent on ahead,   
but he did have a good number of bags with him.  
  
He made it to the gate just as the last passengers were boarding. He showed the lady his   
ticket and got on the plane. He found his seat – fortunately a window seat – and settled   
down for a nap. It would be a flight he didn't want to be awake for. Flying was for   
Rowen. Personally, he just wanted to get to Osaka.  
  
"What was it you wanted?  
Could it be I'm haunted?…"  
  
Pirro was sitting in first class. Being a famous writer had its benefits it would seem. She   
was munching halfheartedly on the complimentary peanuts that were handed to her as   
she waited for the coach passengers to board. It seemed that there was a straggler   
getting his ticket checked.  
  
Pirro didn't glance up as he started down the isle, but when he passed her seat she   
glanced in front of the old man sitting beside her to see the guy's face. She liked to   
collect features for characters. Perhaps this man would have an interesting hair color, or   
a nose that she would give one of her future characters. Her heart lunged into her throat   
as Cye walked past without even glancing at the other passengers as he hurried to his   
seat.  
  
Wait, no, it couldn't have been Cye. Why would Cye be flying to Osaka anyway? She   
must have been mistaken. It must have just been the auburn hair that had made her   
mind think it was Cye. An…an optical illusion! That's all it was, and she was just   
fooling herself.  
  
Anyway, why would she want to see him now? She had to go get re-acquainted with   
her fiancé and, perhaps, she might wind up marrying Naoki. Sure, at first the marriage   
was almost called off because they didn't think that she'd ever be strong enough to have   
children and she looked like something that had, to quote Kento, "tangled with the   
wrong waffle iron."  
  
Not now though. Now she would be a big asset to the Tanaka family. She was rich.   
She was filthy rich from her books selling so well, and she was stronger than she was.   
Her doctors said that should she ever marry, there was no reason why she couldn't have   
children. Naoki had no particular girl in mind at the moment. If she and he got along   
she would probably be a member of his family within the year.  
  
Pirro wanted to throw up.  
  
"But it's not so bad  
You're only the best I ever had  
I don't want you back  
You're just the best I ever had…"  
  
The plane landed in the airport in Osaka and Pirro got off before Cye as she was in first   
class. She left the gates to find a small family holding a sign bearing her name. She   
knew it must be the Tanakas. She walked up to them and bowed respectfully as she   
introduced herself.  
  
A young man about her age gave her a small smile. Naoki. He had known she would   
be covered in scars, so that must have softened the blow of her appearance enough to   
allow him that smile. Pirro didn't know if she felt comforted by the smile or if she   
wanted to be disgusted by it. Who was he to smile at her as if they were friends?  
  
After a few pleasantries, Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka went to bring the car around as Naoki   
went to help her find her things at the baggage claim. Pirro knew that this was a ploy to   
get her and Naoki talking. She knew that she was a big check for the Tanaka's, and that   
Naoki was probably being pressured to like her.  
  
The baggage claim turned out to be a long conveyer belt that reminded Pirro of a large   
snake winding around as it displayed peoples luggage. She and Naoki found a prime   
spot right where the bags were first appearing. He was nice enough as he tried to strike   
up a conversation about her flight. She was relieved he wasn't talking about her books   
and had picked up on the fact that just because he knew her secret didn't mean that she   
wanted everyone else to know it.  
  
Naoki was handsome enough she guessed. He was no great beauty, but then again   
neither was she. His eyes were a dark blue that made her almost think of the deep blue   
of Rowen's. His hair was a light brown that was just a few shades too dark to be   
considered dirty blond, and tousled as if he never could keep it neat. He had a genial   
nature towards her at any rate, and a kind look in his eyes that wasn't totally non-  
judgmental.  
  
It seemed as if he was trying to be kind to her due to the fact she might very well   
become his wife and he were trying to pick out the good aspects of her unlike Cye did.   
Cye looked at her and she swore he didn't see the scars. Cye never had to try to pick out   
her good qualities; he saw them from the start. Realizing this, Pirro found her heart   
wrench.  
  
Two of her bags came towards them. She picked up the first one and found it was   
heavier then she remembered it being. She checked the tag and her shock caused her to   
miss the second bag and it moved on without her. The name "Mori" stared up at her in   
a familiar handwriting.  
  
No, it couldn't be. She was being paranoid. How many Moris were out there? More   
than she could count for sure. It wasn't surprising that she would come across a Mori.  
  
She then noticed that her bag was now out of her reach. "Quick, that's one of mine."   
She pointed out to Naoki. He was after it in a moment, but there was a group of people   
in his way and it went into one of the small doors and he had to wait for it to come   
around further down on the conveyer belt.  
  
It was then that Pirro noticed that she was still holding Mori's bag. She moved to   
replace it on the belt when she heard someone walk up behind her tentatively. She   
could see Naoki a small ways away trying to fight the crowd to get her bag, so it   
couldn't be him.  
  
"Excuse me miss, but I believe you have one of my bags." Came an all too familiar   
voice.  
  
"Yes Cye, it looks just like one of mine and I picked it up on accident." Pirro said softly   
as she turned to face him. The shock on his face was easy to read. She was wearing a   
hat, and from the back she looked like any other red-haired woman her age. However,   
once she turned around her face only confirmed Cye's suspicions that he recognized that   
voice.  
  
"The best I ever had…"  
  
Cye had never expected to see Pirro here. What on earth was she doing in an airport in   
Osaka when she never left her apartment? Still, here she was, handing him his suitcase.   
He forced himself to blink and take it from her as he realized he couldn't rip his eyes   
away from hers. He wanted to drop the stupid suitcase and pull her into his arms, but   
he knew that it wasn't appropriate just then. Still, he couldn't help standing a little to   
close to her just to catch the scent off her shampoo.  
  
"Pirro, konnichiwa, how have you been?" He stumbled over his words, still in a minor   
state of shock. 'Idiot!' He told himself. In all his fantasies of running into her again he'd   
spoken with eloquence. Now he sounded like a babbling fool.  
  
"I'm doing alright. How about you?" She asked, looking pained for some odd reason.   
He had hoped she'd be happy to see him.  
  
"I'm fine, I'm here on vacation. What are you doing here?" He couldn't keep himself   
from asking.  
  
Before Pirro could answer him, Naoki returned with her suitcase. He set it at her feet.   
"Can I help you sir?" He asked Cye, assuming that Cye was some man giving Pirro a   
hard time judging by the expression on her face.  
  
"Naoki, this is Mori Cye, he's an old friend of mine. It's amazing that we ran into each   
other at an airport in Osaka, isn't it?" She was trying not to scream on the inside.  
  
Naoki looked almost jealous for a moment. Still, he gave a smile and introduced   
himself. "Nice to meet you. My name is Tanaka Naoki."  
  
"The best I ever…"  
  
Tanaka? How did Pirro know…wait…Tanaka? That name sounded an awful lot like   
Tanka, which was the name Pirro had given to her fiancé in "Living through a Wall,   
Wishing on a Star." Oh. So that's why Pirro was here.  



	16. Stand Inside your love 16: Trying

Trying  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Life House wrote the song. Do own Pirro, do own   
Sasha, do own Naoki, do own whomever else I decide to randomly throw in by the end   
of this thing. Oh, and about the cliffhanger thing, I'm sorry if it bugs you, but they're   
just how the story is supposed to go, I have no control over it. I hope that makes   
sense…. But at any rate, thank you all for putting up with it and continuing to read and   
review my story. ^_^  
  
  
  
"Could you let down your hair  
And be transparent for a while  
Just a little while  
To see if you're human after all…"  
  
Naoki wished Pirro would let him past the walls she kept so carefully up around her. It   
had been a week that she'd been staying at his family's house, and Pirro had been the   
most polite woman he'd ever encountered. But that was all she'd been, and her empty   
politeness, her insisting on being careful to never make eye contact, was beginning to   
grate on him.  
  
His parents had told him several times that she was still adjusting to him, and to give   
her time – though not too much, because they wanted things to get rolling. They even   
seemed to see something that Naoki didn't when Pirro looked his way. His mother told   
him that when he wasn't looking, Pirro had once smiled at one of his comments, but   
Naoki had the sneaking suspicion that his mother was only saying that to get his hopes   
up. Pirro was so cold to him that it drove him crazy.  
  
Her lack of sincerity made it hard for him to be friendly with her. He tried on several   
occasions to get her to see that he wasn't trying to seduce her or anything, and wanted   
nothing but friendship. In all honesty he hadn't hoped for anything but friendship from   
this girl, knowing well enough that anything else would come later.  
  
In the back of his mind he kept telling himself that there had to be a way to get Pirro to   
let him get closer to her then the arms length she seemed to always insist on. He knew   
just by reading her books that there was an entire side to Pirro that she kept hidden, and   
he wanted to reach that part of her some how.  
  
For all he knew, she would be his wife within the year, and he wished more than   
anything to at least be friends with her before they married. He didn't see why that was   
such a horrible thing for him to ask of her, and couldn't see why she wouldn't want the   
same thing. He couldn't see what made him such a terrible person in her eyes.  
  
Yet even now, as he sat next to her at the dinner table, he could sense her impatience for   
the meal to be over with so she could go into the seclusion of the room she was staying   
in. She had explained over the phone before she'd even arrived that she liked to take at   
least two hours of the evening to write and work on her stories, and hoped that they   
wouldn't mind her habits.  
  
Even though his parents had been loathe to comply, Naoki had told her to go on ahead.   
He saw now that this was Pirro's way of getting away from them each day and go off   
into her own little world, her emotional safety net.  
  
During her hours of isolation, Naoki's parents had gotten into the habit of cornering him   
and finding out what he had been doing wrong to cause Pirro to act the way she did.   
Naoki wanted to scream at them some times, but didn't dare and simply lowered his   
eyes respectfully to the floor and promised to try harder.  
  
Naoki had several theories as to why Pirro did this. Number one on the list however,   
was that Naoki had actually read Pirro's books – which his parents had neglected to do –   
and knew that Pirro had already found love in her life. The man that in her book she'd   
referred to as Shin, Naoki had a sneaking suspicion that he was the one Pirro pictured in   
her mind when she actually graced them with one of her rare smiles.  
  
"Honesty is a hard attribute to find  
When we all want to seem like  
We've got it all figured out…"  
  
Naoki couldn't help feel displeased by the way he had been incorporated into the book.   
He knew that because of the engagement Pirro hadn't been able to marry 'Shin,' but that   
didn't mean she had to take it out on him.  
  
She had never even seemed to consider the fact that he himself had wanted to marry a   
nice young woman before, but because of Pirro he hadn't been able to do so. Now Haru   
had moved away. Not that it mattered anymore. Naoki and Haru had cut contact with   
each other years ago, and he doubted he'd be as attracted to her today as he once had   
been. Time just did that to a person, turning his firestorm feelings lukewarm.  
  
As he watched Pirro finish helping clear the table, then head off to her room, Naoki felt a   
moment of unreasonable anger at her for being so selfish. Couldn't she see that he was   
in the same situation as she was? If she continued to act like this, neither of them had   
any hope of being happy in this lifetime. Not as long as both of them were alive   
anyway.  
  
He noticed his parents heading towards him to see if there had been any progress made.   
Still in his irrational state he frowned at them. "I'm working on it. Don't even bother   
asking. She's only human you know, she's not just a pile of money walking around."  
  
He instantly felt bad for his outburst at them and turned his eyes down. "I'm sorry."  
  
From the look of their startled expressions, it was obvious that they'd never expected   
him to think of Pirro as anything more then they did. "Please, let me go, I have an idea   
of what I can do to get her to see of me as someone not trying to use her."  
  
Alright, in all truth, he didn't have a plan, but he was sick of this stupid game. He was   
sick of everything that was going on around him. His parents excused him and he went   
to his own room and sat down with his copy of "Living Through a Wall, Wishing on a   
Star" in his lap. He flipped to the pages that went over how Pirro – or in this book   
Edana – and Shin had gotten to know each other and fallen in love.  
  
Naoki was looking for insight as to what would make Pirro happy. He knew that he   
couldn't copy exactly what Shin had done, as that would probably make things too   
awkward for Pirro, but it was a place to start.  
  
"Let me be the first to say  
That I don't have a clue  
I don't have all the answers  
Ain't going to pretend like I do…"  
  
"He looked back over his shoulder once to see if she was following, and his oceanic eyes   
met hers dead on. No wavering to look at her scars, or to show he was only being polite.   
He just looked into her eyes." Naoki sighed as he re-read the passage that he'd once   
highlighted as one of his favorite excerpts. Had he ever looked at Pirro like that? He   
thought back over the past week and sighed again. No, the first time he'd laid eyes on   
her at the airport he hadn't. And he hadn't that night at dinner, and the next day as he'd   
given her a short tour of Osaka. Now though, he knew that even when he did just look   
at her, Pirro wasn't paying him enough attention to notice.  
  
"Perhaps it was comfort in strangers, or perhaps he just hadn't bothered to go out and   
buy himself a diary, but she soon became his nightly confidant. She didn't know how or   
why exactly, but he trusted her." Naoki was considering this passage now. Pirro had   
been won over by words said by someone who couldn't see her, but still trusted her.   
Wait, trusted her? Now there was a thought…  
  
Naoki knew he didn't trust Pirro's wavering personality. She would go from almost   
amiable to frigid in a matter of moments, but what did he do to cause such a change in   
her? Pirro was the kind of girl who was suspicious of everyone, or had been until Shin   
had calmed her down and turned her life upside-down and inside out. Perhaps that's   
what Shin's secret had been…he had trusted Pirro so openly and obviously that Pirro   
hadn't had a chance to think about it. Perhaps if Naoki let himself trust Pirro, and let   
her see that, then it could help. Yes…that's what he'd have to do.  
  
He flipped through the book, and his eyes landed on one final passage. "Shin pressed   
his lips to her forehead, then bent his head down and whispered in her ear,   
'You already are.'" You already are beautiful. Shin must have really had it bad for   
Pirro.  
  
Naoki instantly reproached himself for that thought. How could he think that about   
Pirro? He found it hard to think of her as beautiful, but he couldn't really bring himself   
to say she was ugly. She…he didn't know how to describe her. He decided he'd just   
have to get her to speak with him so he could find out what she was like, and then make   
his decision. If she'd let him…  
  
  
"Just trying to find my way  
Trying to find my way  
The best that I know how…"  
  
Naoki was now just outside the door to Pirro's room, holding a tray with two sodas, and   
some light snack food. He was checking his watch. Pirro's two hours of seclusion   
would be over in fifteen minutes, he decided it was now or never. He knocked on the   
door.  
  
"Who is it?" Pirro's voice drifted to him.  
  
"It's me, it's Naoki." Naoki answered her, and could literally feel the air between them   
turn tense.  
  
"What do you want?" Pirro asked, sounding like she was worried something might be   
wrong.  
  
"I want to know how you are." Naoki said.  
  
"You interrupted me to ask me how I am?" Pirro asked, suspicion and annoyance   
leaking into her voice.  
  
"Well, yeah actually." Naoki confessed. "And to see if you wanted a snack."  
  
Pirro was silent for a moment, and Naoki found it hard not to fidget. She startled him   
by cracking the door. "You brought me a snack?" She asked. "Why?"  
  
Naoki shrugged. "Felt like seeing if you wanted one. I even got the crackers you said   
you liked." He held the tray up for her to see.  
  
Pirro eyed him. "What are you up to?" She asked him. The look in her eyes said she   
thought he was trying to bait her or seduce her or something.  
  
Naoki sighed and lowered the tray. "Look, Pirro, I just wanted to talk with you without   
my parents around. I am tired of this crap, will you just talk to me like a normal human   
being?"  
  
"I'm not normal." She stated.  
  
Naoki was silent for a small moment, then said, "Neither am I."  
  
"How are you not normal?" Pirro challenged.  
  
"You'll never know unless you let me bring you a snack." Naoki told her.  
  
He watched Pirro ponder letting him in. Finally she slid the door open enough to let   
him pass through. With a small smile he entered the room and set the snack tray on a   
nightstand, then turned to face her.  
  
Pirro was watching him closely, not sure she liked being alone in a room with him like   
this. Not that it could be considered too scandalous, they were engaged after all. Finally   
Pirro spoke, relieving Naoki's nerves to no end. "So, why are you here?"  
  
"I told you that I'm not normal, and you wouldn't believe me." Naoki stated flat out.  
  
"Why did you first come to my door?" Pirro asked, and before Naoki could answer she   
went on, "Because I'm losing a good two pages of work here, and if this is just you   
trying to get on my good side because…"  
  
Naoki cut her off with a hand motion. "Pirro, please…Stop acting like I want to marry   
you, kill you off, and take your money. I'm engaged to you, but that doesn't mean I am   
in love with you. It means that my parents decided when I was younger that you would   
make a suitable wife for me and they signed all the right papers. Then you disappeared,   
and I found that I had no hope of ever marrying anyone."  
  
Pirro just frowned at him. "So it's all my fault that you've led an unhappy life?"  
  
"That's not what I'm saying at all." Naoki said in an exasperated tone he didn't know   
he possessed. This wasn't what he'd planned at all. Pirro looked slightly startled. Still,   
she wasn't backing down, and Naoki sighed and held his palms out. "Look, Pirro, you   
were bound to this contract by your parents, I was bound into it by mine. Neither of us   
had an option in it."  
  
When Pirro just looked at him he forced himself to go on. "And all I know about you is   
you have the best mind of any writer of our time, and you refuse to let anyone get close   
enough to you to touch that mind. You keep people at arms length. I just wanted to be   
allowed closer than that, even if it's just an inch, because if I'm going to be living with   
you for the rest of my life I'd rather have you as an ally than another enemy in my   
house." He stated, then turned to leave as he mumbled over his shoulder, "Hope you   
like the snack."  
  
Naoki got as far as the door when he heard a noise behind him. He turned slightly to   
find Pirro was standing there looking like her heart had been wrenched. "I'm sorry."   
She said softly.  
  
Naoki sighed and turned to face her. "Pirro, can't we at least talk to each other? I mean,   
how awkward will it be to exchange marriage vows and not even know the names of   
each other's pets?"  
  
"I don't have any pets." Pirro said.  
  
Naoki gave a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Neither do I."  
  
"Now you know then." Pirro told him.  
  
Naoki nodded.  
  
Naoki stood there for a long moment just looking at Pirro in silence. Pirro seemed to   
sense that he was simply taking her in, unlike how he'd gazed at her when he'd first   
seen her at the airport. Finally she fidgeted and said, "What?"  
  
"I was just wondering." He said.  
  
"What?" She asked again.  
  
"I was just wondering who your favorite author was, yourself not counting." He said.  
  
Pirro snorted. It wasn't quite a laugh, but it was close enough to get Naoki to smile.   
"I'm not my favorite author anyway." She said.  
  
"Oh yeah? Then who is?" Naoki challenged.  
  
"Yamada Taichi." Keahi stated.  
  
"Yamada Taichi? Why him?" Naoki asked.  
  
"Well…" Pirro started. "You might want to take a seat, this could take a while."  
  
With a small smile Naoki took a seat near the snack tray and handed Pirro her soda   
before listening to her talk.  
  
"Well I haven't memorized  
All of the cute things to say  
But I'm working on it…"  
  
Naoki woke up in his room with a strange contentment he hadn't felt in a long time. He   
opened his eyes slowly to adjust them to the sunlight as his mind went over the events   
of the previous evening. He and Pirro had actually sat and had a conversation for two   
hours before his parents had found them and insisted that it was far too late and that he   
leave Pirro alone so that she could get some sleep.  
  
He pulled himself out of bed and went through his morning ritual, anxious about   
breakfast, where he would see Pirro again. The night before had meant a breakthrough   
for him, but what about her? Did she see now who he was? Was he still the bad guy in   
her eyes? He could only hope…  
  
He took his seat and waited silently. He heard the uneven gait of Pirro entering the   
room and looked up to smile at her as he had every morning. He was exhilarated to see   
a smile returned for once. Nothing big or overly friendly, but a smile nonetheless.   
Perhaps, perhaps he was human in her eyes now.  
  
Pirro took her seat beside him, and pleasantly greeted him in a far more familiar fashion   
than she'd ever used before, causing Naoki's mother to raise her eyebrows and his father   
to give a half smile.  
  
Half way through the meal his mother suddenly looked up at the calendar hanging on   
the wall. "Oh! I almost forgot! Today's the day that the new neighbor comes!"  
  
Pirro glanced around, as if waiting to be filled in. "The people who own the cottage next   
door rent it out. They give us the schedule so that we can keep an eye on their property;   
make sure that the vacationers don't trash the place. The new person is going to arrive   
some time this morning. He's only going to be staying for about seven weeks. He's all   
alone, and I guess just some guy who wanted to get away from it all and relax a bit."  
  
"Isn't that what most people go on vacation to do?" Pirro asked with a hint of humor.  
  
Naoki shrugged. "Usually, though there are those who would go on vacation from their   
lives so that they can actually get a little work done."  
  
Pirro smiled ever so slightly.  
  
"Why don't you two go over and introduce yourselves to him tomorrow afternoon? Get   
an idea for who he is, and welcome him to the area." Naoki's mom suggested.  
  
"Alright, sounds good to me." Naoki said, then turned to Pirro to see what she thought.  
  
"Okay." Pirro agreed. She didn't sound overly enthused about it, but just as if it was a   
distraction. At the moment, that was good enough for Naoki.  
  
"Maybe I'll master this art form some day…"  
  
Naoki was silently cursing himself. He was such a moron and he knew it. He had   
pressed his luck, gotten a little too cocky, and now Pirro was mad at him. Not just   
annoyed, but totally ticked off.  
  
He had been talking to her that morning as she did her exercise routine to keep her   
muscles limber. He had said something wrong, he'd insulted her. He honestly hadn't   
meant to, he had no idea that his asking her about some of the characters in her book   
would make her so upset. He didn't know that she would get angry when he asked her   
about that one guy – wasn't Cye his name? – whom they had run into at the airport.  
  
Pirro had suddenly stood up from her floor stretching and walked out of the room. A   
few minutes later he heard the back door slam and he watched through a window as   
Pirro walked towards the beach behind his house. He was almost tempted to go after   
her, but then she just sat down on the sand and he felt it best to give her her space, he   
knew how much she valued her space when it came to him and his family.  
  
Naoki sighed and went to his room to think. He knew he had to apologize to Pirro soon.   
He resolved to give her a bit longer before he tracked her down and made sure she was   
okay. At the moment his pride wasn't letting him.  
  
"If I quote all the lines  
Off the top of my head  
Will you believe  
That I fully understand  
All these things I've read…"  
  
Naoki was shaken awake by his mother about an hour later. "Where is Pirro? What are   
you doing sleeping when Pirro's missing?" She was shouting at him as she continued to   
shake him violently.  
  
Naoki pried his eyes open as he sat up. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, he must have   
been more tired then he had realized from the night before. "What do you mean Pirro's   
missing?" He asked her.  
  
His mother just put her fists on her hips in an angry fashion. "What do you think I   
mean? I mean that Pirro's missing, and you had better go find her!"  
  
Naoki's brain finally caught up to his ears and the information sunk in. "I'll go get her,   
she's probably still down at the beach." He said. "She went for a walk." He explained.  
  
Under the scrutinizing gaze of his mother, Naoki left the room, went down stairs, and   
went outside in search of Pirro. He followed her footprints in the sand to where he had   
last seen her. Of course she wasn't there any more. He looked around for a bit and   
finally spotted a form moving around on the beach in the distance. He sighed and   
started walking.  
  
"I'm just trying to find my way  
Trying to find my way  
Trying to find my way  
The best that I know how…"  
  
When Naoki reached her, Pirro hadn't even noticed his presence and was staring into   
middle distance with tears running down her cheeks. "Pirro, what happened?" Naoki   
asked, instantly concerned.  
  
Pirro shook her head. "Nothing, I'm fine, it's fine, it doesn't matter…" She choked out.  
  
Naoki didn't believe her for a moment. "Pirro…" He said as he walked to her side,   
trying to get her to look at him.  
  
"I told you, it's nothing. It doesn't matter, just…Naoki, please don't make me go with   
you to greet the new vacationer tomorrow. Please, please don't make me."  
  
Naoki knew damn well that it had to be something really bad to get Pirro to almost beg,   
and to make her cry like this in front of him. "Pirro, I won't make you. I'll find   
something to tell my parents to get you out of it, just tell me what's wrong." He   
promised her.  
  
Pirro sighed. "I just don't want to see him." She said as her tears began to slow and she   
started to compose herself again.  
  
"Pirro, did you see him? Did he say something to you?" Naoki asked.  
  
Pirro shook her head, then nodded it, then shook it again, confusing Naoki to no end.   
"It's not that he did anything mean, he's not a bad person or anything, I just don't want   
to see him. You wouldn't understand Naoki."  
  
Naoki was only confused further by her words, and even more so by what she did next.   
Pirro turned to face him dead on, standing just a mere breath in front of him. Her head   
tipped back and she bored a hole into his eyes with hers. "Naoki, you were right last   
night. And I know that I've been freezing you out. I'm sorry."  
  
Naoki forgot to breath for a moment as Pirro suddenly wrapped her arms around him   
and drew him into a hug. He couldn't respond at first, then finally gathered his wits   
about him enough to hug Pirro back. "Pirro?" He asked tentatively.  
  
"Yes?" She asked.  
  
"Where did this come from?" He asked, his mind still in a bit of shock.  
  
"I got a wake up call." Pirro said. "I'm sorry, I know that you're in the same boat I am.   
You're right, we need to be friends if we're going to survive."  
  
Naoki was silent, and after a moment Pirro let go of him. They walked back to his house   
together. Naoki couldn't think what could have possibly happened to make Pirro act   
the way she did.  
  
Whatever it had been, her momentary laps in sanity had passed. Naoki no longer had   
the right to hug her again, but at least Pirro would talk to him, just so he didn't bring up   
her books, or Cye. Naoki was beginning to connect things in his mind.  
  
"Well, I haven't got it all  
Figured out quite yet…"  
  
After dinner Pirro headed up the steps to her room to work on her writing, and Naoki's   
parents rounded on him. "What did you do? What happened? She's being so nice to   
you; she's talking to you. You two spent the entire afternoon together, how is this   
possible?" The rush of questions momentarily over road Naoki's senses and he had to   
wait for his parents to silence themselves for a moment before he could speak.  
  
"I don't know what happened, but I'm not going to push my luck." He told them. "I   
just talked to her, that's all." He stood and went to his own room.  
  
After a moment he glanced out the window at the cottage down the beach and noticed a   
single light was on in the master bedroom, silhouetting the form of a young man gazing   
out the window, and apparently looking right at Naoki's house. Naoki stepped back   
from the window and thought about what this could possibly mean. Who on earth had   
moved in next door and given Pirro such a fright?  
  
"But even if it takes my whole life  
To get to where I need to be…"  
  
Almost two hours later there came a nock on Naoki's door. "Who is it?" He called.  
  
"It's me." Pirro answered.  
  
Naoki was startled for a moment, then went and opened the door. "Yes?" He asked.  
  
"Want to talk?" Pirro asked him.  
  
Naoki smiled and admitted her to his room. As he shut the door Pirro walked past his   
window to take a seat on the other side of the room. When Naoki glanced outside again   
he spotted the young man shutting the drapes and leaving the window. Naoki brushed   
this information to the back of his mind as he took his seat.  
  
"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked.  
  
"And if I should fall  
To the bottom of the end…"  
  
Pirro hadn't known what had come over her earlier on the beach when she had hugged   
Naoki, and instead of writing for the past two hours she'd been staring at her wall and   
berating herself for it.  
  
Hell, she knew why she'd done it; she had been very high strung. Seeing Cye   
unexpectedly like that had done that to her. Seeing Cye, and being scolded by Cye had   
done that.  
  
Pirro had been walking along the beach, not noticing the swimmer until he climbed out   
of the water near her. He had called her name and she'd looked at him with shock.   
"Cye?" She'd asked.  
  
He had walked up to her and they'd struck up a fairly nervous conversation, neither of   
them knowing just what to say or how to say it under these circumstances. Then, after   
close to fifteen minutes their defenses had slowly been lowered and Pirro had found   
herself asking, "So, do you want to get together some time and just hang out?"  
  
To that Cye had suddenly stiffened. Pirro hadn't known that Sasha had said those exact   
same words to him when she'd first started perusing him. "Pirro, no. You have a fiancé   
now, you need to move on." He'd told her in a tone of voice she didn't recognize.  
  
"Cye?" She'd asked.  
  
"Pirro, no. I don't want to come between you and Naoki. Go hang out with him, I have   
to go." He'd then turned and walked towards the cottage Pirro knew was being rented   
out.  
  
"Cye, I'm sorry. I know, I just wanted to see you again. Just to talk, for old friendships   
sake." She'd called after him.  
  
Cye had shaken his head. "I don't think I can live with that." He'd told her, then   
walked into the cottage.  
  
Pirro hadn't been able to stop the flow of tears that the simple conversation with Cye   
had sparked, and then Naoki had shown up. Naoki had tried to comfort her, and a part   
of Pirro's mind had decided to hell with Cye if he was going to be that way.  
  
Then she'd found herself hugging Naoki, and she felt him hug her back. Pirro was   
confused, but not so that she couldn't make up her mind that fine, she was going to   
befriend Naoki. Even if in some ways she was only doing it to spite Cye.  
  
Now here she was, talking with Naoki the way she used to with Cye. Not exactly the   
same, she didn't have the same connection with Naoki as she had with Cye, not by a   
long shot. Still, she was talking to him, and Naoki seemed to be pleased.  
  
A part of her heart was still doing this to just spite Cye, but a part of her that she hadn't   
known even existed, was pleased that she had gotten Naoki to smile. The rest of her   
looked upon that new part with contempt.  
  
"I'll be one step back to you…"  
  
Cye had watched from a back window as Pirro hugged Naoki. He had watched them   
go together into the house next door. He had watched Pirro sitting in her room, her face   
illuminated only by the light her monitor gave off, but when Pirro had moved into   
Naoki's room, Cye hadn't been able to watch any longer.  
  
Cye had shut the curtain against watching Naoki and Pirro. He had lain down on his   
bed. Then Cye had done his best not to cry.  



	17. Stand Inside Your Love 17: In a Little W...

In a Little While  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Do own Pirro. Do own Tanaka family. U2 wrote the   
song. Do love to hear from you people, so thank you all who post reviews. ^_^  
  
  
"In a little while  
Surely you'll be mine  
In a little while…I'll be there…"  
  
Pirro sighed as she sat on the edge of her futon and gazed at the wall with her face   
resting against her fist. Her visit to the Tanaka family would be over in three days, and   
she knew she should probably start packing, or at least getting her things in some form   
of order.  
  
"Hnh. Funny Pirro." She thought to herself. She had several things to get in order,   
namely her heart.  
  
For the week since she'd found Cye on the beach, she'd hardly caught sight or sound of   
him. Not since the day when Naoki had gone over to welcome Cye to the neighborhood   
anyway.  
  
Naoki had returned to the house to report that the new neighbor was a nice guy, who   
was fairly quiet and would probably not be any trouble at all. He also had told them   
that he'd offered to show Cye around the city a bit, and introduce him to some of   
Naoki's good buddies, as was sort of tradition with new neighbors.  
  
Pirro remembered that time; she had cringed inwardly and instantly made up some   
excuse to refuse to go out, and in the end Naoki had gone out with Cye and a group of   
guys, leaving Pirro alone with her soon-to-be in-laws.  
  
She found Mrs. Tanaka, Asa, to be a charming woman who would gladly catch Pirro up   
on all she'd missed about being a good and proper wife. She seemed excited to talk   
about all sorts of useless things, but Pirro let herself go along with it. No use in causing   
a spark when standing in a pile of dynamite. It would be a good idea to be on good   
terms with this woman, even if she was so mundane by Pirro's standards. She was,   
however, a kind woman – once you got past the fact that Asa was probably just using   
Pirro for money that is. Pirro sighed. That was just something she'd live with.  
  
Mr. Tanaka, Haru, wasn't very talkative towards her. He was polite, but seemed to have   
better things to do. That was all fine and dandy with Pirro, who was soon pleased to   
find that she was being excused to go to her computer.  
  
When Naoki had returned late that night he'd paused outside Pirro's room, and she   
invited him in. He'd been surprised to find her up, but seemed pleased to talk a short   
while before he went to bed.  
  
He hadn't had anything to drink, as he'd been the designated driver, and that in itself   
impressed Pirro. He had relayed to her the fact that the new guy, Cye, was really great   
to hang out with. She could see the burning question behind his eyes, dieing to find out   
what was so bad about Cye that had caused Pirro to cry the previous day.  
  
Pirro hadn't told him, and had simply cracked a small joke and changed the subject.   
The talking had gone on for a good half hour before it dwindled down into a more   
solemn kind of late-night talk. Finally Naoki had said, "Pirro, about yesterday."  
  
Pirro could still remember her heart clenching at those words. "Yes?" She'd asked,   
knowing damn well what was coming.  
  
"What happened that made you so upset? I'll admit that I invited him out to see if I   
could figure out what was so bad about him, and I couldn't find a damned thing. He   
was fairly distant sometimes, but I figured that was because he was slightly   
uncomfortable being surrounded by so many strangers, but that was all. What did he   
do to you that hurt you?" He asked, concern obvious in his voice.  
  
Pirro had sighed then, wanting to tell Naoki anything to get him off her case, but her   
mind just wasn't up to the challenge. She knew that she was so tired now that if she told   
a lie, she'd wake up the next morning and probably wouldn't be able to remember just   
what she'd told him and easily get caught in her own scandal. So instead she said   
simply, "He and I know each other, and it was just a shock to see him again."  
  
Naoki watched her for a moment. "Cye, he's the same Mori Cye that was at the airport   
when we picked you up, isn't he?" Pirro had nodded and Naoki went on. "I thought he   
looked familiar, but I couldn't place his face exactly." After a short pause where Pirro   
had found herself starting to fidget, Naoki spoke again. "Pirro, did you and he part   
company on bad terms, is that why you don't want to see him?"  
  
Pirro sighed. "You could say that. But please, enough talk about Cye…"  
  
And before she could go on, Naoki butted in. "Pirro, to make things easier on you, I will   
not hang out with Cye any more. I don't have to be his friend. He knows his way   
around Osaka now, it's not like I have to watch out for him. Pirro, what's wrong?   
Pirro?"  
  
Pirro had felt her hard shell starting to crack, just like at the beach, the talk of Cye being   
around and just hovering on the outskirts of her life was almost worse than having him   
gone completely. She hadn't even realized it, but a tear had weaseled its way out of the   
corner of her eye, and now there was nothing she could do about it but swipe it away.  
  
Naoki had grabbed a tissue from the box on her nightstand and dabbed at her damp   
cheek for her, then stopped, apparently startled with himself for being so foreword.   
Pirro had been just as shocked, as she stared at him with wide eyes.  
  
He'd handed the tissue over to her and pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry, I had no   
right."  
  
To that, Pirro had no answer.  
  
And now, sitting alone in her room, she wondered if she would act the same way now   
as she had then. Since that night, Naoki had been kinder to her then he had been during   
her entire stay.  
  
It wasn't that he had fallen for her during her moment of weakness, but it would seem   
simply that her moment of weakness had proved her to be human. Pirro had gotten the   
feeling from him that his view of her was that of some goddess because of her status as   
an author, but now she was just another chick on the street.  
  
No, now she was his chick on the street. His ring on her finger as a sign to the other   
men that she was taken.  
  
Pirro sighed heavily and glanced at the clock. She had told Asa and Haru that she   
would be writing while Naoki ran out and did a few errands for about an hour. Naoki   
would be home soon, and then they had plans to go seashell collecting that afternoon so   
that Asa could use the shells to make knick-knacks for around the house. It seemed   
knick-knacks were Asa's hobby, and this was the second time that Pirro and Naoki had   
been sent on such an endeavor.  
  
This time however, Pirro found herself looking foreword to it.  
  
"In a little while  
That hurt will hurt no more  
I'll be home, love…"  
  
Cye was walking from the water back to the cottage with a towel draped over his   
shoulders. He hated to leave the sea, but he knew his limit, and he needed to give   
himself a break and get something to eat before he starved himself.  
  
He glanced up and saw a car pull into the driveway of the house down the beach. The   
Tanaka house, he corrected himself. The household that would soon include his Pirro   
among its ranks.  
  
Cye shook his head at himself; angry that he still considered her to be his own, when she   
now belonged to the young man that was climbing out of the car while Cye watched.   
He waved back as Naoki sent him a neighborly greeting, then went into his house. Cye   
stared as the door slammed shut behind Naoki, only able to pry his eyes away and go   
into his own cottage after he'd managed to convince himself that it was worth it to take a   
single step.  
  
Cye knew Naoki was a good man, and would be kind to Pirro. In all honesty, Cye had   
only agreed to go clubbing with Naoki as a means to check him out and make sure the   
guy would be good to Pirro. And Cye had only agreed to go once he had realized that   
Naoki hadn't recognized him from the encounter at the airport.  
  
Cye was at least relieved to find that Naoki was an honorable man at any rate, and by   
asking the right questions, had gotten Naoki to talk a little bit about Pirro without   
rousing the other man's suspicions.   
  
Naoki had nodded. "Yes, I have a fiancé."  
  
One of Naoki's buddies then snickered. "One that has been running around missing for   
years, eh?"  
  
Cye had raised his eyebrow questioningly, and Naoki had clarified. "Pirro, that's her   
name, had a family tragedy when we were young, and she went to live with her ailing   
aunt and take care of her cousin – who was only three at the time – while her aunt   
recovered from a car crash. While she was there, her parents sadly perished in a car   
crash, and our families lost contact with each other." Naoki explained. "We only   
recently managed to re-locate each other."  
  
So that was the story that people were being fed. Interesting. Not too original, but   
tragic enough that there were few who would question it. Cye had been tempted to ask   
more on that subject, but opted for a change in tactic. "So, how is Pirro doing then?"   
Cye had asked.  
  
"She's fine. She's really a sweet girl, very kind." Naoki had said.  
  
"Too bad she's not too pretty." That same buddy commented. By that time Cye had   
decided that this particular friend had had one too many drinks.  
  
Naoki had frowned. "She's pretty enough." He'd said in an angry voice, and the   
conversation had ended there.  
  
Cye had to admit, he doubted Naoki would be cruel to Pirro when he heard that, and   
now he held a hope that Pirro could find happiness in her marriage. Hope, but at the   
same time, he hoped that something would happen and Pirro would be able to return to   
him instead.  
  
Cye shook his head as he tried to clear his mind and he dragged his feet into his cottage   
and paused inside the doorway to rid himself of the sand that clung to his feet and   
ankles. He knew that Naoki could make Pirro happy, and he had to force himself to   
accept that. He had to, or go mad.  
  
He decided to use his calling card to call Kento. He'd told his best friend about finding   
Pirro the day he'd run into her at the beach, and Kento had insisted on having contact   
with Cye once a day. Cye suspected Kento was worried about Cye's mind snapping,   
but on the contrary, Cye knew he could survive this one as well. At least this way he   
could know Pirro was safe. Cye picked up the phone as he convinced himself that he   
was thankful for at least knowing Pirro would be okay, and that he could take comfort   
in that and be able to move on with a lighter heart. Well, he tried to convince himself.  
  
"When the night takes a deep breath  
And the daylight has no air  
If I crawl, if I come crawling home  
Will you be there?…"  
  
Cye watched from the window of the room he'd dubbed as his study as Pirro and Naoki   
chased each other around on the beach around the breaking waves. He was glad he'd   
come inside when he had.  
  
He hadn't come here to spy on Pirro, honestly. There was a window well here where he   
could sit and read, or just watch the sea roll in, or both. The open book in his lap was   
proof enough of his original intentions, but he'd glanced up to see two forms emerging   
from the back of his neighbor's house, and he had instantly recognized Pirro's form. He   
hadn't been able to help himself; his earlier vows to let her go were discarded on the   
floor at his side.  
  
He could tell by the way Pirro intentionally kept a good distance between herself and   
Naoki that she was treating him with caution still. He wasn't too surprised; he knew   
how Pirro could be. Hell, it had been months before she had even let him see her for the   
first time! But then, then Cye felt his heart wrench in his chest as he watched their   
carryings on.  
  
It would seem that they were collecting seashells, and had both gone chasing after the   
same one as a wave began to sweep it back to the sea. Neither of them had gotten the   
shell, though both of them had soaked their cloths. This had sparked a water fight   
between the two of them, and they were now splashing each other and laughing. Before   
Cye's eyes, Pirro had gotten a good hit on Naoki, then taken off down the beach.  
  
Naoki had swiped the water out of his eyes, then given chase. Every time it seemed   
he'd have Pirro, she'd dodge, and the sand would slow Naoki down enough that she'd   
managed to evade him for almost two whole minutes before he'd caught her with an   
arm around the waist. Cye cringed, assuming that a fight would erupt from that move   
on Naoki's part.  
  
Cye didn't know if he was disappointed or not when Pirro had simply laughed and   
didn't turn around and slap Naoki when he picked her up and spun her around once   
before setting her back down, deciding that he had paid her back for winning the water   
fight.  
  
No, Cye was shocked to find that Pirro was still laughing, not angry with Naoki for   
being so foreword. Then again, he knew that Pirro and Naoki spent a long time each   
night just talking to each other, and perhaps Pirro had let Naoki become a substitute for   
himself.  
  
Yes, that's what it had to be. No way could Pirro find love with Naoki. Or could she?   
Could she?  
  
Cye found himself wondering if Pirro had really replaced him in her heart. He   
wondered if Pirro and Naoki were close enough that Pirro would let him hold her in his   
arms the way Cye used to. Cye wondered if Naoki ever noticed the way that her   
eyebrows knitted together slightly to form a small frown whenever she was in a bad   
mood but didn't want anyone to know, the way Cye did. If Naoki knew that when she   
suddenly stormed off that the best thing to do was to follow her until she finally stopped   
running on her own, and then to just sit there by her silently until she was calmed down   
enough, to pull her into his arms and hold her until she smiled in spite of herself. If   
Naoki knew that behind all the fiery remarks and hardened expressions Pirro was really   
just a shy girl who wanted to fit in as much – if not more than – anyone else. If he knew   
that Pirro was worth her quirks, because they were just a part of her charm, and that   
once she captured your heart there was no escaping, like Cye did.  
  
Cye didn't have to wonder if Pirro had let Naoki kiss her though. As he watched, Naoki   
and Pirro stopped laughing together, and Naoki seemed to have a moment of bravery   
where he leaned foreword and placed a kiss on Pirro's lips.  
  
Cye didn't know if he wanted to watch Pirro fly into a rage at Naoki, or simply smile   
and be polite as she backed away. But what he didn't want to think about was what   
Pirro did do. She let Naoki kiss her, and seemed to have kissed back slightly.  
  
The couple then seemed to have become embarrassed, and they stepped apart as Cye   
left his ledge. He needed to find a new reading room he decided as he carted his book   
off with him to the other side of the house. Yes, it would seem that Naoki had kissed   
Pirro.  
  
Cye vaguely wondered if Pirro had actually listened to him and moved on from him in   
her heart. A part of him hoped so for her sake, and the rest of him hoped not for his   
own.  
  
"In a little while  
I won't be blown by every breeze  
Friday night running to Saturday on my knees…"  
  
Pirro was still blushing as she went up to her room to change out of her wet cloths. She   
couldn't believe she'd kissed Naoki. Well, okay, Naoki had kissed her, but then she'd   
returned the kiss, and she'd enjoyed it, and she hadn't minded, and she hadn't gotten   
angry with him for it. She wondered what was wrong with herself.  
  
This was the first time she'd let Naoki kiss her, and this was the first time he'd tried to.   
Back on the beach, she'd felt free of her sorrows for one moment, as if the simple   
childish act of collecting seashells brought back the time when she was little and had no   
real worries. The youthful game of chase was also just as nostalgic, and she'd been   
caught up in the moment as Naoki captured her, a big goofy grin on both their faces.   
But then came the kiss, and Pirro knew that it was over and she was being slammed   
back into her real life.  
  
She'd opened her eyes to see Naoki's midnight one's gazing at her, and a part of her   
mind couldn't figure out why she wasn't gazing into sea-colored eyes. Naoki had   
looked so young then, as if he were afraid she'd smack him, or hate him, or start   
screaming. It was strange, but Pirro didn't feel the urge to be angry with him. Angry   
with herself perhaps, but not him.  
  
She had taken a small step back from him as both their faces flushed. "Pirro?" He'd   
asked, and she could hear the uncertainty in his voice.  
  
"Yes Naoki?" She'd asked, surprised with how soft her voice sounded.  
  
"You, you're not mad at me?" He'd inquired, still reminding her of a five-year-old who   
had been caught reaching for the cookie jar and was distressed to find that he wasn't   
being reprimanded.  
  
"No." She'd said simply. She couldn't tell him why; she just knew that she wasn't.  
  
They'd shared a moment of silent understanding, both of them absorbing what had   
happened, before they had moved in unison to gather the shells they'd collected thus   
far, and in a silent agreement, gone back inside.  
  
She pulled on a dry pair of shorts and dried her hair as best she could with a towel   
before tying it back and heading down stairs. She ran into Naoki on the way into the   
kitchen to get something to drink before lounging in the living room. Pirro, though she   
hated to admit it, felt exhausted from running around like that, and she needed the   
break.  
  
"That girl, that girl she's mine  
Well I've known her since,  
Since she was  
  
A little girl with Spanish eyes  
When I saw her first in a pram they just pushed her by  
Oh my, my how you've grown  
Well it's been, it's been…a little while…"  
  
Naoki watched Pirro carefully as he sat and talked with her in his living room. He was   
still startled with himself that he'd kissed her, but he was exhilarated that she had kissed   
back and hadn't run away at him with angry fire in her eyes.  
  
For once it seemed that Pirro was acting happy to be within his house, and that alone   
made Naoki smile. The smile she'd given him at the beach reminded him of when   
they'd first met, when both of them were quite young.  
  
"Pirro, do you remember the time when I was visiting your family years and years back,   
and we thought we saw the ghost?" He asked her, as the memory was now re-emerging   
in his mind, and he felt compelled to give it voice.  
  
Pirro nodded. He noticed that although she was now keeping her distance from him,   
and on the outside it appeared nothing had changed from that morning, the air between   
them seemed calmer, more comfortable. "Yes, I remember." She said, her eyes turning   
inward to the past.  
  
"Remember how we'd run as fast as we could to our parents, and they'd only laughed at   
us, so we'd gone back outside to the woods behind your house to try to prove them   
wrong?" He asked, finding himself snickering at the memory.  
  
Pirro nodded again. "Yes, I remember that too." She took up the recalling of the story.   
"We'd gotten to the middle of the woods and couldn't find the ghost again, and we   
started getting scared, thinking that maybe the ghost was now following us and might   
hurt us." She was silent for a moment.  
  
"Yes, and we both started shaking, so scared, and we huddled together in the hollow   
trunk of an old, dead tree while we waited for the specter to leave us alone. We were   
hugging each other tightly, trying to keep the ghost from finding us." Naoki recalled,   
laughing at how foolish they had been.  
  
"Do you remember what you said to me that day?" Pirro asked, the memory only   
surfacing completely then. She'd never thought back to the time before the fire. It   
always seemed that that time had been another lifetime all together, and she had let   
herself forget. Now though, that she let the memories begin to return, it seemed that   
they were going to flood her mind with all those happy times.  
  
Naoki paused for a moment, then nodded, realizing where this conversation had just   
turned. "Yes, I remember I told you that we had to be brave and face the ghost and   
return home, and you were still too scared to leave yet, so I said that when we were   
married we'd be able to come back and chase the ghost away with the strength of both   
our families united." He said softly. "Back then I don't think either of us knew what   
marriage really meant, save for what our parents told us."  
  
"No, we didn't." Pirro said. "We were two little six year olds, scared of a shadow, too   
young to know better." She agreed. She turned her eyes on him. At first he thought   
that perhaps Pirro was going to be sad, but to his relief she gave a small smile. "We   
were silly children." She commented.  
  
He nodded. For the rest of the afternoon the two of them recounted tails of the times   
they'd shared when they were little. Naoki found himself forgetting that he should be   
keeping a polite distance between the two of them, and he couldn't help smiling at her.   
Soon though, there were no more memories between them, and they'd brought   
themselves right up to the time of the fire, and Naoki remembered standing in the sterile   
white hallway of the hospital, and hearing the nurse argue with his mother about him   
being able to go visit Pirro and give her the vase of flowers he'd picked out to bring to   
her. It seemed that Pirro still wasn't awake, and his mother said something about   
wanting to see if she was still normal.  
  
He remembered leaving his mother's side to look for Pirro himself as his mother   
continued to argue with the nurse. He spotted Pirro's parents leaving a room with a   
doctor, and he went to stand in the doorway. He saw Pirro lying on the bed, covered in   
bandages, not moving, and having all these tubes coming out of her. He'd been about to   
enter the room when a nurse caught him by the arm, causing him to drop the vase of   
flowers.  
  
The glass shattered at his feet and he was scolded for making a mess, and then dragged   
back to his mother. His mother had been furious that they couldn't visit, and even more   
furious that he'd wandered off. She'd taken him home then, her face twisted into a   
scowl.  
  
She told him that Pirro's family had requested that no one was to visit Pirro outside of   
themselves, and Sasha's family. Not even the Tanaka's should be aloud to visit, and his   
mother had taken this as a personal insult. It was a week later that he'd been told that   
he wouldn't be able to see Pirro until she was better.  
  
He had asked from time to time if Pirro was better yet, but he'd always been told no, she   
was still recovering. Finally he'd stopped asking, and his parents stopped talking about   
it. Then, when he'd been sixteen he'd said, "Surely Pirro must be better by now." But   
then it was too late, and his parent's hadn't been able to give him an answer.  
  
Naoki was mulling this over in his mind all through dinner, and on into the evening.   
When Pirro's two hours of writing time was finished, she made her way to his room for   
their evening talk. He'd been about to mention something to Pirro about what had   
happened to cause the rift between their families, when he glanced out the window.  
  
"What is with that guy?" He heard himself asking, causing Pirro to move to look   
outside.  
  
Just as with that first night Pirro had come to his room, the only light on in the cottage   
down the beach was in the master bedroom, and Cye's figure was present leaning   
against the windowsill.  
  
Pirro suddenly became very still as she watched Cye draw the curtain and flick off the   
light. "He was watching us." She commented.  
  
Naoki nodded. "Pirro, who is he?" He asked uneasily, his plans to speak with Pirro put   
on the back burner.  
  
"He's just an old friend." She said absently, as she sat down with her back to the   
window and her eyebrows forming a small crease. "So tell me, how often does your   
mother send you out on seashell expeditions?" She asked, stubbornly changing the   
subject.  
  
"A few times a month." Naoki answered. "Pirro, why does he bother you so? Who is   
he?" Naoki didn't want to be swayed this time, he was sick of this game.  
  
"He's no one. I haven't seen him for almost two years before this week. I think it was   
coincidence that he even rented that place, as he had no way of knowing I'd be here."   
She said. Then she changed the subject again.  
  
Naoki, however, knew damn well what was going on now. Two years eh?  
  
"Slow down my beating heart  
A man dreams one day to fly  
A man takes a rocket ship into the skies  
He lives on a star that's dieing in the night  
And follows in the trail, the scatter of light…"  
  
Cye knew he was only torturing himself with by watching Pirro typing in the evenings.   
In all honesty that was the only time he watched that house any more. He spent his   
days in the water, and his evenings inside with a good book. Though he probably   
should be, he wasn't bored. He enjoyed the ocean, and never tired of it. It was the   
evenings that were rough, knowing that he couldn't go next door and talk until the wee   
hours of the morning with Pirro.  
  
He was surprised by the knock on his front door at ten in the morning however, and   
even more surprised to find Naoki standing on his doorstep when he opened the door.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asked.  
  
"You're Shin, aren't you?" Naoki asked, point blank.  
  
Cye was too startled to say anything at first. He knew that Shin was the name Pirro had   
given him in her book, but it still took a moment for his mind to register just what Naoki   
was asking. "Excuse me?" He wound up asking, trying to be sure he'd heard Naoki   
right.  
  
"You're Shin, you're the one Pirro's in love with, aren't you?" Naoki asked.  
  
Cye was instantly wary, not sure just how to handle this situation. Finally Cye could   
only answer, "I am the one Pirro based the character Shin on."  
  
"Turn it on, turn it on, you turn me on…"  
  
Pirro was typing at her computer, trying to figure out how to handle Naoki in her heart.   
She couldn't think of him as someone to love yet, not the way she loved Cye. Perhaps,   
perhaps this was a new kind of love. A love that was just waking up in her heart; a love   
that was born of those who have to learn to survive with each other. Perhaps she could   
learn love for Naoki. Yes, she could. She knew she could. She knew he had turned on   
her heart again. Then she stopped typing for a moment.  
  
What was she thinking? How could she love someone when it wasn't Cye? She shook   
her head. She knew how. She knew that she could love both of them just so it wasn't   
the same kind of love – which it wasn't – and it wasn't like she'd see Cye again soon.  
  
Pirro glanced at the computer monitor in front of her. Just as long as it was love from   
Naoki's end. She had over heard Asa and Haru talking the day before. It would seem   
that they're excited about Naoki's progress in winning her over. A part of Pirro couldn't   
help but wonder if this were all just a ploy to get her money, and to make her think she   
could be in love with Naoki so that she would trust him. Well, she wouldn't put it past   
some people.  
  
Pirro sighed. She decided that she could let herself have fun and play the flirting game,   
but she had better not expect too much from Naoki. Nothing at all. Nothing good   
anyway.  
  
She had no idea that Naoki was at Cye's house at that moment.  
  
"Slow down my beating heart…"  
  
Cye had invited Naoki in so that he didn't have to stand outside. Naoki had only   
nodded at Cye's revelation, and Cye didn't know if he was relieved or not. Naoki was   
now sitting in front of him. "I guess I just wanted to talk." Naoki said. "I don't want to   
start a fight with you, I don't want to start anything with you. I just wanted to know, I   
don't know where to go with this from here." Naoki trailed off.  
  
Cye nodded once. "I understand. I know she's yours. I know that you will treat her   
well, but just don't use her."  
  
Naoki's head snapped up. "Use her? You think…" Realization registered in Naoki's   
mind. "Not me. My parent's maybe, but not me."  
  
Cye frowned. "I know she's not the most desirable woman on the market because of her   
scars, and I know that you stuck up for her to your friend, but I also know that she's a   
big check as well."  
  
Naoki put his hands up in submission. "I know this, but it's not like I have a choice!   
The marriage was arranged long before the fire."  
  
Cye inspected him for a moment, then decided to at least pretend to believe him, and   
make his final decision later. "What do you want from me Naoki?" Cye finally asked.  
  
"I don't know." Naoki said. "In all honesty, I just wanted to know why you kept   
watching the house. I know how Pirro feels about you, and what happened between   
you two, and I guess I'm responsible in part for what had happened. I guess I also   
wanted to confirm my suspicions."  
  
"Well, have you?" Cye asked.  
  
Naoki nodded. "Yes. I guess I should take my leave then."  
  
Cye gave no visible sign that he'd heard Naoki, his face remained stoic. "Then just   
promise me something."  
  
Naoki nodded. "What?"  
  
"Promise me that you'll do everything to make her happy. You are the luckiest man in   
the world; you are the one who gets her. Make sure you are worthy of her." Cye said.   
When Naoki nodded, Cye showed him to the front door.  
  
"Slowly, slowly love  
Slow down my beating heart  
Slowly, slowly love…"  
  
Now that Pirro had started thinking that Naoki might be wanting her only for her   
money again, she couldn't stop. She didn't like thinking this about him, but it put her in   
a bad mood and now she was getting suspicious. She knew that Asa and Haru had a   
strong influence on their son, and perhaps he was like them after all.  
  
When Naoki knocked on her door she jumped, startled. "Come in." She called,   
glancing up from her computer. Naoki walked in, and he didn't look like he was in a   
good mood either. "Bad day?" She asked.  
  
Naoki shrugged. "Pirro? Can I ask you something?"  
  
Pirro eyed him for a moment, then nodded. "Sure."  
  
"What am I to you?" He asked, point blank.  
  
Pirro frowned slightly. "You are my fiancé, and I hope you are a friend." When Naoki   
only nodded, Pirro found herself asking, "What am I to you?"  
  
"My fiancé. My friend. My fire-haired friend." He said.  
  
The tone of his voice made it obvious that he was only referring to her name and the   
color of her hair, but it still made something twist in Pirro's gut when he said that. She   
hadn't realized she'd been frowning until Naoki apologized.  
  
"I had no right to say that, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" He started.  
  
"I know what you meant." Pirro told him, brushing it off. Naoki knew that his words   
were still there inside her head, but that he wouldn't win this one.  
  
He sat next to her on her futon. "You're leaving tomorrow to go back home." He said,   
and she nodded. "You want me to help you pack?" He asked her. She sighed and   
consented. Finally Naoki just put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. "Are   
you thinking about Shin?" He asked softly after a long moment of silence.  
  
Pirro nodded, then frowned and moved to pull away from him and scold him, but   
Naoki didn't let her go. Instead he turned so he could look into her eyes. "Pirro, I'm   
sorry. I wish it was his ring on your finger as well, because then you could be happy."   
He said frankly.  
  
Pirro frowned, and this time he let her pull away. "But you wouldn't want that, because   
then you couldn't touch my fortune." She told him coldly.  
  
Naoki felt like he'd been slapped for the second time that day. He knew why everyone   
though he was using her for her money, but it just wasn't true!!! He was getting so sick   
of this assumption that he wanted to scream at Cye, and Pirro, and his parents, and the   
rest of the world that believed the lie! This time he frowned at her and stood up.   
"Pirro," He started, but decided it just wasn't worth it. He turned and walked out the   
door, leaving Pirro to silently stare at the empty space he had just occupied.  
  
Pirro stood up and started to pack her things.  
  
"Slow down my beating heart  
Slowly, slowly love"  



	18. Stand Inside Your Love 18: The Sacred a...

The Sacred and Profane  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own   
Pirro. Do own the Tanaka family. You get the picture.  
  
  
  
"Give me tears  
Give me love  
Let me rest  
Lord above."  
  
Pirro finished packing the last shirt. Everything else she would have to pack in the   
morning before catching her flight back home. The past two weeks had been an   
emotional roller coaster, but now they were over and it was back to the apartment. This   
time though, it would be to get her things in order. She knew that when she went down   
to dinner in a few moments she would be sitting down with Naoki's parents and setting   
a date for the wedding. She knew that even though she was angry with Naoki at the   
moment, she'd still be marrying him.  
  
She didn't really have the choice. Sighing, she snapped the clasps on her suitcase down   
and sighed, noticing that it was the same suitcase she'd mistaken for Cye's at the airport   
on her way to Osaka for her visit. She glanced out her bedroom window at the place   
Cye was renting and noticed his form moving across a window as he walked past it.  
  
She knew that this would be the last time in her life she would ever see Cye. She knew   
that she'd be coming back to Osaka just as Cye was leaving. She'd be moving in   
somewhere here with Naoki, and Cye would be hanging out with Kento somewhere.  
  
She knew that she would never throw away this suitcase even if the snaps rusted away   
and the handle broke off. This suitcase would be all she had left of Cye. She'd already   
taken all her pictures with him in them and duct taped them into a shoebox. She'd kept   
the shoebox, but still. Some how, to her mind, this suitcase would be more tangible than   
a picture.   
  
She put the suitcase next to the others near her door, then went down to dinner.  
  
"Send the bored  
Your restless  
The feedback scarred  
Devotionless."  
  
Naoki frowned when Pirro walked in the door and sat down next to him, earning him a   
sharp look from his mother. His mother smiled at Pirro, and Pirro politely chatted about   
nothing important.  
Naoki thought he would throw up. Finally the discussion he'd known was coming   
began the moment his mother said, "So Pirro, it's a shame you're leaving tomorrow.   
We'll all miss you. When might we be seeing you again so that we might work out our   
decisions?"  
  
Pirro had said simply, "Why don't we agree now upon a date for the wedding, so that I   
might know when to have my belongings packed to move to Osaka."  
  
The look of delight on his mother's face had been enough to push Naoki to the very   
edge and he could feel the ground crumbling away beneath his feet. He knew why Pirro   
was doing this. It all was quite clear.  
  
Pirro was living up to the expectations of society, but he also knew that she was trying   
to prove herself right; that his family was only in it for the money. Damn her! He knew   
that's what his parents wanted. He knew he had to show her that he wasn't in it for the   
money. He just liked her, and happened to be engaged to her.  
  
He knew that it shouldn't be himself that got to marry Pirro. He knew that there was a   
man living in the rented cottage down the beach that should have the privilege, but the   
fact remained that, apparently, Naoki would be marrying Pirro on July 18th.  
  
Right in front of him it was settled. He watched as if in a trance as Pirro and his mother   
actually shook hands as if this were some sort of distorted business deal. As soon as   
dinner was over, Naoki followed Pirro to her room.  
  
"You're all a part of me now  
And if I fall  
You're all a part of me now  
In the sun  
You're all a part of me now  
You're all a part of me now."  
  
"What do you want?" Pirro asked him coldly as she opened her door to enter her room,   
but didn't turn to face him.  
  
"What do you think you just did?" Naoki demanded, following her in.  
  
"I set the date for our wedding, if you didn't notice. I'm sure your mother will be happy   
to fill you in on all the details. As for me, I'm tired and I would like to get some sleep   
before my flight tomorrow." Pirro replied snidely.  
  
"What's wrong with you? You're so angry with me! What did I do? Yesterday you   
were almost happy to be here, and now you're bitter." He challenged her.  
  
"I got a wakeup call." Pirro said simply. "Now I must get some rest."  
  
"Pirro, don't give me that. What happened? Don't push me away Pirro, I've already   
told you that I'm not in this for the money, but the same reason you are." When Pirro   
just stared at him he went on. "I can tell that you don't believe me, do you?" The tone   
of his voice made it more of a statement then a question.  
  
Pirro shook her head. "Naoki, I know you mean well, and I believe you when you say   
you may want to be friends, but I also believe that you want my money, because I know   
for certain that I'm not beautiful to you."  
  
Her words stung like a bee sting. "Pirro." Naoki tried not to growl. "That isn't true."  
  
"Oh, you think I'm beautiful? You think that this face is beautiful?" She was obviously   
doing her best not to scream at him through her clenched teeth and draw Asa and Haru   
running to the room.  
  
Naoki decided to disregard everything he'd been thinking about Pirro up until that   
point and instead just pulled Pirro into a bear hug. "Pirro," He said in the softest tone   
he could manage at that moment. "I know how much my family has hurt you, but   
please don't try to fight me. Please stop hating me. Please stop making me into the   
enemy. I'm not the bad guy Pirro!"  
  
"You didn't answer my question." Pirro growled low in her throat. She knew she   
didn't have the strength in her arms to push Naoki away and fight him physically, and   
she hoped it wouldn't come down to that.  
  
"That's because I'm getting there Pirro." Naoki told her, then paused to take a big   
breath and force himself to calm down. He loosened his grip on Pirro now that she'd   
stopped struggling against him, and was at least relieved to find that she was resting,   
relaxed against him. "Pirro, it isn't your face that I care about. I never did. And it's not   
because of the money. Pirro, whether you looked like Marylyn Monroe, or like yourself,   
or like Jane Doe, or someone who's lived in the sewers their entire life, it wouldn't   
matter, because I'd be engaged to you anyway. Stop hating me Pirro, because I don't   
have a say in whether we marry or not, and I never did. Stop blaming me for the fact   
that.." He paused, then could only whisper the last part of his sentence. "That it's not   
Cye who's holding you."  
  
When Pirro sucked in a sharp breath, Naoki went on. "I know that I'm a poor substitute   
for the man who called you beautiful from the get go, but I'm trying here Pirro. I'm   
trying to be your friend, because what else is there?"  
  
"My wealthy widower?" Pirro asked him.  
  
"I pray that never happens." He stated.  
  
Pirro didn't know if she wanted to believe him or not at that moment. She knew then   
that Naoki had figured out her dirty little secret, but she didn't care. "Then let me go   
home. I'll see you within the month. We will be married then, and we'll see if all your   
fine words are true."  
  
Naoki nodded, then kissed the side of Pirro's scarred face. "Then I shall meet you in   
Toyama to help you move everything here." Naoki said. "And I'll start scouting out an   
apartment for two that we can move into until we have things settled and ready for a   
family.  
  
Pirro went ridged at the mention of family. "Why not buy a house? We can afford it.   
Why not have our own home?"  
  
"No Pirro, you can afford it, my job doesn't pay as much as yours." Naoki told her, then   
he kissed the side of her face again and left the room. Pirro stood there in a stunned   
state of flabbergast.  
  
"Will our love ever be enough  
Just in time to prove  
Will our words ever be enough  
Just in time to lose."  
  
Cye had seen the Tanaka's loading up the family car with Pirro's things, and figured   
that she was heading back to Toyama. He didn't know if he was relieved that now she   
wouldn't be right there all the time, or if he felt loss at seeing her go.  
  
Probably a little bit of both.  
  
He had decided to intentionally watch her pull away, as he decided to at least wave   
good-bye from the shadows. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her until he'd   
seen her again. He knew that he'd probably never get to see her again, and he doubted   
he'd even have the will to look at her if he did run into her down the line.  
  
Before his eyes, Pirro hugged Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka good-bye, and climbed in the car   
with Naoki. He watched Naoki's eyes following Pirro around, and he wondered if   
Naoki cared about Pirro even more than he'd suspected.  
  
Cye gave a small wave of farewell from his secluded hide away, and watched as the car   
drove Pirro out of his sight and out of his life forever. He shook his head and turned to   
go change into his swim trunks. He just needed to go for a long swim.  
  
"Give me sight  
And barren breast  
Pure snow  
And happiness."  
  
Naoki thought back to a week ago when he'd dropped Pirro off at the airport. Just   
before she'd boarded the plane she'd turned to him at the gate and given him a small   
hug. Nothing big, nothing that lasted to long, but the fact that they were in public when   
she'd hugged him had escalated the worth of that hug to the price of a diamond to   
Naoki. He still remembered the feel of her in his arms, and the way she'd glanced back   
at him when she'd walked through the gates to the plane.  
  
He'd stood there and watched her plane take off from the window of the airport. Then   
he'd gone for a long drive through the city, and finally to the back roads around his   
house, just like he was doing now. The entire time he'd been thinking of Pirro. He   
hadn't realized how it would feel like he was driving back to an empty house without   
Pirro there, but he didn't want to go home quite yet. Not without her to go home to.  
  
He didn't want to think of what he felt for Pirro as love, because he knew that wasn't it.   
He wanted more to think of it as the potential for love. He knew her heart would   
always belong to Cye, but he could still make her happy in some way. He'd have to. He   
was going to be living with her for the rest of his life.  
  
Suddenly an idea dawned on him and he turned his car away from his house. He knew   
what he would have to do. He knew exactly what he would have to do.  
  
"Give me time  
Give me peace  
And I will prove  
My release."  
  
Cye was woken up early the sounds of shouting coming from the Tanaka household.   
He'd left his window open that night, and now the shouts were reaching his ears. He sat   
up and went to the window to see Naoki storming to his car as his parents shouted at   
him, sending rapid insults his way.  
  
"You're so selfish! Why not think of Pirro some time?" He growled at her.  
  
"How can you say that? How can you have done this?" His mother demanded.  
  
"How dare you go against us!" His father bellowed.  
  
Naoki just got in the car and backed out of the driveway. Cye watched as Mr. and Mrs.   
Tanaka went back in their house, both of them beat red in the face. Cye frowned. He   
wondered just what Naoki had done to provoke his parent's anger in such a way,   
especially since it seemed to have so much to do with Pirro.  
  
Cye shut his window and went down stairs to get some breakfast. He was wondering if   
he should bother asking Naoki himself later. He shrugged his shoulders to himself as he   
poured a bowl of dry cereal and plopped down in front of the table. Whatever it was, he   
had to make himself remember that it wasn't his place any more.  
  
"You're a part of me now  
And if I fall  
You're a part of me now  
Trapped in the sun  
You're all a part of me now  
You're all a part of me now."  
  
Pirro got the phone call around eight o'clock the previous night that Naoki was coming   
three days early. He was in a rush when he spoke to her, and she was left in wonder.   
She had quickly straightened up the apartment and prepared the couch for Naoki to   
sleep on, and now she was sitting at the airport, waiting for his plane to arrive.  
  
She spotted him as soon as he passed through the gate; his hair looking even more   
tousled than normal, and the circles under his eyes suggested he hadn't had much sleep   
lately. She stood and approached him, noting the way his eyes seemed to lose a bit of   
their tiredness when they spotted her, as well as the fact that he was obviously   
brimming with excitement and had something he was planning.  
  
All the signs were subtle though, so she bit her tongue when it came to asking, and she   
took his arm when it was offered. "Welcome to Toyama." Pirro said as they exited the   
airport and headed to the awaiting taxicab.  
  
When they arrived at the apartment building, Pirro finally conceded to let Naoki pay the   
cab fair and then showed him inside. She wondered if he'd yet realized that she wasn't   
as happy with him being there, as he seemed to be. She had honestly just let him come   
because he seemed so hurried on the phone. Finally she had to ask, "So, why the change   
of plans such that I am graced with your presence so early?"  
  
Naoki sighed as he took a seat on the couch. "Well, in all honesty, at the moment it is   
better for me to not go home until it all blows over. I managed to anger my parents, and   
they don't wish to speak with me at present."  
  
Pirro cocked her head. "What have you done to anger your parents so?"  
  
"Listen to you! You've been hanging out with my mother too much. Is this the way she   
told you to speak to me?" Naoki accused her, avoiding her question entirely.  
  
"You're right. I'll be normal now." Pirro agreed, but wasn't thrown off the path   
completely. "What did you do to get them mad?"  
  
"It's nothing important." Naoki told her. "Not now anyway. They'll get over it by the   
time we return to Osaka."  
  
"If I am to be your wife, you shouldn't keep secrets from me." Pirro scolded him. She   
wasn't in a good mood that he was marring what good graces there were between   
herself and his parents.  
  
"It's a long story, and I'll tell you tonight. For now, shouldn't I be helping with   
something around here?" Naoki asked.  
  
Pirro conceded. "There's only work to be done if you swear you'll tell me tonight."  
  
"I swear." Naoki vowed, and the two of them stood up to begin deciding what furniture   
should go where.  
  
"Will our love ever be enough  
Just in time to prove  
Will our time ever be enough  
Will our love ever be enough."  
  
Naoki was all but shaking inside. He knew he'd lied to Pirro when he said his parent's   
would blow over by the time they returned to Osaka, as if this were some trifle of a   
thing that was only blown overboard by the stress of the upcoming wedding. He only   
wished.  
  
He knew his parents wouldn't forgive him for what he'd done for a good long time, if   
ever. The truth was however, that he didn't think he cared at that moment. He could   
calm them down eventually, and they had their own lives to deal with. Surely this   
would blow over in a few years at least. He just prayed that it was worth it, that Pirro   
would accept his sacrifice.  
  
In truth, that was the only thing keeping him from telling Pirro what he and his parents   
had fought about. He was afraid that Pirro wouldn't like it, or still hate him, and then   
all would be lost to him as far as his family went. As he watched Pirro stack books in a   
cardboard box, pausing now and again to skim through the pages of her favorites, he   
noted just how independent she liked to appear, doing all the work she could on her   
own and leaving him only with the things she absolutely couldn't have handled on her   
own.  
  
For a moment he wanted to go to her and tell her right then what his surprise was, but   
he didn't dare. His courage wasn't quite up to the sticking point yet, and he knew he'd   
need time to formulate just how he was going to present this.  
  
He hadn't realized until then how much he really cared for Pirro. After weeks of   
devoting himself to her completely and trying his hardest to get her to smile, being   
rewarded by trinkets of her appreciation, he'd in a strange way tied himself to her so   
that he couldn't live with out her now that he'd found how happy he was to see her   
simply smile. She was a good master, even if she didn't realize that she owned him.   
The position didn't offend him any, as he'd taken it up willingly, and the bonus was the   
fact that he knew when his work was done, he'd have Pirro in his arms.  
  
Somehow, in a strange way, it could have constituted for love. He didn't feel it was true   
love, not romantic love by any means, but a kind of devotion that underlies every strong   
relationship. In truth, he was pleased to see similer emotions play through Pirro's eyes   
when she glanced up at him. Granted he was aware that theyw ere quickly matched   
with the annoyance she couldn't completely conceal from him, but over all he knew that   
Pirro cared for him too. He didn't know how, but he knew she did, and that was what   
mattered.  
  
"You're all a part of me now  
And if I fall  
You're all a part of me now  
And if I fall  
You're all a part of me now  
Trapped in the sun."  
  
Naoki could tell that Pirro had been cooking for herself for her years of seclusion,   
because the meal she cooked up for him was delicious. He had the feeling that she'd   
made his favorite dish just because she knew that he had something waiting to tell her,   
and she wasn't going to let him forget.  
  
Finally, after several minutes of procrastinating, Naoki sighed and put his chopsticks   
down. "Pirro, I know you want to know why my parents and I aren't speaking with   
each other." Pirro only nodded.  
  
"Well, I know you believe that I'm only in this marriage for the money." He told her.  
  
"Not this again." Pirro started.  
  
"Let me finish." Naoki held a hand up. Pirro finally sat back to hear him out. "I know   
that's how you feel, and as I've said before, in truth, my parents are only entering in this   
deal for the money, especially after how your parents refused to let my family see you at   
the hospital, or have contact with you for years."  
  
"My parents? My parents only wanted the best for me, they told me your family   
refused to come see me until I was better because of the way I looked!" Pirro accused,   
not liking the way he had insulted her family.  
  
"Pirro, I remember going to the hospital to see you and not being aloud in." He told her.  
  
Pirro shut up. She frowned at him, but decided to let that slide until she had more   
evidence.  
  
"Pirro, it doesn't matter. What matters is that my parents only agreed to call you to   
Osaka instead of just suing you for running off on us because of your money. My family   
is good at holding a grudge. I'll admit that after the separation, regardless of whose   
fault it was, I was bitter towards you as much as they were. But then I met you Pirro,   
and I grew up. I did something last week that now my parents are furious with me for,   
but it does involve you." He admitted.  
  
Pirro cocked her head as Naoki stood and went to his bags. He pulled out an official   
looking envelope, pulled out a document, and placed it in front of Pirro. "Pirro, will you   
marry me?" He asked her.  
  
"You're all a part of me now  
Will our love ever be enough  
Just in time to prove."  
  
Pirro hardly heard Naoki's marriage proposal as she skimmed over the document. It all   
was official; she knew lawyers forms when she saw them. She'd seen enough of them   
over the years, and this was the genuine article.  
  
It was a pre-nuptial agreement stating that once wed, Pirro's money would remain   
Pirro's money, and no member of Naoki's family could touch it without her consent.   
Pirro glanced up at him. "You really don't care about the money?" But it was really   
more of a statement.  
  
When he simply gave his half smile, Pirro stood up and threw her arms around him.   
"You're a fool you know. You're such a fool." She pulled Naoki's head down to her   
own and kissed him.  



	19. Stand Inside Your Love 19: Anywhere Is

Anywhere Is  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Enya wrote the song. Do own Pirro, the Tanaka family,   
and any other original characters I decide to toss in. Do enjoy reviews as they give me a   
reason to go on. Okay, so I'm exaggerating on that last one.  
  
  
  
  
"I walk the maze of moments  
But everywhere I turn to  
Begins a new beginning  
But never finds a finish…"  
  
Pirro slowly opened her eyes. Her senses told her that she was lying in someone's arms,   
and her groggy mind was almost ecstatic, believing it to be Cye. Then her mind caught   
up to the rest of her senses. Her nose told her that the body beside her didn't smell   
right. He smelled like the ocean, and like sand – not too different from Cye's smell –   
however he also smelled like an old house. Not a smell from the apartment building.   
And the cologne he was wearing didn't smell like Cye's either.  
  
She tipped her head back and her eyes met the steady gaze of Naoki. She didn't know if   
she was disappointed or not. Before her mind could decide she felt the press of Naoki's   
lips against her forehead. "Good morning sleepy head." Naoki said softly into her hair.  
  
Pirro sighed contentedly. No, it wasn't Cye, but it was the next best thing. It was her   
fiancé. "Good morning." She managed to grumble out as she buried her face in his   
shirt. She didn't feel like getting up just then, not when she had to force the thoughts of   
Cye out of her head.  
  
When Naoki had given her the pre-nuptial agreement the night before, Pirro had found   
herself shocked into forgetting about Cye and she had gone a little crazy. Now they   
were lying in each other's arms after an evening of romance.  
  
They both still had their cloths on. Pirro had told Naoki that there were some things   
that could wait the month until the wedding, and Naoki had agreed as he kissed her   
hair. After all that, she now found herself embarrassed that she had thought of Cye first   
upon waking up.  
  
What would have happened had she spoken before opening her eyes? Had she   
mumbled Cye's name? What would Naoki have done then? Pirro suddenly found that   
she was angry with herself for suddenly thinking of Cye after finding tenderness with   
Naoki. Pirro suddenly felt sick, and like she couldn't go on with being with Naoki until   
she forced Cye out of her thoughts completely.  
  
She felt Naoki rubbing her back absently as she scrunched her eyes shut and pressed her   
face against his chest. She cleared her mind slowly, then finally allowed herself to   
picture Naoki in her head. There, it was Naoki, not Cye, whom she was able to think of.   
Good. She hoped.  
  
"I walk to the horizon  
And there I find another  
It all seems so surprising  
And then I find that I know…"  
  
Kento couldn't help but worry about Cye these days. Cye had gone on that damned   
vacation to get away from it all and to take a break from a place where everything   
reminded him of Pirro. Kento mentally cursed the events that had caused Pirro to show   
up in Osaka, and have her fiancé with her.  
  
Kento knew Cye was strong when it came to his inner strength. Sometimes Kento   
would almost admit that Cye was stronger than himself in that area, but Kento also   
knew that constant strain and punishment could wear anyone down. Even Cye.  
  
Kento doubted that Cye would go so far as to kill himself over Pirro, but he knew how   
Cye felt about the loss of his beloved. Cye might not die in the sense that they'd need to   
burry him, but Cye might let his heart die, and that's what Kento feared more than   
anything.  
  
Cye was the heart of the Ronins; he was the emotional support. And most of all, Cye   
was Kento's best friend! Kento hated seeing him wasting himself away like this. Cye   
needed to move on. Cye needed a girlfriend. Cye needed some serious help.  
  
He stopped walking and frowned. Up ahead he could have sworn he'd spotted Pirro.   
Kento picked up the pace and kept his eye on the couple up ahead. Yep. It was Pirro.   
They guy next to her must be that Tanaka Naoki fellah. Kento had to grit his teeth to   
keep from going up there and throttling the guy.  
  
Kento decided he'd take a different route home that day.  
  
"You go there you're gone forever  
I go there I'll lose my way  
If we stay here we're not together  
Anywhere is…"  
  
Cye couldn't bring himself to go swimming today. The sky was clouded over, and   
laziness seemed to have seeped into his bones, making his limbs feel as if they weighed   
a hundred pounds each. He remained curled up in bed long after his bedside clock told   
him that the morning had come and gone. He knew he should at least take the time to   
go through his katas, but that would require energy he didn't think he had.  
  
It had taken him two years to build himself up enough to not constantly think of Pirro,   
but now he had been shoved backwards into the pit of depression. And now he didn't   
even have the hope that Pirro was thinking of him to get by with. He knew she was   
with someone else, and that thought made Cye sick to his stomach.  
  
When the clock informed him that it was two in the afternoon, Cye finally chided   
himself for acting like Rowen, and pulled himself out of the bed. In doing so, he   
tightened his resolve to get his life back together. He had one month left before he had   
to return to work and his normal life. He had one month to get himself together.  
  
"The moon upon the ocean  
Is swept around in motion  
But without ever knowing  
The reason for it's flowing…"  
  
Pirro's smile was enough to make Naoki's heart flutter up into his throat as he listened   
to her spin a tale of a young boy who had gotten himself lost in the woods. It was a folk   
tale from some other country he wasn't sure he could pronounce, but he enjoyed   
listening to Pirro take him through it, and the way her eyes sparkled as she did so.  
  
This could make him forget the pit of dread in his stomach. He could stand to wait to go   
home and face his parents. He'd called home the night before and his mother had told   
him his father was too angry to speak at the moment. She had said she'd consider   
forgiving him later, but for him to come home with Pirro so that they could talk it out.  
  
Naoki knew that 'talk it out' most likely meant that he and Pirro sat down and listened   
to his parents rant and rave until they blew themselves out before they could get a word   
in edgewise. Then, after trying to remain calm, they would be able to talk his parents   
down into a state of submission. It was a war he didn't feel up to fighting.  
  
He had no clue as to why things were happening the way they were really. Four   
months ago, had anyone asked him about him being married, he would have fobbed   
them off with the first thing that came to mind. Now though, he was happy to say that   
he would be marrying Pirro.  
  
A distant part of his mind still wondered some times if Pirro was really his, or if she   
belonged elsewhere, but he had learned to shut that part of his mind up. All he had to   
do was pull Pirro into his arms the way he was doing now, and he would be able to   
forget about those thoughts.  
  
"In motion on the ocean  
The moon still keeps on moving  
The waves still keep on waving  
And I still keep on going…"  
  
  
Haru and Asa gazed out the back windows of their house as they watched the auburn-  
haired young man swimming through the waves. They had found their son's journal,   
and they knew now why Naoki felt he owed Pirro something. They both shook their   
heads as they watched the youth move farther from shore.  
  
All these romance stories, all these tales of love conquering all, these are what the   
problem was. Their child hadn't realized that it took more than love to survive in this   
world. Love couldn't feed you. Love couldn't put cloths on your back.  
  
No, it took sacrifice, and hard work, and adaptability to make things work. Love   
couldn't do all that. Not alone. Naoki seemed to believe that he owed Pirro love, and   
that she in return should grow to care for him. It would be more than that, both Haru   
and Asa knew. It would take so much more than wishful thinking and daydreaming of   
fields of flowers to survive in life.  
  
They needed to get their boy's head out of the clouds and back to Earth. They now   
knew that their bringing Pirro into their family deprived her of this auburn-haired   
swimmer they were watching now, but she would have to survive it. So would the   
swimmer. It was a lesson that both Asa and Haru had learned a long time ago.  
  
"You go there you're gone forever  
I go there I'll lose my way  
If we stay here we're not together  
Anywhere is…"  
  
"Come on, pick up the phone! Pick up the phone damn it!" Ryo growled into the   
receiver. The worry-creased face of Sage standing next to him was all he needed to   
remind him of the importance of this phone call. If Kento didn't pick up soon, Ryo   
feared his head might explode.  
  
Mia was sitting on the couch behind him, her hands folded in her lap. Still, even though   
she feigned composure, Ryo could tell that she was about to start fidgeting any moment.   
Finally he heard the click on the other end of the line that signaled someone picking up.  
  
"Moshi, Moshi." He heard the obviously bored voice of Kento on the other line.  
  
"Kento, get over here as soon as you can." Ryo demanded.  
  
"Ryo? What's going on?" Kento asked, instantly alert.  
  
"Someone knows about us." Ryo said.  
  
"What?" Kento demanded. "Who, what?"  
  
"Just get over here." Ryo told him point blank.  
  
"I'm on my way dude." Kento's voice was followed by a click and a dial tone as he   
hung up.  
  
"He's coming." Ryo told the rest of the room.  
  
Sage only nodded once, and Mia hardly gave any sign that she'd heard him at all.  
  
"I wonder if the stars sign  
The life that is to be mine  
And would they let their light shine  
Enough for me to follow  
I look up to the heavens  
But night has clouded over  
No spark of constellation  
No Vela, no Orion…"  
  
Sage had just finished explaining to Rowen and Kento what had happened. A hacker   
had managed to break into Mia's computer, and had found out the information about   
the armors. It seemed this guy was some kind of psychopath.  
  
Mia had laid out on the coffee table the printed-out versions of several of the e-mails   
she'd received from the guy. He had managed to use the information stored on Mia's   
computer to look up information on all the Ronins. He now knew their names, ages,   
and had seen their pictures. This was not good.  
  
The most recent of the e-mails was the one that Mia held clutched in her hand. It read   
simply enough:  
  
"You super heroes think you're so big and tough. You're so big headed, but don't you   
see? Some of us wanted The Master to bring us in and fill us with his glory. I will make   
you pay for what you have done."  
  
The room was dead silent. Finally Mia cleared her throat and spoke, "I think he's in   
some sort of crack-cult that believed Tulpa was really their savior." She said grimly. It   
was obvious that she was beating herself up for having been the reason that the guy had   
found out about the Ronins in the first place, as it had been her computer.  
  
Kento put a hand on Mia's arm in consolation. "It's not your fault Mia." He told her,   
his voice already tinged with his getting-fired-up tone. He was already picturing what   
he was going to do to this guy if he ever caught 'im.  
  
"We have to warn Cye." Sage said. "We don't know where this guy is, and I'm sure   
there is a record of Cye's bookings at the hotel he stayed at before the cottage, and his   
plane tickets on the Internet. This guy has exact coordinates for Cye's location."  
  
Ryo was on the phone instantly, dialing up the cottage Cye was staying at.  
  
"The shells upon the warm sand  
Have taken from their own lands  
The echo of their story  
But all I hear are low sounds  
As pillow words are weaving  
And willow waves are leaving  
But should I be believing  
That I am only dreaming…"  
  
Pirro didn't know what to make of the message on her voice mail. It was just a low   
voice mumbling something in a language she didn't recognize, then some growling and   
the click of the person hanging up. She had Naoki listen to it, and he frowned, not liking   
this at all.  
  
"What do you think that was?" Pirro asked him.  
  
"Probably just some crank caller." Naoki said, his tone of voice revealing just how   
uneasy it made him. This was the second message Pirro had received in the past two   
days like that.  
  
Pirro tried not to shudder at the thought of some strange stalker coming after her. She   
made herself brush the thought aside as Naoki pulled her into his arms. She rested her   
head against his chest and let him calm her down.  
  
She took one glance around the apartment. It looked so different now that almost   
everything had been packed up and sent to Osaka. All that remained were her travel   
bags and Naoki's things. They were to leave to return to Osaka the next day.  
  
Pirro tipped her head back to receive a kiss from Naoki when the phone rang. The pair   
jumped apart, and Pirro reached for the receiver.  
  
"Moshi, Moshi." She said in a slightly flustered voice.  
  
"This is your fate talking." The male voice on the other end of the line said.  
  
"Excuse me?" Pirro asked, holding out the receiver so that Naoki could listen in.  
  
"This is your fate. You are about to die." The voice told her.  
  
"Who is this?" Pirro demanded, holding up a hand to silence Naoki.  
  
"Someone who knows things." The voice answered. "Someone who knows that your   
death will bring our enemy to his knees."  
  
"Who's your enemy?" Pirro asked in a tone of voice that sounded more like she were   
chatting about the strange weather they'd been having lately instead of her own demise.   
It made Naoki give her an odd look, and it also seemed to catch her caller off guard.  
  
"Your eternal beloved. Torrent." The voice told her, then there was a click followed by   
the dial tone.  
  
"Who's Torrent?" Naoki asked as Pirro slowly hung up the phone.  
  
Pirro just shook her head as if to clear it. How had that guy gotten her phone number?   
And how had he known about Cye? "I need to make a phone call in private. I don't   
want to involve you, in case it puts you in danger too." She told Naoki.  
  
But Naoki wouldn't hear of it. "No you don't Pirro." He told her. "I'm not letting you   
pull that one on me. I'm involved. If your in danger…"  
  
Pirro cut him off. "It's not because I don't want you to know, it's because I'm honor   
bound to keep the secret." She informed him. "It's because this is not for me to tell   
you." She gave him a look of pleading, hoping for if not understanding, at least   
agreeing to give her privacy.  
  
Naoki sighed and went into the next room. Pirro quickly dialed the cottage's number.   
In a moment of weakness she'd discovered it and kept it when she was at Naoki's. She   
was praying that this whole thing was one of the ex-Warlords playing some sort of   
practical joke. She didn't know why they'd involve her after all these years, but it was a   
desperate hope. The phone rang three times before she heard, "Moshi, Moshi." On the   
other end of the line.  
  
"Cye, it's me." Pirro choked out. It was hard to do this after so long having silence   
between them, but this was an emergency.  
  
"Pirro?" He asked. "What's going on?" He was obviously confused and concerned all   
at once.  
  
"I just got a phone call. Some wacko just threatened to kill me, and he said it was to get   
to you. He referred to you as Torrent." She told him point blank. She didn't think she   
could stand the charade of the normal social pleasantries.  
  
"Shimatta." Cye said. Pirro was partially startled that he'd swear in front of her. When   
she didn't respond, Cye went on. "Listen, there is this group of crazies in some sick cult   
that are after the Ronins." After a deep breath Cye went on. "Pirro, where are you?"  
  
"At my apartment. But we're leaving for Osaka tomorrow." Pirro told him.  
  
"Alright. I'll check the flight times and call the others. No one has to know that we're   
there, but I'm going to make sure that no one hurts you." Cye hung up, leaving Pirro   
feeling cold inside. What had Cye meant by that?  
  
She went into the kitchenette where Naoki was waiting and she told him that everything   
was going to be all right. She made up some story she knew she'd pay for later just to   
get him off her back.  
  
"Alright, if you say so." Naoki told her. "At least tomorrow we're leaving to go to   
Osaka. I doubt they could track you down there."  
  
Pirro nodded. "The ticket is in your name, right?" She asked him. He nodded. "Then   
I'm going to buy a ticket to Kyoto." She told him. "One fore a plane that leaves   
tomorrow and will be in my name."  
  
Naoki frowned. "You'd spend all that money to by a plane ticket no one will use?" He   
asked.  
  
"If they can track me down here, then they can track the plane tickets. This way the guy   
will know I'm not here, and would look for me in Kyoto. See?" She said, praying that   
her plan would work. "It's the old wild-goose-chase game."  
  
Naoki mulled it over for a moment, then nodded. "Don't you think we should call the   
police?" He asked her.  
  
Pirro instantly bulked. "No!" Then calmer, "No, then they'd get the press involved, and   
they'd figure out that I'm Julie Shudder. Then it will be all over every where and our   
privacy would be over and done with for the rest of our lives." She told him.  
  
Naoki pulled Pirro into his arms. "You don't want to go public ever, do you?" He   
asked.  
  
She shook her head. "Not till I'm dead. Then they can know. But not before then."  
  
"Alright. Then you better call up the airport and book that ticket to Kyoto before it gets   
late." He told her.  
  
Pirro nodded and rested her head back against his chest for a moment before getting up   
to do just that.  
  
"You go there you're gone forever  
I go there I loose my way  
If we stay here we're not together  
Anywhere is…"  
  
Cye had just gotten off the phone with Kento. He and the others were planning on   
stationing themselves in the Toyama airport and watching to make sure that no one   
gave Pirro and Naoki any trouble. Cye would be waiting in the airport in Osaka for the   
same reason.  
  
He was glad that his vacation ended in two days. Pirro would come here to stay, and   
he'd get to leave. Funny how that worked out. He'd get to save her life, and then leave   
her for good, for real this time.  
  
He jumped when he heard the knock on his front door. He quickly moved to answer it,   
only to find no one there, but a slip of paper had been left with a picture of Pirro on it.   
The picture had been defaced by red ink, showing a gaping wound in her chest. There   
had been an "x" drawn over each of her eyes, and there had been blood drawn in   
dripping down the corner of her mouth.  
  
Cye stormed outside, but couldn't find the person who'd done it. He heard an engine   
roaring away down the road and knew he'd missed the guy completely. Cye sent   
several mental curses after them as he went back inside and double checked to make   
sure he'd locked all his doors and windows.  
  
The next morning he got up bright and early and put on some inconspicuous clothing.   
He got in his rental car and drove to the airport that Pirro would be arriving at and went   
inside. He began to wander and waited patiently for something to happen.  
  
"To leave the thread of all time  
And let it make a dark line  
In hopes that I can still find  
The way back to the moment…"  
  
Kento was watching the gates of the terminal that he knew Pirro and Naoki would be   
using. He could spot Rowen in the crowd a small ways away. He knew that Ryo was   
just around the corner from where Kento stood, and that Sage was watching the front   
entrances.  
  
Kento spotted Pirro and Naoki headed towards him with their carry on baggage in toe.   
He ducked into the crowd so as not to draw attention as they took their seats. When   
their flight was called, the pair got up and boarded the plane without any problems.   
Kento breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Ryo caught walked up beside him. "That was almost too easy." He said. "I wonder   
what's going on."  
  
Kento shook his head.  
  
"I don't trust this either." Rowen agreed as he approached them. They watched the   
plane take off.  
  
"I took the turn and turned to  
Begin a new beginning  
Still looking for the answer  
I cannot find the finish…"  
  
Pirro and Naoki got off their plane in Osaka and headed for the baggage claim together.   
Pirro finally felt that it was safe to breath easy. She was in Osaka, and all evidence   
showed that she had headed to Kyoto. Things were going well.  
  
Pirro didn't know that Cye was tailing a guy through the airport at that moment. Cye   
knew this guy was suspicious, and it was only confirmed when he spotted the guy with   
a knife in his boot.  
  
Cye figured this had to be one of the crazies. He trailed him through the crowd, doing   
everything he could to watch out for Pirro. Cye finally caught up to the guy and twisted   
his arm behind his back. "Alright, you leave her alone." Cye growled at him.  
  
The guy started laughing. "You think I'd be stupid enough to attack her with a knife in   
public like this?" He asked.  
  
"Excuse me?" Cye demanded.  
  
"You heard me." The freak replied. "Now you're here, and your beloved is on the other   
side of the airport, Torrent." Cye let him go and backed up to go chase after Pirro,   
praying that he wasn't too late.  
  
The guy in black turned and managed to slice Cye's arm as Cye was distracted. Cye   
turned and knocked the guy out. He would deal with this freak later. Right now, he   
knew he had to get to Pirro.  
  
Cye annoyed several people by barreling past them as he took off at a dead run for the   
baggage claim he knew that Pirro would be at.  
  
"It's either this or that way  
It's one way or the other  
It should be one direction  
It could be on reflection…"  
  
Pirro hefted her bag over her shoulder and turned to leave the airport. Naoki followed   
after her, glancing around the airport once just to make sure that nothing was going to   
hurt Pirro. He was beginning to wish that she'd let him call the police.  
  
Finally he let his guard down when Pirro started complaining that their taxi was late.   
"Where is that guy? You did tell them to be here at ten, right?" She asked him.  
  
Naoki nodded. "Yes. I guess they're just late."  
  
Pirro nodded. "Well, these things do happen." She agreed.  
  
Naoki glanced at his watch. "They're only five minutes late. Perhaps it was traffic." He   
suggested.  
  
"Perhaps. Or perhaps they just forgot about us." She said.  
  
"PIRRO!" Naoki heard someone shout. He and Pirro turned to see Cye sprinting after   
them. That's when Naoki began to again think that he should have done something   
more. If Cye was this worried about Pirro, something had to be up.  
  
Naoki wasn't stupid, he'd figured out by the snippets of the phone conversation with   
"Torrent" he'd over heard the night before, and by the way Pirro acted that it had to   
involve Cye.  
  
Naoki saw Pirro's eyes get wide as she spotted Cye racing towards them. Then they got   
even wider. Naoki turned to see what she was looking at, and two people dressed in all   
black had stepped in front of Cye, getting in his way.  
  
"The turn I have just taken  
The turn that I was making…"  
  
Pirro felt her mind go suddenly clear. Cye was over there, whoever was after her must   
want her to be focusing her attention in that direction. She forced herself to turn and   
look the other way.  
  
That's when she spotted the young woman wearing all black. The woman couldn't have   
been much older than Pirro, and a distant part of Pirro's mind seemed to think that this   
could have been what Sasha would have looked like if she'd been alive today.  
  
The rest of Pirro's mind simply went calm and held still, making everything seem to be   
going in painfully slow motion. She stared directly into this woman's eyes and saw   
nothing human about them. They were cold and empty. They reminded Pirro of the   
way one of her characters named Jabari's eyes looked. Jabari was insane.  
  
Then Pirro saw the gun in the woman's hand. She saw the gun slowly raise and point at   
her chest. Pirro frowned at the woman disdainfully. Then there was a small flash and at   
the same time Pirro heard the loud pop of the gun going off.  
  
"I might be just beginning  
I might be near the end."  
  
Pirro heard people screaming all around her. She forced herself to open her eyes and   
then screamed herself. She was on the ground, and there was so much blood   
everywhere.  



	20. Stand Inside your Love 20: Angels Would ...

Angels Would Fall   
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Melissa Etheridge wrote the song. Do own Pirro. Do   
own the Tanaka family. Do own the crazed anti-Ronin-pro-Tulpa-crack-cult. Do own   
any other original characters I decide to add. Do love it when people are so nice to me   
and review my stories.   
  
  
  
  
"The rope that's wrapped around me  
Is cutting through my skin  
And the doubts that have surrounded me  
Are finding their way in."  
  
The edges of Pirro's sight were blurry as she had tunnel vision of the woman holding   
the gun. She found that she couldn't move as the woman taunted her with just a gaze.   
A glance that said, "I can kill you, and that's just what I plan on doing." It froze Pirro's   
feet to the ground.  
  
Then the gunshot went off and Pirro felt it reverberate throughout her entire body. The   
next thing she knew, blood filled her vision. There was so much blood that she could   
hardly see anything else. It ran down her face and into her eyes.  
  
Pirro was sitting up ramrod straight and was instantly rewarded by a pain in her side.   
The scent of the hospital confused her at first, then she remembered where she was. The   
sterile white walls chilled her to the bone. She hated those walls.  
  
Yet at the same time they meant safety. Safety, because the danger was temporarily   
over. She wasn't in the airport any longer, but the hospital. Airport security and   
bystanders had overpowered her attacker. Cye's attacker - the one who had stabbed   
him - had also been taken into custody. She was pleased to know this at least, though   
she knew that the rest of the members of this cult were still at large.  
  
At the moment though, they wouldn't be able to get to her. Not physically at any rate,   
but they just might be winning.  
  
She turned her head slightly to see the body that lay in the bed she was sitting next to.   
The form was perfectly still, and the only sound in the room was the constant and   
irritating beep of a heart monitor.  
  
Pirro shut her eyes again and tried to force herself not to cry.  
  
"I keep it close to me  
Like a holy man prays  
In my desperate hour  
It's better that way."  
  
Kento felt sick to his stomach as he and the other Ronins as well as Mia rode the plane to   
Osaka's airport. They had gotten the call the day before, Cye explaining to them with a   
heavy heart what had happened.  
  
Cye had been sent back to the cottage after the staff in the hospital had stitched up the   
gash in his arm. Nothing had been seriously damaged, and the worst that would   
happen was Cye would get an interesting scar on his arm to tell his grandkids about.  
  
Pirro as well had been released after being treated for shock and having her side stitched   
up. A bullet had grazed her along her left side. She had also been lucky. They had   
made quick work of stitching her up, and after staying the night for observation they'd   
told her she could go home.  
  
The problem was Naoki. He'd seen Pirro turn her gaze from Cye to someone else. He   
spotted the gunwoman when he followed Pirro's line of sight, and had leapt to push her   
out of the way. The bullet that had grazed Pirro's side had done so after going through   
Naoki's abdomen. He was still at the hospital, and spent most of his time unconscious.  
  
Pirro had only left his side to go to the bathroom or when the doctors made her eat. She   
had hardly spoken more then ten words since the incident, and she refused to   
acknowledge the presence of Naoki's parents. She was starting to waste away with   
worry, and Cye had reported that she only looked alive when Naoki was awake.  
  
The good news was the doctors said he did have a chance to pull through. They   
wouldn't specify how good a chance it was though.  
  
"So I'll come by and see you again  
I'll be such a very good friend  
Have mercy on my soul  
I will never let you know  
Where my mind has been."  
  
Pirro was beating herself up again. She could never forget how she had continually   
thought about Cye when she had woken up in Naoki's arms each morning. How every   
time she'd be about to say Cye's name when she'd managed to jolt herself into   
awareness enough that she would be able to stop herself. She closed her eyes and tried   
to not think about how hurt Naoki would have felt if he had known.  
  
Pirro sat in a chair beside his bed, his hand clasped in hers. He'd been awake for about   
fifteen minutes a little while ago - though she didn't know just how long ago it had been   
since - and had asked her to hold his hand for a while. She still had yet to let go, her   
fear was too great that this might be the last time he went to sleep.  
  
Now, as she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, she wished she could take it all   
back. Naoki had done everything for her that he could from the moment she'd stepped   
off her plane in Osaka for the first time. And now, here he was, taking a bullet for her.  
  
She wondered if Jezzalyn could boast that those guys she toyed around with would take   
a bullet for her. She wondered if Jezzalyn would take a bullet for any of them. She   
wondered if it even mattered, because if Naoki died, what would Pirro do?  
  
It wasn't like she was financially dependant on him at all. She was the one who was   
paying for all the hospital bills. She could easily afford it with the way her last book   
sold, and Living Through a Wall, Wishing on a Star was still bringing in plenty each   
month now that it had been translated into two other languages.  
  
The thing was, she felt as if she'd be betraying him if she moved on. She was well aware   
of the obvious opening that she would be free to go to Cye in the event of Naoki's death,   
but she didn't know if she could. It would be like going backwards. It would be like   
betraying everything she felt about Naoki.  
  
Pirro suddenly smacked herself mentally. What was she doing? WHAT WAS SHE   
THINKING? How could she be sitting here, thinking about what she'd do when Naoki   
died? Naoki wasn't going to die! He was going to live, and they were going to get   
married in a few weeks, and they were going to have babies together, and raise a small   
family, and live on the sea shore, and every year on their anniversary go seashell   
collecting together until they were both so old that they couldn't walk any more. Pirro   
had to pause her train of thought to force herself to take a breath.  
  
There was no room in the plan for Naoki to die and leave her. Not when she'd   
discovered that she loved him. Not now that she couldn't bear to live without him. Not   
now.  
  
"Angels never came down  
There's no one here they want to hang around  
But if they knew  
If they knew you at all  
Then one by one the angels  
Angels would fall."  
  
"You are an angel." Naoki breathed so softly that Pirro wasn't sure she'd even heard it   
until he squeezed her hand, proving that he was indeed awake. Pirro lifted his fingers   
to her mouth and gave his hand a kiss.  
  
"I love you Naoki." She told him.  
  
Naoki froze, then there was a glimmer in his eye. Pirro couldn't believe that she'd   
actually made him cry, but there it was, the few small tears were sliding down his   
cheeks and disproving Pirro's theory. No, she'd not told him before just that she loved   
him. She'd said many things close to, and implied it more than once, but she'd not told   
him she loved him before.  
  
"Pirro, I love you too." He told her. "But don't talk about it now. You'll have plenty of   
time to tell me about it later, when I get out of here." He coughed a few times, wincing   
with pain each time his body was jolted by the action.  
  
Pirro only nodded as she squeezed his hand again. He smiled, then glanced around the   
room. "Those flowers over there," He nodded in the direction of a fresh bouquet.   
"They weren't there before. Who sent them?" Naoki asked.  
  
Pirro cursed mentally the fact that now she'd have to think of Cye again. "Mori Cye   
sent them." She told him in a quiet voice.  
  
Naoki glanced at her instantly. "Are you okay Pirro?" He asked.  
  
Pirro had to laugh. "You're the one in the hospital bed, not me. I'm fine. Don't waste   
your energy on worrying about me, and spend it on fixing yourself." She scolded him   
gently.  
  
Naoki sighed and asked, "Are my parents around here?"  
  
Pirro shook her head. "Your father had to go to work, and he finally convinced your   
mother to go home and get some sleep, she'll be back later tonight."  
  
Naoki just nodded once. "Alright."  
  
They talked for a short while longer, and Naoki tried to eat a little bit of food before he   
was drained and fell back asleep leaving Pirro back with her thoughts.  
  
"I've crept into your temple  
I have slept upon your pew  
I've dreamed of the divinity  
Inside and out of you."  
  
Cye met the others at the airport and they stayed in a close pack, instinctively keeping   
Mia towards the middle. They hadn't used their real names when ordering the tickets,   
and they doubted that the cult could figure out that they were arriving on that flight.   
The airport had increased security, and all of them were on high alert.  
  
Even though they doubted that the cult would attempt another attack so close to the first   
one and in the same place, they wouldn't put it past the crazy people. Fortunately they   
made it all safely back to the cottage Cye had been renting.  
  
Cye was silent most of the ride, and tried to ignore the worried glances that Kento kept   
throwing him. He let Mia take over driving, as his doctors said he shouldn't be driving   
at all until his arm healed. From the back seat Cye listened to the others go over the   
many things that had happened to them since the attack, all this was news to Cye.  
  
Each of them had received phone calls. Sage had found a white dove, bloody and dead   
left for him on his doorstep. Rowen had returned from work to find that one of his   
windows had been broken. Nothing inside was amiss except for the shards of glass   
everywhere, and the rock sitting inside his living room with a piece of paper tied to it.   
The note had read, "Welcome this. It soon be all you have."  
  
"The grammatically incorrect cult, I like it." Kento commented absently.  
  
The others just looked at Kento oddly and bypassed it. Ryo went on to explain how   
someone had attempted to poison White Blaze and left a note under the food bowl.  
  
A similar note appeared at the restaurant that Kento's family owned, along with the   
heart of some animal. An unknown customer had left the heart on one of the tables in a   
small gift box with a note attached saying it was for Kento. The package had given   
Kento's sisters hysterics, and the threatening note had been sticking out of the heart   
through a slit that had been cut into the left ventricle. Mia had received her usual   
onslaught of e-mails.  
  
Cye shivered to think that these idiots were trying to scare them, and because of it,   
Naoki lay dieing, taking a bullet for Pirro. His Pirro. He tuned out what the others were   
saying then, as it didn't really matter. All that it added up to was the fact that they were   
dealing with a bunch of psychopaths who wanted to resurrect Tulpa.  
  
What he couldn't handle at the moment was the fact that once the shock of the incident   
had ended, Cye had found himself thinking that he and Pirro might have a chance   
together if Naoki died. Cye couldn't help but hate himself for it.  
  
How could he think about being with Pirro when her fianc‚ lay dieing in a hospital bed,   
and only because he couldn't have been there to protect them? The doctors hadn't told   
them that Naoki was dieing, but Cye could see it in their eyes every time they spoke of   
the gunshot-wound patient. He felt so guilty over it that he had only sent flowers, and   
hadn't gone to visit.  
  
He didn't think he had the right to anyway. Pirro was there to watch over Naoki, and   
Naoki was a good enough man. How dare Cye dishonor him by perusing Pirro in his   
thoughts before the guy was even dead?  
  
Cye made himself think of anything else. He made himself believe that Naoki would   
pull through. Pirro seemed to believe he would, and then so would Cye. Perhaps if Cye   
willed Naoki to get better then by some miracle, Naoki would.  
  
The car went silent as they pulled into the driveway in front of the cottage. There, on   
the doorstep, was a brown paper package. Tentatively the group got out of the car and   
approached it. All it said on top in large scrawling print was, "Torrent."  
  
Gingerly as he could, Cye found himself reaching foreword and tugging at the string,   
and then the paper, and opening the box. Cye lurched to the side of the porch to throw   
up into the grass.  
  
Inside the package was a picture of Pirro with her chest ripped open and guts spilling   
out that someone had drawn in blood. Not red ink, but defiantly blood; there were flies   
crawling over it trying to make a lunch of it. And there were the intestines of something   
lying beside it. The stench had churned Cye's stomach, and he threw up again just   
thinking about it.  
  
The others were turning their faces away and tried not to follow Cye's precedent once   
they glanced in the box. Finally Sage kicked the flap back over the gaping maw of the   
box and Kento - holding it at arms length - carried it to the trash.  
  
"Creeps." Ryo growled under his breath as the group entered the cottage and began to   
disperse to unpack and claim rooms to stay in.  
  
Cye, still shaken from the experience, had gone to sit down on the couch and tried to not   
think about Pirro's life being in danger. He was sure that she was safe in the hospital,   
but she wasn't going to be there forever.  
  
Cye had to figure out how to keep his beloved safe without letting her know that he was   
even there.  
  
"I want it more than truth  
I can taste it on my breath  
I would give my life just for a little death."  
  
Looking back, Pirro was glad that she had been there when it happened, even if Naoki's   
parents hadn't been. At least he hadn't been alone. At least his wouldn't be the fate that   
Pirro had resigned to for herself.  
  
Naoki woke up to find Pirro was nodding off in her seat beside his bed, her eyes half   
closed and her head was bent foreword. He felt a small smile play upon his lips as he   
watched her, until he noticed a drip of moisture fall from her chin. He reached his hand   
out to cup her face, and swiped at the trails of her tears with his thumb. "Don't cry   
Pirro. I'm getting out of here." He said with more conviction then he really felt.  
  
Naoki had known he was dieing from the moment he felt the bullet pierce his flesh. He   
had believed that he would have died right there with Pirro in his arms, but the   
paramedics had managed to sustain him until he got to the hospital, and the fine people   
in the E.R. had done their damdest to help him out.  
  
He couldn't blame them for what was happening to him. He knew they'd done   
everything that they could, and even with all they'd done he was still slipping away. He   
could feel it in every breath he took that he was dieing.  
  
Pirro opened her eyes at his touch and covered his hand with her own. "Naoki." She   
whispered, and he felt the response of his own body to her voice. The sparks running   
up and down his spine, and the elation in his heart.  
  
Too bad that he knew he would never hold her in his arms again. He found that he felt   
better this time, but he'd heard enough about dieing to know that this was probably his   
last few moments awake this lifetime. To make the best of it he captured her hand in his   
and gave it a tight squeeze. "Pirro, when I get out of here, we're going to have such a   
happy life together." He began to tell her, he becoming the storyteller, and she   
becoming the audience.  
  
"We're going to have each other to hold on to whenever trouble knocks on our door.   
Just like the old saying goes, 'fall down seven times, stand up eight,' we're going to be   
strong like that. And we'll teach our children to live by that adage. We'll live in our   
house on the seashore, and when we're old and have gray hair, we'll sit on our back   
porch and watch the waves roll in until the sunlight fades from the sky. We're going to   
be so happy." He finished the story on barely louder then a breath.  
  
Pirro was starting to cry again, realizing then what was happening. Realizing what   
Naoki already knew. Naoki was getting out of the hospital, and he would be leaving in   
a few minutes.  
  
Pirro kissed Naoki's hand, then leaned foreword and kissed his forehead. "Take me   
with you Naoki." Naoki heard her whisper. He tried not to wince inside when he   
heard her say that.  
  
"I'll always stay close to you Pirro." Naoki whispered. "And when my parents get back   
to the hospital." He began to say.  
  
"No!" Pirro cut him off sharply. Naoki felt his eyes go soft as he watched Pirro go into   
hysterics. "No Naoki, don't you dare leave me!" She begged, tears now streaming   
down her face.  
  
"Tell them that I love them. And I love you Pirro, I will always love you. I loved you   
when I read your books.I'm so glad I finally got to meet you, and hold you in my arms   
the way I dreamed that I one day would." Naoki told her. It was no use pretending any   
more. He had to let her know, before he died, just how much he loved her.  
  
He knew now, that perhaps even though the first great love of her life had been meant   
to be Cye, that he had been blessed to be her second. He didn't care if she loved Cye   
better, because at least there was love for him afterwards.  
  
Naoki felt the moisture falling from Pirro's eyes dripping onto him as she leaned over   
and pressed her face into his chest. "I love you so much Pirro, and now you can be free.   
Go, write your stories, and love again." He told her, though he doubted she'd listen to   
him. Not at first anyway.  
  
Naoki felt detached from everything else and his sight blurred to the point where he just   
shut his eyes. "Pirro." He whispered. He felt the kiss of her lips on the side of his face.  
  
"I love you too Naoki.I love you too.I love you too." He heard Pirro whispering to   
him as she squeezed his hand.  
  
"So I'll come by and see you again  
I'll be just a very good friend  
I will not look upon your face  
I will not touch upon your grace  
Your ecclesiastic skin."  
  
Cye had finally brought himself to go visit Naoki in the hospital. He resigned himself   
that he wouldn't look Pirro in the eye, and his visit would be solely to see Naoki. He   
walked down the hallway of the hospital and found himself outside of Naoki's room.  
  
He could hear sobbing inside, and he screwed his courage to the sticking place before   
taking a step into the room to see the blanched form of Naoki lying on the hospital bed,   
and the sobbing form of Pirro lying across him.  
  
Cye didn't have to ask what was happening, he could see that Naoki was beginning to   
die. He hadn't meant to make a sound as he backed out of the room, but Pirro's head   
snapped up and locked gazes with him. Her eyes were desperate and hurt and   
accusing.   
  
Cye froze as he looked into Pirro's eyes. He heard the loud warning beep as Naoki's   
heart monitor flat lined. He was pushed to the side as the doctor and nurses rushed in   
to try to re-start Naoki's heart. He watched as Pirro collapsed to the ground as the   
hospital staff clocked Naoki and pronounced him dead. He felt his own heart hit the   
floor as they had to half lead half carry Pirro out of the room.  
  
Silently, as the room calmed down, Cye whispered to Naoki, knowing that Naoki's   
spirit could hear him. "She loved you. You made the ultimate sacrifice for her, and you   
will have my respect for all time. You were a good man, Tanaka Naoki."  
  
"I'll come by and see you again  
I'll have to be a very good friend  
If I whisper they will know  
I'll just turn around and go  
You will never know my sin"  



	21. Stand Inside Your Love 21: Raining On Th...

Raining On The Sky  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Naked owns the song. Do own Pirro, Tanaka family,   
the Crack-Cult, and any other original characters I pull out of the air. Thank you all my   
fun and faithful reviewing peoples. You know who you are.  
  
A/N: I know the inclination is to ignore the song lyrics and just read the story, but in   
this chapter if in none of the others, I suggest paying attention to the lyrics.  
  
  
  
  
"When the night falls on metropolis  
Neon dissonance, warm lipstick  
When the moon shines on the playground  
I will find you in the tinsel town…"  
  
Pirro still couldn't believe what had happened. They had been forced to tie her down to   
a bed in the psyche ward at the hospital after she watched Naoki die. None of them   
understood what she meant when she said she'd betrayed him. She'd been watching   
Cye, not Naoki, when Naoki took his final breath. She couldn't forgive herself for   
looking away, not when he'd needed her most.  
  
She had to admit now that she loved Naoki. She'd loved him so much that every time   
she thought of him she felt the urge to end her life so that she could join him. There was   
no room in her mind for any thought of Cye now. None what so ever. She had even   
forgotten the cult, because she simply didn't care any more.  
  
She went walking through the city aimlessly as if she were courting death himself to go   
ahead and end her existence. Everyone she had known had died or left or just forgot to   
stay. That was her life. That was what she knew. She refused to talk to anyone now, for   
fear that her doing so would curse them too, and they in turn would find an untimely   
end trying to prolong her useless life.  
  
Pirro startled in the middle of the sidewalk. There, again, she thought she'd spotted   
Naoki's face in the crowd, and again she'd blinked and found that it was just some guy   
with a hair color similar to Naoki's, or with a similar facial expression. Of course it was   
never Naoki. It would never be Naoki again, and all because Naoki had thought that   
her life was more precious than his own.  
  
He was such a fool.  
  
In the darkness, Pirro turned down an alleyway and tried to hide her face that was now   
streaked with fresh tears and probably looked even more hideous then usual. Up ahead   
she spotted a shadow moving along the wall. She knew that shape! She knew that   
form! She picked up her pace, expecting to see Naoki standing just around the corner,   
laughing at her for believing that he really died.  
  
No, it was just some street urchin that gave her an odd look but left her alone,   
thankfully. Pirro hurried back to the main streets and made her way back towards the   
hotel she was staying at. She couldn't bring herself to spend one more night in the   
Tanaka family house, where Naoki's parents kept watching her with eyes that said,   
"You killed our only son. Because of you, he is dead."  
  
"Moving shadows in the shape of what you want to see  
Painted fingers and the aromatic Jean Nate  
And when they're spinning you can see them  
Do the strangest things  
Building bridges from the slivers of another's dream…"  
  
Cye and the others had been up all night trying to figure out what the cult's next move   
would be. Cye had tried to get a hold of Pirro to warn her that it still wasn't safe for her   
to be out and about, but she refused to even acknowledge his existence.  
  
Cye had left messages for her at least ten times that day, but she hadn't responded to   
one of them. He finally had given up for the moment, and gone back to helping the   
others.  
  
Rowen – the look in his eyes making it obvious that he was surviving solely on coffee   
beans – kept returning to the 'gifts' that had been left for each of them, trying to decide   
the true meaning behind each of them.  
  
Kento had been intent on simply figuring out where they were so that he could go in   
and open a can of whoop-ass on them.  
  
Sage was working silently, trying to decide where, when, and how they would strike   
next so that he could strategically plan a counter attack.  
  
Ryo remained silent and contemplative, and for once not revealing what he was   
thinking. The others were too busy involved in their own thoughts to realize that this   
was probably a sign that Ryo was on to something.  
  
Mia had fallen asleep with her face pressed against a newspaper article that told of   
Naoki's murder.  
  
Only Cye was still concentrating solely on Pirro, and not directly on the Cult. He was   
trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between them again so that he could keep her   
safe. He didn't even let his mind stray to the thought of returning to Pirro's arms. He   
didn't dare, for it was asking too much.  
  
"Whatever you want  
I'll give it to you, I will  
Whatever the cost  
I'll get it for you, I will…"  
  
"Yulie!" Ryo suddenly shouted, startling everyone as he slammed his hand down on   
the table to emphasize his revelation. "While we're all here, worried about a second   
strike, we've forgotten about Yulie!" He elaborated after receiving some blank stares.  
  
After the moment it took for Ryo's words to sink in, the room burst into motion. Cye   
lost himself in the confusion of the quick plan where Ryo and Rowen would return to   
Toyama to con Yulie's parents into letting him stay with them for a while for the kid's   
own protection.  
  
Granted, Yulie was well past being just a kid and closer to being an adult, he still was a   
kid to them. This way, they would be stationed in both Toyama and Osaka in the event   
of an emergency on either end.  
  
Ryo and Rowen went upstairs to pack. Mia turned to Cye and suggested that he go and   
get some sleep, as tomorrow was going to be a hard day. Tomorrow was Naoki's   
funeral.  
  
Cye nodded as he pulled himself up and went to his room upstairs. From there he could   
see the lights in the house that he used to watch to see Pirro's form moving across the   
windows. Now he could look to see darkness in all the rooms where a grieving couple   
mourned the loss of their only child.  
  
"Let's go raining on the sky  
Throw a kiss and wave goodbye  
Let's go raining on the sky  
And one kiss seals the tie…"  
  
Pirro sat in the pew while the corps that was once the animated body of Naoki lay   
before her in a casket. She remained silent while friends and family stood up to say a   
few words about the dearly departed. She let tears stream down her face unchecked   
while a blessing was said over him.  
  
Finally it came time for Pirro to stand and say her final good byes at the service. She   
pulled herself up, she stood at the podium, she forced her voice to behave itself and not   
crackle and die away.  
  
She read a small passage from one of her earlier books, one where Jena, the loving wife,   
spoke at the funeral of Treven, her husband. "I found that these words were   
appropriate, as they were written by Naoki's favorite author, and they speak my heart   
right now.   
  
"I remember how Naoki and I would squabble over little things, nothing important to   
mention here, and we'd always wind up ending the fight when he would quote   
something from Julie Shudder, or mention her. So, it is tribute to his love of these books   
that I read from them." Pirro didn't mention that it was also because she herself wrote   
these words that made them appropriate to read at the funeral, as they did speak her   
heart. At the moment, she felt like Jena.  
After the service was done, Pirro went to watch them put the body in the ground. She   
threw a single red rose, symbolic of her love, into the hole that consumed the flesh of her   
beloved. Then those who attended the ceremony approached her one by one to share   
their condolences.  
  
Pirro noticed only when the crowd began to thin out, that there was someone who   
hadn't said a thing to her, or approached her or the Tanakas, yet he seemed to have   
every right to be there.  
  
Cye, with Kento at his side for moral support, paid their respects silently to Naoki before   
they turned and walked away. They went unnoticed by everyone except Pirro.  
  
Finally, the crowd dispersed, and Asa and Haru returned to their car and drove away.   
Pirro found herself alone beside Naoki's grave and she knelt down, ignoring the fact   
that she was getting mud on her dress. She could buy another dress.  
  
She pressed her hands into the mud that now covered Naoki's casket. She let herself go   
then, and let herself cry harder then she could remember crying when her parents died.   
Finally, night fell, and a local police official told her that she would have to go on home.   
The man was kind enough to call her a cab and make sure she got to it okay.  
  
Pirro didn't speak a word to the man in the driver's seat past telling him where she was   
headed as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Perhaps, perhaps if she   
appeared dead, then the world would believe she was and she wouldn't have to worry   
about talking to people or looking at them ever again.  
  
If she were dead then people wouldn't notice her at all because she would be a ghost.   
No, a spirit. And as a spirit, she wouldn't have her scars. Cye himself had said that   
when she was just a spirit, when Anubis had taken her back to her body, she hadn't had   
her scars.  
  
They were morbid thoughts, but they were the kind of thoughts that were just running   
rampant through her head as she kept seeing in her minds eye the fresh grave that   
didn't even have a head stone yet, but only a cheep plastic marker that would be   
replaced by something of more worth in a few days.  
  
"Riding home she falls asleep inside a Checkered Cab  
In a dream she comes across Alice in Wonderland  
The Maddest Hatter surely had her in the recent past  
Now she hears him saying, 'Honey, you are home at last'…"  
  
Cye watched as the taxi pulled away from the cemetery. Just as he'd suspected, Pirro   
wasn't going to take care of herself. She had given up on just about everything that held   
her safe. Everything that she had loved was gone except for her stories.  
  
He and Kento had waited after the funeral and watched over her from where she   
couldn't detect them. It was simple really; they just stood outside the gates of the   
cemetery and kept an eye on her.  
  
There had been several times when Kento had to put a hand on Cye's shoulder to keep   
him from going in there and comforting Pirro himself. Cye had wanted so badly to go   
in there and pull Pirro into his arms and kiss her and tell her that it would all be okay.   
He knew he couldn't. He knew that he would have tried to anyway had Kento not   
stopped him.  
  
Pirro would have resented him if he had, he well knew. That was the only reason he let   
Kento hold him back as they watched Pirro mourn the loss of her fiancé that she had   
wanted to hate as an enemy, and grown to love as a friend.  
  
Now that it was over, and Pirro was on her way home, Cye could breath a sigh of relief   
and let Kento drive him back to the cottage.  
  
"Come on buddy, let's go home." Kento said as slung an arm around Cye's shoulders in   
a brotherly fashion.  
  
"He'll be waiting there and you can start again  
Rhinestone darling, know you're taken  
You'll have a lot of laughs and Cadillacs and bubble baths  
Just say the word and he'll forget about your past…"  
  
Pirro was standing on a small stone patio in the early morning looking out over the sea.   
It was so early that the fog had yet to clear, and the world was covered in a mist, giving   
the illusion of floating in a fantasy realm.  
  
She heard the click of her shoes as she walked over the smooth stones and moved onto   
the sand, walking towards the water. There was a dark form in the mist up ahead, and   
she couldn't tell just what it was. She moved closer to it and recognized it instantly.   
"Naoki!" She called, and he turned to face her with a broad smile playing across his   
lips.  
  
"Pirro…" He said softly as she raced to him and flung her arms around his neck. "Pirro,   
it's alright, you don't have to worry about me any more." He told her, but Pirro   
wouldn't listen.  
  
"Naoki, I need you back home. I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave me?"   
Pirro asked him.  
  
Naoki was silent then, and Pirro looked up and gasped. It wasn't Naoki any more, but   
an angry face that she didn't recognize. Not so much a face, but a mask. "Naoki?" She   
whispered, though knowing it was useless. Naoki wasn't there any more.  
  
"No child, it is not Naoki that you see before you." Came the deep voice that seemed to   
hypnotize Pirro, as well as make all the little hairs on the back of her neck stand up on   
end. "It is I, Tulpa, who has come to…"  
  
Before Tulpa got out another word, Pirro woke up. She sat bolt upright in the back seat   
of the taxi. She was a little disoriented as she looked around. Then she realized that she   
didn't recognize the buildings outside the window.  
  
"Excuse me, driver? This isn't the way back to the hotel I'm staying at…" Pirro said,   
leaning foreword.  
  
"Shut up back there." Came a gruff voice. "You're not going to your hotel."  
  
That was when Pirro noticed that the door handles on the insides were missing in the   
back seats.  
  
"What ever you want  
I'll do it to you, I will  
Whatever the thought  
I'll do it for you, I will…"  
  
Cye was dreaming, and the strange thing was, he knew he was dreaming. He was   
standing at an alter, obviously done up in the fashion for a wedding. He turned his   
head and spotted Pirro standing next to him. He smiled; this would be a pleasant   
dream. He was slightly surprised as it was a Western style wedding, but he didn't mind   
at all.  
  
They went through the ceremony, and finally they came to the part that Cye had been   
anticipating throughout the entire dream. The faceless voice that played priest spoke   
the words, "You may now kiss the bride."  
  
Cye smiled as he turned to lift the veil from Pirro's face and he closed his eyes and   
leaned foreword and kissed her. When he drew back and opened his eyes he was   
stunned.  
  
It was no longer Pirro standing before him, but a woman wearing all black. Cye's eyes   
narrowed as he recognized her as the gun woman that had murdered Naoki. "How   
dare you interrupt my wedding?" Cye asked her in a scathing tone. He noticed that his   
voice echoed through out the room they were standing in, as if suddenly the walls had   
grown taller and farther away, creating a cavernous hall that was so large that it would   
be impossible to even see the ceiling when looking straight up.  
  
The woman shrugged and smiled. Cye noticed that her lips had been painted a bright   
red, the color of blood when it first leaves the body. Then her mouth started dripping   
with blood as she reached foreword and captured Cye by the back of the neck and drew   
him foreword, kissing him and smearing the blood over his face.  
  
Cye woke up sputtering and wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand.  
  
"Let's go raining on the sky  
Throw a kiss and wave goodbye  
Let's go raining on the sky  
And one kiss seals the tie…"  
  
Ryo and Rowen were chasing down a dark alleyway after a small group of punks   
dressed in all black. Both warriors were angry and ready to kill as soon as they got the   
information they needed out of these members of the cult.  
  
Yulie was missing, apparently kidnapped. When Ryo and Rowen had arrived in town   
and contacted Yulie's family, they had been met with the distraught faces of Yulie's   
parents. It would seem that no one had seen or heard from Yulie in two days.  
  
Just the thought of what they might be doing to Yulie made Ryo's feet move faster as he   
tackled one of the guys to the ground. "Where is he?" Ryo growled as he restrained the   
guy.  
  
Ryo closed his eyes as the kid spit in his face. "You'll never find him in time." The teen   
said.  
  
Ryo looked up to see Rowen moving to capture one of the other members, but before he   
could, the other two members of the cult drew black handled daggers from their pockets   
and slit their own throats.  
  
Ryo looked down at his hostage and found only a corps. "How the…?" Ryo asked,   
jumping off the body and staring down at it. There was an open gash across this one's   
throat as well, as if he too had sliced his throat open, though Ryo had been holding both   
the guys arms.  
  
"Let's get outta here!" Rowen's voice jolted Ryo out of his shock. Ryo nodded and the   
pair left to return to Rowen's apartment, which had been turned into their temporary   
home base. Ryo didn't feel like being arrested for the murder of three people, even if   
they were members of a cult. Soon they were walking up the stairs to Rowen's   
apartment.  
  
"We're gonna have to find where they're keeping Yulie soon." Ryo said as the two of   
them entered Rowen's apartment.  
  
Rowen had been about to answer when he noticed the blinking light on the answering   
machine. "Hey, maybe it's the others, maybe they've found somethin." Rowen said   
with a hint of hope in his voice as he hit the play button.  
  
What they heard however wasn't the voice of the others. "Congratulations on the   
murder of three of my followers." Came a scratchy voice that made Ryo and Rowen   
snap to attention. "But at this rate, you'll never find what you're looking for."  
  
In the background came the sound of a struggle and a voice that Ryo and Rowen   
recognized instantly as that of Yulie. "Guys, I know you can hear me. These freaks   
want to resurrect Tulpa, you've gotta stop them. They took me to this…" There was the   
sound of a smack and Yulie fell silent.  
  
"You heard the boy." The first voice said, then there was a soft click as the message   
ended.  
  
Ryo and Rowen looked at each other for a moment, letting things sink in as their mutual   
anger began to rise and bubble over. "They'll pay for this." Ryo vowed.  
  
"When your heart aches with horizon  
Caked eyelash, torn nylon  
When the light breaks through and frightens you  
You'll hear the cry to come raining on the sky…"  
  
Cye was recounting his dream to Mia and the others as he sat over a hot mug of tea. It   
was the middle of the night, and Cye was shivering from not just the cold, but nerves as   
well. He had the urge to just scream, then track down the members of the cult and kill   
them.  
  
"It would seem that their powers are growing." Sage said. "If they can influence your   
dreams like that."  
  
"Which means they're getting closer to being able to bring Tulpa back." Mia said,   
sounding like she was going to go into one of her thinking moods where she would   
pour over files and files on her computer until her brain hurt.  
  
Cye was not in a good mood at all. "I have to call Pirro in the morning, as soon as she'd   
be awake. I have to make sure that she's okay." He said.  
  
Kento looked wary of the prospect, but nodded his head as if he had a say in the matter.   
He was playing overprotective big brother again, but Cye was too worn out to really   
care that much about it. "Alright. And then we should call Ryo and Rowen, see how   
they're fairing." Cye added.  
  
Sage nodded. "Things are going to start heating up around here real soon." He   
commented as he looked out the window at the pitch darkness of the night.  
  
"Let's go raining on the sky  
Throw a kiss and say goodbye  
Let's go raining on the sky  
And one kiss seals the tie  
Let's go raining on the sky  
Let's go raining on the sky vacuum"  
  



	22. Stand Inside your Love 22: Daphne Descen...

Daphne Descends  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro,   
Tanaka family, the cult, and who ever else I manage to think up by the end of this.   
Thanks again to the spiffy reviewing people whom I absolutely adore.  
  
  
  
"With the sugar sickness  
You spy the kidnap kids  
Who kids you to oblivion…"  
  
Pirro was groggy from whatever the hell had been in that drink they'd forced down her   
throat, but now she was coming to again. She prayed that this time it would go   
unnoticed for a while… just a short while…  
  
She was fortunate, there was some struggle taking place on the other side of the room   
that seemed to have everyone's avid attention. She blinked and tried to force her eyes to   
focus as the sounds began to make sense to her mind. There was the voice of a teenage   
boy, grumbling and kicking, and as her mind got clearer, his voice got louder.  
  
Finally she was able to tell that he was screaming obscenities that would make a pirate   
blush and look away. Some distant part of her mind told her to pay attention to what he   
was saying, but she just couldn't seem to focus on anything except the fact that he was   
creating the perfect diversion.  
  
She felt the ropes that bound here weren't that tight, as if someone were being   
considerate. As long as that kid kept cussing up a storm and fighting, maybe she could   
find a way to slip out. She began to squirm and tug at her restraints, trying to free   
herself, not realizing that she had been spotted regardless of the ruckus going on   
elsewhere.  
  
She felt the sting of the slap that snapped her head sideways. She tasted blood in her   
mouth as she cut her lip on a tooth. She opened her eyes to see who it was that had   
attacked her, but with her blurred vision all she could make out was a flesh colored blob   
floating before her.  
  
"Don't bother, little slut. We'll bring your beloved to his knees soon enough, then the   
world itself." A scathing voice told her, making her wince away.  
  
Pirro sputtered, as she tasted a bitter herb against her lips. Her assailant kissed her, and   
the herb was on his breath. "You'll learn soon enough who to call master, bitch."  
  
"It's the perfect hassle  
For the perfumed kiss  
He makes you miss him  
More than home…"  
  
"She's not picking up again." Cye growled, slamming the phone down. "That's it, I   
have to go over to the hotel and see her. She can't avoid me forever!"  
  
"Sadly my friend, she can." Kento told him, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder.   
  
"I don't care if she doesn't want to come back to me, I only care that she's safe, and if   
she's going to cut herself off from me, then she's only putting herself in more danger!"   
Cye started, getting worked up.  
  
"I know." Kento said.  
  
"The point is, we don't know where the danger is coming from." Sage jumped in.   
"Osaka could be clear right now, and they could all be in Toyama, or Kyoto, or   
anywhere at the moment." He reminded them in his analytical voice.  
  
"Then what are we supposed to do?" Kento asked, getting frustrated.  
  
"I'll get that!" Mia said, breaking up the tension in the room as the doorbell rang. A   
moment later Kayura, Kale, Sekhmet, and Dais entered the room.  
  
"So, let's get down to business, shall we?" Kayura asked as she and the ex-dark   
warlords took their seats.  
  
"Let's." Cye said, finally leaving the phone. "Ryo and Rowen will be getting in later   
this evening. Yulie's been taken hostage, and it's no use us staying split up if we don't   
have to be."  
  
The newcomers nodded, and the debate began on the most efficient way of tracking   
down the enemy.  
  
"You love him  
You love him more than this  
You love him  
And you cannot  
You can't resist…"  
  
"You won't give us any trouble now, will you little wench?" Asked a gruff voice that   
struck a chord of fear in Pirro's chest. There was chanting going on all around her in a   
frenzy of voices that almost made her dizzy just to listen to.  
  
The cursing from the other side of the room was back again, as her fellow abductie was   
also roused. They were carrying her and forcing her to kneel on a high table, her wrists   
bound together over her head, letting her dangle foreword. A young boy who she knew   
should be familiar was tied at her side in a similar fashion.  
  
The boy was slapped into momentary silence, and a fuzzy blur appeared before her.   
Pirro decided that this was the master of ceremonies. "And our MC for the night is…"   
She thought deliriously, and had to fight down the urge to giggle wildly.  
  
"Don't try to resist us, because for you a battle will be fought." The MC said. Or had he   
said fraught? Could a battle be fraught Pirro wondered? No, of course not…but then   
again, it could be fraught with bloodshed. Perhaps that's what he meant…  
  
She snapped to attention when she was slapped again. She had missed most of the   
opening speech – not that she cared much – but she was being rewarded for it with a   
small beating.  
  
"Your love for him will draw him to us…" She heard someone hiss in her ear. The boy   
beside her gave someone an earful and was clobbered for it. Everything in Pirro's world   
was spinning and swirling in reds and shadows, smoke and daze, and all the sounds   
were distorted. She wondered if they were going to hit her and knock her out again, so   
that she could go back to her dream about Naoki. She had it down now; as soon as the   
mask guy showed up she would wake up again so she wouldn't have to listen to him   
going on and on about nothing important at all. Nothing important to Pirro anyway.  
  
Nothing was important to Pirro any more. She knew she was going to die in this place   
of blood and smoke, but she didn't really care. Every time she closed her eyes she was   
with Naoki again, and that was all that really mattered.  
  
"You love him  
You love him for yourself  
You love him  
And no one, no one else…"  
  
As soon as Ryo and Rowen arrived, the group moved out. Kayura had done a scrying   
ritual to show them the way. It was a shot in the dark, but by that time, the Ronins   
weren't about to argue it. If Kayura were right, then they would be able to save Yulie   
and stop this messed up Cult from going any further. If she was wrong, then she'd get   
an earful and they'd be back to square one.  
  
Either way, it was better then sitting on their buts.  
  
They moved on foot once they got to the heart of the city. Cye glanced up as they   
passed by the hotel he knew Pirro was staying at, but it did no good. They turned down   
a back alleyway, and into the darkness and smog where the homeless and the drug-  
addicted staked their claims. Cye shuddered, and tried not to picture what was most   
likely happening to Yulie at the moment.  
  
"Past sidewalk ashes  
A last lover's arc  
You come apart to intertwine…"  
  
It was harder then they thought to just break in. Everything was guarded and barred,   
and the members of the cult were ultimate fanatics. It got to the point where it wasn't   
enough just to knock them out of the way. It was kill or be killed. They also discovered   
that behind each door was another, and the networking of the building that had   
apparently been dubbed headquarters to the cult was like a giant labyrinth, and it was   
hard to figure out where to turn next.  
  
They relied heavily on Kayura to call the shots, as well as their own intuition. Yet,   
around every turn and behind each door lay hoards and hoards of Cult members, each   
willing to fight till the bitter end to see that Tulpa was resurrected.  
  
"It was all so simple  
As you watched him move  
Across the darkness in your room…"  
  
Something was happening. Those jerks were trying to raise Tulpa, and Yulie was tied   
down. He had tried to get Pirro to listen to him, because if they worked together they   
might have half a chance of surviving this thing until the guys got there, but Pirro was   
too far gone. Every time he tried to communicate with her she'd mumble something   
about death, or she wouldn't answer at all.  
  
Yulie wished she'd at least scream, but she remained unresponsive when they beat her.   
Or worse, Yulie saw them doing more then just beat her a few times, and he didn't think   
she even knew about it. He watched them taunt her, telling her that it would be her   
fault that Cye would fall.  
  
Yulie had screamed to her that she shouldn't give up, and that Cye and the other guys   
would be coming to save them, but Pirro had ignored him and Yulie had been beaten   
around until he'd finally shut up. Yulie wondered if there was anything left of Pirro's   
mind.  
  
As they knelt next to each other on the high platform, Yulie noticed that Pirro was   
mumbling something again. "Get the hell out of here you stupid mask! Where's Naoki?   
Where is he? Huh? Get out of here…All you are is a giant floating head…you don't   
scare me…"  
  
Yulie sighed. At least in delirium she was suddenly able to face Tulpa without fear.   
That, of course, was what was liable to get her killed all the faster.  
  
Movement caught Yulie's eye and he noted that things were picking up again. The   
chanting rose again, and as he glanced around he was able to spot where the commotion   
was coming from. The leader of the Cult was heading towards them, and the   
unmistakable glint of a blade flashed in his hand.  
  
"Now, stay calm." Yulie heard voices hiss around his head. He twisted around to   
figure out what was going on behind him, but no one was there. He turned back   
foreword and the leader was standing directly in front of him. Yulie could feel the guy's   
breath on his face and tried not to gag and the rank smell of it.  
  
"And your love for their leader will bring them down as well." The leader informed   
Yulie. Yulie spat in the guy's face and was rewarded by a slap across the mouth. He   
didn't care though; it at least shut the fool up.  
  
"You'll never win." Yulie growled. "THE RONINS WILL NEVER FALL TO YOU!"   
There was another smack and Yulie tasted blood. He heard giggling, then noticed it   
came from Pirro. She was giggling uncontrollably.  
  
"I love him…" She giggled, sounding suddenly like a small child, and the sound   
frightened Yulie more than anything else. If Pirro couldn't stand up to these people and   
fight back, if she collapsed to their will, then it was up to him to hold out alone until the   
guys came, and he doubted the guys even knew where he was. True fear began to grip   
at Yulie's heart, and he longed for the time when the Ronins were godlike to his young   
mind, and he had the undying faith of a child that told him that there was no way the   
Ronins could possibly lose.  
  
Now that he was older, and the Ronins seemed all the more human to him, he was able   
to know doubt. Perhaps that was what would bring them all down in the end.  
  
Yulie shuddered, then closed his eyes and tried to picture how Ryo had first appeared to   
him; someone that the Dynasty could never keep down for long, with infallible strength,   
and he and the other Ronins would be able to able to band together and overcome   
anything.  
  
But it would do no good if the Ronins didn't even know where to strike. Yulie mentally   
cursed himself, and decided it was up to him to pull this off. He relaxed every muscle in   
his body, and waited for the right moment to strike.  
  
"You love him  
You love him for yourself  
You love him  
And no one, no one else…"  
  
Pirro was giggling madly now, unable to stop. Everything was just so funny!   
Sometimes she wondered where Cye was, and if he and the others would be able to   
come and rescue them. Sometimes she could see all the Ronins, as well as the ex-  
warlords and Kayura fighting, and she felt that they were close. Sometimes it seemed   
that they were going the wrong way, and she wanted to cry out to them, but she knew it   
was no use. Then she would see Naoki hovering at the edges of her mind, and he was   
so comical in the way he tried to fight, though there was nothing he could do.  
  
There was nothing anyone could do, and it didn't matter, because she was going to die.   
She didn't care, and all these people were making such a fuss over it. Somehow it just   
became more and more humorous the bigger the fuss was made.  
  
Pirro collapsed against her restraints as her giggling over took her. "Fools…" She   
gasped. "Fools…" And no one paid her any heed.  
  
"And to the winding vines  
The pretty boys dive  
And thru the pinhole stars  
Into the shadow mind…"  
  
Ryo kicked in the door as he followed the cries of Yulie. There was blood running down   
the youth's face, and more blood on his arm from a gash. Yulie had apparently broken   
free from wherever they'd been holding him, and was now surrounded by a circle of   
cult members, all advancing on him and waiting for an opening to attack.  
  
Ryo was suddenly proud of Yulie for how well he'd been able to advance his fighting   
skills, but there wasn't enough time to get nostalgic. He and the others burst into the   
room and engaged the freaks that were trying to end the world.  
  
He fought his way towards Yulie, and that's when he was able to understand what Yulie   
was saying to him. "There's another…that girl…Pirro…" Was all Ryo heard before he   
realized why Pirro wasn't answering her phone.  
  
"CYE!" Ryo shouted, noticing the auburn head turning to face him curiously from   
where he was fighting across the room. "SHE'S HERE!"  
  
Cye didn't even need to ask who 'she' was.  
  
"Will you lose him then  
On some gentle dawn?  
This boy is here and gone…"  
  
Pirro saw them come after her with the knife, and knew they meant to take her blood   
and use it to help resurrect the big mask guy. She knew she should know the mask's   
name, but it didn't matter. She laughed at them. "My blood will do you no good! For   
I'm already dead, and you need the blood of the living!" She shrieked, not even sure   
what she was saying.  
  
The kid with the knife faltered for a moment, and glanced at his mentor. The older man   
snorted, and the kid came after her again. When Pirro was pierced, she wasn't sure if   
she was shrieking with pain or laughter.  
  
"You love him  
You love him for yourself  
You love him  
And no one, no one else…"  
  
Cye found the door to the room that must have had Pirro in it. He could hear her voice   
as she shouted meaningless words to her possessors. Cye kicked the door, but it held.   
He kicked it again, trying to break it down. That's when a hand tapped him on the   
shoulder. He turned to face the gunwoman that had murdered Naoki. "You're in jail!"   
He said, not fully able to register the fact that she was indeed right here in front of him.  
  
"I was, but now I'm not." She said coolly. "And you're mine." She advanced on him,   
and Cye had the dazzling sensation that it wasn't bright lipstick, but actual blood that   
stained her mouth.  
  
"Leave me the hell alone." He growled, some part of him not wanting to hit her, but   
simply avoid her and get to Pirro.  
  
"Why should I? Don't you remember? We are bound to each other now." She said,   
advancing on him again, and Cye discovered his back was now pressed against the   
door.  
  
"No…" He started to say, but she cut him off. He couldn't figure out what it was about   
her dark eyes that entranced him and made him stop moving suddenly. "No." He said   
again, slightly more forcefully.  
  
She put a finger over his lips to silence him, and was about to say something more when   
a loud shriek reached Cye's ears. Pirro was screaming bloody murder, and that was all   
Cye needed to break out of his trance. He slugged the gunwoman and she crumpled to   
the floor unconscious. He turned again and found he could break down the door with   
ease, though earlier it seemed as if the door were impossible to move.  
  
He heard a cry of mourning go up through the building, and assumed that Ryo had   
slain the leader of the cult. The members of the room turned to face him, and a young   
boy smiled as he emptied a bowl of Pirro's blood into a small pit.  
  
Cye was in motion instantly, trying to figure out how to keep the ceremony from being   
completed, but more members of the cult that seemed to come out of nowhere blocked   
him.  
  
He heard movement in the room, and could sense without turning around that Kento   
and Rowen had entered and were also fighting their way through the swarms of black-  
clad cult members.  
  
Cye was making his way slowly towards a pit of fire that was maybe five feet from   
where Pirro was dangling. He had to try to stop them, to kill their priest, do something   
to keep them from resurrecting Tulpa.  
  
He knocked out another fifteen-year-old and was twenty feet from the fire pit. He was   
close, but still not close enough. He tried to get closer but found his way blocked by a   
twenty-year-old with bad breath and wild eyes.  
  
The room went silent suddenly as the undertone of the chanting silenced. Cye hadn't   
even noticed the chanting until it suddenly wasn't there. He glanced up at the priest   
and saw him raise a bowl over his head and announce that all that remained of the   
ceremony was to add the contents of the bowl to the fire and say the word of Power and   
Master Tulpa would return to them. A cheer went up from the cult members, and Cye   
lunged foreword to stop him.  
  
Suddenly, inexplicably, the bowl flew out of the priest's hands and it crashed against the   
fall wall. The room was silent except for a soft giggling coming from Pirro.  
  
For a moment the priest stood gape-mouthed and staring at the shattered remains of the   
pottery where it now lay in the corner, then chaos erupted and Cye found himself   
fighting off the members of the cult as they went into a frenzy for blood. Cye found   
himself standing next to the Priest suddenly, and without thinking he felled the guy.  
  
It seemed that he merely blinked and the members of the cult all crumpled to the   
ground. All of them had their throats slit, just as Ryo and Rowen had described the   
members they'd tracked down in Toyama.  
  
Cye grimaced as he stepped over a body and headed towards Pirro. He'd find time later   
to let everything make sence.  
  
"You love him  
You love him more than this  
You love him  
And you cannot, you can't resist…"  
  
Cye cut down Pirro's arms and she collapsed in an ungracious heap into his lap. She   
was consumed by giggles, which slowly degenerated into sobs. "He's dead…" She   
whispered. "They're all dead… And so am I…"  
  
Cye forgot about the fact that he was only supposed to be there to rescue her, and that   
he wouldn't let his emotions get involved any. He wrapped his arms around her and   
clutched her to his chest as she sobbed and heaved, and tried to hang on to the last   
shreds of sanity she had left.  
  
Finally Pirro lay still and turned her tear stained face up to Cye, though Cye wasn't sure   
just who she saw as she said, "I love you…"  
  
"You love him."  



	23. Stand Inside Your Love 23: Rock and Roll...

Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the Ronins. Meatloaf owns the song. Do own Pirro, the Tanaka   
family, and, well, you know the deal. I would like to extend special thanks this chapter   
to my parakeet named Baby, because he kept good track of my mouse for me, and only   
made a mess of my desk once. And to my brother's bird Frisbee, for making sure that I   
had musical entertainment while I typed.  
  
  
  
  
"You can't run away forever  
But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start  
You want to shut out the night  
You want to shut down the sun  
You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart…"  
  
Cye watched Pirro as she came out of the shower and toweled off her hair lethargically.   
He sat at the breakfast table and pretended to pay attention to his rice crispies. After   
taking her to the hospital to get her arm stitched up, Cye had taken her back to the   
cottage with him, knowing it was a bad idea to leave her alone.  
  
She had remained silent and hadn't spoken a word to anyone for the past three days, not   
since she'd said, "I love you." Since then she'd gone through the motions of life, and   
every time she'd looked at Cye, he was left wondering just who she saw, or if anyone at   
all. He had the sensation that her eyes were locked on something long in the past that   
he could never reach.   
  
Cye looked up when Pirro paused her movement. She sat at the edge of her chair with   
her hair wrapped in a towel, her hands motionless, part way through the act of   
returning to her sides. She stared blankly in front of her, her face an emotionless mask   
that made Cye think of a statue he'd seen in a museum once of a girl who had been   
abused by her family and had just been freed from the room she'd been locked in.  
  
Cye kept his mouth closed shut as he watched Pirro hold her pose for several minutes   
before she blinked a few times then turned her gaze on him. Somewhere behind those   
eyes Cye knew that his Pirro remained, locked inside a cage of her own design.  
  
He stood up and went to her side. "Pirro," He said softly. "Do you want something to   
eat?" Pirro blinked at him a few times, and Cye took it for a yes. He led her to the table   
and got her to sit down while he fixed her some breakfast. Every so often he'd look back   
at her and find that she was again in her trance where the past lived itself over and over   
inside her head.  
  
He put her food in front of her and she began to mechanically eat it, hardly paying   
attention to what she was doing. Again Cye sat and watched her, and he doubted she   
even noticed.  
  
Rowen wandered into the kitchen and glanced at her. "She doing any better?" He   
asked, half awake himself and reaching for the coffee pot.  
  
Cye shook his head. "Same."  
  
Rowen sighed and watched Pirro for a few moments. "Maybe you should take her   
outside or something. See if there's anything that will bring her mind back from   
wherever it's gone." He suggested.  
  
Cye nodded. "I'll try it. Right about now I'll try anything short of shock therapy."  
  
Rowen nodded and turned way to get a bowl down from the cabinet.  
  
"Think of how we'd lay down together  
We'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong  
Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods  
Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs…"  
  
Cye led Pirro out across the beach towards the surf, and got her to sit down in the sand.   
She blinked at him a few times, and Cye felt a glimmer of hope that she'd pull through.   
He remembered what Yulie had told them about what she had gone through. It wasn't   
surprising to him that every time he touched her arm or accidentally bumped her and   
she didn't see him there, she would flinch away.  
  
Now, sitting on the beach, he watched her gaze over the ocean. Tears began to stream   
down her face, and it took all of Cye's will power to keep from reaching out and   
brushing them away for her. She sniffled, and he jumped involuntarily; it had been the   
most noise she'd made since they had gotten her back.  
  
"Pirro?" He asked softly, gently, trying not to startle her. She turned her head slowly to   
blink at him, and he smiled at her what he hoped was comfortingly. She blinked at him   
three more times, then turned to look back at the water.  
  
Cye turned his face away so that she wouldn't see the single tear that betrayed his   
emotions. He had to be strong for her now, he had to take care of her, because there was   
no one left on the face of the planet who would do it other wise.  
  
"I treasure your love  
I never want to lose it  
You've been through the fires of hell  
And I know you've got the ashes to prove it…"  
  
Cye felt a hand brush against his and his head snapped around to see Pirro had   
accidentally bumped him while reclining back to lean on her arms and stretch her legs   
out in front of her. At least one of them was comfortable and acting carefree.  
  
He could hear someone moving behind him, but didn't bother turning around to see   
Kento and Ryo approaching him. "Hey, just thought we'd come keep you two   
company." Ryo said.  
  
"We wanted to make sure you were keeping things clean down here." Kento added in   
his usual sarcastic manner.  
  
Ryo shot Kento a look, and Cye rolled his eyes. "Don't worry Kento, we wouldn't want   
you to miss the festivities." Cye joked.  
  
Kento laughed as he and Ryo settled down to watch the waves.  
  
Pirro didn't seem to notice the two of them for a moment, though she eventually turned   
to look at each of them before turning an almost frightened, questioning look on Cye.   
"It's alright Pirro. I know you remember Ryo and Kento. My friends? Our friends."  
  
Pirro blinked at him a few times, and Cye fought the urge to capture her hand in his,   
knowing it would only frighten her and push her further away from him again.   
"Pirro…" He whispered as she returned her gaze to the sea.  
  
After half an hour Kento and Ryo stood to head back inside, and Cye figured it was time   
to bring Pirro inside as well and get her some lunch. He stood up and moved to guide   
her to her feet when he noticed that she'd written something in the sand while he'd been   
talking with the others. The word, "Why?" Was etched into the beach.  
  
Cye took a deep breath and crouched in front of her. "I don't know why Pirro. I don't   
know why things happen the way they do, but I know that you are strong and you'll   
pull out of this. I love you Pirro." He told her, and held out his hand. He'd learned that   
it wasn't okay for him to touch her, but if she touched him it was alright. This was the   
law he now lived by.  
  
She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet, and she let him lead her into the   
cottage. Somehow Cye felt as if he'd managed to scale Mount Everest that day, though   
he knew he'd have to do it again and again before Pirro would be alright.  
  
"I treasure your love  
I want to show you how to use it  
You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt  
And I know you've got the scars to prove it…"  
  
Cye had gotten the others to help him move Pirro's things from the hotel into the   
cottage. He had set up her computer, though it now sat unused in the corner. Her   
books lined the shelves, but they had remained untouched. Pirro was now sitting on the   
end of her bed and gazing into the hallway expectantly, as if she were waiting for   
someone to come. Cye had given up on talking to her for the evening, and now sat in   
the corner with a book in his hands.  
  
Movement caused Cye to look up to see Pirro walk to her computer and turn it on. She   
sat in front of it as it booted up, her hands poised over the keyboard, waiting to type.   
She called up her Microsoft Word program, and her fingers flew over the keys expertly,   
knowing without looking down just what she wanted to say.  
  
Cye sat and watched her, mesmerized by the sound of the rhythmic clicking as she   
typed on and on. He moved silently out of the room and snagged Mia as she was   
walking down the hall, apparently on her way to the bathroom.  
  
He dragged the startled Mia into Pirro's bedroom and pointed to where Pirro still sat,   
typing away at who knew what. Mia's eyes grew wide and she smiled understandingly   
at Cye. She nodded once to him, then left to go tell the others what Pirro had done.   
After her long stretch of silence, Pirro was now trying to communicate again. Cye could   
feel his heart pounding in his chest.  
  
As far as Cye was concerned, this was cause for a celebration bigger then New Years.   
He sat and watched her type for two full hours that night, before she saved her work,   
then shut down her computer, apparently not wanting him to read what she'd written.  
  
Cye was too happy to care just then. He knew how Pirro worked, and knew that she' let   
him read it when she was done, just like all her stories. He watched her go into the bath   
room, and come out dressed in her pajamas. He tucked her in out of habit, careful not to   
touch her. He turned the light out, and curled up in a chair on the far side of the room.  
  
He'd taken to sleeping like that, just incase Pirro needed anything in the night. Just   
incase she woke up and decided she wanted to talk, not that she ever did.  
  
"Remember everything that I told you  
And I'm telling you again that it's true  
When you're alone and afraid  
And you're completely amazed  
To find there's nothing anybody can do  
Keep on believing  
And you'll discover baby…"  
  
Cye woke up to the sound of Pirro typing again. She sat studiously, her fingers picking   
out the words that would create what Cye believed would be her greatest   
accomplishment yet. For most of the morning Pirro typed, only pausing when Cye   
made her come down stairs to eat breakfast.  
  
Finally, towards lunchtime, Pirro again saved her work and shut down her computer.   
Cye glanced up at her, startled, and set aside the newspaper he'd been scanning. Pirro   
was watching him, as if waiting for him to tell her what they would do. She sat there   
expectantly, commanding action, and Cye found he was standing up and motioning for   
her to follow. "To the beach again?" He asked her. He received her usual blinking   
stare, and decided that it must be what she meant. He told her she better get dressed   
first, and she went into the bathroom. He knew that she must be able to hear him if she   
could understand such things. She came out a few minutes later, freshened up and   
ready for a walk on the beach.  
  
"I'll pack a picnic." He informed her, and she blinked again, then followed him down to   
the kitchen. He pulled a cooler out of a hall closet and began packing a lunch for the   
two of them. He glanced up as Pirro went into the other room, then set down what he   
was doing and followed her.  
  
She had retrieved a boom box that was battery powered. "Alright, we'll have music   
today." Cye agreed, grateful to the fact that Pirro was beginning to do something other   
then stare blankly at walls. He carried the cooler down to the beach with Pirro   
following, toting her boom box.  
  
He set the cooler down in the sand and turned around to watch Pirro spinning the dial   
on the radio, searching for some favorable music. She settled for a song Cye didn't   
recognize, but it didn't sound too modern, like it may have been popular ten or twenty   
years ago.  
  
He wasn't sure why Pirro wanted to hear it, but he knew it wouldn't do any good to ask   
her about it. He settled down in the sand and watched Pirro kneel by the radio and gaze   
at the speakers as if through them she could divine the answer to all her questions, as if   
the sounds could tell her why.  
  
Cye didn't know what more he could do for her that she would accept.  
  
"There's always something magic  
There's always something new  
And when you really really need it the most  
That's when rock and roll dreams come through…"  
  
Kento was thinking back on a talk he'd had with Yulie the evening before. "They   
chained us both up, something about one of us being back up if the other ritual was   
interrupted." Yulie had explained. "They liked to keep Pirro sedated, because when   
they first was brought in there she put up too big a fight, I saw one of their guys walking   
around with a black eye that I didn't give him."  
  
Kento had always thought Pirro's muscles were too week to deliver a black eye, but he   
knew well the effects of adrenalin. Or maybe Pirro had just managed to elbow someone   
in the right place. At any rate, he knew that Pirro had a set of lungs on her, perhaps they   
just didn't want to deal with her, or perhaps they had some alternate motive, Kento   
wasn't sure and it wasn't as if anyone was left to question.  
  
"She kept waking up though, but it was like it wasn't her, she was usually pretty dazed,   
like she didn't know what was going on. Sometimes she'd struggle, but then she usually   
got another injection, or some times they'd just knock her out. That's what they did to   
me too. I'd find that I'd almost gotten free, and they'd knock me out or shoot me up   
with more of their tranquilizer." Yulie went on, his eyes locked in the past.  
  
"There were times when I'd get away with being awake though, I'd be real quiet and not   
move much at all, and that's when I'd see what they were doing to her. I think she was   
awake sometimes, but maybe she was too drugged to care, or maybe she was too tired to   
fight any more.  
  
"They would touch her, and one of them would prick her finger to draw blood, then   
he'd drink it. You know, one of those freaks that pretend to be a vampire for attention.   
You see them on T.V. sometimes.  
  
"Anyway, I don't know if they did things to me when I was asleep, and I'd rather not   
think about it, but while I was awake I did whatever I could to fend them off." Yulie   
paused to shudder and stare into his glass of ice water.  
  
Kento began to wish that not all those jerks had killed themselves so that he could beat   
the pulp out of them. He fisted his hands, but before he could comment on it Yulie   
began to talk again.  
  
"Well, then they chained our arms over our heads and had us kneeling on a platform   
thing, and I knew the ritual was about to start, and by then Pirro was really starting to   
lose it. She began to giggle, and she wouldn't answer me, and I waited until they undid   
my wrists to take me to where the other ceremony would take place that they'd use me   
for, and that's when I got out.  
  
"I couldn't get Pirro out of there though, they surrounded me and I was pushed back to   
another room before I could do anything about it. That's when you guys showed up,   
and you know the rest." Yulie finished.  
  
Sage was frowning. "What I don't get, is the way Cye tells it from there. He says he ran   
into the gunwoman, who according to the papers committed suicide in her jail cell the   
night we broke in to the cult's headquarters. Then, when he couldn't get to the priest in   
time, how did the bowl go flying out of the guy's hands?"  
  
Yulie shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't there."  
  
Kento pulled himself out of the memory of the conversation and looked out the window   
he was standing in front of. Through it he could see where Cye and Pirro were eating   
lunch on the beach. He couldn't comprehend what had happened back there in that   
building where the atmosphere was intoxicating in and of itself. He decided he didn't   
want to know everything that had gone down, like how come Cye hadn't been able to   
get to Pirro when the door was unlocked and no one was in front of him at all, and he   
swore that the gunwoman had been there. Ryo said he'd been coming up behind Cye   
when Cye finally opened the door, and there had been no one else there.  
  
"The beat is yours forever  
The beat is always true  
And when you really need it the most  
That's when rock and roll dreams come through  
For you…"  
  
The constant roll of the surf became an undertone to the old music Pirro had selected as   
Cye lay on his back and gazed at the clouds in the sky. Pirro hadn't moved for half an   
hour, and he was beginning to wonder if she was going to try and stay there for the rest   
of the day. The only way he was sure that she was still alive was the fact that he could   
see that she was breathing.  
  
A new song began to play and Cye recognized it as a melody he'd heard when he was   
about five years old and didn't have a care in the world. He wished he could go back to   
those days before all his problems when his biggest worry was what would happen if   
his mother found out that he'd pilfered a cookie from the cookie jar.  
  
Back then when he would spend his summer days off just running through the surf,   
getting soaked up to his shorts, then scampering back towards the land only to do it   
again. Seashells were treasures unmatched by the jewels of any emperor, and seaweed   
was a slimy fact of life to be used as a weapon against any cootie-infested girl that tried   
to bother him.  
  
He sighed, filled with nostalgia. Yes, those were the days, before he had to worry about   
the responsibility that comes with being a bearer of mystical armor. Wait a minute.  
  
"Once upon a time was a backbeat  
Once upon a time all the chords came to life  
And the angels had guitars even before they had wings  
If you hold onto a chorus you can get through the night…"  
  
Pirro always loved it when her family took her to the lake. She wanted to see the ocean,   
but they always told her when she was older they would go. She frowned slightly and   
wrinkled her nose. Everything would happen when she was older, everything fun   
anyway. She couldn't wait to grow up so she could play with the big kids. For now   
though, she could just play in the small waves of the lake while her parents listened to   
music on a small portable radio.  
  
Her father had told her that the ocean had waves that were much bigger then those of   
the lake, taller than she was even, and that she could accidentally get swept away by   
them and into the ocean where a kappa might grab her and take her away.  
  
She knew that if she ever met a kappa, all she had to do was bow to him, and he would   
bow back and lose the water he stored on top of his head and become weak. Still, she   
wasn't stupid, she knew that it would be hard to bow while floating in the water that   
would be deeper then she was tall, and it wouldn't matter if the kappa lost the water on   
his head because he could get it back from the ocean and then he could attack her.  
  
She was proud of her logic, and the fact that she'd figured it out on her own. Perhaps   
there was another way to face a kappa if she came across one while she was at the ocean   
when she was older, though she'd be much wiser then too, and would probably know of   
all sorts of ways to defeat kappa and all other sorts of demons. Maybe she should have   
a sword, and then she could chop off the kappa's head, but that wouldn't work now.  
  
A sword was too heavy, and she didn't know how to use one properly. She was sure   
her father did though, her father knew how to do all sorts of neat things, and so he   
probably could use a sword, and a bo, and probably even knew how to do magic and   
didn't have to worry about kappa because he could fend them off without even putting   
effort into it. She fantasized an attack on her family by nasty kappa that crawled out of   
the ocean and tried to eat them.  
  
Her father would draw his no-datchi, the blade glinting in the warm sunlight. All the   
other people on the beach would run screaming away as the monster approached, and   
her father would step foreword and proclaim that he would protect his family, then   
engage the creature in a heated battle.  
  
Suddenly Pirro's five-year-old mind saw an opening in her father's defense and before   
she could shout a warning, the kappa had knocked her father on the ground and was   
about to deliver the deathblow. Pirro could hear her mother screaming and crying   
behind her, and she screamed herself.  
  
"DON'T HURT MY DADDY!!!" She shrieked as she charged at him with a smooth   
stone clutched in her hand. Her sudden attack surprised the kappa and distracted him   
long enough for her father to get up. She hurled her stone at the kappa and hit it square   
between the eyes. The kappa dropped its weapon and put a hand to its forehead where   
a welt was slowly forming. Her father, in one deft blow, decapitated the vile being and   
it's body slowly disintegrated into nothing.  
  
She jumped up and down and started cheering for her father. He beamed at her. "You   
helped me defeat the kappa, it would have killed me if you hadn't helped. You've   
proven you're a big girl, and now you're old enough to go swimming in the ocean." He   
told her.  
  
Pirro smiled at her fantasy, then began picking up small pebbles and stones and   
throwing them into the lake, practicing her aim with them. "What are you doing Pirro?"   
She heard her mother's voice ask from behind her on the beach towel.  
  
"I'm practicing to show that I'm a big girl and we can go to the ocean next year." She   
explained. "Just in case we run into any kappa."  
  
She saw her mother and father smile knowingly at each other, and decided that meant   
that she was doing the right thing and should keep practicing so that they really could   
go to the ocean next year, and not just the crummy lake.  
  
"I treasure your love  
I never want to lose it  
You've been through the fires of hell  
And I know you've got the ashes to prove it…"  
  
Cye turned his head to watch Pirro stand up and she began collecting a small pile of sea-  
smoothed stones, then one by one she hurled them into the ocean as hard as she could.   
When she depleted her small pile of ammunition she started again. Cye watched her go   
through this about ten times, each time she carefully stacked her stones into a neat little   
pyramid, then undid her work as she sent each piece flying into the waves.  
  
Cye started as Pirro suddenly let out a soul-wrenching cry that made him think of tales   
of banshees and the spirits of those who died in bloody murders as she launched a final   
stone into the air and watched it catapult into the water with a satisfying splash. Cye   
was on his feet instantly and at Pirro's side a she shrieked at the ocean again and again,   
and only after he put a hand on her arm and startled her into silence did her words   
register in his mind. She'd been shouting and ranting about a kappa, and about her   
family.  
  
Cye didn't know what to make of it, and didn't have time to think it over as the others   
came running down the beach to make sure everything was okay. It seemed that Pirro   
had screeched loud enough to wake Rowen and send him running along with the   
others.  
  
Pirro was now sitting and rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face, but   
again silent and inattentive to the goings on around her. Cye looked helplessly at the   
others as he recounted the events and explained that nothing was wrong that they could   
do anything about. They stood in a circle around Pirro where she was trailing her   
fingers through the sand.  
  
Cye got Pirro inside and she lay down on her bed and went to sleep after crying silently   
into her pillow. Cye motioned for the group to leave and gather in the family room.  
  
"You guys, I think Pirro's gotten worse. She's gone from complete silence to screaming.   
Yesterday I thought she was getting better, but now…" He laid his hands open in his lap   
in a gesture of defeat.  
  
The others were taking in the information in. "So what do we do about it?" Kento   
asked, a frown creasing his forehead.  
  
Cye looked beat as he shrugged. "I haven't got the slightest clue." He admitted,   
wishing he knew the answer. "The doctors didn't really give us much help, and even   
now, chances are they can't help if she won't even acknowledge their existence, and I   
don't want them drugging her up all the time."  
  
The others nodded silently, each individual coming up with their own possible solutions   
to the quandary in their minds, but each of them dashing the solution apart before they   
bothered to voice it, knowing that they could only hope Pirro would give them a clue as   
to how to help her.  
  
"I treasure your love  
I want to show you how to use it  
You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt  
And I know you've got the scars to prove it…"  
  
That evening Cye decided to test a theory that he'd left unsaid about Pirro's state of   
mind. He placed before her three books. One was a children's book that had been   
popular when they were kids. One was a copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream, which   
had a very colorful cover. The third was And Then There Was Her, the first book Pirro   
had ever written that made the top seller's list.  
  
Pirro pushed And Then There Was Her away instantly and picked up A Midsummer   
Night's Dream. She flipped through the pages, but soon put it down and then walked   
away with the children's book under her arm. She set it on a shelf, then returned the   
other two books to their shelves and sat down on the edge of her bed to stare out the   
doorway as if she were expecting someone.  
  
Cye reminded himself to not get frustrated. He had to force himself to take a deep   
breath and not get angry with Pirro for not giving him any clue what so ever. After   
several moments he decided that he had to know what Pirro had been typing earlier. It   
would be his only window into her mind.  
  
He waited patiently until Pirro went to sleep that night, then watched her lay there,   
looking peaceful and carefree. When he was sure she was completely out of it, he   
booted up her computer and started through her files.  
  
He hated the knowledge that if Pirro was in her proper state of mind she'd probably kill   
him for going through her computer files, but he didn't hate it enough that he was about   
to stop. He closed his eyes, then double clicked on the icon marked, "Unfinished   
Stories."  
  
Inside the folder he found a few files pertaining to a large novel, he found the   
beginnings of a short story based on classical Greek Mythology that according to the   
date had been written three years ago. He tried not to think about their life three years   
ago, and scrolled down to see what else was in there.  
  
He instantly knew the file he was looking for when he spotted it. It was titled, "Through   
The Eyes of Someone Dead." Cye didn't want to read this, but knew he had to if he   
wanted to help Pirro. He braced himself as he double clicked on the icon and brought   
up the nineteen-page document.  
  
He had to force himself to read the first paragraph, but once he got through it he   
couldn't rip himself away from the screen.  
  
He glanced at the bed to make sure Pirro was still sleeping, then clicked the "Print"   
button at the top of the page. Once the entire document was on paper, he shut down her   
computer and brought the pages down stairs to show the others.  
  
"You guys, listen to this," Cye said once he got the lot of them assembled. He began   
reading the first passage:  
  
"Hello again, I've found you. Everyone seems to think I'm still alive, everyone thinks   
that I'm really here. I've been dead now for a few days, and though this is hard to   
explain I'll do the best I can.  
  
This writing, this is a magic mirror if you will, into the unknown, the afterlife. The   
hands that typed this are only a vessel to get the message through; they are only the   
telephone wires. I am the one talking on the other end. I am telling you the truth. After   
life, there is only memory.  
  
It is said that a thing lasts only as long as people remember it. Perhaps this is why   
memories are all that exist over here. As long as we keep our memories alive, then we   
can live through them. I don't know what happens when our memories end, though I   
don't think I want to find out. Then again, I didn't want to find out what happened   
when you died, but look how far that got me.  
  
Anyway, I will not explain to you how I died, as I haven't remembered that part yet.   
I'm sure once I do I will die a second time and move on to whatever comes after this   
phase, and it is probably just as abstract as this one.  
  
What I will tell you though, is that memories aren't that bad. Sure, some of them open   
old wounds, but things could be worse. It's strange really, I know how to type, I know I   
could find my way around town without an adult leading me, but by the age of my   
memories I'm four years old.  
  
I don't really see what's so bad about remembering all this. Being young is fun now that   
I know I should enjoy it, and actually believe that old advice. Well, it could be better,   
because I know that somehow I should be able to reach the top shelf of my closet, but I   
can hardly reach the knob…"  
  
Cye trailed off there. "You guys, what's happening to her?"  
  
The others were fairly stunned, and for a moment no one could even answer. "She   
thinks she's dead." Mia said. "But that she's four." The wheals were visibly turning in   
Mia's head, but she didn't have the answer just yet.  
  
Cye set the pages down and sighed. "She thinks she's four when she begins this. By the   
end of what she's written so far she's five and a half."  
  
"And she's re-living all her old memories." Sage said. "Cye, do you think the incident   
today was a reenactment of something that happened when she was five?"  
  
Cye nodded. "That's what I was thinking, why?"  
  
"Cye, how old was Pirro when she got her scars?" Sage asked in his calculating tone of   
voice.  
  
"Shit." Cye cursed.  
  
"How do we get her back?" Ryo asked.  
  
"We make her remember that she's not dead." Sage stated. Cye tried not to shudder.  
  
"Remember everything that I told you  
And I'm telling you again that it's true  
You're never alone cause you can put on the phones  
And let the drummer tell your heart what to do  
Keep on believing  
And you'll discover baby…"  
  
Pirro loved it when her parents read her fairy tales; her favorite one was Beauty and the   
Beast. Tonight however, her dad had taken from the shelf a new book that she hadn't   
seen before. "Pirro, can you read this word?" He asked her.  
  
After a few false starts she managed to sound out the word "Greek."  
  
"That's right!" He announced proudly. "And this word?"  
  
Again Pirro did her best to sound it out. "Myth, myth, mytho, mytholegiky?" She   
asked, her way of saying she couldn't get it.  
  
"Mythology." Her father corrected her.  
  
"Mythology." She repeated, and traced her fingers over the word as if to memorize it   
through osmosis.  
  
"I'm going to read you the story of Eros and Psyche, it's called The Four Tasks." He   
began. Pirro listened avidly to the story her father told her, watching every detail play   
out in images in her mind.  
  
She became the princess abandoned on the mountain top, then picked up by the wind   
and taken to a strange palace where her husband only came to her in the darkness and   
refused to let her see him. She felt the sadness at the loss of her family, and experienced   
the joy at discovering that the man she believed to be some ugly demon was really the   
god of love, Eros. She was devastated when Eros flew away when he discovered she'd   
lit a lamp to look upon his face, proving that she didn't trust him.   
  
Through out the entire story Pirro experienced the magic of the world of ancient Greece,   
and when her father was through she started begging for him to read more. He shook   
his head. "It's bed time Pirro, and if you go to bed right now I'll read you another Greek   
Myth tomorrow."  
  
"OKAY!" Pirro cried as she raced to her room and climbed under the covers. There she   
closed her eyes and pretended to be sleeping while her father glanced in at her, then   
flicked the lights off and left. She smiled as she rolled onto her side and imagined living   
again as the princess in the strange new palace, before she betrayed her husband with   
the lamp.  
  
  
  
Cye woke up when Pirro turned the light on. He blinked a few times to make his eyes   
adjust to the sudden brightness. As he watched, Pirro plucked a book of Greek   
Mythology off the shelves. On her way back towards her bed she stopped to turn the   
radio on softly to the same oldies station, then she climbed under the covers and   
propped the book open in front of her to read.  
  
"There's always something magic  
There's always something new  
And when you really really need it the most  
That's when rock and roll dreams come through  
The beat is your forever  
The beat is always true  
And when you really really need it the most  
That's when rock and roll dreams come through  
For you"  
  
  
  
A/N: Just a small note about kappa. For those who don't know, a kappa in Japanese   
mythology is a water demon that resembles a large turtle (Yes, think the Teenage   
Mutant Ninja Turtles, and you're probably close). Kappas have indented skulls though,   
as they need to carry water with them when they go onto dry land to sustain   
themselves. It is known that if you should run into a kappa, the correct response is to   
bow. Out of courtesy the kappa will bow back and spill the water off of their head and   
then they'd be too week to attack you and have to simply return to the water.  



	24. Stand Inside Your Love 24: Porcelain

Porcelain  
Angelica Diablo  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Red Hot Chilli Peppers own the song. Do own Pirro, the Tanaka family, Sasha, and any other original characters.  
  
  
A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter took so excruciatingly long to get out, but I have a good excuse! I was in Japan for a week through an exchange program, and now I have a better understanding for the culture and can make this story even more accurate. Then, when I got home, I was sleeping for the better part of three days (Because Jet Lag is the devil disguised as a tiny tray of airplane food and a customs agent), then I was at my Grandma's for a week. Then, when I finally return to my computer, lo! FF.N was down! I finally find that it's working again, but I have to go to college, and it took forever for my computer to hook up to the system. So if you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, I'll try to make this chapter worth it, and get another one out soon.  
  
  
  
"Porcelain  
Are you wasting away in your skin?  
Are you missing the love of your kin?  
Drifting and floating and fading away..."  
  
Pirro was bored. Her memory-self was sitting in a math class, and her viewing-self just didn't care. She wanted to speed up to after school when she knew she'd be playing with her best friend Sasha, and then going out to dinner with her family. Her memory-self was brimming with excitement, knowing that her mother was pregnant, and said that there would be a new baby in the family in a few months.  
  
Soon enough, the final bell rang, and her viewing-self went skipping home along side her memory-self. There was a glass of cold lemon water awaiting her when she got in the doorway. After thanking her mother, the memory-self sped off down the street to the secret meeting place where Sasha would be waiting.  
  
Her viewing self took a small time out from the chatter of the young girls to return to the awareness of the body-self. That self was the least important of the three selves, but did serve it's purpose. The viewing self commanded the body-self to go to the computer and catalogue the revelations of the time spent as a seven-year-old-memory-self.  
  
Viewing-Pirro noted that the man was there again, always watching out for the body-self. She wondered why he was taking the time to care for the body-self the way he did, but she didn't recognize him as anyone the memory-self knew. He wasn't part of the information the viewing-self somehow knew; like how to type, and how to operate a VCR.  
  
She had decided several days previous to refer to him as Lev. She knew it meant "heart" in Hebrew, and decided that it would suit him, since his heart always seemed to show in his face.  
  
Lev was trying to talk to the body-self again, but to no avail. The body-self simply didn't have the ability to talk any more, and the viewing-self had no urge to communicate with Lev directly. She suspected that Lev had gotten into her computer and had been reading her journal of this journey after death, but it didn't bother her much. What was she writing for, except to let someone know the truth about death and dieing?  
  
Lev was watching the body-self intently, as if he could unlock some secret by scrying the past in the body-self's eyes. Viewing-Pirro found it almost endearing that Lev was so dedicated. An idea dawned upon her then, as the image of mother's swollen belly returned to her mind. Lev must be her brother, that's why he took care of her so.  
  
Her mother's unborn child in her memory-self's world would be this man! His hair wasn't true red like the rest of her family, but it was red enough, and he was a bit younger then her body-self. Yes, dear Lev was her brother. Viewing-Pirro smiled then, happy that she had such a sweet brother on the way.  
  
Her attention was drawn back to the memory-self's world. As always, after spending time with the body-self viewing-self found that time had sped up several weeks for the memory-self. Viewing-self found herself sharing an armchair with her mother and memory-self. Mother was reading a story to her as she munched on a cookie.  
  
Viewing-self snuggled up against her mother and rested her head on top of the swollen belly and closed her eyes, feeling the tiny movements the baby made inside mommy's belly. The movements Lev was making, Viewing-Pirro corrected herself. Viewing-self let a smile stretch across her face.  
  
"Porcelain  
Do you smell like a girl when you smile?  
Can you bear not to share with your child?  
Drifting and floating and fading away..."  
  
Cye watched Pirro smile in her sleep, and felt his heart lighten. He had missed that smile like he missed the sea after a decade spent inland. His first instinct was to go to her and pull her in his arms, but he knew she'd awaken and grow even more withdrawn. He had to wait for her to let him do that, he had to find a way to break into her mind, he had to bring her back before she re-lived the fire and the death of her best friend. He didn't want her to go through that pain ever again.  
  
He watched her snuggle contentedly against her pillow, then stood to leave the room with a new resolve as he joined the others around the kitchen table. They were discussing, as usual, Pirro.  
  
Cye was glad that he had the entire group now working along side him twenty four hours a day to reach Pirro, though he knew none of what they were doing was helping enough.  
  
As he took his seat at the table between Mia and Kento, he could feel their hopeful eyes on his face. "She was writing again, she's seven years old by her memories. She's sleeping now."  
  
He could feel the tension in the room increase by a small degree as they shared the thought that Pirro was eleven when the fire happened, and she was just getting closer and closer to it.  
  
"She was smiling in her sleep." Cye reported softly, earning the sad smiles of his friends. He glanced up when Mia patted his hand. He gave her a small smile of his own, and she returned it and let go. He sighed, then said, "Let's get down to business, shall we?" The others nodded and got to work on the first order of business; the next days schedule for Pirro.  
  
The others had agreed that Cye needed a break, because the stress of taking care of Pirro all the time was too much for any one person. Mia would be taking care of Pirro the next morning, and the other guys insisted on taking Cye out of the house.   
  
"But what if something happens, and Mia needs help?" Cye asked.  
  
"I'll stay back. I need to catch up on some studying anyway." Yulie offered.  
  
Cye tried his best not to look at Yulie any differently when the teen said that. Ever since the incident, Yulie had avoided going out much, and had elected to stay home more often than not. Cye knew that Yulie was holding his emotions up inside, but he was pretending that he was fine s best as he could. He never spoke about the warehouse where he'd been held captive, or the time he'd spent there unless it was to tell the others about Pirro. Yulie was avoiding his own pain by trying to help Pirro as best he could, and though Cye knew that Yulie needed to get all that hurt out of his system, Cye was too much of a basket case himself lately to really say anything.  
  
Instead of insisting that Yulie get out of the house though, Ryo nodded and said, "Alright Yulie. We know that Mia and Pirro will be in safe hands." A comment, which spoken a decade ago would have sent Yulie skipping through the house with a broad smile on his face, now only earned the slightest flicker of appreciation in the teenager's eyes.  
  
"Kento and I can take her for a walk after lunch so you can go for a swim or something." Rowen offered. Cye caught the bit of smile on Rowen's face when he said "swim or something." Cye sent a silent "thank you" to Rowen, glad to have the chance to swim, something he hadn't done since the cult had appeared in their lives.  
  
"Alright, and I'll have her from dinner time on." Cye said.  
At that point a shriek from upstairs put a dead stop to the meeting, and although he was fatigued from lack of sleep, Cye managed to beat the others to Pirro's room.  
  
Pirro was clutching a pillow to her chest and screaming, "Mom! MOM!!" At the top of her lungs.  
  
"Little lune  
All day  
Little lune..."  
  
Viewing-self smiled as mommy took Memory-self and Viewing-self for a walk though the garden in the back yard. "Look, look Pirro!" Mommy said as she pointed to a flowering bush. "Do you think we should cut fresh flowers and keep them in a vase in the nursery for when your new brother or sister gets here?"  
  
Memory-self considered for a moment, then nodded. "Yes! That way the room can smell nice for the baby!" Memory-self looked proud of her revelation. She was beaming as mommy nodded, then reached out to pluck a flower.  
  
With out warning, mother's face scrunched up in pain and though her mouth moved, no sound escaped. Memory-self was instantly distressed and cried out for daddy. Everything was chaos for a while as memory-self and viewing-self were shipped off to Sasha's while daddy took mother to the hospital.  
  
Viewing-self was too busy watching though the eyes of memory-self, waiting for news about her mother, to bother paying much attention to the body-self. Still, she was connected to the body-self, and was able to sense that the body-self had gone into distress mode as well. The three selves all held their breath and closed their eyes as they heard the telephone ring and Sasha's dad get up to answer it.  
  
Viewing-self was the only one of the three who wasn't worried about the baby as well as mommy. Mommy could be seriously hurt because of this, and might even die, but the baby was going to be fine, and Lev was there to prove it.  
  
Something was happening in the other room, and neither Memory-self nor Viewing-self could make it out. She heard the phone get hung up, and she squeezed Sasha's hand so hard that the other girl yelped in pain.  
  
"Porcelain  
Do you carry the moon in your womb?  
Someone said that you're fading too soon  
Drifting and fading a floating away..."  
  
Viewing-self couldn't take the wait any longer! It was driving her nuts! And it had only been a telemarketer on the phone too! She had to get out of Sasha's place before she went stir crazy, so she decided to pay a visit to Body-self.  
  
She held still for a long moment when she found Body-self rocking back and forth and sobbing, and there was Lev again. Good, Lev was alive, she was sure of this, and therefore the baby was going to be okay. Lev was trying to find a way to calm Body-self down, but it was obvious that he was barely hanging together himself.  
  
Viewing-self moved closer to Lev to see if there was a way she could comfort her little brother. After all, if that was what he was, he must be devastated that his sister died. She slipped into Body-self, as she would if she were going to start typing, and made body-self put an arm around Lev's shoulders. He glanced up at her, startled at her sudden action, but startling Viewing-self even more; Lev was crying!  
  
"Pirro..." She heard him whisper barely over a breath. It took her a moment to orient herself, but she was able to nod at him and pull him into a comforting hug. Her little brother was worth coming back for, especially if they were both about to lose their mommy. She felt him sobbing into her shoulder, and she buried her face in his hair as they cried together. Their poor mommy, their poor family, and poor Lev was about to lose another person as soon as Viewing-self left again, and so she cried for him too.  
  
"I love you Pirro." She heard him whisper into her neck.  
  
Viewing-self took a moment to concentrate, then managed to get Body-self to say, "I love you too Lev." But at this Lev went cold, the pulled away with a fallen face. He looked like he was about to say something, then just left the room. A few minutes later Lev's friend with the blue hair, the loud one, walked into the room and sat on the chair in the corner.  
  
"I was told to watch over you Pirro, your guardian seems to need a break." He said as he reclined and put his hands behind his head. Lev had apparently told him nothing.  
  
Viewing-self was devastated that she'd hurt Lev. She'd called him by Lev for so long, and not knowing what his real name was, she had forgotten that he wouldn't know that he was Lev. She closed her eyes, then went back to wait with Memory-self to find out what was to become of their mommy.  
  
She returned to hear the phone ringing again, and this time Sasha's dad entered the room with an ashen face. "Pirro, Sasha, it's time for you to go to bed." He said, ushering the girls into Sasha's room. Memory-self didn't know just what this meant, but knew it wasn't good.  
  
"Is my mommy okay?" Memory-self asked, angry with herself for letting her voice rise dramatically in pitch at the end of the question.  
  
"Your mother's fine Pirro, she's fine." Sasha's dad started, but before he said more Memory-self interrupted him.  
  
"What's wrong? What's happened?" She demanded. Viewing-self began fidgeting as she listened.  
  
After a moment Sasha's dad sighed and said, "You're mother's fine Pirro, and will be coming home in a few days." After another pause he said, "But the baby got sick, and she won't be coming home."  
  
That caught Viewing-self's attention. She? The baby was a she? She was sick? She wasn't Lev? Who was Lev? And what was wrong with the baby? Before Memory-self could ask any questions though, Sasha's dad pushed the two girls into bed. "Go to sleep girls." He said softly, then closed the door.  
  
Memory-self and Sasha looked at each other, then listened carefully as Sasha's dad went down stairs. In unspoken agreement, the girls slipped out of the room and snuck half way down the stairs to eves drop on the adult's conversation.  
  
"Honey, what happened? What was the phone call about?" Sasha's mom was asking.  
  
"It was a still born. The baby is dead." Sasha's dad answered.  
  
"Oh my god, that poor family." Sasha's mother again. Neither Memory -self or Viewing-self needed to hear any more.  
  
Both selves stood up and walked mechanically up the stairs and back into Sasha's room. Once they were sitting on the edge of the bed they started to sob, quietly at first, then all out bawling. Viewing-self felt as if she'd lost a brother and a sister all in one day.  
  
"Porcelain  
Are you wasting away in your skin?  
Are you missing the love of your kin?  
Drifting and floating and fading away..."  
  
Cye sat at the kitchen table with his face buried in his arms, trying not to cry loudly and wake someone up or draw someone to look in on him, but of course it didn't work and Mia was soon beside him, offering comfort. "Cye, what happened? Tell me, it's alright to tell me."  
  
Mia's arm was around his shoulders then, and he didn't have the strength or the will to resist when she pulled him into a hug and rocked him gently like a mother might. "It's nothing." Cye told her as he tried to stop crying all over her shirt.  
  
"It's Pirro, isn't it?" Mia asked, and of course she was right. He nodded, and she went on, "I know that this is hard on you, and it's a lot of work to take care of someone you love like this. I think you could really use a break from it all."  
  
"What are you suggesting Mia?" Cye asked.  
  
"Let Kento watch over Pirro tonight, and just stay the night in someone else's room. You need to give yourself a break." Mia told him soothingly.  
  
Cye nodded. "Yeah, but all the other guys are already asleep, I don't want to wake them up." He pointed out.  
  
"Then take my room, and I'll take the couch. You deserve it." She said into his hair. Something about her reminded Cye of his mother when he was a child and scared. He nodded, and Mia led him to the room she'd been staying in, and tucked him in to her bed. "Go to sleep Cye, and get some real rest. Go ahead and sleep in even, the others and I can hold the fort down for you."  
  
Cye gave her a weak smile. "Thank you Mia." He said, and closed his eyes, trying to sleep. He heard the click of the light switch and saw the room plunge into darkness through his eyelids. For a moment there was silence, and Cye started to drift off. Just before sleep, he could have sworn he felt a pair of lips kiss his forehead, but then they were gone and he was sleeping.  
  
"Little lune  
All day  
Little lune..."  



	25. Stand Inside Your Love 25: Lost

Lost  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Sarah McLachlan owns the song. Do own Pirro. Do   
own all other original characters. Do hope this one gets out quicker than the last one.  
  
  
  
  
"By the shadows of the night I go  
I move away from the crowded room  
That sea of shallow faces masked in warm regret  
They don't know how to feel  
They don't know what is lost…"  
  
Memory-self clutched her father's hand at the funeral for the tiny baby sister that had   
never taken a breath. Her mommy was standing on her other side, but mommy's face   
was blank and her eyes seemed empty. Memory-self was actually afraid to hold   
mommy's hand, because it didn't seem like mommy at all, but a stranger standing   
beside her.  
  
Viewing-self couldn't take much more of it either. Once the funeral was finished, and   
the tiny casket that reminded her more of a shoebox than a coffin was lowered into the   
ground, Viewing-self left to check on the Body-self.  
  
Body-self was crying her eyes out, and the loud friend of Lev's was looking   
uncomfortable and trying to calm the Body-self down. Viewing-self heard the loud-one   
trying to find Lev, but was only answered by the nice-lady.  
  
The nice-lady, Viewing-self dubbed her Sarama – meaning "nice" – shooed the loud one   
out of the room. Sarama sat down beside the Body-self and handed her a box of tissues.   
Viewing-self grew impatient listening to Sarama talk soothingly to the sobbing Body-  
self. She didn't mind that Sarama was trying to be helpful, but what she really wanted   
to solve was the mystery of just who Lev was.  
  
Viewing-self prompted the Body-self to look questioningly at Sarama. "What is it   
Pirro?" Sarama asked.  
  
"Who…is…Lev?" Pirro asked. When Sarama looked confused, Viewing-Pirro grew   
frustrated. She was sick of not understanding the world of the Body-self. "Sarama."   
She made the Body-self say in an irritated voice.  
  
"Sarama? Me?" The lady said. Viewing-Pirro made the Body-self nod, then turn away   
from Sarama.  
  
"Pirro, what does Sarama mean?" The lady asked, but the Viewing-self had lost interest   
with her. Sarama wouldn't be of any help in unraveling the mystery. She left Body-self   
to curl up and go to sleep as she returned to the unstable world of the Memory-self.  
  
"Lost in the darkness of a land  
Where all the hope that's offered is  
Memories of being taken by the hand  
And we are led into the sun  
But I don't have a hold on what is real  
Though we can only try  
What is there to give or to believe?…"  
  
Mia was frowning at the now sleeping form of Pirro. She was really wondering if there   
was anything that could be done for the girl any more, or if she should just be locked   
away in a mental institution.  
  
Mia hated seeing what this was doing to Cye, how it was running him down and tearing   
him up from the inside out. Cye was wasting himself away over Pirro, and it was all   
Mia could do to keep from bursting. There were times when she felt a knot in her chest   
that pulled so tight she thought she would cry; not so much for herself, but for what was   
becoming of Cye.  
  
She knew that there wasn't much more that any of them could provide for Pirro, and   
although Cye seemed to like to think there was no time limit on how long he would care   
for Pirro, time was running out. All of them were only in the cottage on vacation, and   
none of them had jobs that could be postponed indefinitely without the threat of being   
fired and losing pay.  
  
And they needed pay. It took money to maintain a home for eight people. It took   
money and time that they just didn't have. If there was something else that could be   
done about it, Mia would, but faith only took a person so far. She hated the thought that   
she'd have to remind Cye of all people, that things could be futile, and hope probably   
should be lost by now.  
  
She had cared for Cye as she had cared for the others, thinking of them as her little   
brothers as well as her protectors. They were a well-oiled team that was its own support   
system. She hated to see one of the members of the group in so much pain over   
something that couldn't be helped or fought against. Mia wasn't one to give up hope   
that easily, but although she wasn't about to tell the others about it, she didn't think   
Pirro stood too much of a chance at recovery.  
  
The girl wondered around like a zombie all day, and hardly acknowledged any of them   
most of the time. When Pirro did speak, it was usually in some riddle or code that   
didn't make any sense. And now Pirro was calling her Sarama? What was the girl   
talking about? It sounded like a name, but it wasn't any name that Mia was familiar   
with. And who was Lev? And why didn't Pirro realize that she wasn't dead, because to   
be dead, you would have had to stop moving around!  
  
Mia let herself believe that Pirro was a hopeless cause, but left it at that. She would   
never let herself think about why she might just want Pirro to be a lost cause, why she   
might think Pirro should just leave their lives completely, why Cye should move on, and   
most of all, how she would help Cye move on.  
  
She wouldn't think about it, because she cared for Cye like she cared for the others, and   
just didn't want to see him hurt.  
  
Mia sat down at her own computer and tried to get some work done; she had essays to   
finish grading, and she needed to work on a paper she was writing. She called up the   
file and began to type, but found herself drawn to the words "Sarama" and "Lev."  
  
Finally she saved her work and logged onto the Internet. She paused for a moment,   
then began a search for baby-names websites. Sarama. Lev. What was Pirro talking   
about?  
  
"I want it all to go away I want to be alone  
Sympathies wasted on my hollow shell…"  
  
Viewing-self was torn between watching the Memory-self and the Body-self. She hadn't   
heard from Lev for a while, it was mostly Sarama and Taima, the loud one, which took   
care of her. Lev just seemed to be gone, or perhaps she had hurt him so much that he   
didn't want to see her any more. Or perhaps he was injured physically, and that's why   
he was gone so long.  
  
The loud one was watching the Body-self again, and Viewing-Pirro waited until he   
seemed to have settled into the chair he always sat in before she forced the Body-self to   
speak. "Taima." She said, looking at him.  
  
Taima gave her a startled look. "What did you call me?" He asked.  
  
"Taima." She repeated, watching him.  
  
"Pirro, what's going on?" He asked.  
  
"Where…Did…Lev…Go?" She asked. "Is…He…Hurt?"  
  
"Lev? Who the hell is Lev?" Taima asked.  
  
Viewing-self and the Body-self both frowned, realizing they'd reached another dead-  
end.  
  
"Look, Pirro, I know things are hard right now, but things will all work out fine, I   
promise, just get some rest, okay? I know you're thinking some pretty crazy thing right   
now, but it will all work out. I know you think you're, what, seven years old? But   
you're not! You're, like, twenty-seven or something. I don't know, you never gave out   
your age, but that's not the point. Pirro, you need to snap out of this, okay?" Taima   
rambled.  
  
Viewing-self now out-right scowled at Taima. "Who the hell are you?" She demanded,   
not even realizing she'd made it sound natural as she spoke through the Body-self.  
  
Taima looked startled at himself as well as her outburst. "I think the question is, who   
the hell are you?" He returned, then sat back in his chair and remained silent.  
  
"I feel there is nothing left to fight for  
No reason for a cause  
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near…"  
  
Viewing-Self was brooding as she watched Memory-self play with her dollies as she   
avoided her mother. A lot of time had passed while she was away this time. It must   
have had something to do with the energy she'd put into yelling at Taima.  
  
Memory-self was now nine and a half years old. Her world had healed again after the   
loss of her little sister, and things were back to normal. Right now she was waiting for   
punishment, knowing that any moment her mother would open the microwave to heat   
up her tea and…  
  
"PIRRO!" Her mother's voice echoed through the house. "WHY IS THERE A MELTED   
BARBIE DOLL IN THE MICROWAVE?!"  
  
Memory-self hid under the bed, not feeling like explaining to mommy that Barbie   
wanted a darker tan. Meanwhile, Viewing-self grew frustrated and decided to go back   
to the body-self again.  
  
Taima wasn't there anymore, and was instead replaced by the youngest one. She   
dubbed him Julian, as she watched him through the eyes of the Body-self. He was   
sitting across the room and just staring at her, as if waiting for her to do anything.   
Daring her to do anything.  
  
"Where…Is…Lev?" She posed the question to this one as well, finding it hard to keep   
her voice balanced to hide her growing fury.  
  
Julian narrowed his eyes at her. "Pirro, I don't know who Lev is. Is Lev a pet name for   
Naoki?" He asked. Viewing-self was startled. This one knew Tanaka Naoki? That boy   
her parents had been talking about arranging her union with? Was Lev, Naoki? She   
didn't think Naoki's hair was the right color, but perhaps!  
  
"Where…Is…Naoki?" Viewing-Pirro asked through Body-self.  
  
Julian looked down and sighed, then looked back up at Pirro. "Naoki's dead Pirro. He   
died a few weeks ago. He got shot, and then the guys who shot him kidnapped you.   
You have to remember, you have to!" The kid practically shouted.  
  
"You should see what it's doing to Cye. I mean, I know the two of you broke up and all,   
but he still loves you Pirro. He's been taking care of you, but if you don't get better soon   
they're going to lock you in a mental institution and never let you out." He stormed on.  
  
Who the hell was Cye? Was Cye Lev? Naoki was dead? And if she was still close to   
Naoki, then they must have been married. But where did Cye fit in if she had married   
Naoki? What the hell was going on?  
  
"Who is Cye?" Viewing-self heard the Body-self ask without her prompting. How did   
that happen?  
  
Julian was studying her now. "Cye was your boyfriend for a while Pirro." Julian said   
slowly. "You and he were in love during the time that Naoki and you lost track of each   
other. Ever since the fire you and Naoki had been separated, and you lived alone,   
writing your stories. Then you met Cye, and you fell in love with him." Julian paused   
to catch his breath.  
  
"You and Cye broke up when he asked you to marry him, but you couldn't because of   
Naoki, and then Naoki found you again because of your books Pirro. And you fell in   
love with him too…but Naoki is dead Pirro, and Cye still loves you, and you need to   
snap out of this and tell Cye that it's either over for good, or that you're his, because   
you're driving him more insane than you are right now!" Julian ended with a burst of   
anger.  
  
Viewing-self was about to retreat back into the world of the memory-self to absorb this   
information when the body-self asked, "Julian, why can't I remember?"  
  
"Julian? Me? I'm Yulie!" The one before her exclaimed. "You went through what I did   
Pirro. We were kidnapped. They hurt you, they tortured you, but don't torture Cye   
'cause of it!" His voice leveled off and became stronger as he got himself under control.  
  
"Pirro, you have to remember, because otherwise you'll kill Cye, and he loves you Pirro.   
You should see him when you don't know he's watching you, he looks like he's in   
heaven. When the two of you broke up the first time, it took him almost a year to start   
to get over you. Start, not totally get over you, just start. He wouldn't date, no matter   
who the girl was, or how pretty she was.  
  
"Pirro, look in the mirror, you'll see that you're not what you think you are, you'll see   
that there have been troubles in your past, but you have to live with that and come back   
to us. Just like I have to…" At this, Jul- no, Yulie's voice cracked, and tears flooded   
down his face. He seemed to collapse then, and left both Body-self and Viewing-self in a   
shocked silence.  
  
For hours, Pirro just watched Yulie cry, not sure what to do. When he had fallen asleep   
in his own exhaustion, Viewing-self forced the Body-self to stand and walk into the   
bathroom. She turned on the light and looked in the mirror.  
  
"Lost in the darkness of a land  
Where all the hope that's offered is  
Memories of being taken by the hand…"  
  
Mia stood in the doorway, a computer printout in her hand as she watched the sleeping   
form of Cye. She knocked lightly on the doorframe. In the dim light, she watched him   
stir, then finally blink himself into awareness. "Yeah? Mia? What is it? Is Pirro…"  
  
Mia shook her head and silenced him. "What was the name that Pirro said to you Cye?"   
She asked.  
  
Cye frowned, "Lev. She said 'I love you Lev.'" He frowned. "Why?"  
  
Mia flicked on the light, then tossed the printout onto his lap. Cye stared down at it for   
a moment, then back up at Mia. "Lev means heart?"  
  
Mia nodded. "And look, she's been calling me 'Sarama.' It means 'nice.' And that one,"   
She pointed to the name "Taima." "It means 'Rolling Thunder.' That's what she's been   
calling Kento."  
  
Cye had to snort in laughter. "It suits him."  
  
"Cye," She said. "Pirro was saying she loves you. I think this is proof that she's still in   
there."  
  
"I already knew she was still in there." Cye reprimanded her. "I've known it this entire   
time, but no one believed me."  
  
Mia tried not to look as hurt as she felt. "Touché. You were right."  
  
Cye pealed the blankets away and stood; unaware of how hard Mia was trying to not   
look at him. "If she recognizes me now, and she said she loves me, then I have to go to   
her."  
  
Mia nodded, and stepped aside so that he could exit the room. Her eyes followed him   
as he walked down the hallway to Pirro's room, clad in only his boxers. After a soft sigh   
she turned her eyes away and looked at the printout. This would make him happy,   
somehow it would make him happy.  
  
"And we are led into the sun  
But I don't have a hold on what is real  
Though we can only try  
What is there to give or to believe…"  
  
  
The Viewing-self returned to the Memory-self, and was shocked at what she found.   
Memory-self was now eleven years old, and in Sasha's house. Time must have flown   
again. She didn't know what made it move so fast all of a sudden, but she didn't have   
time to think. She smelled smoke, and so did Sasha and Memory-self.  
  
The image in her mind of the sight that had greeted her in the mirror was all she needed   
to know what was coming. She willed herself back to the Body-self, but nothing   
happened. Memory-self had taken over, and wasn't letting her leave. She watched in   
terror as the pair discovered the flames licking their way up the staircase. They ran from   
room to room, and finally settled on a window from which to call for help.  
  
Viewing-self tried to close her eyes and ears against the sight of her own self with her   
hair on fire. She watched the vivid images with a morbid fascination that she couldn't   
explain.  
  
Her memories sped up and she received the news that Sasha had died, then she started   
physical therapy. Faster and faster through the death of her parents, her decision to   
become a veritable hermit, and finally to the point where she met Cye.  
  
Her mind was reeling as she was taken to the point where she broke up with Cye and   
beyond to the reunion with Naoki, and finally the entrance of the cult into her life. Her   
memories wound down to dark images. She was crying, watching Naoki die, then was   
trapped in a world of blood and smoke. Finally all that was left was darkness and the   
memory-self.  
  
The two girls, Viewing-Pirro and Memory-Pirro stood face to face in darkness. "Now   
you remember." Memory-self said.  
  
"Now I know." Viewing-self answered.  
  
Memory-Pirro took a step foreword and merged with Viewing-Pirro. A moment later   
she was catapulted into the Body-self where the shock of suddenly being awake again   
wracked her body in pain and she cried out.  
  
A moment later she could feel Cye's arms around her, cradling her head against his   
chest. Instinctively she whimpered and pushed him away. He met her gaze with an   
unimaginable pain reflecting in his eyes.  
  
"Pirro, I'm sorry, you were crying, and…" Cye started, then held his breath.  
  
"And you wanted to comfort me. I know. I know Cye, I know." Pirro said, then looked   
away. Now that she remembered, how could she dishonor Naoki's memory by being   
with Cye? In her heart she cried out to Naoki.  
  
"Pirro, Pirro, did you just speak to me? Are you…you remember? You said my name?"   
Cye asked, taking her by the shoulders and forcing her to look at him.  
  
"Yulie told me, he let me remember." She said in barely over a whisper. "Cye, did the   
people who killed Naoki get punished?"  
  
Cye sobered. "They were put in jail, but they escaped. Then, when we defeated their   
high priest they all sort of just, died…" He laid his hands in his lap with the palms up in   
a gesture of defeat. "We don't know how, it just happened."  
  
Pirro looked down at Cye's hands. For a moment she was still, and Cye felt the little   
hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He had the urge to turn around and look over his   
shoulder, but then Pirro reached out and took his hands in her own.  
  
"You are the best…" She told him. "Thank you…" She was silent for a moment, then   
gave his hands a squeeze, and released them. "Thank you." She repeated and closed   
her eyes.  
  
"You want to go to sleep?" Cye asked her. She nodded. "Do you mind if I watch over   
you?"  
  
"Please." She answered without opening her eyes. She lay back in the bed and Cye   
drew the covers over her. He suspected she was asleep before her head even hit the   
pillow.  
  
He turned and found Yulie, curled up in a ball and fast asleep on a chair across   
the room. He roused the youth, and sent him to his own bedroom. Then Cye turned off   
the light and sat down with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders to watch the   
sleeping form of Pirro. "I still love you Pirro." He whispered into the darkness of the   
room.  
  
"I still love you too." A second voice added, though Cye's ears were unable to detect it.   
"I still love you too." Naoki repeated from the shadows of the room.  
  
Pirro stirred, but did not awaken.  
  
"I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try  
I was looking for someone."  



	26. Stand Inside Your Love 26: Tonight Tonig...

Tonight, Tonight  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins own the song. Do own Pirro   
and any other original characters.  
  
A/N: Okay, so college took me by surprise with how little time I'd have to do   
ANYTHING ELSE at all. I am so sorry that I haven't updated, and I'm sure you all   
probably think that I've fallen off the face of the planet and have given up on this story.   
I haven't, I've just been stewing the events around in my mind to a fault. However, I am   
now barricading myself up with my computer and am taking no phone calls until I   
finish this story for you!!! I hope this makes up for my absence…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Time is never time at all  
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth…"  
  
Pirro sat silently on the bed in her apartment. Back here again, right where she started.   
"Right where everything started." She thought to herself as she glanced at the bedroom   
wall for a moment, then looked away. She got a headache every time she thought about   
the events of the past few months, so she found it best just not to think about it at all.   
Maybe if she could just clear her mind completely she would stop having to think about   
Cye and Naoki.  
  
She leaned back on her hands and closed her eyes, resting her chin on her chest.   
"Naoki…" She whispered, picturing his face. How could he be dead? She could feel   
tears prickling the back of her eyes, but she refused to cry. She'd done enough stupid   
stuff since the incident at the airport; she needed to get back some premise of control.  
  
Yes, control was good. Control would be the deciding factor from now on. She'd never   
lose it again, and if she did, it sure as hell wouldn't be in the manor she'd lost it the last   
time.  
  
Stretching, Pirro eyed her computer. She knew she should write, but every time she   
thought of the story she'd been working on she lost heart. One of the characters was   
based on Naoki, and writing about him meant thinking about him, and thinking about   
him meant that she had to face the fact that he was dead, and at that time it was too   
much.  
  
She didn't know what to do with her life at the moment anyway; if she even wanted to   
write any more. Maybe she should just sell out, reveal herself, and collect a hefty couple   
of millions that her publisher had promised her for the day she came out. She could   
stand in the spotlight for a few months, then take the money and go back into seclusion.   
Maybe she'd move to America where no one would notice or care if she didn't have a   
name anyone could pronounce. But she couldn't do that…  
  
She couldn't leave because it meant leaving Cye behind forever. She'd almost lost him   
completely once before, and now she knew that he'd gone through hell to save her, how   
could she just turn her back to him? But how could she face him, knowing what he'd   
done for her, when all she wanted was to have Naoki back?  
  
She didn't know what to do. Perhaps selling out and ending it all was the right idea   
after all. It would bring the finality she wanted, and then she could just start over again.  
  
"And our lives are forever changed  
We will never be the same  
The more you change the less you feel…"  
  
Pirro had only been back home for a few days, and she was still raw and bleeding   
inside. She remembered waking up the morning after she snapped out of "her insanity"   
as she called it now, and seeing Cye sleeping peacefully in the chair across the room.  
  
She had lain there and watched him doze for what could have been half an hour, her   
mind reeling and stumbling over itself as it picked through the information overload it   
was receiving after being nearly inactive for days. She had been forced to face   
everything, and she had the nagging urge to do something about it, being fueled by the   
feeling of emotional rebirth she had experienced the night before. She wanted to find   
some people she'd remembered… the people she used to know. Maybe try to find   
Sasha's family, or her old classmates, and make some connection to the past again.  
  
Then Cye began to talk in his sleep, interrupting her train of thought. She'd held her   
breath as he whispered of his relief that she was okay, how worried he'd been, how   
happy the others would be. Then he said, "I love you so much Pirro, don't leave again."  
  
That had completely derailed the train of thought, sending it cascading down a   
mountainside. No more plans of how she was going to get in touch with her past and   
make amends and become a new person; she was slammed back into reality where she   
had someone who loved her more than his own life sitting in front of her, and she didn't   
know what to do.  
  
She slid out of bed and padded across the floor to where her suitcase sat in the corner.   
Apparently while she'd been vacant upstairs, she'd been well cared for. She hadn't been   
sure how long she'd been out of it, but at that moment she had one thought, "Run   
away."  
  
She had pulled on fresh cloths while she outlined a plan in her head. She'd have to have   
to be quiet about it, but maybe she could sneak out before anyone found her, and she   
could then get to a bank and get home. She didn't want to inconvenience these people   
any longer, and she really didn't want to face Cye.  
  
Just as Pirro had been picking up her suitcase there had been a knock on the door.   
Before she even had time to set the suitcase down, Mia walked into the room. Mia's   
mouth was open as if she was about to speak, but the sight of Pirro standing there and   
not looking vacant had stunned her into silence.  
  
"Hi Mia." Pirro had said timidly, hoping that her plans about leaving weren't obvious.  
  
Cye woke up then, and blinked at Pirro. "Hey, where're you going?" He'd asked.  
  
"Nowhere." Pirro had replied, trying to sound nonchalant as she put her suitcase where   
it had been in the corner. "I was trying to be quiet."  
  
"Well, would you two like to come down to breakfast?" Mia offered, obviously burning   
up with unasked questions as to how Pirro was suddenly well again.  
  
Pirro had nodded, and glanced at Cye who was smiling at her in a way she wished he   
wouldn't. He was so happy to see her feeling better that he couldn't help it, and she felt   
even more horrible for having been about to run away.  
  
"We'll be down in a moment." Cye said to Mia, implying that he wanted to speak with   
Pirro alone first.  
  
Mia had taken the hint and smiled at Cye before nodding. "Alright." She said, then left   
the room, not sure just what to make of Pirro's recovery.  
  
Once Mia was out of earshot, Cye had turned to Pirro. "Pirro, do you know where you   
are?"  
  
She was silent for a moment, then shook her head no.  
  
"We're in the cottage in Osaka." He said, then stood up and walked over to her. "Pirro,   
I don't know what made you remember everything, but I'm sorry."  
  
Pirro had looked up at him, suddenly very much aware of the short distance between   
them, noting that it would only take one step for her to be in his arms. "I know you   
are." She forced herself to speak. "It wasn't your fault. I had to remember it, and now I   
have to face life with what happened." She'd told him, though she didn't sound like she   
was full of conviction for facing her life at the moment.  
  
Something in Cye's expression changed as he realized just how uncomfortable he was   
making her, and he took a step back. "And if you ever want help, or a shoulder to lean   
on, you know I'm here Pirro." He said, then added, "Come on, breakfast is ready, and   
the others are waiting."   
  
Pirro, grateful for the change of subject, had nodded and followed Cye down to the   
kitchen where she was greeted by a silent Ryo, an intrigued Sage, a barely-suppressed   
Kento, and a half-awake Rowen. Once Mia and Yulie joined them, they all had a   
relatively normal meal. Pirro hadn't taken part in the conversation much, and hadn't   
offered anything about the previous night at all. After breakfast she had told Cye that   
she wanted to return to her apartment back in Toyama, and try to get her life back   
together.  
  
Cye had looked like he wanted to say something to get her to stay just a little longer, but   
instead he nodded and complied with her wishes. He'd even contacted the people that   
had Pirro's things in storage in Osaka and had them shipped back home for her, then   
he'd arranged for her to take a bullet train back, knowing how much she would dread   
taking a plane again. Gratefully, Pirro had thanked Cye for everything he'd done, as   
well as the others.  
  
When everyone else was busy making arrangements to get home and calling up their   
work places to get back on schedule, Pirro had cornered Yulie and talked to him alone.   
"You know, you're the one who woke me up, and I know you fought to save me too,   
when we were being held by that cult." Pirro spoke, her words halting and unsteady.  
  
Yulie nodded. "I know Pirro." He said. "But you helped me too. I had to face myself   
to face you, and I think I'm going to be okay to go home now."  
  
Pirro hugged Yulie tight, and the two shared a moment of silence for what they'd gone   
through together, Pirro wishing she had been stronger for the youth, so she could help   
carry his burden.  
  
"Hey, I've seen a lot of freaky things just hanging out with the guys all the time." Yulie   
had consoled her. "I'm used to being a hostage by now, it shouldn't phase me much any   
more." He said with a sarcastic smile.  
  
Pirro nodded. "I guess I should try to learn from you then."  
  
They hadn't been able to talk any longer; as the others had found them, and they were   
both lost in the final preparations for the journey back home. Yulie's frantic parents had   
been ecstatic to find that he was alive and at least physically well. They had been   
hounding Ryo to get the teen home, even though Yulie had talked to them and coerced   
them into giving him permission to stay as long as the others.  
  
Finally, the group had parted company the next day. The others took rental cars and   
taxies to the airport for their flight, and Pirro had been left with an hour before her train.   
After seeing the last of them off, she'd walked over to the Tanaka family house to say   
good-bye. She knocked on the front door, but received no answer. After several   
minutes of being ignored, Pirro laid the bouquet of roses she had bought for them on the   
doorstep with a note attached.  
  
"Thank you for letting me be a part of your family for only a short time." The note had   
said, and enclosed was a check that would cover Naoki's funeral expenses. "As he was   
my husband in my heart, if not by law, and as such, the burden is mine as well." Was   
written along the line at the bottom of the check. She had taken a final look at the house   
that was almost her home, then had gotten in her cab and left Osaka for good.  
  
"Believe, believe in me, believe  
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain  
We're not the same, we're different tonight  
Tonight, so bright  
Tonight  
Tonight…"  
  
Back in Toyama, Piro sat at her desk in her apartment and rifled through stacks of   
papers that she had just shoved in a box back in Osaka and hadn't bothered to go   
through in any seriousness while she unpacked. Two documents fell out of her grasp   
and hit the floor. For a moment she stared down at them, almost surprised to find them   
there at all, then picked them up to look at them closer.  
  
The one on top was her copy of the pre-nuptial agreement that Naoki had signed, and   
she instantly found herself remembering the warm night she'd spent with him when   
he'd revealed it to her. She held it for a long time, just thinking about Naoki again,   
wondering if he was a spirit like that Kaiya girl, and if Naoki were still around.   
Perhaps…perhaps he was still near her.  
  
After several moments of contemplation, she switched the two papers around in her   
hand and looked down at the will she'd had written up just before Naoki had first re-  
established contact with her. It seemed like forever since she'd even thought of this will,   
but she looked it over and sighed.  
  
It stated that when she died, her identity would be revealed to the public as Julie   
Shudder. She stated that she would like her head stone to read:  
  
Pirro Yoshimoto  
"Julie Shudder"  
Writer, Reader  
Human Being  
  
She had also stated that her money was to go to charity and other worthwhile causes.   
Her personal things were to be sold and given away to whoever might want them,   
except that her manuscripts and most of her book collection were to go to a local library   
whose website she enjoyed frequenting. Finally, her computer and her poetry books   
were to go to Cye.  
  
Cye. He was the only specific person she had left anything to in her will, as she had no   
other friends, and no family. She was surprised to realize what a lonely and sad life she   
had. She put both papers down and went to the phone, intent on calling Cye, when she   
realized that she didn't know his new number. She searched through the scattered   
papers on her desk until she found it, gazed at it a moment, then picked up the phone   
and dialed. After several rings she heard the answering machine pick up. She frowned,   
then put the receiver down. She'd just try back later.  
  
Naoki watched her from his perch in the corner of the room as she hung up the phone.   
He walked to her side, put his arms around her in a hug, then left. He had been the   
reason those papers had fallen to the floor. Although he'd only meant for the will to   
slip, the pre-nuptial had just gone with it. It didn't matter anyway; the desired result   
was still the same. He wandered on his way to Cye's place. Perhaps he'd be able to do   
better work there.  
  
"And you know you're never sure  
But you're sure you could be right  
If you held yourself up to the light…"  
  
Cye had just gotten back from work in time to hear the phone ringing as he was   
unlocking his door. He rushed in and got there just as the answering machine picked up   
and the caller disconnected. He sighed, figuring it couldn't have been that important.   
He put his coat on the armchair and went in the kitchen to make himself something for   
dinner.  
  
As he passed by his desk a small stack of papers fell to the floor. He turned to pick them   
up when he noticed the paper that was on top. It was a letter Pirro had penned to him a   
long time ago, still bearing the crinkle-marks from when he'd rolled it up into a ball and   
thrown it into his desk, though he had no idea how it had gotten to be mixed in with the   
rest of the papers that had fallen.  
  
"You've been hurt, we all hurt. But you, you are different. You are not made to hurt this   
way; you were made to be loved. And who wouldn't love you? Who wouldn't want to   
be loved by you? You always will be loved, never forget that." The first contact Pirro   
had ever made with him; the first time she'd reached out to anyone since she'd locked   
herself away after the death of her parents.  
  
He held the paper for a long time, re-reading the few simple lines that didn't say much,   
but said enough. Pirro had been in love with him before he even knew she existed on   
the other side of that wall. He held in his hand proof that Pirro had sacrificed for him   
more than he'd sacrificed for her in comparison.  
  
She had risked exposing herself to the public as the author Julie Shudder, risked her   
health by going outside after being out of sunlight for years, risked her heart by finding   
the courage to finally reach out to communicate with someone other than a computer,   
and risked her honor by listening for his response. He knew he'd hurt her, and she'd   
hurt him more than she'd ever know. The lines had been drawn, but all he knew was   
that he had the chance to talk to her again, and he wasn't going to pass it up.  
  
He picked up his phone and dialed her number expectantly. Surprised to get a busy   
signal, he slowly hung up. "I'll try back later…" He thought, then turned away and   
went into the kitchen to start dinner.  
  
Naoki stood frowning at the phone, wondering what Pirro was up to. He was certain   
that his plan to get them talking again would work, but the two just kept missing each   
other. He looked in at Cye, who had immersed himself in his cookbook, then left to re-  
think his plan.  
  
"And the embers never fade in your city by the lake  
The place where you were born…"  
  
Pirro hung up, feeling giddy and ill. That was a phone call she could have done   
without, but it didn't matter. Done was done, and there was no getting away from the   
inevitable. She figured she'd better call her lawyer soon, but that could wait a few   
hours. She sat down at her computer and turned it on, welcoming the familiar hum of   
the machine.  
  
She needed to type; it didn't matter what about. She just needed to get her thoughts   
down on paper and get them out of her head. She wasn't sure what exactly she'd just   
agreed to a moment ago, but perhaps things would be better this way. She'd been   
thinking a lot lately, and besides, it was time to start putting things back together again.  
  
After several hours of pounding her keyboard to exhaustion, she stared blankly at her   
screen. Sighing, she shut down and pulled a jacket over her shoulders.  
  
Pirro only paused a moment just outside her building to decide whether to go right or   
left, then started moving. "Yes," She thought to herself, "Going for a walk is a good   
thing to do right now, to clear my head. Besides, done is done, and there's no going   
back now."  
  
Back in her apartment her phone rang, then disconnected at the sound of her answering   
machine picking up. Across town Cye frowned at his phone, wondering where Pirro   
was, then shrugged and picked up a book to start reading.  
  
"Believe, believe in me, believe  
In the resolute urgency of now  
And if you believe there's not a chance tonight  
Tonight, so bright…"  
  
Naoki glanced up from where he sat, perched in a tree in the park, as Pirro walked by.   
What the hell was she up to now? He followed after her for a bit, trying to pick up on   
what she was thinking about. He caught a few glimpses of her mind now and then, but   
nothing substantial. There was a word here, a phrase there, but nothing that meant   
anything at all to him.  
  
Finally Pirro sat down on a bench to give her tired legs a rest, and Naoki sat beside her,   
watching her closely, trying to discern what she was feeling from the expression on her   
face. He could tell something was troubling her, and he wondered if she had spoken to   
Cye in his absence. No, that couldn't be it. If speaking to Cye had troubled her so   
much, she wouldn't be here in the park; she'd be throwing things around in her   
apartment or crying.  
  
Suddenly Pirro put her face in her hands and sighed heavily, and Naoki was almost   
blown over by the sudden out burst of her thoughts, all clear and filled with emotion. "I   
just can't write about Naoki anymore anyway…and besides, I would have agreed   
sooner or later anyway. I just can't write anymore. I'll just give them exactly what they   
want, and maybe they'll let me have what I want."  
  
Naoki stood up and stared hard at Pirro, loosing the connection, but not needing to hear   
any more. He knew what Pirro wanted; she'd confessed it late at night to him when she   
thought she was alone. She wanted peace, to be left alone, to write without having to   
worry if it would sell. She wanted to retire, to settle down, to live a normal life.  
  
He didn't think that she would like the result if she did what she was about to do   
though. "So that's why the phone was busy…" He thought out loud, not that anyone   
could hear him.  
  
A moment later Naoki was standing beside Cye, trying to get his attention. "Come on, I   
know you're not supposed to be able to hear me, but you need to listen to me now! I'm   
going to give you the signal, then you have to call Pirro, okay? Do you understand?"   
Naoki asked.  
  
As if in blatant refusal to pay attention, Cye got up and started getting ready for bed.   
Naoki cursed in frustration as Cye made his way into the bathroom. Things were not   
working out.  
  
In his anger Naoki smacked Cye's television set, unintentionally turning it on. Startled,   
he jumped back as a news program came back on from commercial brake. Naoki   
frowned as the newscaster smiled and announced, "And this, a special report that just   
came out, apparently there has been a great disturbance in the literary world." Naoki's   
jaw dropped. Already?  
  
"There's a rumor of the best-selling author, Julie Shudder, announcing that she is going   
to show her face in public, and tell the world who she really is. It seems that her name   
isn't Julie at all, but Pirro, and that in one of her latest books, "Living through a Wall,   
Wishing on a Star" the main character was based directly on herself, and although she   
had changed some aspects of it, it was in fact an autobiography."  
  
There was a crash behind Naoki, causing him to turn around to see Cye standing there   
with his jaw hanging open. Naoki doubted Cye had even noticed the fact that he'd   
dropped the hairbrush he'd been holding, which had knocked over a pile of books and   
scattered them all over the floor.   
  
Naoki watched as his own emotions played across Cye's face. After a few moments,   
Cye snapped out of it, crossed the room, and picked up the phone.  
  
"Well," Naoki sighed. "At lest he's trying to call her again, though I doubt she's home.   
My plan almost worked."  
  
Cye however, seemed more intent on getting a hold of her than earlier. Naoki watched   
Cye sit up for half an hour, then call again, and again, and again, until he got an answer   
from a person other than a machine. "Hello, Pirro?" He said.  
  
Naoki moved to Pirro's side, going through the phone lines. He wanted to watch over   
Pirro for this. Once he was there, he pressed his ear against the phone to listen in.  
  
Pirro appeared stunned to hear that Cye had already found out about her decision, that   
it had made the presses so soon. "Oh my god, it's gone that far already?" Pirro had to   
pause to get her bearings. "Cye, thank you for calling, I had no idea. I was going to call   
you earlier, but you weren't home."  
  
"That's alright." Cye's voice came, sounding like he didn't know if he should be tense   
or relieved. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine, I just," She paused for a moment, her mind reeling. "I had no idea word   
would travel so fast. I just made the decision a few hours ago; I didn't know it had hit   
the press. I'm sorry you had to find out like that."  
  
"It's alright, I understand." Cye said, then paused. "I just wanted to make sure that   
someone hadn't sold you out or something." He was silent again.  
  
"Cye?" Pirro asked almost hesitantly, knowing that she was about to get emotional, and   
she didn't think she wanted to be alone for long.  
  
"Yeah?" Cye replied.  
  
"Could we get together over lunch tomorrow? I mean, if you have the time?" She   
asked, and Naoki noticed that her fingers were crossed. 'Perhaps if I can hold on until   
then…' Naoki could hear her thinking.  
  
"Yes." Cye answered, after a moment, as if unsure what to expect. "How's twelve   
thirty sound? That's my lunch break."  
  
Naoki didn't hear the rest. He stepped away, figuring that he'd done all he could. With   
a smile, he went into the other room to give Pirro her space.  
  
"Tonight  
We'll crucify the insincere tonight (tonight)…"  
  
Pirro was anxious as she glanced at the clock. In ten minutes she'd walk outside her   
apartment, down the street, and meet Cye in a restaurant they always used to have   
lunch in. She didn't know why she wanted to go there, but she'd been the one to   
suggest it.  
  
After talking with her lawyer she knew that she had a window of time that she could   
use to pull out of this deal and not go public at all, but that window was rapidly closing   
in front of her. She didn't want to tell the world who she was, or about her past, but if   
what Cye said was true, then it didn't matter. The world already knew enough about   
her that even if she did turn back now it was too late; the floodgate was open, and she   
felt like she needed something to cling to, or someone.  
  
The only person left in the world that she cared enough about to put in her will, and she   
was afraid to look him in the eye.  
  
The clock ticked down and she knew she had to leave or she'd be late. Taking a deep   
breath she left her apartment and let her feet take her where they were to go.  
  
She couldn't help the paranoid suspicion that everyone who looked at her knew that she   
was Julie Shudder as she walked down the street. She hurried into the restaurant when   
she got there, and instantly spotted Cye sitting at a table in the back. After a quick   
glance around she walked across the room and sat down across from him.  
  
"Oh hey!" He said startled at her sudden arrival. "Hiding from someone?" He asked   
as she looked around and then turned her face from the room.  
  
"I just can't kick the paranoid suspicion that everyone knows who I am." Pirro   
explained as she picked up her menu to hide behind.  
  
Cye gave her a reassuring smile. "I doubt it." He said. "Your picture hasn't been   
released yet has it? No one would know." He tried to calm her down, though he   
noticed the bustle of people turning around in their seats to catch a glimpse of Pirro,   
then quickly turning away so as not to be too obvious.  
  
That's when the lady sitting at the table beside them turned to them with a large smile   
on her face. "Oh, pardon me. I didn't want to believe anything, but hearing you talk, it   
just has to be you." She said to Pirro in a solicitous voice.  
  
"Oh here it comes…" Pirro thought as she peered over her menu at the woman. "Has to   
be whom?" She asked out loud.  
  
"Why, I'm sure you don't want to cause a big stir or anything, but wouldn't you be the   
young girl who writes under the name of Julie Shudder?" The woman asked, lowering   
her voice. Pirro couldn't help notice that half the restaurant seemed to be watching   
them and blushed.  
  
"Who?" Cye asked, surprising Pirro.  
  
"Julie Shudder," The woman said. "You know the one who wrote such books as…"  
  
"Oh, right, I know who you mean." Cye said, cutting in. "No, I'm sorry, you've got the   
wrong person."  
  
"My name is Mandy." Pirro said unfalteringly, now that Cye was backing her up.  
  
Suddenly embarrassed at drawing attention to Pirro's obvious resemblance to Julie   
Shudder's scars, the woman quickly apologized, then went back to her own meal.  
  
"Thank you." Pirro mouthed to Cye.  
  
"Any time." Cye mouthed back, then said out loud, "So, what looks good to you?" He   
asked with a small smile.  
  
Pirro looked relieved, then shrugged and said, "I haven't decided yet."  
  
"We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight (tonight)…"  
  
After lunch Cye and Pirro left the restaurant and walked towards the park. Their   
conversation was light but friendly, and Pirro was reminded of the first time they'd met.   
"So tell me, what have you been up to for the past few years?" She asked him finally as   
they wandered along the paths.  
  
"Not much." Cye said. "I got a job with a marine research group, and we've been   
studying the Orcas lately." He told her, and she smiled. "Just boring stuff you wouldn't   
be interested in." He joked.  
  
"Oh, I see how it is." She told him. "No new friends, no new stories, nothing at all in all   
this time. I'm surprised you didn't die of boredom."  
  
Cye gave her a good-humored sideways glance. "You're right, it's a miracle." He   
agreed as they rounded a bend. "What have you been up to?"  
  
Pirro shrugged. "Nothing much, other than writing and the usual." She told him.   
"And the guy who moved in to your old apartment is obnoxious." She informed him.  
  
"How so?" Cye asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"He keeps blasting this loud noise that he swears is music, but even the teenagers that   
live across the hall and like heavy metal and rap agree with me that it isn't." She said.   
"He insists to everyone who's come knocking on his door that he is an artist and a   
psychologist, and therefore he must have his 'music' going as loud as possible for him to   
clear his mind and work, and on top of that, he has taken it upon himself to cure   
everyone in the building."  
  
Cye laughed. "What do you mean?"  
  
"He tried to get the entire floor to come to group therapy so he could psychoanalyze   
them, and when I didn't show he started knocking on my door, and has since tried to   
find a way to break my anti-social tendencies." She said, with a smirk.  
  
Cye laughed and for a moment, Pirro thought he was going to take her hand, like old   
times. She had to stop herself from slipping back into her old mind set as they   
continued to walk along.  
  
"So when do you have to get back to work?" Pirro asked, knowing he'd gone to the   
restaurant on his lunch break.  
  
"Actually, I have the rest of the afternoon off." He told her. "It was a slow day, and   
there wasn't much to do except for some paperwork, so most of us went home early."  
  
Pirro wondered if he'd gotten permission to take the afternoon off because of her, but   
she wasn't going to press it. Twenty minutes later Pirro had to sit down, and the chose a   
bench in the shade.  
  
They talked as they watched the people passing them by, and eventually the   
conversation began to wind down. Between a break in topics Cye asked, "I was   
wondering if you'd like to come to dinner at my place tonight, if you don't have   
anything planned. You'll be out of the spot light for a while."  
  
Pirro thought for a moment, but already knew her answer. "I'd love to, I'd be insane to   
pass up your cooking." She told him with a friendly smile, hoping she didn't sound too   
overjoyed. It was as if they were kids who weren't sure if they were dating or not. They   
talked together easily as ever, but now and then Pirro or Cye would pause, and the rift   
that had opened between them years ago would be present, and Pirro knew that Cye   
could sense it too.  
  
"Well, I've got to get dinner on." Cye said, standing up. "Need a ride home?"  
  
"Sure, thanks." Pirro accepted.  
  
When they got to her apartment building, Pirro said, "You can just drop me off here."  
  
"Alright." Cye conceded, then handed her a piece of paper. "Here's the address to my   
new place."  
  
"I'll be there at six then." Pirro smiled, taking the paper and tucking it away in her   
pocket.  
  
"I'll be waiting for you." Cye warned her, then drove off.  
  
As soon as Pirro was inside her apartment she flopped down on her bed and bit her lip –   
a habit she'd only recently picked up. "What do I wear?" She asked the air around her.  
  
"We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight (tonight)  
The indescribable moments of your life tonight (tonight)  
The impossible is possible tonight (tonight)…"  
  
Pirro took a taxi and arrived in front of Cye's new place about a minute early. So as not   
to seem anxious, she dawdled in paying the driver and walking up to the building.   
Finally she could put it off no longer, and hit the buzzer to Cye's apartment to be let in.  
  
"Yes?" Cye's voice asked.  
  
"Hey, it's me." Pirro said into the speaker, forcing her voice steady. She didn't want   
Cye to know that she'd been picturing this moment repeatedly for hours to the point   
where she had probably foreseen every possible outcome of the evening, and not all of   
them were happily ever after. She mentally chided herself and forced her mind to still at   
the tone of the door being unlocked.  
  
"Come on up." Cye told her, his voice followed by a click that meant the connection had   
been broken as Cye released the speaker button up in his apartment. Pirro took a   
breath, then walked inside. She didn't know what she expected as she walked up the   
two flights of stairs; if she wanted to rekindle the friendship that they'd shared when   
their only contact was through a bedroom wall, or if she wanted to give breath to the   
embers of romance and love she could still feel smoldering in her heart, though she'd   
done her best to smother them with the help of Time's hand.  
  
Pirro knocked on the door of Cye's apartment and stood with a mixture of giddy   
anticipation, and quivering trepidation as she heard the slide of the lock, and watched   
the doorknob turn. Then, all too quickly the door was swinging open and Cye stood   
before her, and Pirro could have sworn he'd changed his shirt since lunch.  
  
"Good evening." Cye said with a bow. "I'm glad you could make it."  
  
Pirro returned the bow. "As I said, I'd be a fool to pass up any meal you cooked."  
  
Cye stepped aside to let her in, and as she crossed the threshold, Pirro spotted a picture   
sitting in a frame that had been taken of the entire group at Mia's house.  
  
The picture showed herself and Cye standing with their arms around each other, Kento   
giving Cye bunny-ears, and Rowen laughing and elbowing Kento in the side. Mia was   
next to Pirro, and Ryo and Sage were off to her other side. Kayura and the ex-warlords   
were grouped around the back making up the second row, and White Blaze was   
apparently stalking something in the grass while Yulie tried to catch him. Pirro   
remembered that the tiger had knocked over the camera moments after the timer had   
gone off, which had lead to a chase around the front lawn as the oversized house-cat   
made off with the camera, tripod and all. Fortunately Ryo had managed to wrestle the   
camera away from Blaze and salvage the film as Rowen – the owner of the camera –   
threatened to skin White Blaze alive and turn him into a throw rug.  
  
Pirro smiled and picked the picture up. "I'm surprised you still have this out." She said   
before she could catch herself.  
  
Cye smiled as she put it down self-consciously. "I couldn't help it, that was a good day,   
full of fond memories." He said. "Now come on, I'll give you the grand tour later, but   
for now the soup's getting cold."  
  
Pirro grinned and followed him into the dining room. Something was buzzing around   
in Pirro's heart and tugging in the back of her mind. Something that was almost alien to   
her lately.  
  
Hope flew around inside Pirro, a sparkling little white light that added a bit of glimmer   
and shine to the expression in her eyes when her gaze met Cye's, and intensified when   
the glimmer was answered by an echo in Cye's smile.  
  
"Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight  
Tonight, tonight  
Tonight…  
  
Tonight" 


	27. Stand Inside Your Love 27: You Mean Ever...

You Mean Everything To Me  
Angelica Diablo  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. Do own Pirro, Naoki, and other originals. Shawn   
Mullins owns the song. I'll admit, I've been putting off finishing it, because ending this   
story is going to be like loosing my best friend, so ignore the overly sentimental author,   
and just enjoy the story. Oh, and there will be an epilogue soon.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I've been on the road too long  
And I've been stuck inside a song  
And you know our love  
Has been through rougher weather…"  
  
Cye was the first person Pirro thought about when the morning sun woke her up. She   
could smell his scent all around her, and the warmth of his body at her side. She knew it   
was Cye before she even opened her eyes. The question was how had she gotten there?  
  
She felt the bed move as Cye shifted in his sleep and she opened her eyes to see him   
nuzzled up against his pillow. She stretched her stiff muscles and realized she was   
under a blanket and all tucked in, and she knew she hadn't fallen asleep like that. A   
glance at Cye revealed that he was lying on top of the covers. She must have fallen   
asleep out on the couch last night and he'd put her to bed.  
  
Pirro closed her eyes again and tried to force herself to think, but it was hard when she   
was lying in bed next to Cye after all this time. For a long moment all she could do was   
force herself to breathe, her emotions reeling and her mind unable to catch up. All she   
knew for certain was that she didn't want to leave Cye's apartment and have to face the   
world again.  
  
She shifted so she could burry her face into her pillow and blot out the light. It was   
defiantly not time to get up yet.  
  
"But our passion's like a rose  
The seasons tell it how it grows  
And not much compares  
To the time we've shared together…"  
  
Cye could feel another warm body in bed with him, and he was afraid that if he opened   
his eyes it wouldn't be real. Slowly he cracked one eyelid, then the other, then blinked a   
few times. Yes, she was real, and curled up in his bed, just where he'd tucked her in the   
night before. He reached out to her to pull her into his arms, then stopped with his hand   
hovering in the air. No, he couldn't.  
  
He couldn't wake her; he couldn't push things too far, not now. He wouldn't do   
anything that might make her leave.  
  
He pulled his hand back and dropped it at his side. She looked so peaceful as she lay   
there, the morning light playing off her hair and driving him slowly insane. She was the   
only thing he wanted right then, and if there was any way for him to make things better   
for her in the world he would. She knew he'd lay down everything for her, and already   
had.  
  
He held his breath as she stirred, and felt his pulse quicken as her eyes opened and   
looked into his own. "Good morning." He whispered.  
  
"G'morning." She replied, then gave a small smile. "Sorry for falling asleep on you."  
  
Cye shrugged. "That's alright, it's not like it hasn't happened before."  
  
Cye watched as she gave a small chuckle and stretched. "What time to you have to get   
to work?" She asked.  
  
Work! Cye turned to look at his bedside clock and breathed a sigh of relief. "I've got an   
hour." He told her.  
  
"Alright." Pirro said, sitting up. "Thank you Cye."  
  
Cye sat up as well. "What for?"  
  
"Everything." She told him. Cye realized she was about to move towards him, and he   
was about to react by pulling her into his arms, but both of them stopped at the same   
instant.  
  
"You're welcome." He said softly, wanting to just reach out towards her, but he held   
himself back.  
  
Pirro glanced at the clock. "I'll put breakfast on, you get ready for work." She   
instructed.  
  
With a smile Cye consented. "Deal." He watched as she climbed out of his bed, then   
went to the kitchen to begin work. For a long moment he just watched her through his   
bedroom door, then he closed it and began getting ready.  
  
" 'Cause love heals everything  
We're no exception to the rule  
You mean everything to me…"  
  
Pirro found her way around his kitchen, and by the time Cye had gotten out of his   
shower she had everything served. When Cye smiled at her it was all she could do to   
keep from blushing like a teenager. All through the meal Pirro found herself moments   
away from reaching out to Cye, but each time she'd only pick up the salt or her drink, or   
anything but actually follow through with it.  
  
Once the meal was over, she knew she had to leave. It was the last thing she wanted,   
hardly daring to go out there at all and leave this haven, but she couldn't impose on Cye   
more than she already had.  
  
"Want me to drive you home? It's right on my way." Cye offered as she pulled her   
shoes on in the doorway.  
  
"Only if it won't make you late." Pirro said, wanting just to spend as much time with   
him as possible.  
  
"Alright then, you're coming with me." Cye smiled.  
  
Pirro laughed and followed him to his car. "Thank you then."  
  
"Consider it a thank you for a wonderful breakfast." He told her as she climbed in.  
  
As she fastened her seat belt she glanced over at Cye. "We'll have to do this again some   
time." She told him timidly.  
  
For a moment she was afraid she'd said too much, but Cye turned and looked at her.   
"Yes, we will, and soon."  
  
"So if there is anything at all  
All you've got to do is call  
And you know that I would  
Drive ten thousand miles…"  
  
It had been two weeks since she'd spent the night at Cye's place, and the two of them   
had seen each other almost every day since, either meeting for lunch or dinner. Today   
Pirro had made no definite plans with Cye, but she was hoping to hear from him when   
he was on his lunch break. She couldn't get herself to write for the moment, so she had   
curled up on her bed with a book to read, though her mind kept straying to the way Cye   
had looked the night before. It was taking everything in her to not just tell him she still   
loved him.  
  
The thought alone scared her and caused a pain in her chest. She had pushed him away   
so many times, she had broken his heart, and she had found love with Naoki. She   
wanted to be with Cye, but she didn't know if she was ready to be in a relationship right   
away. She wanted to make sure she was with Cye because of Cye, not because she was   
rebounding off Naoki.  
  
The day was too long, and the feeling of restlessness was too great. For several hours   
she tried to get into the book, but it just wasn't getting her attention. The phone rang,   
and in the hopes that it was Cye, she picked up on the second ring. "Moshi moshi!"  
  
"Miss Shudder?" Came a stranger's voice, speaking English.  
  
"Excuse me?" She asked reflexively.  
  
"Hello, I'm a reporter from an American journal called…" The voice began.  
  
"Eh?" Pirro cut him off, pretending she didn't understand a word of the English he'd   
spoken.  
  
"Is this Julie Shudder?" The voice asked.  
  
"Eh?" Pirro repeated, then started to yell at him in Japanese, speaking non-sense to   
make sure there was no way he'd understand her, then she slammed the phone down.   
She looked down at her hand and found it shaking. That wasn't exactly something   
she'd foreseen. Her private phone number shouldn't have been given out!  
  
She had no idea how the guy had gotten her phone number, but she got three more calls   
like that over the course of the day by three different reporters, validating that she'd   
been sold out. She stopped answering the phone after the first one, screening all her   
calls with her answering machine, wondering if she was going to have to move again, or   
just change her phone number, depending on how much these people knew about her.   
Every time the phone rang she braced herself for another reporter, and her nerves   
became more frazzled.  
  
She barricaded herself in her room and did her best to ignore the phone as she typed   
away at her computer, getting more and more aggravated at each ring. She finally   
couldn't write any more, being too strung out to concentrate. She logged onto the   
Internet to keep her mind busy. Perhaps she'd be able to loose herself in some mindless   
on-line game.  
  
A moment later her home page came up and she found herself looking into her own   
face. "Julie Shudder Revealed!" Ran the headline, and Pirro growled and closed out of   
the window. Well, so much for that idea.  
  
Great, the traitor had also released her picture. The damage was irreparable now, so she   
may as well give up her hopes of backing out of the deal. She shut her computer down   
and threw herself on her bed, wanting to cry over what an idiot she'd been. Everything   
was snowballing out of her control, and she didn't like it.  
  
She jumped when the phone rang again, and she about screamed. She wanted to be left   
alone! She was about to rip the phone chord out when the answering machine picked   
up. "Hello Pirro, it's me, Cye, I just called to say…"  
  
"Cye?" Pirro asked as she picked up the phone.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here." He said. "What's wrong?" He asked, instantly alarmed by the sound   
of her voice.  
  
"My picture's out, and the reporters have my phone number." Pirro blurted.  
  
"I'll be right over." Cye said, then hung up the phone.  
  
Pirro hung up and sank down to the bed. "Thank you." She whispered to the phone.  
  
"Just to show you that I care  
Just to kiss your honey hair  
And pull you close and hold you  
Like a child…"  
  
Cye knocked on Pirro's door. He heard her footsteps, then the door swung open, he was   
grabbed, pulled inside, and Pirro shut the door and fastened the locks. "Sorry, I'm   
getting paranoid." She apologized.  
  
"That's alright." Cye said. "I understand; I had to fight crowds to get here, and I was   
only let in because the landlord recognized me." He looked down at her and could see   
the anxiety in her eyes. He could tell she was afraid, very afraid.  
  
Cye pulled her into a hug. "It's alright, they can't get in here." He promised her. He   
felt her arms go around him and could tell she needed that hug. He held her for a   
moment before releasing her. "Tell me what happened." He said, sitting down on the   
couch and drawing her with him.  
  
Pirro sat beside him, looking relieved that he was there. "It started this morning I got a   
phone call, and it was from some reporter…" She recounted the day, ending with   
finding her picture posted on the web.  
  
"Have you spoken to your lawyer yet?" Cye asked.  
  
Pirro shook her head. "Why bother? I don't want their money, and it's not like they can   
take it back or undo what they did." She said.  
  
Cye nodded. "I know, but at least it's a way to show them that they can't get the best of   
you."  
  
Pirro sighed. "I know, but I don't care. It's over, my life as I knew it is over. The only   
place to go is foreword, wherever that is."  
  
Cye found himself taking her hand and squeezing it. "I know Pirro. The question is, are   
you going to bow out and concede, or are you going to walk out with your head up?"   
He asked.  
  
Pirro, who had been studying the floor, lifted her face to look at him. "I'm not going to   
let them win any more. My face is not my enemy." She said, squeezing Cye's hand.   
  
Cye smiled. "Alright, you look like you need a good mug of hot chocolate and a some   
comfort food." He told her.  
  
"Thank you." She said as he stood up and made his way into her kitchen.  
  
When Cye returned a short time later with a tray of snack food and hot chocolate, Pirro   
had cleared off the end table for them to eat off of. They settled themselves together and   
listened to the sounds of police sirens trying to break the mob up from in front of the   
building. "I'm going to have to move." Pirro finally said after fifteen minutes. "The   
landlord won't take much more of this, and I don't think I can anyway."  
  
Cye watched her for a few moments. "You know, the apartment next to mine is empty."   
He said, as if he meant more than he was saying.  
  
Pirro paused with food half way to her mouth to study his face. "Is that an invitation?"   
She asked.  
  
"I'll be closer to you then, in case an emergency comes up." Cye explained, then after a   
pause said, "Or you could move in with me."  
  
Pirro forgot to breathe. "Cye?"  
  
"Until you found a more permanent place." Cye amended. "Just so you could get out   
of this nightmare situation."  
  
Pirro was silent for several breaths before she said, "I'd like that."  
  
"Love heals everything  
We're no exception to that rule  
You mean everything  
You mean everything…"  
  
Cye pulled Pirro into a hug. "After everything that's happened in the past few years, I   
don't want to loose your friendship. That means more to me than anything in the   
world."  
  
Pirro curled up into him. "You are my best friend Cye." She felt him tighten his arms   
around her. "I don't want to ever leave you again."  
  
"Then don't." Cye said. When he felt her relax against him, he got the nerve to speak   
again. "Pirro stay with me, I love you."  
  
Pirro didn't respond for a moment, and Cye felt cold fear grip his heart. She had   
already rejected him once; he didn't think he could survive it again. Then he felt wet   
heat against his shirt and realized that Pirro was crying. "Pirro?" He asked.  
  
"You mean everything to me"  
  
"I love you too Cye." She said as she lifted her face, tears streaming down it, her voice   
cracking from the emotion. "I love you too, I love you still, I love you always."  
  
Cye wiped the tears away from her face. "I love you always." He vowed, then kissed   
her.  
  
  
  
  
Naoki stood in the corner and smiled, swiping a tear away from his own eye.  
  
"Ready to go?" A male voice asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm done here." Naoki said.  
  
"Need a tissue?" Anubis offered.  
  
"No, that's alright, it's just my allergies." Naoki insisted. He crossed the room and   
pressed his fingers to his lips, then against the top of Pirro's head. 


End file.
